Meet you in the most beautiful years

Chapter 27 Meeting the Right Person at the Wrong Time (2)
In the autumn of 1920, at the Shanxi Guild Hall outside Xuanwu Gate, some Shanxi people in Beijing held a fellowship meeting here.When Shi Pingmei arrived, a tall and straight young man wearing glasses was giving a passionate speech on democracy and freedom.Shi Pingmei was suddenly shocked by the sense of justice and romantic passion exuding from him.The high-spirited spirit of a young man made her feel the courage to innovate and the beauty of uprightness and strength.

Soon she learned the man's name.It turned out that he was Gao Junyu, a science student at Peking University and a native of Jingle, Shanxi.This name has appeared in her ears many times. The school once publicized the "May [-]th" student parade last year. Her fellow villager Gao Junyu, as the head of the North University Student Union, organized school strikes, led students to burn Zhao's building, and beat the traitor Zhang Zong. Xiang, how delightful!She is proud of having such a fellow from her hometown, and she secretly has a heart for him.

After the meeting, the people had dispersed, so she stayed here deliberately and introduced herself and her father Shi Ming to Gao Junyu. Gao Junyu told her very happily that Shi Ming was his teacher.

They happily recalled the customs and customs of their hometown, and exchanged many progressive ideas.After parting, Gao Junyu lent several copies of "New Youth" in his hand to the little fellow.

After parting, Shi Pingmei's experience of the township association was hard to calm down for a long time. Some new speeches and ideas about the times and changes opened a window in front of her. She felt excited and confused like never before. She suddenly felt that fate , is no longer just her personal destiny, future, and her personal future, they are all related to a grand theme of the times.

Thinking made her pay attention to the fate of the times, and she wrote various emotions in poetry and prose, and contributed articles to newspapers and periodicals. On December 1921, 12, Shi Pingmei's poem "Night Walk" was published in the first volume of the Shanxi University "New Republic" publication.Her literary journey began to set sail.

When I met Gao Junyu, the window of her youth was no longer just geese flying south, spring and autumn, some new voices, a wider sky, and a bigger world rushed in front of her like a sea tide.

But confusion and melancholy still linger in her heart.She understands that in the current situation, taking a revolutionary road that overturns the universe will undoubtedly put life at risk.So, with sorrow and concern, she wrote a letter to Gao Junyu.

Junyu:

After the hometown meeting broke up, I felt very sad, and the melancholy thread of melancholy perpetually disturbed my spring-like calm.I would rather the hammer of history always press down on the cowardly soul, pouring tears of misery from the bottle of pain.

I just feel that I live on earth, not for fame and money.I don't live actively, but I don't die negatively either.I just want to find some famous and prosperous business that I don't see in the desert in the garden where I am happy to live.It's a pity, I'm afraid it will be short-lived after all.

Your words and deeds are undoubtedly patriotic, and you are undoubtedly an admirable and passionate young man. I hope that we can often learn from each other.The few copies of "New Youth" that you lent me are very attractive and express the aspirations of today's youth.But these are obviously aimed directly at the Beiyang government, and they are undoubtedly dangerous.

I hope that you will not be exhausted with your adventurous career all day long. I only hope that you will cherish your health so that you will not be worried by your friends and come to see me at school when you have time.

评梅
It was this text message that Gao Junyu spent three years digesting and cherishing.Three years later, Shi Pingmei declined when he wrote a poem about love on red leaves. In his reply, he confessed that his longing for Pingmei began with this letter from her three years ago:
This may be a thing that has left the field of your memory, that is, a text message you sent me after we met for the first time in the fellowship.Although that letter was a usual inquiry, I felt a sense of ease that I had never felt before.Since then, I can't help but have the desire to know you.

——(Gao Junyu to Shi Pingmei)
Gao Junyu, this young man who was wandering and struggling for his ideals, was filled with steel will and passion at that time. When a girl appeared in front of him, she praised and affirmed him with empathy, and worried about his safety with her own care , His tough heart instantly softened.When the world of mortals meet in troubled times, she is his confidant and his bond.

However, after a long time after the hometown meeting, they no longer met each other.Because of the marriage his father arranged for him in the early years, he thought he was not qualified to disturb the pure heart of a young girl, so he restrained his emotions and only worked day and night in the revolutionary cause.

Admittedly, he was too busy.A whole new world is being quietly created by them.Compared with his children's affair, the cause he insists on is much greater and nobler.

Beginning in March 1920, under the guidance of Li Dazhao, after Gao Junyu and Deng Zhongxia jointly organized the Marxist Theory Research Association, Gao Junyu successively joined the Beijing Communist Group, participated in the preparation of the Beijing Socialist Youth League, and was elected as the secretary.

In July 1921, the Communist Party of China was established in Shanghai, and he was one of the original 7 party members.

In January 1922, as one of the representatives of the Communist Party of China, Gao Junyu went to Moscow to participate in the first congress of Communist parties and national revolutionary groups in the Far East held by the Communist International.

