Out of Depression: A Depressed Patient's Successful Self-Help

Chapter 14 Primary treatment of depression (3)
initial treatment
treatment life
In a depressed state, patients often lack motivation to act, are no longer interested in things they were interested in before, and avoid social interaction and life.Depression changes our life pattern, and this pathological pattern of life strengthens depression itself, so to break this vicious circle, we need to change the pathological pattern of life first.Depression tells you no, and advises you to give up, but you should not believe what your brain tells you when you are depressed, but go against the current.Even if you are afraid to interact with people and face life, you must have the courage to face what you are afraid of and what you are avoiding.Of course, doing this doesn't mean that happiness will come as expected, but it is the first step in rebuilding your life and treating depression.Many problems will be exposed when you start working, dating, and enriching your life, and this is the best time to solve them.Some patients will ask rhetorically: "Isn't I just devoting myself to life before suffering from depression? It is precisely because of depression that I cannot devote myself, so I choose to escape, and now I am re-entering life again, isn't it asking for trouble?" Sometimes you may have been caught in some kind of mistake and misunderstanding, and it is precisely because of the existence of this misunderstanding that you can't find the way out.But this "journey" will be very different, because this book will explain to you in detail the obstacles, misunderstandings and solutions that you may encounter in the process of moving forward.Don't defeat yourself before you start, give yourself another chance, although you have despair and fear of depression, but don't despair of yourself, don't despair of the future, because success comes from persistence in despair.

Many people will say before starting: "This is too difficult! I can't do it, I don't have the confidence." Some people take confidence too seriously, as if something can only be done with confidence.As everyone knows, confidence needs to be cultivated, just like we learned to speak and walk when we were young.We don't talk and walk only when we have confidence. This kind of confidence is slowly developed through constant tempering. We know what is right in failure.Only by daring to fail can we have the courage to move forward, and only by daring to fail can we gradually develop confidence in ourselves.When starting to do something, allow yourself to fail, allow yourself to fail.If we hold the belief that we must succeed and cannot fail, many times we will not have the courage to start, because the fear of failure has already defeated us.Act now!Don't expect confidence from the start, find your confidence in action, not in waiting.

Depression not only thwarts our positive evaluation of ourselves, but also makes us lose our confidence in interacting with others and our courage to face life and the future.So, we have to stand up from where we failed.

Are you avoiding contact with friends?
Have you given up on your old hobby?
Are you afraid to face work and life?

Are you afraid to fall in love?
Are you too dependent on your family?
Do you often close yourself off?

Are you too hopeless to try even something that means something to you?
Do you ignore the people and things around you because of your bad mood?

……

If you answered yes to one or more of the questions above, then this is where you need to work harder, and this is where you stumble.Start working hard where you can, regardless of whether you will succeed or not.For you who are in depression, daring to try is a kind of success, and a small step forward is a huge progress.So don't deny yourself because of how small your progress is, but encourage yourself because of your efforts.Perhaps, the "failure" in the past came from the fact that you were not good at affirming your small progress and underestimated your efforts and achievements.In the past, I just defined interpersonal success too much as whether I was lively, cheerful, and able to speak freely.When I didn’t meet the standard I expected in my heart, I would deny myself, feel that I was not good enough, and think that others would not accept and like me as a dull person.But later, when I no longer denied myself because of my performance, but encouraged and affirmed myself because I no longer hid myself and dared to go out, I realized that real interpersonal communication and real feelings do not depend on your performance. To get "aura" depends on you, your "heart".

When we're depressed, it's easier to focus on what we're not doing well and where we're failing.And where we do well, our efforts become insignificant in our own eyes.Of course, we can't tell from the beginning when we start to deny ourselves and ignore our strengths again, but we can always put our self-evaluation aside.Even if you see yourself as a loser, a wretch, an unlovable person, a cloud, none of that matters, what matters is your actions, your efforts.In many cases, it is because you credulously believe in your self-evaluation when you are depressed that you lose the motivation and courage to move forward.So you have to convince another part of your brain that I can get things done little by little.

how do we do

What does it mean to start living and change your life by facing your fears?To put it simply, it is to face what you are avoiding and face what you are afraid of, instead of finding a sense of security in evasion.Of course, sometimes we become more jittery when confronted with the life we ​​are avoiding.But when will you learn to swim without jumping into the water?Enduring pain is sometimes the key to successful treatment. If you can't bear a little bit of pain and anxiety, you won't have the strength and courage to persist until the moment you overcome depression.

