don't mess with me

Chapter 27 Speech
Gao Gingan waved his hand to stop the applause, scanned the seats and said, "Du Zhiyu, sit in the third row, Li Xiaozha and Zhao Qianqian."

Zhao Qianqian's original tablemate packed her schoolbag and sat in the third row, and Nezha sat next to Zhao Qianqian, which aroused the envy of a group of boys this time.

Gao Bingyan clapped his hands and said, "I welcome a famous writer from our city to give a speech to everyone." There are too many, and when you go to the mall to buy a pair of shoes, you can meet a few book signings there, not to mention bearing the title of "this city".

I walked up to the podium with trepidation. I said that I almost never had the chance to set foot in this place when I was in school. Not this mental outlook.

I put my hand in my pocket and said, "What do you want me to say?"

The Celestial Doll said, "Let me tell you a joke first."

"Uh..." I murmured, "Let me give you a brain teaser first. Xiao Ming's mother has three sons. The eldest son is Da Mao and the second son is Er Mao..."

"The third child is Xiao Ming!" Before I could finish speaking, the audience shouted in unison.

I sweated a lot, and the Tianjie Doll laughed loudly: "Are you making a bad joke?"

After shouting, the students all stared at me with disdain. If it weren't for the presence of Gao Guangyan, there would have been booing. If so, a few boys whispered: "Go down——"

I made a straight face on purpose and said: "Don't mess with me, my pen name is Long Aotian!"

This time the whole class finally burst into laughter, and I could tell that it was kind.

Gao Bingyan didn't know where the culprit was, and said with a blank face: "This name is very imposing."

I said, "Don't look down on me, after all, I am qualified to stand here and lecture you, and you can only stand here and recite the inspection."

Another burst of laughter.

The Tianjie doll said excitedly: "Start to accept the joyful mood, Xiaoqiang, come on, it's getting better."

I said: "Don't think that you will be better than me in the future. You must know that 90.00% of what you learn now is useless."

Gao stared aside and couldn't help but said, "Huh?"

The students were still thinking about this sentence, but when she said this, people laughed again.

Zhao Qianqian said: "It's an exaggeration, I think 80.00% is about the same."

Gao glared at her: "Raise your hand before speaking, please sit down for me."

I smiled and said, "Then let's start with Chinese. What do you think is the biggest benefit of learning Chinese?"

A small girl in the first row said: "Read books and newspapers."

"More than half of the answers are correct, but not completely. The most important use of learning Chinese is to read books, read newspapers and fill out forms, such as bank forms and neighborhood committee forms. So if you are not good at Chinese, you will only be a person with no money and status in the future. ,Very serious consequences!"

Gao Bingyan was a Chinese teacher, and he couldn't help but nodded contentedly when he heard this.

I changed my subject and said, "Even if you want to be a gangster. If you don't have good Chinese, you can't even wash your money!"

Gao stared: "Huh?"

I quickly said: "But can you fill out the form now?"

The students all said, "Yes."

"So, you basically don't need to learn Chinese anymore. Remember the Chinese teacher who taught you Pinyin, that is your enlightenment teacher. It is very important to learn Chinese well, but you don't have to be good at it. What is written on the back of the public toilet door is definitely not Well, everyone knows that."

"Hahahaha——" the students looked at Gao Guangyan and laughed exaggeratedly.

The Heavenly Doll said: "Keep going, oops, I discovered a new way to get rich!"

In order to give Gao Bingyan face, I added: "Of course, the person who helped you make the icing on the cake is also great." Only then did Gao Bingyan's face soften.

Someone said loudly: "Is it important to learn mathematics?"

"It's very important. You went to the bank to fill out a form and wanted to send someone 1000 yuan, but you gave the bank 10000. Who do you talk to? Anyway, it's not reliable to talk to the bank."

"We're not that stupid!" someone protested.

"So, you know what I'm talking about—mathematics is very important, and it's unnecessary to learn it well. Just don't be taken advantage of. So, which math teacher do you think is the most important?"

"The first one!" This time the students learned without a teacher.

Tianjie Doll said: "I found that your speech is suitable for kindergarten!"

I ignored it and continued: "Physical chemistry is the same thing. Believe it or not, some of you have to ask for help when you change the light tube after you learn how to connect the circuit? What about chemistry? Knowing that salty salt is sodium chloride It is enough, unless you want to be a poison maker in the future, let alone English, when you meet a foreigner, you will say 'good belly', 'Emuan's oil' you can't even ask the toilet when you go to a foreign country, of course , more than half of you have no chance to go abroad."

