Meet you in the most beautiful years

Chapter 25 For love, to fulfill love (2)
In July 1937, she arrived in Shanghai from Nanjing, and set off for France again from the Huangpu River Wharf.This year, she was 7 years old, and Zanhua was over fifty years old.The midsummer river wind blew by, and she and Zanhua once again let the river witness the sad parting like they did nine years ago.

It has been nine years, and even though they have tasted all kinds of tastes in life, the once bright and fierce emotions have also turned into the ordinary warmth of staying together, but the more plain and simple, the more difficult it is to let go of each other's lives.They can't predict when they will meet again after this farewell, they only know that the world is difficult, the current situation is unpredictable, and everything in the future is as vague as the end of the sky.

He took out the German pocket watch that never left his body, and solemnly handed it to her.It was a precious souvenir given to him by Cai E when he followed Cai E's National Guard Army against Yuan Shikai 20 years ago.Pan Yuliang knew that what this pocket watch meant to him was life, belief, and now, it was also a heavy love.

Can't help but cry, can't help being sad.She still kept the necklace with the photos of the two of them intact, and now, a new parting commemoration will accompany her in the torment of countless lonely days.

Sending you off for a farewell will never end, only to see the shadow of the river.She was just leaving temporarily - she had been away for seven years, didn't she still go home?Dreams are the flowers of the other shore, and family affection is the root of this shore. No matter how long she leaves, she will just go and go back.

However, after the siren blew and the ship left the shore, the moment by the Huangpu River in 1937 became the last companionship of their lives.In the next 40 years, the red and green faded day after day, and it was submerged in the world of mortals.Missing is like an invisible thread, which is persistently tied by two people on the other side of the ocean.From childhood to Haoshou, from the encounter in Jiangcheng to the end of the world, it is like a dream, like a phantom, like a painting in her pen, flowing with warm and lonely affection.

He waved his hand to the figure on the other side, and said softly: Brother Zanhua, take care!

Lovesickness begins to feel that the sea is not deep
In November 1937, the National Government moved to Chongqing, and Pan Zanhua also left Nanjing for Chongqing.In the second year, the National Government of Chongqing disbanded the Ministry of Industry. At that time, the war caused a large number of exiled students to gather in Chongqing. Pan Zanhua left his job and switched to education. He served as Chief of General Affairs, and has been engaged in education for many years since then.

The Anti-Japanese War broke out in an all-round way, and the country was in dire straits.After the fall of Nanjing, Pan Yuliang, who was far away in France, lost contact with Pan Zanhua.She hangs her heart all day long and struggles through the day in worry. In 1938, she participated in the French "Salon" painting exhibition, and inscribed the following two lines of poems on a self-portrait: the frontier fortress and the gorge river are in the middle of the night, and the Yangtze River is in the heart of thousands of miles.

For her, it was a blessing or a misfortune to leave the motherland, which was full of disasters.Perhaps from an artistic point of view, the decades from the Anti-Japanese War to the Cultural Revolution were a lucky escape; but for a heart that misses its hometown and relatives, it was a kind of endless torment.

At that time in France, life was poor but lived with dignity.She lived in the home of the landlady she had known when she first came to France. After Paris fell, she moved to the small town of Montparnasse in the suburbs. In a small house on the top floor with glass walls on all sides, she painted Sculpture, reclusive.Sometimes, she would go to a nearby university to paint, or go to the countryside to sketch.It seems that life is for painting, and painting is her whole life.

A female painter, far away from home, alone in a foreign country, except for a pair of hands full of artistic spirituality, has nothing long on her body, and her life cannot be separated from poverty and embarrassment.She lives by selling paintings, but she is unwilling to sign a contract with a gallery.In the eyes of foreigners, she is a stubborn and unbelievable oriental woman: living in poverty, but not staying in a gallery; alone, but not in love; wandering in a foreign land, but not a foreign nationality.Her stubbornness and persistence may be too different and selfish, so she is ridiculed as a "three no woman" in good faith.

She has a divine respect for art.She is unwilling to succumb to the persecution of life, cater to the commercial interests of galleries, and degrade free and spiritual art into commodities, so she would rather be poor than maintain a peaceful and free creative state.

For many years in France she was alone, alone.No matter how lonely and down-and-out, she is not willing to easily find another shoulder to lean on.The emotional corner in her heart was filled with longing, and there was no gap.

Both she and Zanhua are not very expressive. They used to exchange letters with only ordinary greetings and simple concerns.Indeed, their youthful years have passed away, and the years can't spare the black-haired, red-faced and elegant teenagers, nor can they spare the poetic feelings that once cried and laughed.Now, they have wrinkles on their foreheads and silver frost in their hair, but they are separated by vast oceans, life and death are uncertain, and news is blocked.

During France's toughest days, hunger and disease took turns.Later, a Chinese man named Wang Shouyi appeared beside her in time and gave her meticulous care.

Wang Shouyi is a native of Hebei. He came to France for a work-study program in 1920 and has been living in France ever since.When I met Pan Yuliang, he already owned a Chinese restaurant called Oriental Restaurant on Rue Saint-Michel in Paris. He was a kind and loyal small businessman.Living in a foreign country, the two Chinese people naturally hit it off very well. Seeing that Pan Yuliang was in distress, Wang Shouyi, who was very sympathetic, helped him from time to time.

