surrogate wife

Chapter 97

Probably only I understand how painful it is to let go of a relationship and give up a person.Others only want to see the result, and only oneself can understand the process thoroughly.But in the end, I will understand that when everything is calm and calm, I will no longer be afraid and cowardly. Just like my mother said, I am still young, so what should I be afraid of in the future.

Of course, there are also sad times, and there are some shadows after all.Afraid of seeing children, very scared, woken up by nightmares countless nights, in dreams I would see my immature child, eyes closed, covered in blood, sometimes I would hear her scolding me in my dreams, saying I was cruel, wake up I was basically covered in cold sweat, and then the air around my body felt filled with sadness. I wanted to cry, but I didn't dare to make a loud noise, so I could only hide under the quilt and twitch faintly.

The songs I like will still be repeated in singles, and I can hum them when I hear the rhythm. I have to taste my favorite food every now and then, and I can always think of the taste in the end.And Chen Haotian, the man who has taken my first time countless times, whenever I think about it, his appearance will appear in my mind, anger, smile, domineering, authoritarian, like a habit, completely poured into my life inside.

In this world, the terrible thing is that we live a mediocre life, but still lie to ourselves that mediocrity is true, and I, who have not passed half my life, have already started to lie to myself.Of course, I don't want to be mediocre. On the contrary, I want to keep myself busy. Only by keeping myself in the process of constant operation can I have no time and energy to think about other things.

I started to go out on New Year's Day, but I didn't like to talk very much. When I met neighbors and they asked me why I was not at school, I just smiled and said: "Please take time off to take care of my mother!" Then they would He smiled and praised me for being filial and considerate.

I suddenly felt that my life seemed to be full of countless lies. It turned out that so many lies were needed to make up for a wrong thing.

January [-]st is New Year's Day, which is also a new year. My mother took me to the street to buy new clothes, and then bought me a mobile phone. Then don't give yourself any chance of being found by him.

At that time, we had already moved, and my mother’s insurance compensation and work injury compensation came down, and she spent more than 60 yuan, which is very good for a family like ours.

After paying back the uncle’s money, my mother found a house in the county. It was a second-hand demolition house. At that time, there was no bubble phenomenon in housing prices, and real estate speculation was not so exaggerated. Very cheap.Three bedrooms, one living room and one bathroom, it was only bought for more than 8 yuan, and now I don’t know how many times it has been doubled.

I’m not in the mood to ask too many questions. After I moved, I was bored in the room all day on QQ. I didn’t chat much before. When I logged in, I saw a lot of messages. Liu Han’s message was natural. It's not unusual, but I didn't expect Hua Shipeng to find me so many times.

I replied to my friends and classmates one by one, picked up some important ones, and told them the new number. As soon as I sent them, Liu Han called.

"Where did you go, you damn girl? You can't even connect to your cell phone. I thought you were kidnapped!"

I smiled softly, but my heart was warm, so I talked to her, and I told her, "My mother was injured and hospitalized, and I will go home to take care of her!"

"How did this happen?" She was a little surprised, and hurriedly asked me: "How did you hurt, how are you doing now?"

"In an accident on the construction site, the person was injured by a stone slab, and his calf was amputated!"

"Ah?" Liu Han and my mother know each other. They came to my house to play during the holidays when they were freshmen. Her parents are both in business and rarely at home, so they are very close to my mother. It must be a bit uncomfortable to hear this now. , so the voice also became hoarse.She blamed me: "Why didn't you tell me earlier, you bastard!"

I hurriedly comforted: "It's okay, and now I'm discharged from the hospital! Besides, I was in a mess at that time, and I couldn't be busy at all, and I didn't want you to worry, so I didn't tell you." Then I told her Barabara a lot before she was relieved .Then she apologized to me and said, "It's all my fault, I'm busy competing and don't care about you!" After that, she told me something about her competition.

I'm very happy for Liu Han. After the audition, it's already the preliminary stage. After New Year's Day, her preliminary round will be held. After the end, the results will be released at the end of January. If it passes, it will be the rematch after the next year.

I cheered her on, and at the end of the talk, she actually asked me about the child again.

At home, my brother and my mother seem to have a discussion, and they have never talked about this kind of topic. Now that Liu Han asked me unintentionally, I suddenly felt that I was hit a few times, and the soy sauce was so strong.

I pretended to cough a few times, said I had a cold and didn't feel well, and changed the subject, but she didn't care much and stopped talking, just told me to "rest early and contact more!" and hung up the phone.

Lying on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, tears fell down in big drops, I reached out and touched my stomach, it was flat, there was nothing inside.After the induced labor, I didn't cry loudly during the day, but this time I couldn't help it, and buried myself in the pillow and howled for a long time.

After crying, my eyes were swollen and sore. I got up and ran to the kitchen, secretly took a towel and wrung some cold water to apply it. When I came out, I saw my mother secretly looking at me at the door.

