Personal Charm Perfect Private Tutorial

Chapter 35 The Ultimate Application of Attraction (5)
These are the forces of attraction, and they work on millions of people every day.

Ideals and ambitions are also attractive, and they can be born out of the kinds of desires we discuss in the second part of this book, and if so, they can pull you down.They can only make you pay attention to the material life, and carry you through the humdrum life to the grave.But if they are born of great and noble desires, they will pull you upwards.It is not difficult to find high-level ideals and ambitions and companions with high levels.When you make friends or allies, don't look for self-defeating people, but for people who are motivated.

The spirit of initiative comes from the habit of looking forward and looking up.On the surface, this looks like a bizarre dream.But it's actually as practical as the spirit of self-improvement we discussed in the previous lesson.Let's go back to the workplace again and see what it can do.Young people choose their destiny by deciding whether or not to add attractive value to themselves.We next cite two short experiences that came to our attention many years ago.

A young man is promoted to the position of salesman.His employer gave him complete power to allow or deny credit to buyers and to cut prices first.Finding that the country was on the verge of a widespread business panic, he did not stick to the old rules like other salesmen, but boldly implemented new plans.He kept a record of all businesses and persons who wished to have credit with his employer, and employed the services of a commercial credit bureau for a commission of £20 a year, excluding general statements and occasional briefings.The young man asked them to give private reports against his employer's debtors, and asked for a monthly one, and paid them additionally if there were special needs.

As a result, he removed debtors on the brink of bankruptcy from credit lists, denied them further credit, collected receivables, and sealed their accounts.Less than a year later, a general economic panic hit the business of the country, and his employer had not lost a single shilling on bad debts.This young man took the initiative to investigate without anyone assigning him, and he didn't tell his employer what he was doing, but he was [-]% cautious from beginning to end.The employer sailed through the crisis with ease only to discover that the salesman had been doing a lot of tedious work for a long time.When the business returned to its former prosperity, he promptly promoted the clerk to his partner.

This is the spirit of initiative.

He was right to do it, but other salesmen wouldn't.He dared to set a precedent even though his employer did not think of it, nor ordered him to do so.

There is another example, which was brought to our attention many years ago, which reflects the same spirit.It was in a certain city where the shoe industry was a big part of the business.Many goat and kid ranches competed to supply shoe factories with their produce.There are a lot of goods piled up in the auction house, where buyers from shoe factories choose the goods according to the varieties and quantities they want.In order to meet the demanding requirements of buyers, goat skins and suede skins of various colors are piled there separately.They don't sell in bad years.

A young man has risen to the position of sales manager for one of these tanneries.Seeing the great loss of thousands of hides piled up and broken due to unstable demand, he carried out the following steps without informing his employers:
He first visited all the shoe manufacturers and recorded the information he got in his notebook, including the approximate annual leather quantity, type, grade, processing technology and other important details.Then visit these places every month to keep in touch with them.Coincidentally, a large part of the tanneries he visited were regular customers of his competitors, and they were reluctant to discuss cooperation with him.In view of their attitude, he introduced the grade, variety and processing technology of his products to these manufacturers, which all met the requirements of the shoe factory.Therefore, they found it difficult to find such a suitable product elsewhere, so they all bought it happily.

As a result of this scheme, his employer, instead of maintaining large, useless inventories, specialized in the kinds of shoes the factories needed.Not only that, but the company began to grow steadily and its profits became huge.The employer asked the salesman how he came up with this plan, which turned out to be a success.The salesman replied: "Business was very slow at the time, and there was nothing to do for a lot of time every day. So, I was able to sneak out and visit the offices of the buyers. I had to choose between doing this or doing nothing. And What strikes me the most is that we have to prepare many grades of goods to suit the needs of the trade. I think if we figure out what they want, we can satisfy them very well. I succeeded."

