Meet you in the most beautiful years

Chapter 9
The most beautiful love letter in the world
The most beautiful memory in the world is remembering that love once came.Maybe I was young and ignorant at that time, but it must be as bright as spring, with trees and trees blooming, romantic sorrow and joy.

Although the Buddha said, "I became a Buddha because I have no love, and the five aggregates are empty", but all living beings in the world are always driven by desires, and their lives are either brilliant or miserable.The power of love is always so magical. George Chapman said it unequivocally: "I tell you, Venus is the second sun of all things. Wherever he shines, there will be spring." Of course, we all I still remember the love oath in "Shangxie": "I want to know each other with you, and I will live forever."

I have always felt that Shen Congwen's love letter to Zhang Zhaohe is the most beautiful love letter in the world.If it hadn't been destroyed by the flames of war, those hundreds of letters piled up with love should be the most beloved scriptures in the world, like a flute sound parked in the moonlight. In the early days of the Anti-Japanese War in 1937, everyone was planning to flee, but Zhang Zhaohe was determined to live in Beiping. "I sorted out my letters two days ago, and I feel even more reluctant to leave. We have many beautiful and lovely letters." However, right here At the end of the year, the house of the Zhang family in Suzhou was destroyed by artillery fire, and these letters were almost completely burned.In the winter of this year, Zhang Zhaohe wrote to Shen Congwen in a letter:
It saddened me very much to have two things ruined.One is the photo of Da Da (referring to mother Lu Ying), and the other is the letters you gave me before marriage, including the first letter you handed to me until I lived in the Beijing apartment, the so-called love letters. Those letters are The most meaningful record of our lives is also the best historical material for people to study you hundreds of years later. What a beautiful, wonderful, sad, and rich record of our emotional life.What an irreparable loss!

Zhang Zhaohe is so lucky to have become Shen Congwen's ideal woman, "She must be beautiful, noble, and proud to make me go crazy." Although she is not perfect, she can make a talented person with rich emotions spend his whole life passion, to love her so humbly and deeply.All living beings in the world meet by chance, and it is her luck to get it; it is also her destiny to get it.

In June 1931, Shen Congwen wrote a letter from Beiping Dayuan to Zhang Zhaohe, which was published in the "Literary Monthly" on June 6 of that year under the title "Scrap Mail Storage (6)". The most widely circulated love letter.At the beginning of the letter, he asked his ninth younger sister Shen Yuemeng (九) to visit his sweetheart Zhang Zhaohe (××) for him.

I want Jiu to visit ×× to see you, and I said: "Jiu, you go to see ×× for me, which means that I have seen her myself. Be happy when I go, because my brother is happy to see ××. "

……

The book I gave you, "XX" and "Husband" are my favorites, among which "Husband" is the best memory, because I was in Wusong at that time, because I loved you so much that I was going crazy Now, while writing to you, I wrote such an article in distress. ……××, I’m here to tell you this at this time, it’s a story, I hope you don’t feel bad about it.

……

I recently read an article that said something like the following: "Everyone has the virtue of a slave. That's why there are leaders in this world who are respected and worshiped by people. Because of the slave's virtue, Everyone needs something, so those who do not worship the leader must always choose a chance to bow their heads to another thing." XXX, I am in front of you, and this virtue obviously exists.In honor of you, I despise all my careers.

……

Let me also say that your slave, for his own sake and for the sake of others, also tried hard to get out of the fetters.Of course this cannot be done, because it is not an easy task.To embarrass you, to make you feel guilty, I thought it was bad.I have made ridiculous efforts to get along with other people. Only when others admired me and were willing to be my slave did I realize that I am not a leader, and I don’t need other women to serve me with a slave heart. I am willing to be a slave myself, to offer my heart to the one I love.I said that I love you stubbornly, and this kind of words can't be replaced by other words, just because it is my slavishness.

