Meet you in the most beautiful years

Chapter 32 Love Returns to Tao Ranting (3)
At this moment, a Russian boy walked in. Perhaps he was moved by the parting love in front of him. He knelt down sincerely, kissed the back of Gao Junyu's hand, turned his head and looked at Shi Pingmei silently, and then whispered: "Miss , I wish him recovery." After speaking, he put on his hat and left the room.

After a while, the severe abdominal pain caused Gao Junyu to roll on the bed. Shi Pingmei was so anxious that she asked someone to bring a letter to Gao Junyu's brother while weeping.It was hard to wait for her younger brother to arrive. While they were telling about their illness, Shi Pingmei, who was exhausted, was sitting at the desk, casually browsing through the letters on his desk. Gao Junyu suddenly turned around and said to her:

"Beads! Really, I forgot to tell you. You can take them away, so you don't need to have to check them again."

This sentence is the last sentence Gao Junyu said to Shi Pingmei. He is saying goodbye to his dear Bowei!When Shi Pingmei really went to check his suicide note two days later, Fang Dameng woke up with a heartache.

He has always been considerate of Bo Wei, even when his life is about to end, he is also thinking about her, fearing that she will make another trip to collect his letters.This made Shi Pingmei think about it in the future, how can he not feel sad?
In the afternoon, Gao Junyu was sent to Xiehe Hospital by his younger brother.Shi Pingmei went to the school because the High School Affiliated to Normal University was going to hold a school meeting. She thought that it would not be too late to visit Gao Junyu after he settled down in the hospital.

In Xiehe Hospital, he was diagnosed with acute appendicitis by the doctor, and he had to be removed by laparotomy immediately.When the operation was signed, his younger brother happened to be away. Relatives and friends Lan Xin feared that his long-term sickness and weakness would not be able to bear it. Gao Junyu laughed at his timidity, and then signed the signature himself.

After the operation, Lansing asked if he should call Bo Wei to see him?Gao Junyu smiled and said, it's okay for her to come to see it, or not to come, so as not to be sad after seeing it.When Lansing called Shi Pingmei, he said that he was too tired and weak at this time, and suggested that she wait a day or two and see him when she got better.

This night, Shi Pingmei could not rest for a moment.Panic and fear for no reason swept over her like a tidal wave.

At this time, I suddenly wanted to see him enthusiastically, and when I saw him, I told him that I knew how to repent, and that as long as he could not die, I would sacrifice anything.Anxious like a wild horse, I can't seem to control it.In the dimness, I saw Tian Xin wearing a black suit, wearing a red bow tie, holding a plum blossom in his right hand, standing in front of me with a smile, I called his name and woke up, it turned out to be a dream.At this time, the night was already deep, and when I opened the curtain, I saw the moon shining on a prayer picture on the wall. I really want to go to the hospital to see how he is doing?
——(Shi Pingmei "Heartbroken Heartbroken Tears Turn into Ice")
However, at two o'clock that night, at the moment when she dreamed of Tian Xin, Tian Xin passed away forever.Did Miss Taiqie have a telepathic connection with him?Or he couldn't let go of his beloved Bo Wei, so he came to see her one last time before escaping into the invisible time and space?
At 12:30 noon the next day, Jingqing, who had never been to the High School Attached to Normal University, suddenly slammed open the door of Shi Pingmei's office. Xin, really gone!

While waiting to see Tian Xin's body in the hospital, accompanied by Lu Jingqing, Shi Pingmei went to Tian Xin's residence, and she really came to collect his belongings!The clothes he has worn, the objects he has used, the paper and pens on the table are still the same, but the people who have breathed, cried, laughed and laughed here have been separated from Yin and Yang.Seeing things and thinking about people, Shi Pingmei's heart is broken.

I opened his drawer, and the inside has been cleaned up. There are bunches of letters I sent him, and another one was written to me the night he fell ill, and the tone of the content is the tone of a suicide note.The power of this letter has created my life, a life of eternal repentance and mourning.After I read this letter, in addition to grief, I made up my mind to destroy the past. Only then can I dedicate my broken heart to Tian Xin who died of grief.