Those eyes turned mournful, my lips trembled but didn't say a word, I hurriedly turned my head and ran into the room, for fear that my mother would see my tears.

I took a towel to apply, and told myself over and over in my heart that I couldn't mourn any longer. On the surface, I was bearing the hurt, but it affected the people closest to me.

I want me to wipe away my tears, I want to bind up my wounds with a smile, I want me to use my strength to shut up those old millet and rotten sesame seeds, I want me to stride forward and never look back, I want I believe that a body with rotten bones will only attract flies, and only by being reborn can we regain happiness and give our family peace of mind.

In the evening, Hua Shipeng's QQ profile picture flashed again, and he was in a monotonous mood, so he chatted for a few words without saying anything, just talked about life casually, and accidentally learned that he had returned to W City and opened a dessert shop , on the side of Auchan.

He asked me to play, and I told him: "I'm afraid it's impossible this semester, I'm at home, and I won't go back until school starts!"

He didn't ask me anything, maybe he was always a little apprehensive towards me about the previous things, and he didn't continue to talk to the bone when he was talking, I also understood, so I just chatted casually.In the end, he asked me for my phone number on QQ while I was sleeping. I hesitated for a moment, but I gave it after thinking about it for so long.

After sending the number, he immediately sent a message back: "If you really changed the number, no wonder Liu Han said he couldn't reach you!"

"You asked her to pass my number?" I sent it.

"I asked her for it after we ate together last time. She was in a competition at that time, and I came back later, saying that I couldn't be contacted. It seems that I changed my number!"

I was a little dazed, and read this passage carefully for a long time, but didn't ask any more questions.I said goodnight to him while I was sleeping, and then quit QQ.

After taking a shower, I received a text message from an unfamiliar number on my mobile phone. I opened it and saw that it was from Hua Shipeng. It was very simple: This is my number. If you need to contact me, come to my shop when school starts!

I didn't reply, I threw my phone aside, my hair was still wet after washing, it was so wet and uncomfortable, I suddenly thought of the sentence that Hua Shipeng sent me on QQ before, and suddenly I couldn't understand it.

I just lost my mobile phone when I was inducing labor. I also contacted Liu Han before. I remembered to call before going home. Why did Hua Shipeng say that I was not contacted?

I patted my forehead and felt that I was overthinking. Liu Han and I have been in this relationship for so many years. It is impossible for her to play tricks on me. Hua Shipeng must have misremembered.

I passed this semester at home. Near the end of the semester, I received an email from the school to hand in a term paper. I called Liu Han and she said she bought one on Taobao. I hurriedly asked her for the address, and she said a Will post it on my QQ.

Speaking of QQ, I asked by the way, "Hanhan, have you contacted Hua Shipeng recently?"

She froze for a moment on the phone, then asked me with a dry smile, "Why did you ask this suddenly?"

Seeing that her tone was a little light, I didn't dare to ask any more, thinking that if I really misunderstood it, it would appear that I was supercilious, so I immediately chatted about something else.

Liu Han didn't ask any more questions, he chatted with me for a long time with the same gossip, and asked me when I would go back to school before going to bed, and I said, "After the eighth day of the lunar new year, go back early, the school will be busy for a while!"

"That's right, you haven't been to class for a long time!"

I giggled and immediately replied to her: "Aren't you too!"

After hanging up the phone, I opened QQ and Liu Han's avatar flashed non-stop. When I opened it was a link to Taobao, I immediately clicked in to have a look.At that time, it was not so convenient to surf the Internet with mobile phones, so I could only save it and think about going to the Internet cafe to get it tomorrow.

Just as he was about to quit QQ, Hua Shipeng's profile picture flashed again, and he clicked on it for a chat, then fell asleep.

The days went by like this, 2007 passed like this, and 2008 came with new expectations. This year was as lively as the previous ones, but everyone was at peace with their own affairs.

On the tenth day of the Lunar New Year, I was about to go back to City W. My mother pulled me into the room and gave me a card with 30 in her savings.

I was a little puzzled, and just as I was about to ask, she said, "This money is for him, you have been with him for so long, there is no way you can give him this money!"

I was a little dazed, thinking that my mother would never mention him in front of me at all.My mother saw my thoughts, sighed, and said slowly: "Mom also thought about it for a long time, and didn't want you to see him, and didn't want you to have anything to do with him, but mother knows that if you don't pay back the money, we will not pay you in this life." Everyone owes him, so Mom thought about it for a long time, and felt that he still had to pay him back the money!"

I also felt that a clean break was necessary, so I didn't ask any more questions, but just nodded.Of course, my mother would not let me go to see him alone. When she gave me the card, she said: "I will ask your brother to send you to school, and you will be in charge of contacting him. Your brother will return the money. Mom doesn't want you to see him." Follow him!"

(End of this chapter)