××, I beg you, allow me to do what I want to do in the future, whenever I want to say something to you, you can treat me as a relatively stupid person who is not annoying, and give me a chance to say something Some slavish and despicable words, this is something you can easily do.Don't you think that you feel embarrassed every time I say "I love you", and you don't have to say "I don't love you" as a way to resist other people's love for you. ... ××, you are my moon.You can listen to a person who is not very smart, use various voices, various words, and tell you various feelings, but this feeling is caused by your existence, like a light, shining into my life Yes, don't you think this is also an interesting thing in life?
"A woman will never age in the poet's poems, but the poet himself does." Thinking of this, I became very depressed.Life is too fragile a thing, it is no more able to withstand the years and winds than a flower. Looking at life with eyes that are in love with nature, I can't help but feel that enthusiasm is precious, and I value the coincidence of people and people. vine kudzu.In the same personnel, there will be no second chance.I have only seen the full moon once in my life.I also comforted myself, and I said: "I have walked bridges in many places, seen clouds many times, drank many types of wine, but only loved one person at his best age. I should be grateful for myself... ..."

……

Seeing the bright blue sky high above Beiping makes one want to kneel down. The impact you have on me is just like this sky. The distance is so far away. I look at it during the day and dream at night. I always dream of growing wings and flying upwards.Fly upwards, and you will see many stars, which have become your eyes.

××, don’t be angry with me, allow me to kiss your feet with my mouth in a dream, my inferiority complex is that I feel like a slave squatting on the ground and approaching your feet with my mouth, which is close to blasphemy .

When I read what I wrote, "The reed is fragile, but the rock is immovable", I was very sad.The brittle reed, in its life, bows its head whenever the wind blows, but stands up again after the wind passes.Only you make it shakubuku, and never make the hope of standing up again.

At this time, Shen Congwen has passed the trough of love, and his heart is full of sad and sweet emotions. He said in the letter: "I am very quiet. I seem to live to love you, so I just want to live a good life."

He became quiet and peaceful, and unintentionally used this emotion as the background color of his creations. In August 1931, he finished the novel "San San" with deep love for his sweetheart.Later Sansan became Zhang Zhaohe's nickname.The people he loves most in life almost all use the names of his novels, including "Long Zhu" and "Tiger Cub", which he named his two sons after many years.

He is a lover, and there is always another self hidden in his works, including his emotions, the purity of Yuanshui and the leisure of Ye Yun.The heroines in many of his novels have dark and pretty faces, including Sansan, and later Cuicui in "Border Town", all of them have shadows of Zhang Zhaohe.Because of his love for her, there is always a stream of heat lurking in the fresh mist in his works, creating a charming smoke scene in the empty mountains after the rain.

The world is always unpredictable, and sorrow and joy are also impermanent. 1931 was another year of bewilderment and grief. In September 1931, under Xu Zhimo's recommendation again, Shen Congwen left Wuhan and came to Qingdao University to teach "History of Fiction" and "Prose Writing".However, he never expected that two months later, Xu Zhimo died in an air crash in Dangjiazhuang, Jinan.As early as February, Hu Yepin was also shot dead by the KMT in Shanghai.Two talented friends in his life passed away one after another.

The fragrance of orchid and bamboo, the fleeting time does not continue, life seems more lonely.Fortunately, he still has a sweetheart to miss.Living in the island city, he walks along the seashore every day, thinking about that little woman under the warm sunshine. His thoughts are like the blue sea water, like the moist and passionate sea breeze, which makes his heart restless from time to time.

During the summer vacation of 1932, Shen Congwen decided to go to Suzhou to visit his black-faced beauty, unable to bear the longing for his sweetheart.Excited and uneasy, he sold the copyright of a book before leaving, and entrusted Ba Jin in Shanghai to buy a batch of precious anthology for him, together with an exquisite long-billed bird bookmark, as a gift for his sweetheart .

For a family with a daughter, there will always be a day when a young man who is doomed in the previous life, energetic and cautious, will come to the door and take away his beloved. In the summer of 1932, an elegant and handsome young man in a long gown and glasses welcomed the Zhang family’s mansion in Jiuru Lane, Suzhou.The person who was destined to take Miss Zhaohe away finally appeared.

The second lady, Yunhe, remembers this moment.On that day, unfortunately, Zhaohe, who returned home after graduating from a Chinese public school, went to the library.In the summer afternoon, Jiuru Lane is extraordinarily quiet and quiet, and the high courtyard walls are mottled by the sun.Although she had never met the young man in long gowns before, Yunhe seemed to have known each other for a long time. She quickly matched the "Toad No. 13" with the Mr. Shen in front of her.

She said gently: "Third sister went to the library to read and will be back soon. Please come in and sit down."

He was a little disappointed, hesitated again and again, and said a few words shyly and cautiously: "Let me go."

