Out of Depression: A Depressed Patient's Successful Self-Help

Chapter 13 Primary treatment of depression (2)
Of course, there are other types of depression besides "dominant depression."For example, bipolar disorder is characterized by alternating depression and mania.When the patient is in a manic state, he will be extremely energetic, high-spirited, full of self-confidence, and full of ambitions, as if there are many great plans waiting for him to realize.But when he is in a depressed state, he will become depressed and hopeless, giving people the feeling that he seems to be a different person, and the "great plan" in a manic state will also be abandoned anticlimactically.If you want to know more about bipolar disorder, see Kay Redfield Jamieson's book "My 30 Years with Bipolar Disorder".If it is accompanied by hallucinations and delusions, this type of depression is called "psychotic depression."hallucinations:
Objectless perception.The perceived image is not caused by objective things, for example, no one is around and can hear others speak ill of you.Delusion is a kind of pathological thinking that is divorced from reality. Its characteristics are: first, reasoning based on unfounded assumptions, which violates the logic of thinking, and draws unrealistic conclusions; second, firmly believes in absurd conclusions Undoubtedly, this absurd conclusion cannot be corrected by presenting facts and reasoning for knowledge education and one's own personal experience.For example, patients think that their family is playing on TV, so they turn off the TV; they think that the contents of the newspaper are alluding to their family, so they put the newspaper aside; The phlegm was directed at him, it was contempt for him, and he refused to leave the house.

Of course, if a diagnosis is required, a professional institution is required. The above-mentioned knowledge about depression diagnosis is only used as a reference for self-assessment.

causes of depression

"Why am I suffering from this damn depression?" is a question that many patients worry about.Answering the "why" is conducive to our next step of "how to do".

Different theories have different explanations for why you fall into depression. Of course, one explanation does not exclude another explanation, but the analysis angle is different.Sometimes, falling into depression is also caused by many reasons. Here are some theoretical explanations about the causes of depression.

genetic factors
The first possibility is that some people are born with a predisposition to depression.The neurochemicals that go wrong in our brains when we're depressed sometimes come from our genes, the stretches of DNA that control a host of biochemicals.If this insight holds, then we could see the continuation of depression in families, that is, depression is heritable.

Investigations of identical twins have also demonstrated the presence of a genetic factor.Among identical twins, if one of them suffers from depression, the other is more likely to be depressed than the others.Although identical twins have the same gene, they do not necessarily have the disease at the same time. One of them has the disease, and it does not mean that the other will also have the disease. This fact shows that in addition to genetic factors, factors such as environment, education, and growth cannot be ignored. .So we should avoid the simplistic mistake of assuming that all depression is a genetic product when drawing conclusions.

Growth experience
While genetics play a role in our susceptibility to depression, a person's upbringing, especially early life experiences, has a more significant impact on whether they develop depression.If a child grows up in a family that lacks love, or even if the parents love their children, but often show "love" in a harsh way, then the child who grows up in such a family will often lack self-confidence and easily Self-denial.Discord between parents, often noisy, or parents who have neurotic tendencies, such as excessive pursuit of perfection, fault-finding, severe narcissism, etc., will make children experience insecurity and form basic anxiety.In order to overcome anxiety, he will try to do everything perfectly, so as to win the affirmation of the people around him, so as to alleviate the insecurity in his heart.Once this distorted psychological defense mechanism is formed, it will affect a person's life beliefs and inner drive.

belief in life
Although we live in the same world, we have different perspectives and ways of looking at things. This difference may come from our parents, growth, education, environment and other differences.Once people form a certain way of looking at themselves, others and the world, it is difficult to change, and they will tend to use this perspective to look at people and things around them in the future. Even if the environment changes, it is difficult to change their inherent concepts .For example, if a child has always had difficulty meeting the expectations of his parents, or if he makes a mistake, he will be beaten, scolded and scolded by his parents, then he will easily form the belief that "I am a failure".No matter how well he behaves in the future, it will be difficult to be satisfied with himself.