——(Shi Pingmei "Heartbroken Heartbroken Tears Turn into Ice")
Before leaving the hut, he sorted out the letters and waited for her to collect them.He did all this calmly, without resentment or injustice, even when he appeared in her dream, he had a gentle smile on his face.With deep love, he walked to the edge of life.Shi Pingmei later wrote: "Tian Xin often thought that as long as he left, my corrosive pain would disappear immediately." Perhaps he felt that only in this way could he be relieved of his Bo Wei.

When seeing him for the last time in the ice room, Shi Pingmei looked at him carefully, she knew that she would never see this dear person again in this life.At this moment, she didn't wail or even feel sad, she caressed his cold body and prayed silently.She saw that ivory ring, worn on the index finger of his left hand, was as pale as a dry bone, as white as fresh snow.

But thinking of what he once said, "I was born in solitude and died in solitude", Shi Pingmei felt pain in his heart.She confessed heartbreakingly: "Junyu! Junyu! I can't explain it until I die. Your tenderness was like water at that time, why couldn't you warm my heart like iron?" She fainted again and again, and woke up again and again.How wonderful it would be if all this was just a dream when he woke up!But every time she opened her eyes, the piercing whiteness was like a knife, which made her heart ache.

Under the Jinqiu Pier by the Taoranting Pavilion, this is the resting place he designated a few months ago. Now, this wooded mound finally embraces his master affectionately.

Around the cemetery, there are dozens of pines and cypresses planted by dear Bo Wei for him; on the tombstone, there are a few lines written in her affectionate handwriting:
I am the sword, I am the spark.

I would like life to be as bright as lightning, and I would like death to be as swift as a comet.

These are a few words Gao Junyu wrote on his own photo during his lifetime, and I will engrave it on the tablet for him after his death.

Junyu, I can't hold back your life that is as fast as a comet. I can only shed my remaining tears on your grave until I can't come to see you.

—— Plum

Gao Junyu's death took away Shi Pingmei's heart.From then on, beside Taoranting, no matter in the wind, frost, rain or snow, or the cycle of spring and autumn, there would always be a woman in black sitting in front of his tomb, stroking his tombstone and whispering and weeping.She hated herself for repenting too late, and hated her Tian Xin for walking so resolutely and thoroughly.

If my tears really condensed into pearls one by one, by now I would have woven a scarf around your jade neck for you.

If my lovesickness really turned into red beans one by one, by now I have accumulated love for you that will never be forgotten.

I love, I kiss the green grass on your tomb at sunset and dusk; I pray, it is an empty dream, let me see your heroic soul again.

I often feel that you are riding a horse and walking gently in the woods behind me.I often feel you stop in front of my window, wandering around waiting for my shadow to disappear and the lights to go out.I often feel that you approached me quietly following the sound of my calling you, and retreated to the corner with tears in my eyes.I often feel you standing outside my low-hanging snow tent, sighing sadly to the moonlight!
On the way of the sea of ​​dust, I happened to meet a person like you. After I stopped and stared, my heart ah!It was as cold and desolate as the autumn wind sweeping the fallen leaves!I meditate that I have already obtained the heart of love, and now it is just a silent solitary mound under the wild grass and sunset.

My heart is the waning moon in a dream late at night, and my love is the blue and calm lake that will never flow again.The waning moon shines on your tombstone, and the lake surrounds your grave. I love it. This is my dream, and it is also your dream. Rest in peace, dear soul!

——(Shi Pingmei "Elegy by the Tomb")
As she said in the mourning words engraved on Gao Junyu's tombstone, in the next three years, she shed the remaining tears of the rest of her life in front of his tomb.She turned herself into a crimson plant by the Sansheng stone, repaying his nostalgia and affection until she could no longer see him.

She also thought of inheriting Gao Junyu's will and becoming a soldier. In 1925, after the "May 1926th Massacre", she and Lu Jingqing published a special notice in the "Women's Weekly" to condemn them angrily; In grief and indignation, she wrote "Blood Corpse" and "Weeping and Jane".After that, Lu Jingqing went south to join the revolution. She said to her friends: "Although I can't continue Tian Xin's work, I should work hard. You see, the murders in Beijing, Jingqing went to the revolution, Beijing I am the only one left, and I will definitely go to the south after the summer vacation..." In the end, under the persuasion of my mother and colleagues, I failed to make the trip.