After returning to China, in May 1922, Gao Junyu went to Guangzhou to attend the First National Congress of the Chinese Socialist Youth League and was elected as a member of the Central Committee of the League. In July, he attended the Party's Second National Congress and was elected as a member of the Central Committee.

During this period of time, Shi Pingmei was not disappointed by Gao Junyu's busyness. In the sweet first love, she even forgot the existence of Gao Junyu.

traumatized first love

Wu Tianfang frequently dated her.

First love is always charming, besides, he is so gentle and considerate, and so handsome and outstanding.Therefore, she was content with it.

Her dusty heart has fallen into the abyss of happiness and ecstasy, which can make her cry as well as laugh.

She gave her heart to this man, and she believed that he would take good care of her. Although she kept her virginity, she knew that there was no way out for her heart.

However, it was only at this time that Wu Tianfang found a suitable opportunity to tell this woman who had fallen in love that he was the father of two children.

Like a thunderbolt from the blue, her happy sky suddenly turned gray.

Even though he begged her and said how much he loved her, he couldn't offset the huge void and pain in her heart.For three years, she came here while he was pursuing her, and he also hid the fact that she was a husband for three years.She tried to make excuses for him emotionally, but it turned out to be Rumang's irony.Her heart was originally lonely, sticking to her cleanliness and duty like a winter plum in ice and snow.She felt how ridiculous and pitiful she was.

She didn't want her fragility to become a trophy in his eyes, so she pretended to be calm and indifferent, dealing with him indifferently and politely, and even promised him that she would visit his wife at an appropriate time.

The New Year is coming, Shi Pingmei lives in the dormitory, and misses Shancheng's mother deeply.On New Year's Eve, she cried and wrote letters to her mother and poems to her father. She felt so cold and lonely, as if she had been abandoned by all embraces.

A heavy snowfall followed one after another, covering the city of Beijing.She hadn't seen Wu Tianfang for many days. She knew that before the annual leave, he had moved from the school's apartment to the newly rented house.

She got into a rickshaw and was pulled by the driver in the direction of his new home.Although she didn't want to admit it, in fact, she never let him go for a moment. His shadow was always entangled in her heart, causing her unbearable pain.She even hoped that it was a misunderstanding, his prank, a joke, and when he grabbed her shoulder and shook it, all of this would be over.

How clean are the snow-covered streets!The boundless whiteness, the white world like a fairy tale, but why is she so lost?She got off the rickshaw in a daze and came to Wu Tianfang's house.

This experience was later described in "The Ivory Ring", in which Lu Yin described the process of meeting Mrs. Wu in the way of Shi Pingmei's self-narration.

As soon as I stepped through the threshold, a young woman walked out from the screen door, followed by a five or six-year-old boy, with two bright eyes, looking at me.The young woman bowed to me and said, "Is this Miss Zhang? Please sit inside." At the same time, Wu introduced her to me, and I called "Mrs. Wu". ... She is a very docile and obedient woman. Although she looks ordinary, she still has a generous attitude. Naturally, she doesn't know my relationship with Wu, so she is very affectionate to me.As for me, I don't hate her, nor do I dislike her, but I have an indescribable sadness in my heart.Wu's eyes peeked at me from time to time, but I just pretended not to know.Presently she asked the maid to bring out two trays of sweets and vegetables, and she followed suit.She didn't seem to be very good at socializing with us, and she didn't have much to say to each other, so she had to mess around with the five-year-old boy. He also had a brother who was only two years old this year. The nanny took him out to play, so I never saw him.

After one o'clock, I left them and went back to school. When I sat alone by the desk, recalling today's meeting, I couldn't help sighing: "Poor Qinzhu, what is this?  … "

——(Lu Yin's "Ivory Ring")
She thought that there would be no relationship between them anymore, even if Wu Tianfang really loved her, now this love has hurt her; even if it was a deception, she has already seen through the deception.He should have no reason to pester him again, but she was wrong.

Wu Tianfang appeared in front of her again, more enthusiastic than before.He told Shi Pingmei that he wanted a divorce.She was very disturbed, but also a little moved. She thought that although it was against her original intention, he must have made such a decision because he loved her deeply.But she was wrong again.

After she left that day, Mrs. Wu heard some rumors, which confirmed that the visiting woman had an unusual relationship with her husband.She started to quarrel endlessly, and Wu Tianfang was so angry that he planned to divorce her and announced the news to Shi Pingmei. He wanted to prove himself, what kind of determination he made and how much he was willing to pay to be with her.

At this time, Shi Pingmei was no longer that innocent and ignorant girl. She was not as excited as Wu Tianfang expected, and she only said lightly: "Whether you want to divorce or not is your family business, and I don't care about it; our friendship can only last forever. This is the level now." Only by refusing can you catch that poor self-esteem and prevent it from slipping to the bottom of the cliff.

