Meet you in the most beautiful years

Chapter 35 Love Is As Deep As Suffering (1)
rescue the most beautiful soul
When I write down this period of life in the old days, I will feel emotional: no matter what happens in the future, Xiao Jun back then was really a great man.

Decades later, their life-and-death love has been scattered into distant legends. In his old age, he would sit in the afterglow of the evening, recalling the joys and sorrows, and said affectionately and calmly: "I saved and found a Great female writer."

Indeed, without Xiao Jun, there would be no Xiao Hong in the world, no "Field of Life and Death", and no "Biography of Hulan River".

If there is no Saburo, in Harbin in the 30s, there would be only Zhang Naiying, a northeastern woman who was detained in the Dongxingshun Hotel.

"The sky is full of stars, the house is full of moons, what is life like, why is it so sad." The small town of Hulan dances to the drums of the Great God, full of solemn and mysterious atmosphere.Although she was young at that time, her ears were full of mournful voices.This unrelenting sorrow, like the cold wind at night, sneaked all the way over, becoming the keynote of her life, desolation, and the desolation of fate.

Therefore, when I look at her short life from a distance, I have to respect Xiao Jun. He lit a torch in the dark, illuminated her dream, and made her sad life like a burning cloud, drifting gorgeously across the sky at that time .

The Buddha said that ignorance is related to action, action is related to consciousness, and twelve karmic conditions are related to birth and death.It's how many times in the previous life I looked back and rubbed shoulders so many times that I got the love in this troubled world.

He is four years older than Zhang Naiying. On July 1907, 7, he was born in Xianianpangou Village, Shenjiatai Town, Yixian County, Liaoning Province, which is now Danian Township, Linghai City, Liaoning Province. He is a Manchu family. His original name was Liu Honglin, also known as Liu Weitian. Yan Sanlang, Tian Jun, Liu Jun, etc. were later known as Xiao Jun.

This rebellious Manchu youth was even more miserable than Zhang Naiying in terms of life experience.He has a violent father.When he was still an infant, his mother committed suicide by swallowing opium because of his father's beating and humiliation. Since then, he has grown up staggeringly in a poor village where he lost his mother's love.In the west of Liaoning, he is a barbaric and martial artist. He practiced martial arts at a young age, and dreamed of traveling the rivers and lakes to fight for justice. , He served as a cavalry soldier in Jilin, and later was admitted to the Northeast Army Lecture Hall run by Zhang Xueliang to study law and military affairs. In 1929, he published his first vernacular novel "Cowardly..." in the "Shengjing Times" under the pseudonym Yan Sanlang, and began to embark on the road of creation.

Before meeting Zhang Naiying, he was married and had a family in the countryside.However, in an era when life and death are both sloppy, people gather and disperse like duckweed, let alone marriage and divorce? At the beginning of 1932, he came to Harbin amidst the turmoil of the current situation, secretly propagandized the anti-Japanese war, and became a member of the revolutionary literary and artistic front.In the spring of this year, Saburo, who was in danger, sent his wife back to his hometown, and then wrote her a letter, saying that he had a long way to go, and he didn't know when he would be able to go home for reunion, and asked her to remarry someone else.

At that time, like a warrior who had cut off his retreat, he took the only pistol with him and defected to Pei Xinyuan, editor-in-chief of the supplement of "International Association Daily", to assist him in writing a special children's issue, and published revolutionary works under the pseudonym "Sanlang".

It seems that when he came to this world, besides being a revolutionary warrior, he also shouldered a special mission: to rescue a talented woman and turn her into Xiao Hong, adding a ray of light to this suffering world.

At that time, he was also down and out.In Harbin, he was actually a homeless man with nothing.Therefore, in a small restaurant in Daowai District in the summer of 1932, when Pei Xinyuan talked about Zhang Naiying’s experience with colleagues in the newspaper office, he was not active. I just poured two more glasses into my lips." Even when he knocked on the door of the hotel, walked into her small room, and finished the task assigned by Pei Xinyuan with a few words, to Zhang Naiying, he was still just a unapproachable strangers.

But he was a piece of driftwood that drifted to her side with great difficulty, and she was about to suffocate in the vast sea of ​​suffering. Perhaps her intuition told her that he was sent by God to save her. People, will take her away.