A few years ago, we asked many businessmen a common question, that is: how many real ideas can they come up with in the process of doing business.They admit that they have never considered such endeavors in the right light.But when we asked them, they came up with at least 500 creative ways to increase their profits.Some came up with one or two options, some more, and a few came up with as many as 50 different improvements.Once their brains start thinking in the right direction, huge improvements can be made immediately.

The fate and future of all employees are in their own hands, but initiative does not fall into this category.Employers probably see this clearly, as do professionals.The secret is all in getting your head straight and looking at the realities of the moment, and then going through them one by one to see if there is room for improvement.Some people possess the spirit of looking deeply into possible situations that others cannot see.Henry Clay Frick grew up to be Carnegie's most valuable assistant through his penetrating insight into the possibilities of new things, as he grew up in a very poor family. analyze.

Forming the habit of seeking solutions for improvement is an excellent discipline, and it is valuable both in family life and in self-improvement.Once it starts, it affects every aspect of daily life and has profound implications.It is attractive because it leads us to success.Unfortunately, millions of people have lost this awareness in their lives today because they are stagnant.And if they are actuated by this spirit, they may soon establish vigorous new hopes.

We've discussed many business matters in this lesson, but the first principle of attraction holds equal power and value for all relationships in life.The place where this kind of effort is most needed is the home, where there are so many little things, too much time for tediousness.The husband has little interest in the family, and the wife loses interest in family life with it.If one or both spouses have the initiative to generate attraction and start to recognize the need to create a warm atmosphere, wonderful improvements can be made in every corner of the home.At this time, you will find that the original home can also become a brand new world.

Lesson 56

Leaving room is always attractive
The study of human life is as endless as the activities of life.We now come to a completely different set of practices, perhaps articulated in a few simple words.Do everything with a certain amount of leeway, never go to extremes, or keep a certain amount of strength.On the contrary, it is to show off all the energy reserved or accumulated.If a person does not leave room for anything, then he is destined to be unattractive.

There are countless such examples, and we present a few of them.

When you stand up from the dinner table, if you are very full, you will definitely feel weaker than when you are not very full.No matter what physical work you do, if you use up the last of your strength, you will definitely feel weak.An inexperienced lawyer who puts all his energy into a courtroom speech quickly tires his audience.We once had the pleasure of studying the methods used by a prominent defense attorney to win his clients in court.His client faced an almost insurmountable objection in court, an objection backed up by forces so powerful they seemed irresistible.The lawyer seemed to pull out all the stops in his final speech, but he clearly had reservations.When he uses this part of the power, it seems to reach the limit again, but he can still exert new power afterward.In this way, round after round, he reached the peak of attraction, overwhelmed all opponents, and finally he won.He told us afterwards that he would never reach his limit because his strength kept growing.

Satisfaction of any kind is not only unattractive, but also destructive to the attraction already achieved.If a person's life is full of ambition, then he will have the passion to fight for victory.But once his ideals are all realized, his passion is gone.The wealth earned through struggle is so pale and weak, and the comfortable and easy life is completely unattractive.The happiest thing is the process of pursuing a goal, not the result of achieving that goal.

Leaving room is always charming.This rule always applies during the courtship stage and after marriage, and it will be fulfilled in multiple ways.Marriage is the greatest and most involved thing in the world.The so-called marriage proposal is a man trying every means to get the woman he likes to agree to marry him.Once this stage is actually reached, as long as the man has not won the winning medal, he shows extremely high value.On the other hand, there is also the general reality that when a woman chooses a man, he is above other ordinary men, but it will not always be as he knows it.She will induce him to have this or that desire, and then play a leading role in him.If he doesn't leave room in his drive to win, he'll lose his previous interest as soon as he realizes he's got his way.

There is an old philosophical saying, which warns women to keep a long enough distance from their suitors to avoid reaching the limit of each other's enthusiasm.If the relationship between the two reached its climax during the proposal stage before marriage, then they are likely to eventually part ways.What makes a man obsessed with a woman is his anxious state of mind, not his satisfaction.Following this principle, many women exhibit something similar to attractiveness that is not attractive, but attractiveness alone wins them good husbands.They give themselves unreservedly to a man, but he soon tires of it.If he had grown bored with her before marriage, he would have resolutely chosen to leave her afterwards.Women who can really attract men will not let their affection reach the limit.If she allowed a man to approach her before marriage, she might lose everything.

