Human disqualification

Chapter 12
Because the house in Mitaka, Tokyo was bombed, the whole family moved to live in Kofu, the hometown of his wife.There is also a younger sister in the wife's family.

In early April of Showa 20, Allied bombers frequently flew over Kofu City, but the bombers hardly dropped bombs.Compared with Tokyo, the atmosphere of the whole city of Kofu is also much better.Now I can finally take off my anti-aircraft suit and sleep, which is unthinkable in recent Tokyo.I am 37 years old and my wife is 34 years old. We have a five-year-old daughter and a two-year-old son who was born in August of the previous year.The previous life was not very rich, but at any rate there were no disasters.Sometimes I think, I really need to live and see what life turns out to be after all the hardships.Also, I don't want my wife and kids to die before me, leaving me alone in the world.This kind of situation is unbearable.In order to prevent my wife from suffering a disaster, I should have taken safety measures early, but I have no money.I like to drink, so when I make some money, I drink it.Alcohol was considered a luxury at the time, but as long as there were friends visiting, I wanted to take them out for a drink, otherwise I always felt sorry for them.As a result, I haven't accomplished anything until now, and I can only watch others enviously evacuate to the countryside with the whole family.On the other hand, I was lazy, so I kept procrastinating on this matter. I took my family and moved to my wife's natal home until Mitaka was hit by an air raid.After wearing the anti-aircraft suit for nearly a hundred days, I can finally take it off.And there was no need to wake up the children in the middle of the night, and the family hurriedly hid in the cold air-raid shelter.Maybe there will be various disasters in the future, but at least now I don't have to live in fear every day.

But we still "lost our home", and our life in the future will definitely be different from before.Although I have also experienced hardships, it was the first time for me to live with my wife's natal family with my children, so I felt a lot of bitterness different from before.The wife's parents are no longer alive, the older sisters are married off, and the household is now headed by the youngest boy, who graduated from college and joined the Navy.Now only the wife's younger sister, the boy's older sister, is left in the family in Kofu City. She is about 27 years old.She often corresponded with her younger brother who joined the army, and discussed with him all matters at home.I'm supposed to be the older brother of both of them, but I don't have any say at home in Kofu City.I am ashamed to say that since my wife and I got married, I have caused a lot of trouble in this family.In fact, I am an unreliable man, so it is normal for younger brothers and sisters not to consult me ​​about things.Besides, I am not interested in their family property, everyone knows that.My wife's younger sister (I didn't ask how old she is, maybe 26, maybe 27, or maybe 28) is alone in handling the big and small things at home, and the 37-year-old brother-in-law and 34-year-old sister suddenly broke in Well, maybe one day they will hide the family property from my sister and my brother in the navy who is far away... No one should be suspicious, but as seniors, I am afraid that they will inadvertently hurt their self-esteem.I was very cautious at the time, as if I didn't want to trample on the tender green moss in the garden, so I stepped on the stepping stones carefully.Sometimes I even hope that there will be an elder who knows the world in this family, so that we can relax more easily.This kind of thinking is really troublesome.

I borrowed a six-seat room facing the backyard from my family as my studio and bedroom, and I borrowed a six-seat room with a Buddhist altar from my family for my wife and children to live in.In order not to let the wife and her family suffer, we negotiated the rent, food expenses and other expenses according to the prevailing market conditions.If I have guests coming, I bring them to my studio and never take up the living room at home.But I like to drink, and I have a tourist mentality, so I often cause trouble at home.My wife's younger sister is very polite to us, and often helps take care of the two children, and has never had a conflict with us.Because we have lost our own home, it is inevitable that we will have bad feelings, so we are always cautious in life.Although they are relatives, the evacuation still made everyone very tired.Among the evacuees, our home is doing fairly well, so one can imagine how the other evacuees are faring.

"Unless your home is burned down, you must stick to Tokyo."

This is what I wrote to my family friend who stayed in Tokyo.

