Out of Depression: A Depressed Patient's Successful Self-Help

Chapter 2 Recommendation Preface
why do birds sing
1
Rollo May wrote an important book called "The Meaning of Anxiety", which shows people that "anxiety" is not only painful, but also meaningful, which makes people reflect on their own existence.

Therefore, the author quotes Gilbert as saying: "The purpose of depression is to force you to stop and figure out who you are and where you are going. It requires you to position yourself, which is painful but the driving force for transformation."

Next, the author said: "When I fell into depression, I still couldn't understand this sentence well. When I came out of depression, I realized that if depression had never flowed through my life, I would never have known that I was Who, where will it go?"

2
There is a term in the West called "the healer who has been injured", which gives us a new understanding of psychotherapy.We have seen that some great psychotherapists have experienced deep psychological pain and struggle themselves. This experience is very important for them to change from patients to doctors.Reading Wang Yu's book, we found such a situation: Wang Yu wrote this book not only out of his experience in treatment, but first of all out of his own experience of illness.The author does not deny that he himself used to be a depression patient, and later grew up to be a depression healer.In him, he experienced the transformation from "injured person" to "healer". This transformation and integration enabled him to truly understand the pain of the depressed person, because he himself had suffered such pain, and also allowed him to become a A real guide to help clients get out of depression.

Of course, a patient does not necessarily become a therapist, but a therapist needs to have a self-experience of psychological pain and struggle.More importantly, the transformation from patient to therapist requires a deeper self-awareness.Without awareness, there can be no transformation.

Therefore, in the field of psychological counseling, there are also complex phenomena, all related to awareness.There are some consultants who have not experienced deep awareness themselves, and have internal "disease" obstacles, but externally assume the role of a healer.There are also some people who have a high reputation in the field of psychology, because they do not have deep awareness, even though they have many psychological theories, they do not understand psychological counseling.Even, over the years, I have received many clients who have psychological troubles, and they may understand psychology better than psychology professors. You don't have to be surprised when I say this.

There are some people who have experienced psychological pain and struggle themselves, are obsessed with psychology, and receive training in psychological counseling, and then do it in a down-to-earth manner, taking psychological counseling as their mission and the call of life.Such people really understand psychology, they are growing up, and they will become the best psychological counselors.

I would like to believe that Wang Yu is one of such people.

3
I am not very familiar with Wang Yu.But in the limited contact with him, I can see his uniqueness.I remember that Rollo May's disciple Mendelowitz once gave a lecture at the Nanjing Institute of Direct Psychological Counseling. He talked about a special experience of Rollo May's training students, which left a deep impression on me.When Rollo May lectured, he would pay attention to the students who sat in the corner and listened carefully, but did not talk much.When there is an opportunity, he will ask such students to come out to express some of their own ideas, and he finds that the ideas of these students are always extraordinary.In his view, such a person might make a better psychotherapist.

I have had several contacts with Wang Yu at the Nanjing Zhimian Psychological Counseling Institute, and Wang Yu occasionally comes to participate in some seminars held here.I found that he often sat in a corner, listening there, but didn't talk much.This reminds me of the Rollo May story.

4
In therapy, a consultant plays two roles at any time, one is the patient and the other is the doctor. The role of "patient" can connect with the visitor, enter into each other, and understand each other.The role of the healer can lead the client and help the client remove the covering and obstruction of symptoms.

I often say that the essence of life is growth, and the goal of growth is to become yourself.What psychological symptoms reflect is that a person has not found a way to become himself in life, and his growth process has been hindered, or even stagnated.Because I don't know who I am, I don't know how to be myself, and I don't have the courage to be myself. People with symptoms are what they don't want to be.When a person cannot be himself, what he sees is the injured self, because he cannot be himself, he even makes himself more hurt and more painful.

Therefore, in this book, we see a person, the author's own shadow, walking around in this world.Because he couldn't find the way to become himself, he almost didn't want to go on, he was going to die.But at the same time, he was also looking for a reason for himself not to die.And because he couldn't find it, he still wanted to die.But he was unwilling to do so, and still went to look for it.These pains and struggles, the world does not know.But all these changes happened at the moment when life was about to end, and when death was so close, I discovered what is the most important thing in life, not pain, not despair, but love!For love, willing to suffer; for love, dare to face despair.This is just as Nietzsche said: "If a person has a reason to live, he can bear any situation in life."

It turns out that this is a book full of existential and direct confrontation.

5
At the [-]nd International Conference on Existential Psychology just concluded in Shanghai, Erik Craig asked a question in his speech: "Why does a bird sing?" Then he gave the following Answer: "Because it has a song!"

When I read the book written by Wang Yu, I thought: This book is Wang Yu's song.Because of such an extraordinary life experience, he felt his mission from it.Writing it out and making it my own song is also so that more people can sing their own song.

Because of singing, the bird becomes itself.Because of writing his own book, Wang Yu has found himself, and will help many people find their true selves.

Wang Xuefu

Director of Nanjing Face-to-Face Psychological Counseling Institute

(End of this chapter)