Meet you in the most beautiful years

Chapter 34 Meeting You is a Legend of Fate (2)
The young Ronghua is naturally sensitive and sensitive, but her heart is delicate but full of rebellion.Except for her grandfather Zhang Weizhen, almost everyone in the family, even her biological parents, were cold and alienated from her because of patriarchy.When she was four years old, every time her grandmother went out to the street, she would perfunctorily say that she would bring her a small leather ball back, but she never fulfilled it once, so every time, she held it up full of hope, and finally became Disappointed and lonely.This happened until she was six years old, and finally on a clear summer day, she put on her little straw hat and went out alone to buy the little ball that her grandmother had repeated countless times but never entered the house.She stumbled and kept walking, until she got lost and couldn't find her home, and she was determined not to cry. Fortunately, she met a kind coachman, who took her back home after a long time.

"My mother doesn't love me very much, but she is still a mother", and my father's so-called "love" for her is even worse than my mother.Her mother, Jiang Yulan, was a poor woman. When Ronghua was nine years old, Jiang Yulan fell ill and passed away.Before she died, she took her daughter's hand and said, "Rong Huazi, are you crying? Don't cry, good boy, don't be afraid, Mom won't die." Tears flowed all over her face, the most tender moment when her mother treated her , but at the time of farewell.

Only three months after his mother passed away, Zhang Tingju married a newcomer.

In Xiao Hong's recollection, her father has always been an antagonistic character.The estrangement between her and her father is like ice on a river in severe winter, frozen between the lines.In a group photo of Xiao Hong’s family in 1947, Zhang Tingju in the photo is wearing a long gown and wearing a pair of glasses round like a wheel. He is already an old man with white beard and hair.He clasped his hands in front of his chest, and the corners of his mouth were pulled down. The stubbornness and sternness of his youth were still clearly visible under the cover of years.

When he was nine years old, his mother died.My father also changed, and when he accidentally broke a cup, he was about to scold to the point of making people tremble.Later, even my father's eyes turned, and every time I passed him, I felt as if I had a needle prick in my body: he squinted at you, and his haughty eyes flowed down from the bridge of his nose to the corner of his mouth.

(Xiao Hong's "Eternal Vision and Pursuit")
The father started beating her violently.At this time, she always hides silently beside her grandfather, only there can she find love and comfort.

When my father beat me, I was in my grandfather's room, facing the window all the time, from dusk to late night—the white snow outside the window was floating like white cotton...

From time to time, my grandfather put his wrinkled hands on my shoulders, and then on my head, and this voice rang in my ears: grow up quickly, and you will be fine when you grow up.

(Xiao Hong's "Eternal Vision and Pursuit")
The kind and gentle grandfather loves this little girl who is often lonely. Since Ronghua came to this world, he has hugged her, carried her on his back, pulled her, and cared for her every step of the way. "Grandfather went to the chicken rack to release chickens, and I followed there. Grandpa went to the duck rack to release ducks, and I followed." When she was a little older, her grandfather taught her to read "Poems of a Thousand Families", and the little girl She was very excited to read, and her voice was astonishingly loud, and the old man threatened her lovingly, "You have lifted the roof of the house away."

Ronghua's childhood paradise was the back garden of her family. Her grandfather often took her to pull weeds and water the back garden.In the garden, there are cucumbers, cabbage, corn, roses and lush and tall trees.In Xiao Hong's words, everything in the garden is full of happiness and tranquility: "The cucumber will bloom a lie flower if it wants to, and it will bear a cucumber if it wants to bear a cucumber; the corn will grow as tall as it wants to grow. It grows to the sky and no one cares about it..." This peaceful natural paradise is not only a paradise of prosperity, but also often attracts butterflies and insects to come and talk to it as guests. It seems that even the clouds in the sky are extraordinarily white and pure.

The roses in the garden can bloom from May to June.Grandfather squatted on the ground to pull weeds, and Ronghua quietly inserted dozens of roses into his straw hat. While inserting them, he laughed and heard his grandfather talking to himself: "This spring has a lot of rain, and our roses bloom so fragrantly." I'm afraid I can smell it on Erli Road." Xiao Ronghua laughed until Xiao Ronghua trembled.