So when he got up and was about to leave, she put aside her reserve and begged in desperation: "Let's talk... shall we?"

So he stayed, and then discovered her paintings, her words, and her poems, so a bright spring bloomed in his heart and eyes, he was ecstatic for his discovery, and he swore to himself that he would not hesitate At all costs, we must save the most beautiful soul in this suffering.

Although she was a pregnant woman at the time, with a bloated and unattractive figure, he fell in love with her soul and talent.He wrote in "Candle Heart": "At that time, I only felt that you were the only one who was beautiful in this world! - I also wrote such words to a girl I once loved - for some reason, I just wanted to Bend into your arms and cry! Cry! Cry all you want!"

They met in misery and fell in love.

Despite the hunger and the hotel owner's frequent calls to press for debts, Zhang Naiying, who was in trouble, was filled with the happiness of love.The night she saw Saburo, she suffered from insomnia.Hunger is not important anymore. Thinking of his smile, "It's better than eating anything." She became passionate and gentle like never before. She began to write poems, one after another "Spring Song":
I love poets but am afraid of hurting them, because the poet's heart is so beautiful, like water and flowers, I just don't want to destroy it, but I'm afraid of being destroyed by others, so why should I love him.

——(Xiao Hong's Spring Song No. [-])
Only the hesitation of love is beautiful, Saburo, I am not cruel, I just like to watch you stand up and sit down, sit down and stand up again, during which there is an indescribable romance.

——(Xiao Hong's "Spring Song" No. [-])
When he loves me, I have no strength, I can't even open my eyes, I asked him why?
He said: Just get used to it.

ah!A precious heart of first love.

——(Xiao Hong's "Spring Song" No. [-])
Is the heart in love a winter fire?It can withstand the bitter wind and rain, and it can also cross the glacier and fly to the spring of March.

In July, a torrential rain that lasted for more than 20 days hit Harbin. On the night of August [-], the entire line of the Songhua River burst and the flood rushed into the urban area. A dozen streets outside the road instantly became rivers.The citizens who woke up from their sleep screamed and fled to the high ground of Nangang.

The first floor of the Dongxingshun Hotel was completely submerged in the flood, while Zhang Naiying, who was about to give birth, lived on the second floor.Sitting on the window sill, she stretched out her hand and touched the flood water under the window sill.She walked around the room barefoot.At this moment, she felt like she was on an isolated island with nowhere to escape, surrounded by flood waters, and her ears were filled with the sound of rushing for help.This sad night seems to be the end of the world.

She firmly believed that Saburo would come to rescue her.At this time at Pei Xinyuan's home, San Lang was discussing the rescue plan with his colleagues.He was burning with anxiety, Shui Da was in a hurry, and he couldn't tolerate any delay.He begged that he knew how to swim, and it didn't matter if he didn't have a boat, he would swim to rescue her.

The Dongxingshun Hotel was in a mess, the owner was busy transferring his property, and the tenants were looking for boats to escape. The waiter who guarded Zhang Naiying no longer cared about the [-] yuan room fee owed, and fled by boat in a panic.Seeing one boat after another carrying the tenants away, Zhang Naiying was guarding the flooded window sill, waiting eagerly for her Saburo, waiting for him to come to rescue her like a knight.

Time passed by every minute and every second, and the flood was rising inch by inch. She stood in front of the window on the second floor, as if time had passed century after century.She didn't know that Saburo was in the flood at this time, swimming towards her with all his strength.

The scene at that moment does not need fiction or props, it is more like a real-life epic love movie.The huge scene of a life-and-death disaster, the catastrophe of the market, the panic-stricken crowd, and the troubled world of misery all turned into a vain scene before his eyes. He only had the white water street leading to the hotel in front of him, and only With Zhang Naiying's lonely and helpless face, he had only one thought in his mind, hurry up, hurry up, he wants to swim to her side and take her away.

After finally swimming to the hotel, room No.18 on the second floor was empty!He yelled her name frantically, looking for her figure everywhere, but found nothing.