He returned to the Central Hotel where he stayed temporarily.His heart was full of expectations.In the unfamiliar Suzhou, he has nowhere to go, only waiting for his black beauty to find him.That wonderful moment finally came with a soft knock on the door. He ran to open the door, and Zhang Zhaohe, who was a little nervous, stood outside the door.She repeated the words Yunhe taught her as if endorsing, and invited Mr. Shen to visit Zhang's house.

It was a successful visit. My father and stepmother were not in Suzhou at that time, and the Zhang family only had a big house of brothers, sisters and cadres.In just a few days, Shen Congwen, who can make up stories, was like a mature elder brother. His siblings surrounded him and asked him to tell stories non-stop.Once when he was talking about dry mouth, the fifth younger brother Huanhe took out the pocket money he had saved and bought him a bottle of soda.He was very moved and promised to write some novels just for Huanhe.Later, he published "Small Scenery under the Moon", and at the end of almost every article, he solemnly wrote "To Zhang's Xiaowu", and he really fulfilled his promise.

Zhaohe likes this warm scene.I remember the first time he gave a lecture, he was an embarrassing young scholar. Now, his calmness and generosity have exuded a mature charm. The most important thing is that he is very popular with his siblings. Feminine, let her comfort, body and mind are surrounded by happiness.

Soon thereafter, Shen Congwen wrote to Yunhe in Qingdao, asking her to consult Zhang's elders for their opinions on his marriage with Miss Zhaohe.He wrote in the letter: "If Dad agrees, let me know earlier, and let me, a countryman, have a cup of dessert bar."

Zhang Jixuan was extremely enlightened. He advocated that the marriage of his children should be decided by himself, which is regarded as acquiescing to this marriage.In order to inform Shen Congwen of the good news in time, Yunhe and Zhaohe rushed to the post office and sent telegrams to Shen Congwen in Qingdao respectively.Yunhe's telegram has only one word "Yun", which is concise and clear, with puns; Zhaohe's telegram is more like a lyric: "Country people drink a cup of sweet wine." This telegram confuses the sender. A reserved and shy woman with a romantic spring heart and sprouting joy.

On September 1933, 9, Shen Congwen and Zhang Zhaohe, witnessed by their relatives and friends, got married by the side of the water pavilion and flower corridor in the Central Park of Beiping. 9, 33, this is a perfect and happy day, and it is a vow and agreement to stay together for a lifetime, Sansan, I love you forever.

Five years is as short as a blink of an eye, but it looks like endless Qingxiu.A love is a journey. He started from Xiangxi, crossed bridges in many places, saw clouds many times, drank many kinds of wine, but fell in love with a person at his best age.That dark-faced woman made him crazy, and he loved him humblely and persistently. After a long period of training and waiting, he finally got the most satisfactory ending, being her husband and staying with her.

Their love nest is in Daziying, Xicheng, Beiping. The walls of the house are empty. Although they are poor, they are filled with a sweet atmosphere.In the yard, there is a jujube tree and a pagoda tree, reincarnated in spring and autumn, withered and prosperous, so this hut is called "one jujube and one locust tree" by Shen Congwen.He is her affectionate second brother, she is his gentle Sansan, the love of the newlywed life, the warmth of the secular life, these years, happiness is indescribable.

Spring is like love. It opens a flower, a sea of ​​flowers, and gives birth to a leaf, a green city. Its power is unparalleled.Surrounded by tender love, Shen Congwen ushered in the peak writing state of his life.The first drafts of "Border Town" and "Xiang Xing San Ji", which established the peak of his life's creation, were completed in the sweetness of his newly-married, and they were all related to his beloved woman.He once promised Sansan "wait, I will write a novel for you to read", so "Border Town" came into being; when he returned to Xiangxi, he promised to write to her every day to tell her what he saw along the way, so "A Journey to Hunan" came out. Sanji".This master in the history of literature, the love between him and Sansan is the Yuan River in his hometown, the nourishment of creation, and his soul.

On January 1934, 7, Shen Congwen bid farewell to Zhang Zhaohe and returned to his hometown in Xiangxi by water to visit his sick mother.Before leaving, the two made an appointment to send one or two letters every day, and record what they saw on the way, no matter how big or small, in order to comfort each other.