We moved to Kofu in April, when it was still a bit cold.The cherry blossoms here bloom later than in Tokyo, and this is the time when the cherry blossoms in the mountains are blooming.The weather in May and June starts to become sultry. At this time, the leaves of the pomegranate tree become shiny, the red flowers are more delicate under the scorching sun, and the small blue grains on the vines also form bunches of grapes.At this time in Kofu City, there was news that the Allied forces were about to launch an air raid on the small city, which meant that Kofu City would soon be razed to the ground.In a panic, everyone packed the valuables at home into the car, and fled to the mountains with the whole family.In the middle of the night, noisy voices of people and carriages can always be heard.Although I knew that Kofu City would encounter an air raid sooner or later, I managed to take off the air defense suit and sleep peacefully for two days. Now I have to evacuate to the mountains with my wife and children. Alas, I really can't cheer up.

——Let’s stick to it and see what the form is like.Anyway, the older one is already five years old and can run away. When the burning bullets fall, my wife will carry the younger one on her back and lead the older one to the countryside far away from the urban area. At that time, my wife’s sister and I will stay at home and try our best to protect this place. Home.If it can't be saved, the house will be burnt down, and we will rebuild another house.

I told my whole family what I thought, and everyone agreed.In order not to embarrass ourselves, we started digging holes and filled them with daily necessities such as food, shoes, cosmetics, mirrors, needlework, pots and pans.

"And this one, bury this one too."

The five-year-old daughter came over with her pair of red clogs.

"Okay, okay." I took the clogs from her hand and buried them in a corner, suddenly feeling like I buried someone.

"Our whole family can finally think of going together." The wife's sister stood aside and said.

Maybe she thought it was the peaceful bliss on the eve of death.

Four or five days later, the house was burned down in an instant.The air raid came a month earlier than I expected.

About ten days ago, as if they had made an appointment, both children had eye diseases. The doctor diagnosed them as epidemic conjunctivitis.The younger one didn’t have any major problems, but my sister’s eyes became more and more serious. Two or three days before the air raid, she was almost completely blind. Her eyelids were so swollen that she couldn’t open her whole eye. It was eroded, like the eyes of a dead fish, and the whole face was also deformed.I think it is definitely not conjunctivitis, it should be caused by the invasion of malignant bacteria.Is it impossible to completely cure it now?We quickly changed to another doctor, and the diagnosis was still conjunctivitis.A full recovery is not completely hopeless, it just takes a long time.But I thought the doctor was wrong.In fact, I don't trust doctors' judgments very much. Their judgments are inaccurate in most cases.

Ah, let her get well soon, let her see again.I tried to get myself drunk with alcohol, but I was still full of worries.Sometimes when I came back from drinking outside, I would squat by the side of the road and vomit, or stand by the side of the road and pray with my hands folded, hoping to see my daughter open her eyes when I got home.One day when I walked to the door of the house and heard my daughter singing, I was overjoyed and ran to the house, only to see my daughter standing in a dark room with her head bowed and singing.

I couldn't bear to see this scene, so I turned and left.I'm a down and out alcoholic, and my kids are blind because of me, which wouldn't have happened if I had lived my life better.This is the scourge of God, and the karma of adults is imposed on children.Whether it is literature or fame, if the child's eyes are blind, what if he gets them?So I decided to put all these aside and guard the child's growth forever.

"Where are the feet? Where are the hands?"

Sometimes watching her groping and playing with her brother makes me wonder what if an air raid comes at this time.Every time I think of this, I can't help but tremble all over.If I carry her on my back, and my wife carries my son on my back, can my wife’s younger sister keep the house alone?I'm afraid that when the time comes, I can only watch this home being destroyed, and then flee.To sum up the experience of Tokyo being bombed before, we still need to be mentally prepared.The Allied air strikes must have covered the entire Kofu. The hospital where my daughter was seeing a doctor and other hospitals would also be burned down. By then, all the doctors would have run away. What would happen to my daughter's eyes?
"It doesn't matter, if you persist for another month, the situation will get better."

I told my family over dinner.As a result, on this night, the air raid siren was sounded with a huge explosion, and the incendiary bombs began to be dropped, and the surrounding area was illuminated by the fire as bright as day.The wife's sister threw the pots and pans into the small pool in front of the house, and there was a crackling sound in the pool.

Now is the most dangerous time, I immediately hugged the quilt, carried my blind daughter on my back, my wife also hugged the quilt, carried the young son on my back and ran outside, hiding in the ditch two or three times on the way, we ran About one kilometer and hid in the farmland.The wheat in the farmland has just been harvested. We spread the mattress on the ground and the whole family lay on it to rest.After a while, flames rained down on the top of the head.

