The Complete Works of Lu Xun's Novels

Chapter 15

hesitating

blessing
After all, the end of the year in the old calendar resembles the end of the year the most. Not to mention the villages and towns, even the sky shows the appearance of the approaching New Year.From time to time there was a flash of light among the gray and white heavy evening clouds, followed by a blunt sound, which was the firecrackers sending off the stove; the explosions nearby were even more intense, the deafening sound had not ceased, and the air was already filled with faint gunpowder fragrant.I am returning to my hometown Luzhen on this night.Although it is my hometown, I don't have a home anymore, so I have to temporarily live in Master Lu Si's house.He is my family, a generation older than me, should be called "Fourth Uncle", and he is an old supervising student who lectures on Confucianism.He hasn't changed much from before, just a little older, but he still doesn't have a beard. When we meet, we greet each other.But I know that this is not an excuse to scold me: because he is still scolding Kang Youwei.However, the conversation was never speculative, so I was left alone in the study before long.

I got up very late the next day. After lunch, I went out to see some family members and friends; the same thing happened on the third day.They haven't changed much, they're just getting older, but they're all busy at home, preparing for "blessings".This is the year-end ceremony in Lu Town, where we pay our respects, welcome the God of Fortune, and pray for good luck in the coming year.Killing chickens, slaughtering geese, buying pork, and washing them carefully, the women's arms were soaked red in the water, and some even wore twisted silk silver bracelets.After cooking, put some chopsticks in all directions on this kind of thing, which is called "blessing ceremony". It is displayed on the fifth watch, and incense candles are lit, and the gods of good fortune are respectfully invited to enjoy it, but only men are worshiped. The end is naturally still setting off firecrackers.It’s like this every year, every family—as long as you can afford blessings and firecrackers—it’s the same this year.The sky was getting darker, and it started snowing in the afternoon, the snowflakes were as big as plum blossoms, flying all over the sky, mixed with smoke and busy look, making Luzhen a mess.When I returned to my fourth uncle's study room, the corrugated boards were already white, and the room was lit up brightly, which clearly showed Zhu Tuo's big "Shou" character on the wall, written by the old ancestor Chen Tuan. The old couplets have fallen off, loosely rolled up and placed on the long table, and the one on the other side is still there. The saying is "reasonable and peaceful".Bored, I went to the desk under the window to look, only to see a pile of "Kangxi Dictionary", a "Jin Si Lu Ji Zhu" and a "Si Shu Lin".In any case, I am determined to go tomorrow.

Besides, the thought of meeting Mrs. Xianglin yesterday made me restless.It was afternoon, I went to the east end of the town to visit a friend, and when I came out, I met her by the river; and seeing her staring eyes, I knew that she was coming towards me.Among the people I saw in Lu Town this time, no one has changed as much as hers: the gray hair five years ago is now completely white, not like a person in his forties; his face is extremely thin The color is yellow and black, and the previous sad expression has disappeared, as if it were carved in wood; only the eyeballs are occasionally rounded, which can still indicate that she is a living thing.She held a bamboo basket in one hand.There was a broken bowl inside, which was empty; in one hand, she was leaning on a bamboo pole that was longer than her, and the lower end was cracked: she was clearly a beggar.

I stood still and prepared for her to ask for money.

"Are you back?" she asked first.

"Yes."

"That's just right. You are literate, and you are a traveler. You have a lot of experience. I was about to ask you something—" Her dull eyes suddenly lit up.

I never expected her to say such a thing, and stood there in amazement.

"That is—" She took two steps closer, lowered her voice, and said in a very secretive manner, "After a person dies, does he have a soul?"

I was terrified, seeing her staring at me, felt like a thorn on my back, more panic than when I encountered an unforeseen impromptu exam at school and the teacher was standing beside me. Much more.I have never cared about the existence of a soul; but at this moment, how should I answer her?During a very short period of hesitation, I thought, people here believe in ghosts as usual, "but she was puzzled—or rather hoped: hoped that there was something, and hope that there was no.... Why should people add the hope of the end of the world Anxiety, for her sake, it's better to say there is.