Once a certain belief is formed, he tends to ignore the evidence contrary to his belief. Through this "filtering effect", he will be more sure of the "correctness" of his judgment, while ignoring the truth.For example, once a person thinks that he is a failure, he will easily find his own failures, because this is in line with his "taste", even if he has success, he will not affirm himself because of this success, Instead, think that this success is just an accident or a coincidence, or that anyone can do it.Of course all of this is not a conscious act, but automatic, as if things were meant to be like this.Therefore, psychotherapy sometimes targets this negative belief, breaks this distorted way of thinking, and improves the emotional state.

inner drive
Life beliefs will only affect a person's judgment and evaluation of a certain aspect of things, while inner drives will affect a person's overall life tone and pursuit.Beliefs affect only a "point," whereas drives affect a "side."Intrinsic drive is an internal driving force that affects and dominates our lives. Many choices and judgments in our lives are almost produced here, and symptoms are no exception.

In life, we know that we should not be anxious, fearful or depressed about something, someone or something, but reason often cannot convince our heart.When reason fails, it actually means that the inner drive is controlling us. It is like another self, but we don't understand it.There was a young man who was afraid that his nervousness would affect others, that his appearance was not clean enough, that his blushing would be discovered by others, he was particularly concerned about what others thought of him, and he was also brooding over his own failures.Although he knows that he shouldn't care so much about his own performance, nor what others think, but he just can't control his emotions.When his shortcomings are exposed to others, and when he may be denied by others, he will become extremely anxious and fearful.After analysis, it is the inner driving force, not reason, that is controlling him.Just imagine, if a person is so worried about other people's opinions and cares so much about his own imperfections, then his "pursuit" must be: to win everyone's affirmation, there must be no imperfections... precisely because of such He is so sensitive to "little things" because of his "pursuit".And this kind of "pursuit" comes from the inner driving force deep in a person's heart.This force is pushing him to make himself perfect in order to win everyone's affirmation.Although he himself has not realized the existence of this force, and does not admit that he has such a "non-human" pursuit, but it is undeniable that he has been forcing himself to do things that humans cannot do... When he can't continue When the demands of this inner drive are met, he falls into deep anxiety, fear, or depression.So when our reason cannot control ourselves, we need to discover and understand this inner self.Only by understanding and letting go of the inner drive that controls us can we truly free ourselves from symptoms.

stimulus event
Depressive episodes sometimes occur under some serious and stimulating events, such as lovelorn, failure, and the departure of loved ones.Sometimes, some small things that most people seem to be insignificant can easily become the fuse of depression, such as nervous speech, failure in exams, being criticized, being underestimated, etc.

On the surface, we may think that the patient's psychological quality is poor, or the ability to resist setbacks is too low, but when we really understand a person's life beliefs and inner driving forces, we will find the significance of these things to him, Only then can we discover that the "little thing" in our eyes is a "big thing" in the eyes of patients.So in essence, a depressed person is not overwhelmed by the irritating events in his life, but by what they mean to him.Therefore, the stimulating event is only a trigger, which will "press" the "fragile" places in our hearts.When we blame some past events for our depression, we need to reflect on why "this stone" stumbled us instead of others, what responsibility do we need to bear, and what problems do we have?
social culture
There are some mainstream value standards and codes of conduct in every society. Once individuals exceed the expectations of society and culture, they will be under tremendous pressure.Therefore, social and cultural factors will also become a source of pressure for a person. For example, modern society requires men to be independent and successful, and women are required to be slim and well-educated, and whether they can earn money has become a sign of a person's success.When individuals do not meet these expectations, they will feel anxious about being rejected or belittled by others.

Even so, we can still see that some people are not completely subject to social and cultural pressures.For example, when a person devotes himself to a career he likes, even if he earns little money, he is willing to be poor; even if a girl is not in good shape, she can still live happily.There are also examples of the opposite around us. Even if a person has made enough money, he still lacks a sense of security; even if a girl is beautiful enough, she always feels that she is not beautiful enough.From this, we will find that although social culture restricts us, it does not determine us. It is still our "heart" that really determines us.