She has since had a faithful and reliable friend.He accompanied Pan Yuliang to Notre Dame Cathedral, the Louvre, and the Palace of Versailles to pay homage to the art treasures, accompanied her to sketch on the banks of the Seine and under the Eiffel Tower, negotiated painting contracts for her, and raised funds for her to hold art exhibitions everywhere.He became her support and warm arm.

It is easier for two lost and lonely hearts to get closer to each other.However, when Wang Shouyi confessed his love to her, Pan Yuliang politely rejected him.She believes that the war will end, and firmly believes that Zanhua must be alive and waiting for her to return home!
Wang Shouyi chose to understand and respect.In the following years, he was still Pan Yuliang's most trustworthy and reliable friend until her last years.

She was eager to see through, looking forward to news from home.I don't remember how many times, she put the pocket watch to her ear and listened to the sound of the second hand ticking away.When I close my eyes, I seem to be able to see the water of the Huangpu River, which is still flowing day and night; the cruise ships on the river are still coming and going day after day; the figure on the pier by the river is still gazing in her direction, It has never faded in her mind for more than ten years.

Zanhua, brother Zanhua!She used to call him over and over again in a dream, but he couldn't hear her call.The mighty, turbid river water and the cold and swift wind swallowed her voice.She waved her hands vigorously and shouted even louder, but he remained motionless, waiting lonely and sadly in the wind.

The days passed while waiting, and more than ten years passed in the rotation of the minute and second hands.In the past ten years, she has participated in many art exhibitions; she has held tour exhibitions in the United States, Britain, Italy, Greece and other countries; Silver Award" and other honors; works are collected by museums, colleges and other institutions.Her artistic talent and achievements have gradually reached the peak of her life with the growth of age.

Domestic news has been silent.Until 1952, she happened to read such news from the newspaper: "The Communist Party of China reuses artists, Xu Beihong is the president of the Central Academy of Fine Arts in Beijing, and Liu Haisu is the president of the East China Art College. Their personal exhibitions are organized by the official in Beijing, It was held in Shanghai with unprecedented grand occasion."

She was ecstatic, and quickly wrote to Liu Haisu to inquire about Zanhua.Finally, two months later, she received the first letter from Pan Zanhua in the 16 years since she went abroad.

At this time, Zanhua is already an old man who is nearly seventy years old. In 1943, he returned to his hometown Tongcheng from Chongqing and has been engaged in education work.After liberation, under the recommendation of Zhang Shizhao, curator of the Central Museum of Culture and History, he was appointed as a librarian of the Anhui Provincial Museum of Culture and History, and his family moved to live in Anqing.

She unfolded the letter with trembling hands, and every sentence in the familiar handwriting was an affectionate greeting.

Mrs. holds:

Fortunate to be able to see the swan geese in my lifetime, it is a great joy...

Tears blurred vision.It had been a long, long time since she had heard him call "Ma'am" again, but now, in different parts of the world, this call suddenly aroused countless grievances and sadness in her.

Recalling the farewell to Wusong in the past, separated by oceans, the two places are far apart, the feeling of longing is always lingering in dreams...

I have sent letters of greetings to Ru's old address many times, only to see the southern geese flying north, but not the northern geese returning south.Looking forward to the sky, looking forward to the wind and thinking about it, it has been ten or six years.I thought we would meet each other in this life, and I only sent it in my dream, but today I saw the letter, and the filaments were reconnected, and we will meet again in time.Yuliang, can I imagine this?
……

Brother Zanhua April [-], [-]
It seemed as if she had wings on her chest, and she wanted to fly back!Her roots are on the other side, and the threads that pull her are in Zanhua's hands. Now they are alive, calling her one after another, calling out her soul!

But at the moment she can't - several important contracts need to be completed, and several statues have been scheduled. In addition, before returning to China, she has to create another batch of works for the last art exhibition, and she wants to bring back the best results , to be worthy of these years of wandering.

She is still so inspirational and strong, she wants to bring back more greedily, and let the joy come more violently on the day she goes home!
In the reply letter to Zanhua, all kinds of thoughts turned into a poem:

It is difficult to think about the road, and there is a sound of wild geese in a foreign land.

Lu Cong is white tonight, and the moon is the hometown.

Living in the prosperous world, the heart is filled with the feelings of the country.

When he flies to his hometown, he will not be a host.

When he flies to his hometown, he will not be a host.In order for this day to come successfully, she is like a hardworking bee, busy painting, busy carving, busy participating in one exhibition after another, and competition after competition.Her luggage is getting heavier and heavier, but her letters of praise are getting rarer and rarer.

She had an uneasy presentiment that something must have happened.The year was 1957. Later, her premonition was confirmed. Liu Haisu was labeled as a rightist, and the "rectification and anti-rightist" movement was going on in the country, and the literary and art intellectual circles were in turmoil.She understands Zanhua's difficulties and can only temporarily shelve her dream of going home.