When her mother died, nine-year-old Ronghua enrolled in the "Longwangmiao Primary School" in front of her home. She took the scientific name Zhang Xiuhuan, and her grandfather changed her name to Zhang Naiying because she had the same character as the elders in the family.

Her unique savvy and talents are gradually revealed.She is always the outstanding one in the school. She is quick thinking and deeply talented. The most valuable thing is that she has inherited the perseverance of a Northeast person, as well as the character and ambition of caring about the destiny of the nation.

When the "May 1925th" tragedy occurred in 14, she was in the second grade of the county's No. [-] Girls' Junior High School. At the age of [-], she walked in the forefront of the parade and protested to the most powerful "Eight Great Masters" in the area. "Fundraising, and playing a role in a drama benefit performance.That was the first time she participated in anti-aggression social activities, and this enthusiasm has accompanied her throughout her life.

After graduating from elementary school, Zhang Naiying's desire to continue her studies was tyrannically opposed by her father. She was stuck at home and took a break from school for a whole year.She threatened to become a nun to force her father to make concessions, and the relationship between the father and daughter was also tense.In her eyes, her father "turned into a fish without a little heat, or other animals without emotions."

It was the loving grandfather who won back the right to study for her.The grandfather always stood by his granddaughter, without asking for anything in return, or even right or wrong, and was willing to be her supporter.

At that time, she was already 16 years old. The daughter of Hulanhe finally passed the entrance examination of Harbin Eastern Province Special District No. [-] Girls Middle School and walked out of Hulan.Today, the school has been renamed "Xiaohong Middle School".

She is no longer the lonely and mischievous little girl in childhood, she is more and more calm, her thick black hair makes her face extremely fair, her big clear eyes are like a faint pool of water, reflecting her intelligence, perseverance, Lonely, and unruly.

Kazakhstan Women's High School is an important post in her life, where she came into contact with new culture more systematically.Wang Yinfen, a Chinese teacher, was a fan of Lu Xun. Influenced by him, Zhang Naiying fell in love with Lu Xun's works; and Gao Yangshan, an art teacher, graduated from the Shanghai Academy of Fine Arts where Liu Haisu was the principal at the time. Under his guidance, Zhang Naiying's painting skills became increasingly appear.In Harbin Women's Middle School, she loves reading and painting, and dreams of becoming a female painter in the future.At the same time, she published prose poems in the school newspaper under the pseudonym of whispering, which was her earliest literary work.Her literary and artistic potential is like the water of the Hulan River, like the bright sun in early summer, shining quietly.

In 1930, Zhang Naiying graduated from middle school. She wanted to study further afield, but this time, her father not only cut off her dream completely, but also forced her to marry.

And the grandfather who loved her the most, also left forever when the roses in the back garden were full of trees.

day away

The person her father forced her to marry was Wang Enjia.

The appearance of Wang Enjia seems to be a deliberate arrangement of fate. In order to repay a debt of love, he forced her into a dangerous valley, and finally attracted the heroes of Xiao Jun to save the beauty. With this tragic life and death love in the history of literature.

Therefore, from the perspective of fatalism, he created a cause of evil, so it is another kind of fulfillment.

Although Zhang Tingju has been engaged in education for many years, he is a stubborn feudal patriarch.As early as when Zhang Naiying was in high school, he married in Guxiangtun, Harbin, betrothed Zhang Naiying to Wang Enjia, the second son of Wang Tinglan, the first gang leader of the Provincial Defense Army, and was ready to marry his daughter at any time.Seeing his daughter growing up and being influenced by the new style of education, Zhang Tingju was afraid that something would happen to Ye Changmeng, so he repeatedly prevented her from continuing her studies and urged her to get married as soon as possible.Finally, patiently waiting until she finishes middle school and marrying a daughter has become an urgent matter for this feudal patriarch.

At that time, Wang Enjia, who was born in a feudal family and Zhang Naiying's fiancé, had graduated from the Third Provincial Normal School in Jilin Province and taught at Sanyu Primary School in Binjiang County.A well-educated young man can be regarded as handsome. At first, Zhang Naiying's impression of him was not bad.He often came to see her at school, and she often visited Wang's house. Even when Wang's father passed away, she went there as a prospective daughter-in-law to mourn her filial piety.