Facing it is the first step in treating depression, but not the last.In the process of suffering, we can slowly understand the undiscovered self, so that we can truly understand depression and pave the way for later treatment.Some patients have even lost this most basic courage. They shut themselves at home all day long, afraid to go out or contact others.If you don't encourage yourself to face life, then no amount of treatment will work for such a person, because he has not taken responsibility for his own life.

Sometimes being depressed is a natural response to a dull life, so enriching your life can also have positive implications for emotional regulation.Some patients fell into a self-enclosed state, because of fear, so he dared not go out of the house, and passed the time on the Internet or sleeping all day long; there were also some patients who seemed to live a normal life, but their lives were not only working or studying. There are no other parts.If you're stuck in a closed or semi-closed life, working to come out of hiding, to open up and establish a new pattern of living, and to let fresh air into your life is an important step in overcoming depression.

Finding Happiness Happiness comes from doing, not waiting.We have to do things that are likely to bring us happiness, and even if we get so little happiness to begin with, it is better than doing nothing.

Therefore, we must learn to ask ourselves every day: Did I do something that made me happy today?
Although the unhappy things every day have not decreased, we can always do something for ourselves.People should live for the present, don't be depressed for tomorrow!
In depression, we pay great attention to our emotional state, because the leading symptom of depression is "lack of joy."In fact, emotions are a spontaneous process that cannot be controlled by humans. If we expect too much to be happy, this excessive expectation will also become a burden for us.Just like sleep, when we worry about insomnia, this worry will affect the quality of sleep itself to a certain extent.The same is true for happiness. Happy people don't think about whether they are happy all day long, so even if you lack happiness, don't focus on emotions. Focusing on emotions themselves will become part of the problem and will not help the treatment of depression.

Happiness and happiness come from "devotion". When we devote ourselves to love, work, and creation, happiness will come naturally.When we pay too much attention to our inner world and ignore the outer world, happiness will leave us.It's like a farmer's happiness comes from the crops. When the crops he sowed so hard grow slowly, he will naturally be happy.But if his crops are full of weeds, and he thinks hard all day "am I a competent farmer", I believe it will be difficult for him to find his own happiness.If you ignore friends, love, work, studies, and hobbies because of unhappiness, then unhappiness is like a swamp, sinking you deeper and deeper, and this is exactly what you have given up to bring yourself happiness. possible.

Physical activity A series of psychological studies have shown that physical activity, especially jogging, has antidepressant effects.In the treatment of depression, regular running has become an integral part of the treatment plan, and physical activity has positive effects not only on the body, but also on the mind. "Regular exercise can fully relax the muscles, make breathing normal, benefit the body's blood circulation, thereby reducing the tension of the nervous system, and also promote the accelerated release of opioids and parasitic substances, which are effective for anti-depression and emotional stimulation. Benefits and pain reduction with no side effects,” writes psychology professor and psychotherapist Reinhard Tausch.Like many, he firmly believes that running and exercising can be therapeutic for people with depression.

The key to sports is to persevere, not to pursue good results.In order not to give up in frustration after trying once, it is best to be fully prepared for difficulties in advance.Some patients take long-distance running too much as a means of treating depression (of course I did the same at the beginning), so they ask me: "How long will it take?"If you really don't like running, other sports are also feasible. As long as the exercise makes you sweat, as long as you can persist, it will improve your mood. "Life lies in exercise". Of course, the longer you persist in exercise, the better. It is best to become a part of life, not just a means of regulating emotions.

Learning to relax Depression can bring physical tension, and each person's body is tense in different parts.Of course, most of the physical tension comes from mental tension. When the mental tension is reduced, the physical tension will be naturally relieved.But there are always benefits to learning how to relax your body, especially when you're tense.

One of the relaxation methods: relaxation while walking
Stand up straight, but not stiff.

As you walk, focus on your breath.

Breathe slowly and deeply, but don't overdo it.

As you exhale, focus on relaxing.