Talented people are enviable. Those true loves fall on the paper with deep affection, like a gentle moon in the water, floating like waves and shadows, making people's heart flutter.Although the road back to Xiangxi is lonely and long, but with love, I can fall asleep with her love words on my pillow, stare at her photos in a daze, think about her longing for her second brother who has traveled far away, and write one after another hot and lingering letters Love letter... what a warm and intoxicating journey.

Dear second brother:
You have been walking for two days, it seems like many days have passed.The weather is bad.After you left, the strong wind also blew up, like a bully, yelling violently everywhere like a madman.At this time, at ten o'clock at night, listening to the strange noises among the branches, I thought that you might be getting off the car, maybe you might be crossing the river, or you might be silently walking the necessary three miles along with a porter carrying luggage.Could the wind in Changsha also roar so mercilessly, turning my second brother's body into a piece of ice?Because of the wind, I was very worried, because I was sitting in a warm room at this time, and the wind made my heart cold.

(Second letter from Zhang Zhaohe to Shen Congwen on January 1934, 1)
I heard you say that this road is as difficult as the Shu Road to the blue sky. Sometimes when I think about it, I regret that I should not urge you to go on the road.If there are any difficulties encountered on the road, how much suffering, and suffering, then the sins, second brother, will be borne by me.But just think about it, when you get home, your family will be excited for you, your old sick mother will be able to smile for you, and the quiet air of the ancient city will definitely be alive for you. Still worth it.Besides, let’s talk about the two eyes here, one heart, in what kind of anxiety and anticipation they sent the day and the night away, suddenly one day, one day, a thin and small body walked in the door, that kind of joy, Oh, that kind of joy, what do you want me to say?

(The first letter from Zhang Zhaohe to Shen Congwen on January 1934, 1)

The boat he took floated on the Yuanshui River, which he traveled in his youth, from Taoyuan to Chenzhou to Luxi, passing Yakewei, Hengshi, and Jiuxi all the way, crossing the rapids and bypassing the dangerous shoals.The clear Yuanshui, the familiar local accent, like her beloved woman, made him unable to control himself.He wrote letters for his Sansan with frozen hands, and drew for her the scenery on both sides of the Strait that he had described to her thousands of times.

He missed his little woman, and wished he could sail with her in his pocket, but he only took her photo and comforted her in the letter: "San San, be good, don't worry, I'm fine! On the boat, I always think of you when I look at it.”

I just look at the water and think about you.When I am happy, I want to be happy with you. When I am bored, I want you to be with me so that I will not be bored.I dined with the ship's owner, and I hope you will dine in the same corner.I still have at least seven more days on board, not counting the descent.You said, what should I do in these seven days?
... I know that it is not appropriate to treat me too well. When I come to you, sometimes I really make you frown. I neglect you. The reason why I neglect you is that you treat me too well and indulge me.But when you get angry, I am different immediately.Now use a personnel matter to separate the two, and use separation to train me. I understand how you control me and lead me!In order to just talk to you, I got under the covers and closed my eyes.Look, how nice this boat is!Listen, how elegant the sound of water is!Listen, the boat is so rattling, it's talking!It said: "Two people can talk and laugh, don't worry about the helmsman. His job is to watch the water, and he is busy." The boat was really rattling.But who am I going to talk to now?I am not happy!
Come chase me in your dream, my boat is yellow, the owner's name is "Tong Songbai", from Taoyuan County.Even though I came here from my dream, I walked westward along the small embankment I drew. Although there are thousands of boats along the river, you will naturally recognize my boat.

(Letter from Shen Congwen to Zhang Zhaohe on January 1934, 1)

Come and chase me in a dream—this affectionate call is more like Yuanshui whose source cannot be seen at a glance, making people intoxicated physically and mentally, unwilling to wake up.Before going out, he planned to spend half the day writing letters and half the day writing articles.But when he got to the ship, he just wanted to write a letter to his sweetheart.

At first I thought I was a person who could stand loneliness, but now I understand that since we are together, I have become a person who cannot leave you... Sansan, I can't bear everything now when I think of you.I am really like the look I used to have when I waited for your reply and couldn't reply.I want to hit things, swear, and let the cold wind blow my whole body.I understand that the farther away I am from you, the closer I get.But no, I have to be with you, so that my heart can be peaceful and things can be done well!I tried how to use these long days to write a novel, but my mind was so confused that I couldn't write anything anyway.

(Letter from Shen Congwen to Zhang Zhaohe on January 1934, 1)

(End of this chapter)