However, this handsome young man actually smoked opium.With Zhang Naiying's consciousness and personality, she absolutely cannot accept such a bad habit, so after repeated persuasion and disappointment, she gradually developed a heart of disgust.She can see her own future, if she doesn't break free, she will only sink down, living cautiously in the shadow of this old feudal family, being a humble woman who can only bear children.

Just at this time, her distant cousin, Lu Zhenshun, a student of Harbin Fazheng University, developed subtle emotions with her during frequent interactions with her.She understands that only by continuing to study further afield can she get rid of the design of fate, but her "greedy and dehumanized" father forced her to suspend her studies and marry Wang Enjia.

A new round of struggle broke out between her and her father.The grandfather who loved her most has passed away. At this time, no one can stand by her side and give her silent support.When the noise was intense, the stepmother always opened the door wide open, as if to prove to the neighbors that such a rebellious and unfilial daughter came out of the Zhang family's front room.

So, she simply persisted in this rebellion to the end.She pretended to agree to get married, and fled to Peiping under the pretext of going to Harbin to buy a wedding dress.She came for her studies, but also for her love.At that time, Lu Zhenshun, who shared the same goals with her, was already supporting her in Beiping.With the help of Lu Zhenshun, Zhang Naiying became a first-year girl in the High School Attached to Normal University for Girls.

They bear the condemnation of ethics, and look forward to breaking through a breach and breathing freely.Unfortunately, Lu Zhenshun already had a wife at that time.This act of yearning for ideals and free love has become a martyrdom.The cruel reality forced them back to the origin of life.

Lu Zhenshun chose to compromise.When the Zhang and Wang families learned of their whereabouts, they found important people from the Lu family. After ordering Lu Zhenshun to send Zhang Naiying back to no avail, the Lu family was furious, and immediately cut off his source of income.The weather is cold, naked, penniless, starving, ideals and freedom instantly become a ridiculous game.As a result, they had nowhere to go after the winter vacation, so they could only embark on the return journey and go home separately.This short exodus started with an ideal, but at the end, it was like a farce.

The Zhang family in Hulan County is more cold and unfamiliar than before she left.In her era, if a young woman who had not left the court dared to elope with a man, although she would not be tied to the ground, it would still be a flower of evil, enough to bring shame to the family.Therefore, her father resented her for ruining her family style, and regarded her as an outlier who left home and betrayed her ancestors; the ridicule and supercilious eyes of the neighbors around her were like thorns and cold arrows, leaving her nowhere to hide.

She is alone and helpless, like a wounded hedgehog, facing the ruthless siege, she curls up her small body and resists the confrontation unyieldingly.So, when her uncle listened to her stepmother's complaint and rushed to Hulan to teach her a lesson, she immediately picked up a kitchen knife and confronted her uncle with red eyes.At that time, she wanted to tell the world that she would rather be rebellious than compromise easily. In order to live freely, she was not even afraid of death.

In the spring of 1931, her stepmother took her and her younger siblings to Fuchang Haotun, Acheng County, where they lived temporarily at her uncle's house.Fuchang Haotun is the Zhang family's old house, but it is not her shelter.In a dispute between the tenant and her uncle, out of sympathy for the tenant, she tried to persuade her uncle to reduce the land rent. Send a telegram to Zhang Tingju, telling him to rush over and strangle the prodigal daughter to death.

She is rebellious, but has a sense of justice; she yearns for freedom and love, but is always hurt by love.Authenticity and maverick are her key words.She is a pure and innocent woman, neither used to nor disdain to flatter, has no scheming, does not know how to hide, but in exchange for a lifetime of melancholy and loneliness.

Autumn in Acheng seems to come very early. In October, the villages are already withered, frosty and windy.With the help of several aunts, Zhang Naiying secretly got into a cabbage-drawn carriage, left Acheng, left the once warm but now cold and unfeeling home, and embarked on a difficult and wandering journey.

That year, she had just turned 20 years old.When I left, I wore an old blue sapphire cheongsam, haggard and lonely, except for the stubborn firmness in my eyes, which was still calm and awe-inspiring, neither compromised nor flinched.That was the last back of her left to Hulan River, and she never came back.

A seed of freedom has taken root in her heart.Just like the back garden of childhood, she can be any flower, a stalk of grass, or a cloud, blowing the wind, drenching in the rain, and basking in the morning sun without restraint, without humiliation and oppression.How she longed for that time.

