The little wife of the demon president

Chapter 902 One thought of life and death
He didn't urge me anymore, I sat on the toilet and looked at myself in the mirror, so stupid, so confused, so thin.

You all say that Lin Xia dotes on me, loves me, and protects me. I am lucky to be with him, and I think I will have a good life.

But like this, I can't always be happy.

But if you ask me, I will not regret doing this in the future. Back then, I am afraid I will choose this way again.

Went out to wipe my hair with a towel, Lin Xia gave me a glass of warm water: "Drink some, do you need some sleeping pills?"

"No, it's almost six o'clock now, and it will be dawn in a while."

I didn't want to stay in the bedroom, so I went outside, found the cigarettes I had hidden, went to the balcony, opened the window of the balcony, and the gust of wind made me take a step back.

Light a cigarette, let the faint smell of tobacco fill the heart and lungs, put aside all the irritability, and look down condescendingly.

It's past five o'clock in Beijing, and the smell of fireworks has already begun. The sun hasn't come out yet, and it's gray and white, moist and with endless chill, and the green that reaches the eyes is now black and green.

If you jump down from here, maybe you won't cry for anyone, and you won't be sad for anyone, don't love anyone, don't hate anyone.

A voice urged me: Jump down, jump down, Mo Qianxun, you are in such pain now, do you live to be in pain all the time?
Another voice said again: It's ridiculous, dare to die, why not dare, those who seek death are cowardly, people look down on them alive, and even more look down upon after death.

I shook my head to wake myself up a little more.

The orange lights can't illuminate the wet and cold March.

The wind was too strong, and the cigarette was blown to the bottom after only a few puffs. I watched quietly, the cigarette butt burned up slowly, the burning between my fingers became more and more serious, and the pain began to slowly fade away. Infected with consciousness.

It's good to be in this pain.

Lin Xia didn't sleep, but she didn't come out, nor did she call me.Throwing the hot cigarette butts on the ground, the smoke rings spit out to make the wind blow badly.

Xiaobei is like a cigarette, he can't quit no matter what.

I don't want to hurt Lin Xia, but I think that sooner or later, I will hurt him severely, even if I don't want to.

Now it seems to be in a dead end, I can't get out, I can only look up at the sky, floods are coming from all directions, there is no way to escape, and I can't breathe.

I don't know what to do, I don't know, I don't know.

"Chihiro, come in, it's windy there."

Lin Xia finally called me, and I went in with a sigh.

He closed the window, leaving only a small gap to let in the wind: "Go and have breakfast."

It seemed that I didn't want to wait for He's mother to come up to make breakfast, so I just followed him down in my cotton pajamas, and he drove me through the cold morning of the city.

The traffic lights are constantly turning, and the sanitation workers who get up early are cleaning the road. The city is quiet, but everything is still going on like this, and it is so orderly every day.

Those who deliver newspapers, those who clean, those who sell breakfast, those who sell vegetables, those who deliver flowers, no matter what time of day, Beijing will never be lonely.

There was already a smell of bread in the bakery, and the lights gradually became brighter and brighter, but the sky was getting brighter and brighter, making it look extremely gloomy.

Familiar roads, familiar shops, there are no skyscrapers in this place, there is not a lot of traffic, there are not as many cleaners here as there are in the city center, and shredded paper and fallen leaves are all visible.

Lin Xia stopped the car slowly, it was a newly opened breakfast restaurant.

I used to eat breakfast here. It tastes good, and it’s cheap and plentiful. You can even save some Chinese food by eating a bowl.

I followed him in, and the simple table had traces of time, but the fragrance was still so familiar.

"Miss Mo, I haven't seen you for a long time. It's rare to try our Guilin rice noodles again."

I didn't say a word, Lin Xia said, "A bowl of plain rice noodles."

"All right, Mr. Lin."

He and them are not strangers. As I expected, Lin Xia has never been indifferent to me. He always watches from afar, but he knows everything about me.

If I hadn't fallen in love with Ji Xiaobei, maybe he would have nothing to do with me.

Guilin rice noodles were brought up. The round rice noodles were crystal clear and white, and the soup was tempting. He dug a spoonful of chili and put it down: "Eat it."

I picked it up and spooned the soup to drink, it was so spicy.

All the tastes are the same as before, eating it is like going back to the past, how bitter it was back then, Lin never thought of giving up.

After eating a large bowl upside down, he stared blankly at the empty bowl.

He put the money on the table and pulled me out.

On the way back, it was no longer so empty and there were more cars.

Life is like this, busy and busy, just like this, and I don’t even know why I am so busy and why I live.

But life is so precious, once lost, it will never come back.Dad left, and it was my mother and I who were heartbroken, and my mother left, and it was me who was heartbroken.

If I leave, I know that Lin Xia will definitely feel sad for me, but it's not what I want.Life is always like this, leave and return to dust, don't know anything, only the living are in pain.

The change of the traffic light, that is, such a few minutes, if it is a minute earlier, or a second earlier, it may disappear at the intersection of the road.

The difference between life and death is just a thought.

I close my eyes, what is love, love wants to live, hate wants to die.

Because of his absence, do I want to give up my own life? Then what is the suffering I have suffered?
Close your eyes and squeeze and squeeze with your hands.

It's not too early when I get home, change clothes, and put on a little sun cream to make my complexion look better.

I took the book and went to school as usual, listening to the explanation, but I knew I couldn't listen to a word

Could it be that he will also become my past wound, it will be very painful at first, but it will get better after a long time.

Maybe, what is needed is time to slowly make up for the wounds in my heart.

Lin Xia was relieved by my quietness, and would not look at me everywhere, during class, after class, eating, and sleeping.

Ji Zhixian called me when she came back, and I said to Lin Xia: "Lin Xia, Zhixian will fly to Beijing at three o'clock tomorrow afternoon."

He said softly, "OK, I'll take you there tomorrow."

"Okay." Responded.

Take a bath, go to bed, even if you haven't slept in the middle of the night, you can't fall asleep during the day, and you are in good spirits.

He saw it in his eyes, felt pain in his heart, and thought of ways to let He Ma make all kinds of things I like to eat, but I only took one bite, and I didn't think about eating or drinking.

I didn't go to class in the afternoon, so he asked me to take a nap and wake me up at two o'clock.

(End of this chapter)