She has been immersed in the memory of Tian Xin, unable to extricate herself.On New Year's Eve in the 15th year of the Republic of China, she wrote a letter to a friend at the table, and the paper was full of longing for Tian Xin and despair.

Every time I face my friend you in a quiet environment, I always think of Junyu.I'm really sorry for you, and it was a bit abrupt for you, I wanted to call you "Junyu" several times, when I saw your face as a friend, I smiled wryly to myself... I really miss him, if he can be like this now My friend, you are so lively and play with me. I wish I could die immediately, but I can’t. He is dead. Everyone says he has been dead for two years.

——(Shi Pingmei "I Sink in Bitter Memories")
One year after he passed away, on a snowy morning, she walked against the cold wind in the icy and snowy fields until she arrived at Taoranting Tianxin's tomb.When she and Tian Xin came to Taoranting a year ago, it was the first clear weather after the snow.This silver-white world is like their unswerving ice and snow friendship until death, but today is still the Taoranting of yesterday, and it is still the once pure white world, but they are sleeping under the forest spring, and the lonely shadow is lost.

"The blue sea, the blue sky, the infinite road, and I know when I will meet you again", this is the elegiac couplet she wrote to Gao Junyu at his memorial service.Now, Bilu Huangquan, where is she going to find him?

All the sadness turned into weeping blood and whining.The stone table in front of his tomb has been covered with snow, like a piece of clean plain paper.How much she wanted to write him a letter, telling him how much she missed him in this world!
She stretched out her fingers and wrote three words on the snow-covered stone table stroke by stroke: I am coming!

On September 1928, 9, Shi Pingmei, a famous female writer in Beijing, suddenly suffered from meningitis and died in Union Hospital at 18 o'clock in the night on September 9. One year later, she was moved from Changshou Temple to be buried next to Gao Junyu's tomb in Taoranting.

"I didn't get along with each other when I was alive, and I hope that I can be buried together in the barren hills after death", this is her last wish, and she should know it without regret.

a grave is a metaphor

the vicissitudes of the past

leaving only dreamlike memories
The fountain of life is still flowing

flow over that grave
——(Storm's "The Grave")
My heart hurts, faintly hurts.It is also very sad, because of her unwillingness.

"I will stay with the blue sky and clear water forever, so I will save the half of the 'Red Mansion' for others to write." It was midnight, and she was lying in the post-occupation Queen Mary Hospital in Hong Kong, writing such last words on paper.Outside the house, gunfire raged.She was far away from her hometown and relatives, dying in a strange city that had been occupied.

She is Xiao Hong.She is only 31 years old, what a cruel world!
At that time, the person she loved had already left her.It was she who said cruelly to him: "Sanlang, let's part forever!"

What a pain, even when separated, she still loves him.

At the last moment of her life, she told Luo Binji dreamily: "If Xiao Jun is in Sichuan, I will send him a telegram, and he will definitely come to pick me up..." As if the old days had come back again, she was still the same as him who would go through fire and water to die. save lover.However, at this time, the city collapsed, the love was scattered, and the ravings of her deep-seated thoughts made people unbearable to hear each other.

I wish I could turn back time and return to the beginning of fate.It was like meeting her for the first time, when he overwhelmed the mountains and rescued her from the abyss of water and fire, and then composed a song of alluring love with her.The past of suffering was a very dark and deep hole, he was like a ray of light, illuminating her world.

Deep in love, people are desolate.Was the lingering love and hatred in the past blown away by the wind and rain of the troubled times?Now there is only suffering, never give up.

However, the deep love in suffering, the unforgettable life-and-death dependence, is it really forgotten?Saburo, you should always remember that when you read her poem for the first time, in an instant, it was like a bright spring blooming from the ruins...

The leaves here are green, and the clear stream over there sings: ——Girl, spring is here.

The leaves are turning green here, and the clear brook over there sings: ——Girl!Spring is coming.

(End of this chapter)