The flowers bloomed, as if the flowers woke up from sleep.The bird flew, like a bird in the sky.The worm screamed, as if the worm was talking.Everything is alive.They all have unlimited abilities, and they can do whatever they want.Whatever you want, do whatever you want.All are free.

(Xiao Hong's "Hulan River Biography")
Now, in the small town of Hulan River, her dear grandfather is buried, as well as her windy youth.She is no longer nostalgic, and has nothing to worry about, so she will pursue freedom and love with a tragic heart.

Running away from home this time is a road of no return.The father was full of anger and hatred, and regarded her as a disgrace to the family, expelled her from the clan, and prohibited the family from contacting her, and even the letters she wrote to her younger brother were detained and strictly investigated.Four years later, in the genealogy compiled by Zhang Tingju himself, there is not a single word about Zhang Naiying, as if she is not the blood of this family at all.

However, having a home has no meaning to her.She has been wandering on the streets of Harbin for more than a month.The cold winter is approaching, and the snowy Harbin is more like a cold dry well. Every day and night, she walks huddled on the snow-covered streets, like a little match girl in a fairy tale, looking for light and warmth.

That night, the cold wind forced me very harshly, tears flowed down like crying, I wiped and wiped with gloves... I felt pain like needles pricking my feet.How I envied those buildings facing the street that I passed by, and I felt resentful towards every window.It must be warm and happy in there, and there must be a good bed in it.When I think of sleeping beds, I think of the stables in my hometown. Isn’t it very comfortable to hang in the stables!I even thought of the place where the dog sleeps, there must be thatch, and sitting on the thatch can keep my feet warm.

(Xiao Hong's Overnight)
"The sky is full of stars, the house is full of moons, what is life like, why is it so sad." When she wrote this sentence later, she wondered if she thought of the days of wandering.Sadness is the portrayal of her this time.But she would rather that than compromise.On the streets of Harbin, she unexpectedly met Zhang Tingju, who had severed her relationship with her. The father and daughter faced each other coldly and rubbed shoulders indifferently; one morning in early winter, she met her cousin Zhang Xiuxuan again by chance. In the eyes of her relatives, she had fallen into despair It hurts.

"Sister Ying," the younger brother's eyes were dark black. "It's cold, you can't drift down anymore, go home!" Waiting for him to say: "Your hair is so long, why don't you go to the barber shop once?" I don't know why he was excited by his words.

The light that might be extinguished is rekindled in my heart, and heat and light urge me to say:

"I don't want to go back to that kind of home."

……

"So do you want money?"

"No."

"So you look like this? You're thin! You're going to be sick! Your clothes are too thin!" The younger brother's eyes were dark black, full of prayers and wishes.We shook hands again and walked in separate directions.

The sun is shining on my face, still the same as before I met my brother, I walk through the streets, I walk aimlessly.The cold wind pierces the throat, causing small coughs from time to time.

(Xiao Hong's "Early Winter")
In Harbin in mid-November, the wind was biting, and it was as cold as an ice cave. She didn't know how long she could last: the clothes were thin, the stomach was hungry, and she had no fixed place to live.She curled up and warmed herself in a hugging position, how much she looked forward to a hug.

I don't know whether it was luck or misfortune, Wang Enjia appeared in front of her.

Therefore, this man who should not have appeared but appeared in time took her to the Dongxingshun Hotel located in Zhengyang Shiliudao Street, Harbin Daowai, and ended her lonely wandering life in the form of cohabitation.

Later, she became pregnant, and the man who made her pregnant took her hostage after incurring a debt to the hotel and ran away.

Later, she wrote a letter to the newspaper——thus, her legendary destiny in this life began.It is destined that Saburo, whom she loves all her life, will pass through the Zhengyang Sixteenth Avenue Street outside Harbin Daowai, walk into the long corridor of Dongxingshun Hotel at this very moment, neither sooner nor later, and ring the bell. NO.18 door.

She has been waiting for him there, and all the hardships she has experienced may be to meet him.She had waited 20 years for this moment.

I just like to watch you stand up and sit down, sit down and stand up again, during which there is an indescribable romance.

(End of this chapter)