"Cover your head with a mattress."

I yelled at my wife, and hid under the mattress with my daughter in my arms.It would be bad if the shrapnel fell on the body.

Fortunately, the body was not hit by shrapnel.But when he lifted the quilt, he saw that the surrounding area had been burned into a sea of ​​flames.

"It's on fire, hurry up and put out the fire." I pulled up the mattress and shouted loudly while fighting the fire, so that the villagers lying nearby could hear me.The fire was quickly extinguished.Although the child couldn't see it, he could feel that the atmosphere was not right. He lay on my back and clung to my shoulders, neither crying nor fussing.

"Are you injured?"

After the fire was gradually extinguished, I hurried to my wife.

"It's okay, I hope it will pass like this." She replied calmly.

The wife thinks that bombing bombs are more terrible than burning bombs.

We moved to other places with everyone, rested for a while, and the rain of flames above our heads began to fall again.It may sound unbelievable, but all the people who came to take refuge in the fields were not injured, and those who survived seemed to be shrouded in divinity.There was still sticky oil burning around them, and everyone put out the fire with clods or bedding, and lay down to rest again.

My wife's younger sister rushed from Kofu to a distant relative's house a mile away to find something to eat. Our family lay on the futon and rested under another futon. We decided to spend the night here.I was too tired to run around with my baby on my back.The children were already asleep on the futons, while the adults watched the flames rising above Kofu.Gradually, the roar of the plane became smaller and smaller.

"Should it be over?"

"almost."

"The house must have been burned too?"

"I don't know, I really hope I can stay."

The family is definitely hopeless, but I still hope that the family can stand there properly, and it would be great if there is a miracle.

"There should be no hope..."

"Maybe."

There is still a glimmer of hope in my heart.

A house in front of them was burning, making crackling noises.It took a long time to burn out.The history of the family was burned to ashes along with the roof and pillars.

Twilight appeared in the distant sky, and the sky was about to dawn.

There is a school near the village that has not been burned down. My wife and I came to this school with our children on our backs and took a break in the classroom on the second floor.The children slowly woke up.The daughter's eyelids were still swollen, and she still couldn't open her eyes, so she could only feel her way up and down the platform.She didn't seem to know what the changes on her body meant, so she didn't pay much attention to it.

I wanted to go back and check the situation at home, so I left my wife and children here and ran home alone.On the road, I saw the houses on both sides of the road still burning, and it was very painful to walk in the smoke and heat.I stopped and stopped along the way, and took a lot of detours before I reached the area where my home is located.How nice it would be if the home was still there.Alas, stop thinking about it, there is absolutely no way this could happen. ——I kept persuading myself, but I still expected this scene to happen in my mind.

Finally saw the black board wall.

Ah, good, home is still there.

But the house was completely burned down, leaving only four walls.The wife's sister stood on the ruins with a livid face.

"Brother-in-law, how are the children?"

"It's all fine."

"where is it?"

"School."

"In order to bring you food, I have been running desperately."

"Thank you."

"Cheer up a little. The things buried in the soil should be fine. There are so many things that we can use for a long time."

"It would have been nice to have buried more."

"That's all right. No matter where you go in the future, it's fine. Even if you have to rely on others to take care of you, you won't feel inferior. It's just great. Brother-in-law, you can rest here for a while, and I'll take the food to school now Give them to eat. This is rice ball for you, you should eat more quickly."

A 27-year-old woman is actually more calm and composed than a 40-year-old man—maybe more than 37—she is a very reliable person.My brother-in-law is nearly [-] years old and still useless.I took a board off the charred siding and sat down in an open space at the back of the house, munching on rice balls left by my wife's sister.I don’t know if it’s because I have a low IQ or just don’t know how to worry. I hardly think about how the whole family will live in the future. I only care about where to go to treat my daughter’s eye disease.

Not long after, the wife carried the son on her back, and the wife's sister led the daughter back to the ruins.

"Did you come here by yourself?" I lowered my head and asked my daughter.

"Yeah." She nodded in agreement.

"It's been an amazing journey to come this far. Now the house is on fire."

"Yeah." Still nodded.

I turned to my wife and said, "I'm afraid the doctors have escaped, what should I do about her eyes?"