When some people hold on to wrong values, it is easy to find reasons and evidence to support themselves in the social culture.For example, some girls take plastic surgery or lose weight in order to be more beautiful, regardless of the risks, and think that this is just to meet the social and cultural requirements for her.In fact, she is just using social culture to escort her "pursuit".

how to treat depression
In a state of depression, although patients also try to find ways to help themselves get rid of depression, but because these methods lack certain pertinence and systematicness, they are likely to end in failure.Therefore, to treat depression, one must understand depression and find the "true culprit" behind depression in order to truly get out of depression.If we lack an understanding of ourselves and our depression, we won't be able to hit "depression" at its core, we'll just make random moves.

At present, there are various theories of psychotherapy, which can be roughly divided into cognitive-behavioral therapy for symptoms and psychodynamics for analyzing the reasons behind the symptoms.This book will use these two theories to analyze the causes and countermeasures of depression.Cognitive-behavioral therapy can effectively alleviate the symptoms of depression, but it lacks systematic analysis, so this book defines it as: initial treatment.The direction of psychodynamic therapy will look at the essence through symptoms, so that people can understand themselves better, understand the causes of symptoms and the dynamic system behind them, so this book defines it as: in-depth analysis.

We have mentioned above that human behavior and thinking are interrelated, and human thinking and emotions are also inseparable.Although we can't accurately find out the real reason for our depression at the beginning, we can affect our thinking through behavioral changes; we can improve our mood through thinking changes.For example, when you are depressed, your brain tells you no and advises you to give up, but our actions do not necessarily follow this command. If we follow this command, we will sink deeper into the abyss of depression and make this "" I can't" thinking is more deeply rooted.If you want to make friends, no matter how your brain tells you no and persuades you to give up, then you must be brave enough to do what you want to do in action. Only in this way can you slowly discover the mistakes of this thinking.Of course, we can also change this distorted way of thinking by discovering the irrationality of this kind of thinking.For example, when we fail, it is easy to come to the judgment that we are an incompetent human being.Under the influence of this kind of thinking, we lose the courage to make further efforts. At this time, our thinking actually makes the mistake of "overgeneralization". After all, one or several failures does not mean that you are a failure .When our emotions become more positive due to changes in behavior and thinking, instead of lifeless, we will have the energy and motivation to further analyze the underlying causes of our depression, so as to better understand and improve ourselves, and prevent depression from recurring .

The so-called deep treatment is to find the reason behind the symptoms, that is, to find the driving force behind the symptoms.If the driving system behind this is not resolved, the symptoms will not disappear, and even if they disappear, they can be easily changed.One day you may be dissatisfied with yourself because of your shortcomings, tomorrow you may be angry about your failures, and the next day you may be nervous because you care too much about other people's opinions... Initial and intensive treatment of depression can successfully get rid of depression and can effectively prevent relapse.But without tenacity and the spirit of never giving up, no matter how good the method is, it will not achieve the desired effect.Because the typical symptom of depression is a sense of hopelessness, and this sense of hopelessness will make us see no hope, and it is difficult to have the motivation to persevere.There are also some patients who lack the motivation, courage and will to change, and cannot bear the pain and hardship that must be endured in the treatment, so they give up before success, or just wait and see without doing their best, and do not face their fears.This has become an important reason why many depressed patients cannot be cured.

So when you start reading this book, or take corresponding professional treatment, you must ask yourself whether you have determination, perseverance and a responsible attitude towards yourself.If you don't have the determination to act bravely, then maybe this book isn't for you.If you are responsible for yourself and really want to get out of depression, I believe this book will help you.Of course, a self-help book cannot replace professional treatment, but for most people, starting with this book, they can gradually learn to analyze and understand themselves, find the crux of depression, and stick to effective methods. Can effectively relieve depression.Alright, let's start the journey of finding our true self!
(End of this chapter)