I praised and criticized every subject they studied one by one, which is called irresponsible nonsense. When it comes to joy, the students are about to revolt against me.The laughter didn't stop in the middle.

Gao Gingan seemed to have reached the critical point of collapse, and I saw that she had a tendency to drive me down, so she hurriedly said: "Actually, what I said is only from the most practical point of view, the charm of any subject in this world It’s not the subject itself, but the way of thinking that teaches people, so students should not be biased if they have enough brains, and the most immediate thing is that you can avoid a lot of detours than others if you get a good score in the college entrance examination.”

Gao stared and let out a sigh of relief.

When I left the podium, the applause was unprecedentedly warm. I blinked at Zhao Qianqian, and was sent out of the classroom by Gao Dingyan. Gao Dingyan closed the door, and the flesh on his face jumped up and down: "Are you here to ruin my career?" If I hadn't She is optimistic about the prospective son-in-law, she must have fought with me long ago.

I apologized and said with a smile: "Didn't I pull you back in the end?"

Gao stared and said, "Anyway, you don't want to be on my stage in the future." She asked me, "Are you satisfied with my arrangement of Zhao Qianqian and your cousin?"

"Very well, let me worry about you."

Gao stared in confusion and said, "Speaking of which, if Zhao Qianqian is your niece, what should she call Li Xiaozha?"

I was also confused for a moment, and said casually: "Anyway, they are close relatives, so they cannot get married!"

Gao stared: "..."

……

After leaving the school, Tianjie Doll said: "Xiaoqiang congratulations, you have gained a total of 59 emotional coins for this speech!"

There are 61 students in Zhao Qianqian's class, and I murmured: "Damn, there are two who are not smiling!"

The Celestial Doll said: "Let's follow this way of thinking in the future, and give speeches in crowded places, and we can no longer be passive."

I said, "Still talking? Didn't you look at Gao Bingyan and almost strangled me?"

The Tianjie doll was immersed in her own fantasy: "Next time we will give a speech in front of the whole school, no! On the city's TV stations, you can change your tricks, talk about talk shows today, tragedies the next, and analyze the stock market the day after tomorrow..."

"What am I doing analyzing the stock market?"

"Sorrow is also necessary."

I said quietly: "Why am I so versatile?"

I spent the morning when I sent Nezha to school in fear. I was afraid that Gao Guangyan would call me. The end result: either Li Xiaozha will be sent to the No. [-] Hospital, or he will be beaten up by the director of the teaching department and then sent to the No. [-] hospital. If Nezha resists, then the director of the teaching department will be convulsed by Li Xiaozha...

Fortunately, the whole morning was calm, and Tianjie Doll began to plan its next conspiracy—how to go to crowded places to actively absorb emotional coins.

At first I thought sending Nezha to school was very reckless and risky, but now it looks good, at least he won’t be too bored during this time, the place like school should not stimulate his desire to cram too much, and me and The Celestial Doll is free to do her own thing.

At noon, Nezha and Zhao Qianqian went home together. I heard the sound of two people saying goodbye to each other in the corridor at home. I opened the door and welcomed Nezha in. I couldn't wait to ask: "How is it? Didn't anything happen?"

"No." Nezha said.

"So what do you think of school?"

Nezha said, "It's boring, but also interesting."

"What does it mean?"

Nezha said: "You are not allowed to move or speak when you are in class, and you have to raise your hand when you ask questions. It's too frustrating, but the content of the class seems to be very profound."

"profound?"

"Well, I can't understand a word anyway, but I still think it's amazing!"

I stuck my head into the sofa - this is just not knowing what's going on!
Nezha said: "But I am still confident that I can learn it well. I couldn't understand the heavenly scriptures that my master showed me when he taught me Kung Fu back then."

"Oh, which subject do you think you can learn well?"

"Anyway, besides the one called English, there are also chemistry and mathematics."

"What class do you have in the morning?"

"Four quarters."

I said hopefully, "What lesson is there?"

"Sports." Nezha said, "I will definitely learn this well."

I poked my head into the couch again.At this time, I suddenly thought of a very fatal problem - if other homework can be perfunctory with poor foundation, then the Chinese class with high eyes can't be hidden anyway, and Nezha can't even write!
(End of this chapter)