Disappointed, Wu Tianfang wrote her love poems one by one.For the past three years, Shi Pingmei has been so attached to him that he doesn't believe that she will suddenly be unfeeling. He is confident that one day, she will be moved by him and accept him again.

For Shi Pingmei, this is a painful torment.She wanted to get away from the turmoil and forget all the emotional torment, but she couldn't.She is a thoughtful woman, every trace of sadness can always make her teary and melancholy, so Lu Yin and Lu Jingqing always call her by Lin Daiyu's nickname and call her "Xiao'er".

She confides the anguish and sorrow in her heart to Gao Junyu in the letter. He is running to save mankind, so can he comfort and resolve her personal pain?
At this time, Gao Junyu was leading the Changxindian railway workers in the struggle against the warlords.Prior to this, he had been appointed as the editor and reporter of "Guide", a publication of the Party Central Committee. In February 1923, the Beijing-Han Railway workers went on strike. On February 2, the Zhili warlords brutally massacred the railway workers. Political Party" is the preface.

But no matter how busy he is, he never forgets to send Shi Pingmei his "Guide" and "Peking University Student Weekly" regularly; no matter how busy he is, he will find time to reply to Shi Pingmei's letters.

Comment on Mei:

The letter followed.Did you receive the brochure you sent?
The letter also mentioned that you have "unspeakable sorrow", which is probably a very common sentence that is pressed down by depressed young people!So I thought: the world makes people sad, and this world is about to be changed; so I am determined to take on the responsibility of changing the world.This is indeed a great and troublesome task, but otherwise, when will the sorrow end?I am determined to go my way, so I don't feel any urgency about the sorrow of my past.I believe that if the system is changed, the sorrows that young people enjoy in the present society will be avoided.So, I have to focus my thoughts and energy on the "transformation" I want to do!
I conclude that you are the groaner under the shackles of the world now! "Whose fault is this"? - Hypocritical society!Have we endured this life in sorrow?Or should we actively rise up and smash these shackles?They are all mourners. When they are disappointed by sorrow, they embark on the path of passiveness and non-resistance; when they are aroused by sorrow, they take on the cause of destroying the cause of sorrow, and they become strugglers. ——The journey of a thousand miles is judged on this point.Pingmei, are you still subdued by the god of fate?Or do you appeal to your own "force"?

May you believe: you are very powerful, and all dissatisfaction will be crushed by your own strength!In the past, it was easy for us to hesitate, but we have to rush forward to meet the culture of the future!

Junyu
Nov. 1923, 4

In Gao Junyu's letter, she felt fearless courage and strength again.At this time, she needs this power to save herself.Yes, as he said, she is "a groaner under the shackles of the current world" and a mourner in a hypocritical society. The sorrow Wu Tianfang gave him is the destruction of women's fate by the existing system. Marriage is like detention, let alone emotion. freedom and emancipation?

It should be said that no matter what, Gao Junyu's letter made Shi Pingmei's depressed heart gradually clear.Although it can't make up for the deep and long-lasting pain in her heart, talking and comforting is an outlet for her depressed soul. Here, she found temporary comfort.

If it was not Wu Tianfang who first appeared in front of her, but Gao Junyu, what would be her fate at this moment?But life cannot be reset. Unfortunately, she met the right person at the wrong time.

In the next two months, she was busy with graduation exams, returning to her hometown, and working on a new job.Although the relationship with Wu Tianfang has not been completely severed, in the face of his continued enthusiasm, he has been able to deal with it indifferently.But one day, she suddenly received a letter from Mrs. Wu.

This is a letter from a wife to a young woman whose family is facing disintegration because of her existence.This letter is not so much an accusation, but a tearful entreaty.

Ms. Qinzhu!We are all women, you must know the pain of an abandoned wife!If I didn't have those two children, I wouldn't argue with him and go to practice as a nun by myself.But now I clearly have these two children who don't understand. They need the comfort and upbringing of their mother. If he really abandons me, the children will naturally suffer. So I beg Ma'am, for the sake of my mother and child , to sever ties with Nianqiu, so that my husband and wife can reconcile as before, and the lady's kindness will be repaid in the next life.

——(Lu Yin's "Ivory Ring")
How embarrassing!On the day of receiving the letter, Shi Pingmei cried bitterly.She really wanted to say that she was also a victim. She never thought of hurting anyone. Came to this field?

She felt that it was necessary to make a thorough decision with Wu Tianfang.Although she had gotten used to his meticulous care in the past three years, all of this turned out to be a mistake.

The only remaining connection with Wu Tianfang is their letters and poems.For this reason, she specially wrote to Wu Tianfang, begging him to return all the texts in full, and solemnly proposed to break up.

Just think that everything in the past is like a beautiful dream of flowers falling into clear water, get together when you get together, and let go when you leave!

Only we can understand the mourning of the lonely goose, only we can understand the tragic song of the nightingale, and only you can understand me, and I can understand you.

(End of this chapter)