Disappointed and anxious, he rushed to Pei Xinyuan's house, but was delighted to find that Zhang Naiying was waiting for him there!It turned out that she had been waiting for Sanlang for a long time, and the hotel could not stay long. It happened that a firewood boat passed by the window, so she left Dongxingshun Hotel with the boat, and followed the Pei family address that Sanlang had left for her, and found it all the way. .

The reversal of Zhang Naiying's fate, Pei Xinyuan is the first person she wants to thank.It was he who paid attention to Zhang Naiying's distress letter with a heart of justice and sympathy, and finally led to a relationship between her and Xiao Jun. Now, he has accepted this impoverished couple to live at home.

However, compared with ideals, life is always rougher and more cumbersome.Zhang Naiying is about to give birth. A young woman with a big belly lives in Pei's house with a man whose relationship is not yet clear. Pei Xinyuan understands it, but Mrs. Pei and Mother-in-law Pei find it hard to accept. Their indifference and white eyes make the couple uneasy, so They lived in Pei's house at night like wandering spirits, and went out to wander the streets early in the morning.Later, Xiao Hong recalled in "Abandoned Children": "Like two wild dogs that have just been taken in by their masters, they only return to their master's house after eating and sleeping, and the rest are running and squatting on the street."

However, the day of delivery arrived.Zhang Naiying's stomach hurts like twisting, her face is as white as paper, but her mother-in-law Pei's disgusted white eyes and nagging are in her ears.She was sweating and crying as she pressed her belly against the kang, trying to squeeze out the little things in her belly.Outside, it was pouring rain, San Lang rushed into the rain curtain, he wanted to borrow money, and he wanted to send Naiying to the hospital!

He finally hired a carriage and took Naiying to Harbin Municipal First Hospital when it was already dark.Knocking on the door of the hospital, he had to pay 15 yuan in advance for hospitalization. The destitute Saburo had no choice but to drag Zhang Naiying back to Pei's house.

Without money, she couldn't live in a hospital, and Zhang Naiying's life would be in danger at any time.This world is a breeding ground for the rich and a hell for the poor.But even if the sky falls, he is willing to stand up for the woman he loves.

The next day, he sent Naiying to the third-class maternity room of the hospital without waiting for the hospital to issue the admission procedures, and told her not to leave no matter who drove her away, and then went out to continue raising money.

Using the survival wisdom of the poor, he finally got Zhang Naiying admitted to the hospital and gave birth to a baby girl.

For six whole days, she didn't look at the child or feed the child a sip of milk!Many people only thought she was cruel, but they didn't understand her pain and helplessness at that time.Although she didn't criticize Wang Enjia in all her later writings, it couldn't change the hardships and blows he brought her.Although the child is innocent, she cannot ask for more from a difficult life.Therefore, she restrained her emotions, and gave the newborn baby away with a calmness and determination rarely seen in women.

"Abandoned Children" is her true record of this experience: "'Please hug me, don't say anything else.' She covered her head with the quilt, and she couldn't hold back any more. What kind of tears are these? In the quilt Crossflow."

She could never forget the baby girl.Many years later in Hong Kong, she told Duanmu Hongliang in front of the hospital bed that when he went to Harbin in the future, he must look for the child.

After giving birth, Zhang Naiying was depressed, physically weak, and she was always sad and crying, and then fell seriously ill.San Lang is destitute and penniless, and the hospital refuses to treat Zhang Naiying with medication.Saburo stood beside her hospital bed.All the other women were teasing their newborn baby, only his beloved woman, huddled weakly and lonely under the thin quilt, looked at him with sad, ashamed and shy eyes, her two big eyes were filled with tears, as if there was only one With a gust of wind, tears will drip down and flow into a thin river.Saburo knew that her body and mind were suffering from pain.

The nurse in the ward told him that after he left yesterday, Zhang Naiying sat alone by the window for a long time, and this morning she became seriously ill.

"Honey, am I going to die?" she asked feebly.The doctor has not given her medicine.

He was stabbed by the scene in front of him.He was distressed, painful, and then angry.He broke into the hospital duty room.Two doctors on duty were playing chess, and he overturned the chessboard with a wave of his hand, and said angrily: "If you can't cure my person today, if she dies from now on... I will kill you and your dean!" , your dean’s family killed everyone in your hospital... I’m waiting for you to go to the doctor right away!”

