Ji Liangchuan, I have loved you for so many years

Chapter 4 The only thing that is depressed is the pain (2)
Perhaps in the eyes of others, I "have" a lot of love, but in fact, I have never had it. The prosperity and vanity that these men gave me, the loneliness after the vanity, grabbed my feet like a large swamp, and brought me into The quagmire was getting deeper and deeper, and I couldn't extricate myself. When I wanted to get out, I realized that I had already become a different woman. The pure and kind me who used to be dead and disappeared, just like her.

In a trance, I seemed to be sitting in a slowly moving car, leaning on a large and warm chest, falling asleep but seeming to be awake again.

That kind of heart-warming temperature made me greedy and unwilling to leave. It turned out that inadvertently, I started to be mean again.

After an unknown amount of time, I was half-dragged out of the car by the man's powerful hands and came to a bright place.When I could half-open my eyes, a large expanse of brilliant lights in front of me made me think I was in heaven.

I was lying on a white bed, with neatly arranged furniture in front of me. It turned out to be a hotel, where so many men wanted to take me, how many times I escaped by chance, but I still couldn't hide in the end.

I cried, probably because of the alcohol, my thoughts were all muddled.I closed my eyes and let the tears run down the pillowcase.However, when I opened my eyes, the figure of the man was a little blurry, and he turned around to leave.That sense of loneliness flooded my body wantonly, I was afraid, his departure seemed to take away the temperature around me, and made me return to that cold and desolate world, only myself.

I reached out and grabbed the corner of his clothes. I was really drunk, drunk incoherently, and completely drunk.I gently asked him: "Do you love me, or my body?"

He was obviously standing so close, so close that he stood firmly beside my pillow, but I still couldn't see his face clearly.

"Let go, you'd better not touch me now."

A touch of indifference, a touch of tenderness.His voice is magical, a magic that I can't let go of.Drunk and confused, I regarded him as an old lover in the past, so I thought maybe he was my former lover, but we separated, but I still miss him.So, I still held him tightly and asked him: "Can you love me? Simply love me?"

With tears streaming down my eyes and my vision blurred, I looked at him aggrieved and shyly, whether seduced or tempted, anyway, I am this kind of woman, a coquettish woman is terrible, let alone a drunk coquettish woman.

At this time, he seemed to be angry, he pressed his body over without restraint, his lips were a little thin, and pressed heavily on my lips with a dull burning temperature.

We kissed each other like mad, and his kiss made me unable to extricate myself from falling into the abyss.

I was so kissed that I couldn't breathe, but the effect of alcohol made me unable to break free, this is not what I want, no, I want a pure love that will not be betrayed, not like this, but, my body And the brain is all out of control.He is a master kisser and can make a woman as reserved and proud as me so madly captivated in a matter of seconds.

He kissed my cheek and my neck impatiently, and put his hand into my clothes, and at this moment, I also clearly saw his face, with a faint blue light and a little tenderness And gloomy, resolute eyebrows, deep pupils, strong nose bridge, thin lips, I have dated countless good-looking men, but no man's face is more handsome than his.

He became so special in my heart, so far away, so close, so far away that we were just strangers, so close that we hugged each other and felt each other's gradually hot bodies.

It turned out that for the first time, it was so painful that tears would flow down involuntarily.The faint scent of his perfume lingered in my nose, as well as his heavy breathing and my cautious crying.What kind of mood made us all lose our minds and give up our dignity just for this meaningless carnival?

In my dream, I was running in a vast white world, I was just a child, my petite body kept running forward, in front of me were my parents, they were kind and kind, showing me the warmest smile .I threw myself into their arms, and they rubbed my little face affectionately.

Then, I took my father with my left hand and my mother with my right hand, and went home happily.

In that luxurious villa, the three of us ate the simplest home-cooked meals around a table.Mom and Dad were talking about things at work, and occasionally put some vegetables in my bowl, I smirked happily, forgetting that rice grains were still on my lips.And I can also inadvertently find that my father puts the lettuce that my mother likes to eat in her bowl, and my mother also puts the fat meat that my father likes to eat in his bowl.

In my eyes, the love between father and mother is eternal and great. They are so compatible and cherish each other so much.

When I went to school, I carried the latest schoolbag, which was expensive, and the children cast envious eyes on me. I was as proud as a little princess, surrounded by boys and girls.