The satisfaction that comes with the expression of love, whether before or after marriage, dampens or annihilates lust.A man holding his girlfriend's hand too much can cause her to ask verbally or in a low voice, "Will he be upset if he doesn't do this in the future?" If she doesn't say it, she must be doing it. think.Too many kisses and hugs can satisfy both of you enough to stop desiring each other so much, so it's best to leave it a little leeway.After marriage, men will be sexually satisfied faster than women, which will destroy the attraction of love.It works faster than any other influence in life, and the man instantly becomes unattractive, looks selfish, lazy, pushy, worn out, and looks like a different person than he was.At that time, he had said that she was the loveliest woman in the world and that he could not live without her.And once he was satisfied, he seemed to be impatient with everything, and his mind was full of "don't touch me, I hate seeing you".This kind of contentment is the fuse of almost all quarrels in married life, and it creates conditions for men's distorted mentality.He felt that he could say whatever he wanted without scruple, that he could hurt his wife's feelings wantonly because she belonged to him, and that he could indulge his own nature, which was hidden under the halo of the proposal.

As long as the husband wants his wife by his side, the wife remains attractive to the husband.He could keep her attractive all his life, simply by learning not to let himself reach a breaking point of satisfaction.The obvious fact is that sexual gratification completely removes attractiveness from people.If a public speaker wants to conquer a large audience, but the above-mentioned situation happens on the eve of his speech, the result must be a dismal failure.In the same way, if a similar situation occurs in married life, the joy and strong love of husband and wife will no longer exist.

Desire is also attractive when there is a genuine exchange of value.The unattractive people in the world always want to push to the limit when things go wrong.If they like to dance, they will dance wildly until the dawn of the next day.Many women try to pursue a life of their own through their careers rather than trying to improve themselves.She gave full play to her vitality and kept compressing the night's rest time. As a result, she yawned and was completely absent from work in the following days.Many couples spend their evenings playing cards so much that they don't stop until the last moment.What they do not know is that reasonable diversions are much better than such orgies.

Leaving room can make a person very attractive, because its charm can arouse a strong interest in life.For example, a husband and wife are arguing over whether the total income should be controlled by the regular budget.According to the budget, it is necessary to keep the expenses lower than the income. Both of them know how much the family can earn at the end of each month, how much should be spent, and how much surplus there is.The purpose of the budget was to create a surplus between income and expenditure, and he found that some purchases were unnecessary, and she felt the same way.There is still room for such leeway in married life, and we take it for granted if the situation is before us.Married life would have had fewer misunderstandings and subsequent emotional discord if the husband and wife hadn't dug too closely into the family's financial situation.

A couple built a house they had planned a year before they got married.There are six rooms in the house. There is a small garden in front of the house and a slightly larger garden in the back.Every year they plant something in the garden.The six neat and bright small rooms in the house are very attractive.As her husband's business became more and more prosperous, the debts he owed when building the house became less and less, and they were all paid off soon.Now, they have invested a considerable amount of money in bonds and mortgages.They went through a period of hard work and frugality in the early days of their marriage, during which the wife gave as much as the husband.The two were steadfast in keeping some savings, which made the later success a reality.After their daughters get married, they follow the same balance policy as their husbands.They did not squander the money they earned easily, but kept a certain amount of savings for future happiness.

Such situations are not uncommon.With the deepening of attraction learning, more and more people implement this strategy.Marriages that have been influenced by our thinking about leaving things to chance seem strong and enduring.The result of this is the stability of the family and the lasting happiness of each other.As lovers tell the truth, as we have explained in previous lessons, countless mistakes that would otherwise make life unhappy are avoided, and what may and is bound to happen in the future is clear. up.

(End of this chapter)