When he returned to the ward, he was extremely exhausted, and fell asleep after a while.When he woke up, Zhang Naiying was looking at him quietly and smiling.During the time when he fell asleep, the doctor had treated Zhang Naiying because of his power.At this moment she whispered to Saburo: "My dear, you have won."

His tears welled up in an instant.This man who never bowed his head to fate cried.

Europa Hotel and Mall

I often think, if there is no Xiao Jun, what would Xiao Hong do at that time?Pei Xinyuan's humanitarian help could not solve too many problems after all.She is a strange living body. Although her life is short, sufferings follow her everywhere.Deceived, detained, impoverished, childbirth, disease, a lonely and weak woman, in the turbulent and dark Northeast "Manchukuo", seems to be sitting and waiting to die except for falling into prostitution.

Only Xiao Jun, who is resolute and Kongwu, can hold her before she slips into the abyss and share her deep suffering.

They are all helpless vagrants who have experienced hardships at the bottom of life.The only wealth they have for each other is knowledge and culture, and their never-slack longing for the future.When they met, it was the encounter of two rain clouds, in the sky of lightning and thunder, they fell in love with each other.

Saburo fulfilled all her initial imagination about love.When she was young, she once told her stepmother's sister, Liang Jingzhi, that you should not only look for money when you marry, but look for educated poor people.This also became her own standard.Although San Lang is impoverished, he is educated and thoughtful, full of chivalrous feelings and fortitude. When she is beyond recognition, he recognizes her beauty, loves her passionately and deeply, and supports her at all costs.

Such a precious emotion.No matter whether this love will fade in the future, no matter how far and how long they can carry each other together, and no matter how much right and wrong there will be in the future, the unforgettable present will always be a moving legend.

This couple in misery, life has been difficult.In order to survive, he must use the survival rules of the poor and warriors to break through the iron walls.There is nothing else to do.

After being discharged from the hospital, the atmosphere in Pei's house was obviously not suitable for them to live in.After the disaster, Harbin was depressed and quiet. Because the business of the hotel rooms was not as good as before, Saburo was able to take the frail Nai Ying to live in the Europa Hotel opened by the White Russians.

The stairs are so long, it seems to let me climb to the top of the sky along a path.In fact, it was only a three-story building, and I was really powerless. Holding on to the railing of the building, I tried my best to pull out two trembling legs that didn't belong to me. After a few steps, my hands began to tremble like my legs.

When I walked into that room, I snuggled into bed like a humiliated child and slowly wiped my face with my cuff.

He—Lang Hua, my lover, he was still my lover at that time, he asked me:
"Are you crying?"

—— (Xiao Hong's "Hotel Europa")
The small room of Europa Hotel was so clean, with white sheets, white walls, and white tablecloths. She leaned softly on the bed, as if living in a white curtain.The tall Russian waitress came in and learned that they couldn't even pay fifty cents a day's rent for bedding, so she tore off the soft pillows, sheets and tablecloths. In just a few seconds, there were broken straw mattresses, broken wooden tables and The rattan chair was broken, and even the drinking cup had to be replaced with a washbasin. The white and clean room instantly became an illusion.

The original monthly rent of 30 yuan has risen to 20 yuan per day due to the flood, but all their belongings are only [-] yuan.At that time, because of Nai Ying, Saburo had a very unpleasant quarrel with the Pei family, and left the "International Association Journal" in a fit of anger. He lost his job with a monthly salary of [-] yuan.Two impoverished couples who have nothing but love.

The steward of the hotel ordered them to move out early the next morning. In desperation, Saburo took out the long sword from under the bed. The steward reluctantly gave up, but called several policemen that night and almost locked them in the police station.

Saburo went out early and returned late every day, borrowing money, looking for food, and looking for work.She huddled in her small hotel room, waiting for him hungry.Sometimes he came back empty-handed, sometimes he brought back some steamed buns, and often he could only eat one meal a day.Fortunately, Saburo has a good foundation in martial arts training, so he put up a martial arts recruitment advertisement, and occasionally a few people would come to consult him.

(End of this chapter)