In 1958, the "Exhibition of Chinese Painter Mrs. Pan Yuliang's Art Works" was a success in Paris, and she couldn't wait to go home.She wrote to Zanhua, but his tone of reply was vague and cautious: "You have to go back to your country and see you again in your lifetime, and you will die without regret. However, considering that the current temperature is getting colder and winter is coming, it is not suitable for long-distance travel. You are nearly [-] years old, how can you bear the hardships of the journey! It is better to think about it in the coming spring."

In the spring of the following year, she won the Dolé Award from the University of Paris. She sent a photo of her with the mayor when receiving the award to Zanhua, and wrote small words on the back of the photo:

Received the Doyle Award from the University of Paris today. The department took a photo with the Mayor of Paris when the award was awarded.

Zanhua brother Huicun

Yuliang April [-], [-]

How much she wished that Zanhua could eagerly say: "Madam, you go home!" She would rush back to him like a docile girl eagerly... However, after this letter, she never Received a letter from him in person.

She was disappointed and sad, she thought that Zan Hua's desire for her to go back was not warm, or that he was too old to write, too old to even forget his thoughts.The world was wasted, and it was many years later that she learned that in the third month after she sent the photos, her Zanhua had passed away on the sickbed, and he spent his last time in thoughts.

In the following years, she became a silent old man, no longer mentioning going back to China, and no longer thinking about going home.Later, Mouer's continuous letters gradually ignited her desire to go home. After the establishment of diplomatic relations between China and France in 1964, when she decided to return to her roots, the "Cultural Revolution" began.

She finally failed to return to the land where she was born, and failed to relive the years she and Zanhua had gone through together. In 1977, Pan Yuliang, a legendary female painter, died in a foreign land with infinite regret.Before she died, she entrusted her dearest friend Wang Shouyi to fulfill three last wishes for her: the first one was to change her into a beautiful Chinese-style cheongsam for the coffin; the second one was to transport thousands of her paintings back to the motherland; The third is to hand over the tokens of love that she has always treasured—necklaces and pocket watches—to the descendants of the Pan family.

Now that these three last wishes have been fulfilled, she has exhausted her life's talents and lies in the Montparnasse Cemetery in Paris, France, as an artist.Perhaps in this world, no one will forget her original identity, but everyone will remember her last identity: Pan Yuliang, the soul of a generation of painters.

Fate is so mysterious and unpredictable. Fate arranged for Zanhua to meet her and be the noble person in her life, but he did not want to give her a lifetime of being together.

The front edge is not as difficult as it should be, and in time and space, there is a faint sigh: Brother Zanhua!

Remember?In a small town in the south of the Yangtze River, a brothel girl with a pipa in her arms sang the ancient song "Bu Suanzi" for a flourishing customs supervisor:
It's not love Fengchen, it seems to be mistaken by the front.Flowers bloom from time to time, always the monarch of Lai Dong.

You must go, and how to live!If the mountain flowers are full of heads, don't ask where the slaves go.

Writing their stories coincides with the Mid-Autumn Festival.In the middle of the night, after reading her "Tian Xin", I turned my head and saw a full moon hanging in the sky outside the window.The mountains, tree shadows in the distance, and the faint scent of sweet-scented osmanthus in the courtyard are full of mysterious tranquility.

The mountains, rivers, and rivers are all shrouded in moonlight. At this moment, this divine and solemn autumn night is full of tranquility, silence, and peace.Standing in front of the window, I looked at the moon for a long time, thinking about their short life and their fateful ice and snow friendship.There are several full moons and days in the world, and in their stories, there are mournful voices.

"Tianxin! Even though today I am standing on the great and solemn Temple of Heaven, clouds like colorful phoenixes are still hovering over my head, but in the past I was a rose flower intoxicated by the sun, but now I am just an ancient desolation. Beneath the desolate shrine crouched the moaning sick."

When writing this text, Gao Junyu has not disappeared from her life.At that time, she was standing in the Temple of Heaven, and the clouds floating high above her head were like clouds and brocades. The sunshine, breeze and the endless crowd of people passing by at that time constituted her time and space at that time.Life used to be so real, so real that you can see the ancient times and groan with pain. However, when all of this suddenly disappears and completely disappears, and you step on the path of broken words to recall their lives, you will still feel lost and bewildered in your heart. , will hurt finely.

I always feel that she is another Lin Daiyu. In order to repay his kindness in the previous life, she spent the rest of her life to water the grass in front of his tomb with endless tears; When he passed away at the age of 29, she was only 23 years old; three years later, she followed in his footsteps and went too.She would rather go across the boundary between life and death to find him than live in misery alone.At that time, in the world without him, living was more like death than death.

"On my birthday, I received the ivory ring you sent. Of course, I would also like to use the whiteness and solidity of ivory to commemorate our own life that is as quiet as a dry bone." What an ominous prophecy she said, but at that time she Accepted.Two supernatural ivory rings, carrying his affection, were worn on their hands.

Since then, they have never been separated.

She sat at the table, filled the pen with ink, and wrote on the reverse side of the red leaf stroke by stroke: The withered flower basket dare not bear this bright red leaf.

(End of this chapter)