During the meal, the children sat around me and asked various questions.They all asked me if I was the little princess of a rich family, and I said yes to them heartily.They asked me why I was more beautiful than other girls, and I proudly raised my face and told them loudly: "Because my mother is the most beautiful woman in the world!"

It's just that the dream was broken and shattered, just like me now, the feeling of splitting headache and the memory of yesterday flooded in like a tide.I stared blankly at the pale ceiling in front of me. I didn't need to verify that this was not a dream, because his face was still in my mind, lingering for a long time.

That handsome man, I think, in this life, I will never forget it.

What is the reason, that man can easily take over the strange me?How many times have men tried to get close to me, to kiss me, to have me, and how many times have I refused, ducked, and run away.However, last night, I chose to compromise because of him and sold my heart and soul.

He took away my first kiss and first night overnight.

And that him, I don't know him at all, I don't even know who I gave my first night to.

The bare skin was exposed to the sun, and it was no longer pure, and the only reason for being reserved and proud in my heart no longer existed, because I lost my virginity, and as a woman, I lost the most precious thing.The ridicule of those big women flooded in.Yes, a woman like me will have trouble playing sooner or later. Now, I have really played too much, and trouble has happened.

Now, I am not so much sad as I am laughing at myself. From today, I am a real bitch.Thinking of this, I thought I could let go, but when I saw the little blood on the snow-white bed sheet, I still cried.

I'm just an ordinary girl, really, who can understand my loneliness, who can forgive my mistakes?

Like crazy, I tore off the bloody bed sheet violently, as if tearing away the memory of last night.

A beam of sunlight shone on me, and I was frightened by the scalding temperature, so I ran to bed and covered my body with a sheet.

I frantically picked up the clothes left by the bed and put them on one by one, but I found that one of my underwear belts was missing.
After getting dressed in a hurry, I rushed to the bathroom with the sheets in my arms and washed them desperately, but no matter how much water and tears fell on them, those traces could not be washed off, just like my mistakes cannot be forgiven.I slumped decadently on the bathroom floor, letting the past rush into my mind.

The woman I respected the most, the woman I loved the most, I will never forgive her, but now I am not qualified to hate her anymore, and I am not qualified to raise my head to face men, because now I am worthless up.

Staying alone in that small room for a long time, I thought of my dear little belly, the best buddy in my life, he is so pure, so purely likes me, loves me, and I But let his love become cheap, absurd, and become a joke of others. He is the most sorry person in my life.

I just stuffed the bed sheet into my handbag, got out of the hotel, and got into a taxi.The air was as dull as my mood, and when I turned on my phone, I found text messages and so many missed calls.

It's all Du Xiaohang's and his father's.

Shen Meng, I seemed to have drunk too much yesterday. I came back by myself without knowing what happened. Did anything happen to you?What time did you get home last night?

Still sleeping!Get up quickly!You are too lazy to call back as soon as you see the text message!

It's Du Xiaohang, my dear little belly, forgetfulness is his greatest strength, but fortunately he doesn't remember our quarrel yesterday, how hurtful those conversations were.However, in his heart, the once innocent girl was no longer the same as before.

Another one is from Dad.

Mengmeng, why haven't you come home, dad has been waiting for you to come back.

I was dumbfounded. My father must have gone crazy when he didn’t return home last night. I immediately dialed the phone at home to report safety. After hanging up the phone, my heart calmed down. I held the phone tightly, thinking about that man. shadow.

I must find you, no matter who you are, no matter where you are, I will find you at all costs.

When I got home, my father greeted me anxiously.When he took the bag in my hand, I suddenly felt panic and quickly snatched the bag from his hand.Dad looked at me in confusion and asked, "Mengmeng, what's wrong?"

"No...it's nothing, I'm going back to my room first." I hurriedly left this sentence and went upstairs immediately.

I went back to my room, found a clean set of underwear, and hurried into the bathroom.

When the scalding hot water soaked my whole body, the feeling of being wrapped around my body reminded me of last night again, making me crazy and addicted.

I'm really afraid of things like wine, and a few drinks changed my fate.

At this time, Dad's voice suddenly came from the study and went straight into the bathroom.

"what!?"

I was startled, but at this time, my father's voice was much more relaxed, sounding a little tired: "Okay, I will think about it, please give me some time."

Before I had time to think about it, I came out of the bathroom, dressed in a hurry, hid the bloody sheet at the bottom of the closet, took a deep and desperate look, and walked into the study.

(End of this chapter)