"Perhaps there is—I think," I stammered.

"Then there is also hell?"

"Ah! Hell?" I was very surprised, so I could only hesitate, "Hell? — Logically, there should be one too. — But it's not necessarily true... who cares about such things...."

"Then, can members of the family who died meet each other?"

"Ai ai, will we meet or not?..." At this time, I knew that I was still a complete fool, no hesitation, no plans, I couldn't stop three questions, I immediately became timid, and wanted to turn over everything From the previous words, "That is,... Actually, I can't tell... Actually, I can't tell whether there is a soul or not."

Taking advantage of her not asking any more questions, I walked away and fled back to my fourth uncle's house in a hurry, feeling very uneasy.I thought to myself, I am afraid that this answer may be dangerous to her.She probably felt lonely because of other people's blessings, but could it mean something else? ——Or had some premonition?If there are other meanings, and other things happen because of it, then I should bear some responsibility for my answer....But then I laughed to myself, thinking that occasional things don't have any deep meaning at all, but I just want to scrutinize them carefully. It's no wonder that educators say that they are crazy; The overall situation of the answer, if anything happens, doesn't matter to me anymore.

"Unclear" is a very useful sentence.A brave young man who doesn't know anything, often dares to solve problems for others and choose a doctor. If the result is not good, he will probably become a grievance.At this moment, I feel the need for this sentence even more, even if I talk to a beggar woman, it is absolutely indispensable.

But I always felt uneasy, and after a night, I still remembered it from time to time, as if I had some ominous foreboding feeling. In the gloomy snowy day, in the boring study, the uneasiness became more intense.Why don't you go and go to the city tomorrow.Fuxinglou's stewed shark's fin is a large plate for one yuan, which is cheap and good. I wonder if the price has increased now?Although the friends who traveled together in the past have dispersed, shark fin is a must, even if it is only me...In any case, I am determined to go tomorrow.

Because I often hope that things will not be as expected, and I think that things may not be as expected, but they often turn out to be exactly as expected, so I am afraid that this is the same.Sure enough, a special situation began.In the evening, I heard some people talking together in the inner room, as if they were talking about something, but after a while, the talking stopped, and only the fourth uncle walked away and said loudly:

"Neither sooner nor later, but at this time - this shows that it is a fallacy!"

I was surprised at first, and then very disturbed, as if the words had something to do with me.Try to look outside the door, no one is there.I managed to stay until their day laborer came to make tea before dinner, and I got a chance to inquire about the news.

"Who was fourth master angry with just now?" I asked.

"Isn't Mrs. He Xianglin?" the laborer said briefly.

"Sister Xianglin? What's wrong?" I quickly asked again.

"old."

"Dead?" My heart suddenly constricted, almost jumping up, and my face probably changed color, but he never raised his head, so he didn't notice it at all.I calmed myself down and asked:
"When did you die?"

"When?—last night, or today.—I can't tell."

"How did you die?"

"How did you die? - Didn't you die of poverty?" He replied indifferently, still did not look up at me, and went out.

However, my panic was only a temporary thing. Afterwards, I felt that the upcoming event had passed away, and I did not need to rely on my own "unexplainable" and his so-called "deadly poor" relief, and my heart gradually relaxed; But occasionally, it seems a little guilty.The dinner was set out, and the fourth uncle seemed to accompany him.I also want to inquire about Mrs. Xianglin, but I know that even though he has read "Ghosts and Gods, the Good Energy of Two Qis", there are still many taboos. Yes, if I have to, I should use an alternative adage, but unfortunately I don't know it, so I wanted to ask it many times, but finally stopped.From his stern expression, I suddenly suspected that he thought that I was neither too early nor too late, and that I wanted to disturb him at this time, which was also a fallacy, so I immediately told him that I would leave Luzhen tomorrow, go into the city, and relax as soon as possible. broke his heart.He is not very reserved.Such a boring meal.