Pay attention to how your body feels, relax any part that feels tense, let your body become heavy and relaxed.How does your shoulder feel, tense?If tense, let your arms hang down and experience the heaviness.How does the rest of your body feel, like your neck or forehead?

Consciously relax your body.

Learn to take care of your body and understand how it feels when you are stressed, and it will work.

Relaxation Method [-]: Meditation Relaxation
Choose a sentence, a concept, a prayer, as your meditative formula.

Choose a comfortable position and sit quietly.

Close your eyes.

Muscles relax.

Breathe slowly and naturally, saying the mantra of your choice silently as you exhale.

If your mind wanders, try to get back to the mantra.

Do this exercise at least once a day.

The third method of relaxation: breathing relaxation method
Sit comfortably in a chair, or lie on your bed, and focus on your exhalation and inhalation, paying attention to the rhythm.

Slowly inhale the air into the lungs (feel the air go down to the diaphragm), let the air stay in the lungs for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly.

Breathe in and out rhythmically, count slowly, inhale (one, two, three, four), hold (one, two), exhale (one, two, three, four).

If you find a rhythm that is comfortable for you, focus on "inhaling" and "exhaling" and silently say "in-exhale, in-exhale, in-exhale" in the same rhythm.

Don't feel burdened, take slow, rhythmic deep breaths, and try to keep it as relaxed and comfortable as possible.As soon as you feel pleasure, tell yourself that you are working to slow down your body rhythms in order to gradually achieve a state of relaxation.With each exhalation, say "relax" in your head -- or if you prefer, you can say "quiet."Imagine that your body begins to relax with each exhalation.You breathe out the tension and it starts to feel warm and relaxed.

Relaxation method [-]: let nature take its course

Sometimes, tension is caused by "concern". Maybe you are too worried about your performance and other people's opinions when you are nervous, so you are so worried about tension.Therefore, you can also use a "go with the flow" attitude of "doing nothing" when dealing with tension, which is also a good choice.After all, sometimes "problems exist because they are solved," and so is tension, which in itself intensifies the level of tension by focusing too much on the feeling of tension.

Mental tension plays an important role in physical tension. Understanding the reasons for your mental tension is of great significance for solving physical tension problems, such as worrying about what others will think of you when you are nervous and anxious.This kind of thinking that cares too much about other people's opinions is more likely to strengthen the tension and anxiety itself.The following will explain in detail how to reduce mental stress.

The ABC Theory of Emotions
Emotions come from the angle we look at things. Different angles of looking at things will produce different emotional reactions.Know how you see things to understand your emotions.

For example, it is also lovelorn, some people think: it just means that we are not suitable, besides, there is no grass anywhere in the world, although losing love is painful, it is not the end of the world.Although the behavior and mood of this person are also affected by the lovelorn, they will not be depressed or depressed because of it.And if the other person thinks: falling out of love means that I am unlovable and a failure, I will never be able to find someone I like, and I am doomed not to have an intimate relationship.If lovelorn meant this to him, then it would be a disaster for him.

Many times we are not troubled by "things", but by our attitude towards "things".If we can change the attitudes and beliefs that affect our emotions and behavior, we can improve our emotional state to a certain extent.

Ellis, the founder of the ABC theory of emotions, believes that it is precisely because of irrational beliefs that we have emotional distress.Over time, these irrational beliefs can also cause emotional disturbances.In the ABC theory of emotions, A represents the inducing event; B represents the individual's beliefs about the inducing event, that is, the perception and explanation of the event; C represents the resulting emotional and behavioral results.

Usually people think that the triggering event A directly leads to the human emotion and behavior result C, and what happens will cause the corresponding emotional experience.However, if you are careful, you will find that the same thing often triggers different emotional reactions in people.For example, one person may feel a little sad after a bad fight with a friend, while another may become nervous or even fearful.In fact, the key to eliciting different reactions from people lies in B (thinking and belief).The first person may think that it is normal to have a dispute with a friend, and it will be fine after a while, so he will not take this matter to heart, it is just temporarily sad.Another person may think: quarrel with a friend, he will dislike me, and I will never find anyone who likes me again.So he can become jittery, even fearful.

(End of this chapter)