"Washed with water in the morning."

"Where did you wash it?"

"School, just happened to meet a doctor who went to the school to make a round."

"Great."

"The nurse seems to be perfunctory..."

"Oh."

On this day, we came to spend the night at the home of my wife's sister's classmate in the suburbs.The whole family came to this house with pots and pans dug out from the ruins. I smiled and took out a pocket watch from my trouser pocket and said, "Fortunately, this thing is not lost. I saw it before I ran out." It was put on the table, and it went in the pocket by the way."

What I carry in my pocket is my brother's watch in navy, which I borrowed to put on my studio table.

"It's really great." The wife's sister smiled and said, "Brother-in-law, you have made a great contribution, and our family has another property."

"Is it?" I felt very proud, "If you don't have a watch, it will feel inconvenient." I put the watch into my daughter's hand, "It's ticking, you put it to your ear and listen. Look , How good is this thing, it can be used as a toy for children who can't see."

The daughter put the watch close to her ear, tilted her head and listened carefully for a while.Suddenly, the watch fell out of her hand and fell to the ground with a "click", and the glass surface on the watch was broken.Ruined!There is no place to buy the glass surface, and it cannot be repaired now.

"Broken?"

I was suddenly depressed.

"Really." The wife's sister murmured in a low voice, but she didn't seem to care much about this thing that was the only property in the family.It relaxes me.

We cook and eat in the family's courtyard.When going to bed in the evening, the whole family huddled in a six-mat room.Although the wife and her sister were very tired, there was no sleepiness.The two lay on the bed and whispered about what to do next.

"Don't think too much, there will always be a solution, if it doesn't work, I'll take you back to my hometown." I couldn't help but interject.

My wife and my wife's sister ignored me, thinking about their own affairs in silence.They never take my suggestions seriously.

I smiled wryly and said: "It seems that you don't believe me. Things have developed to this point, you just believe me, I beg you."

In the darkness came the laughter of his wife's sister.The laughter seemed to say, "No matter what you say, it's no use."

After she finished speaking, she began to discuss other matters with her wife.

no way.I had no choice but to smile and say: "Well, you can say whatever you want. Since you don't believe what I say, then I will shut up."

"You always say things that don't make sense, who knows if you're serious or joking. For example, you must be thinking now that you can drink."

"That's not enough, is it?"

"If there is wine tonight, will you drink it?"

"Uh...maybe."

The two finally decided to find another family tomorrow and not to cause trouble for this family.The next day, we found a car, loaded the things we dug out of the hole into, and went to another friend of my wife’s sister.The male owner of this family is about 50 years old and seems to be a noble elder.His house is very spacious.We borrowed a big ten-seat room at the back from him to live in.The hospital has also settled down.

The hostess of the house told us that the county hospital had moved to a building in the suburbs that hadn't been burned down.My wife and I set off to the hospital with a baby on our backs.We took a shortcut and crossed the path in the mulberry garden. After walking for more than ten minutes, we saw the temporary county hospital at the foot of the mountain.

It was a female doctor who showed my daughter's eyes.

"We were so anxious that the child's eyes couldn't be opened at all. I wanted to go back to my hometown in the countryside, but I didn't go because I thought that taking a long-distance train might make her condition worse. The current situation is that her eyes can't be cured. Where can we go? I can’t go either. What can I do?” I explained my illness while wiping off my sweat, in order to make the female doctor look at it more carefully.

The female doctor said to me in a brisk tone: "The eyes will be opened soon."

"Really?"

"There is nothing wrong with the eyeball, just look at it four or five times."

"Don't you need an injection or something?" His wife couldn't help interjecting.

"Of course you can get an injection if you want."

"Thank you doctor, then please give her an injection." The wife sincerely thanked the doctor.

I don't know if the injection helped or it was time to recover. My daughter could open her eyes the next afternoon after returning from the county hospital.

This made me so happy that I kept yelling: "That's great!" After speaking, I carried her and rushed to the burned home.

"Look, is the house burned down?"

"It was burned." The child said with a smile.

"Rabbits and shoes were also burned, as well as Oda Kiri's house, Chino's house, and all the houses nearby were burned."

"Well, they were all burned." The daughter replied with a smile.

(End of this chapter)