In winter, the days are short and snowy again, and the night has already enveloped the whole town.People are in a hurry under the lights, but there is silence outside the window.The snowflakes fell on the thick snow mattress, which seemed to be rustling, which made people feel even more silent.Sitting alone under the yellow vegetable oil lamp, I thought, this bored Mrs. Xianglin, who was abandoned in the dust pile by people, is an old and tired plaything. From the point of view of people who live an interesting life, I am afraid that they are surprised why she still exists, and now she has finally been cleaned up by impermanence.Whether there are souls or not, I don't know; but in this world, those who are bored don't live, even if those who hate seeing don't see, it's not bad for others or for oneself.I listened quietly to the sound of rustling snowflakes outside the window, and while thinking, I gradually became more comfortable.

However, the fragments of her half-life deeds that have been seen and heard before have also been connected into one piece.

She is not from Lu Town.One year at the beginning of winter, when my uncle’s family wanted to change their maidservant, Mrs. Wei brought her in. Her hair was tied with a white rope, she was wearing a black skirt, a blue jacket, and a moon-white vest. She was about 26, with a pale complexion. , but her cheeks were still red.Mrs. Wei called her Mrs. Xianglin, and said that she was a neighbor of her mother's family, who died as the head of the family, so she came out to work.The fourth uncle frowned, and the fourth aunt already knew what he meant, that he hated her for being a widow.But she still looks upright, her hands and feet are strong, and she just obeys the limit without saying a word, very like a hardworking person, so he left her behind regardless of Fourth Uncle's frown.During the trial period, she worked all day long, and she seemed to be bored when she was idle, but she was as strong as a man, so it was a foregone conclusion on the third day, with a monthly salary of [-] renminbi.

Everyone called her Mrs. Xianglin; I didn't ask her what her last name was, but the middle-aged man was from the Wei family, so since she was said to be a neighbor, she probably had the surname Wei.She is not very talkative, and she only answers when people ask, and she doesn't answer much.It wasn't until more than ten days later that I gradually learned that there was a strict mother-in-law and a younger uncle in her family, who was more than ten years old and could collect firewood; she lost her husband in spring; he also collected firewood for a living, ten years younger than her : That's all you know.

The days passed quickly, but her workmanship was relentless, no matter the food, she spared no effort.People said that Master Lu Si hired female workers in his family, and they were actually more diligent than hardworking men.At the end of the year, sweeping the dust, cleaning the floor, slaughtering chickens, geese, and cooking blessings all night were all done by one person, and there were no part-time jobs.However, she was satisfied, a smile gradually appeared on the corner of her mouth, and her face became white and fat.

Just after the new year, when she came back from digging rice by the river, she suddenly turned pale, and said that she saw a few men wandering on the other side from a distance just now, they looked like her husband's cousin, and they probably came here just to find her.The fourth aunt was very surprised and asked for details, but she didn't say anything.As soon as Fourth Uncle knew, he frowned and said:

"It's not good. I'm afraid she escaped."

It is true that she escaped, and it was not long before this supposition was confirmed.

About ten days later, when everyone gradually forgot what happened before, Mrs. Wei suddenly brought in a woman in her 30s, who she said was Mrs. Xianglin's mother-in-law.Although the woman looked like a native of the mountains, she socialized very calmly and was able to speak well. After exchanging pleasantries, she made amends, saying that she had come to send her daughter-in-law home because of the busy business in the beginning of spring, and there were only the old and the young at home. Not enough.

"Since her mother-in-law wants her to go back, what can she say?" said the fourth uncle.

So the wages were calculated, and there was a total of 750 cash, which she kept at the master's house, and she gave it to her mother-in-law even if it was useless.The woman took her clothes again, thanked her, and went out.It was already noon.

"Ah, where's the rice? Isn't Mrs. Xianglin going to wash the rice?..." After a while, the fourth aunt cried out in surprise.She was probably a little hungry, so she remembered lunch.

So everyone split up to look for the basket.She went to the kitchen first, then to the front of the hall, and then to the bedroom, but there was no sign of Tao Luo.The fourth uncle walked out the door, but he didn't see it. He didn't see it until he reached the river, only to see Ping Ping put on the bank, and there was a vegetable next to it.

Those who saw it reported that a white-covered boat had moored in the river in the morning.When Mrs. Xianglin came out to wash the rice, just as she was about to kneel down, two men jumped out of the boat, who seemed to be from the mountains. One hugged her and the other helped her, and she was dragged into the boat.Mrs. Xianglin even cried a few times, but there was no more sound after that, probably blocked by something.Then two women came up, one unknown, and the other was Mrs. Wei.In the spy cabin, it wasn't very clear, she seemed to be lying on the deck tied up.

"Damn it! But..." said the fourth uncle.

On this day, the fourth aunt cooked lunch by herself; their son A Niu lit the fire.

After lunch, Mrs. Wei came again.

"Damn it!" Fourth Uncle said.

"What do you mean? Thanks to you, you will come to see us again." The fourth aunt was washing the dishes, and said angrily as soon as we met, "You recommended her by yourself, and then robbed her together. There was a lot of trouble, everyone. What does it look like? Are you kidding our family?"

"Ah, ah, I was really fooled. This time, I made it clear for this purpose. She came to ask me to recommend a place, and I could have guessed that she was hiding it from her mother-in-law. I'm sorry, fourth master, fourth Ma'am, I always get dizzy and careless, and I'm sorry for my customers. Fortunately, the family has always been magnanimous and refuses to argue with villains. This time I will definitely recommend a good one to atone for my crime..."

"However..." Fourth Uncle said.

So the case of Mrs. Xianglin came to an end, and soon it was forgotten.

Only the fourth sister-in-law, because most of the female workers hired later were either lazy or greedy, or greedy and lazy, which was not satisfactory, so she also mentioned Mrs. Xianglin.At these times, she often said to herself, "What's wrong with her now?" meaning she hoped she would come again.But by the time of Xinzheng in the second year, she was in despair.

As the new year was about to end, Mrs. Wei came to pay New Year's greetings, she was already drunk, and she said that she came late because she went back to her mother's house in Weijiashan and stayed for a few days.During their question and answer, they naturally talked about Mrs. Xianglin.

"Her?" Mrs. Wei said happily, "It's good luck now. When her mother-in-law came to arrest her and go back, she had already promised her to He Lao Liu of the He family, so after a few days after returning home, , and carried it in a sedan chair."

"Ah, such a mother-in-law!..." The fourth aunt said in amazement.

"Ah, my wife! If you are the wife of a rich family, what is it for us mountain people and small families? She has a brother-in-law, and she has to marry a wife. If you don't marry her, then you have the money to do it. Dowry gift? His mother-in-law is a shrewd and capable woman, and she has a lot of plans, so she married her to Lishan. If it was given to the villagers, the betrothal gift is not much; only few women are willing to marry into the wild mountains, so she just I got [-]. Now the second son’s daughter-in-law has also married in, and the wedding ceremony cost [-]. After deducting the wedding expenses, there are more than [-] left. Scary, look, what a good plan it is..."

"Xianglin's sister-in-law is willing to obey?..."

"It doesn't matter whether you insist on it or not. Anyone who wants to make a fuss is going to make a fuss. Just tie it up with a rope, stuff it in a sedan chair, carry it to the man's house, put a flower crown on it, pay homage, close the door, and it's over. But Mrs. Xianglin was really out of the ordinary. I heard that there was a lot of trouble at that time. Everyone said that she was different because she worked in a scholar's house. Madam, we have seen a lot: people who turn back get married, and some cry , There are also those who say they want to seek death and life, some who are carried to the husband's house, and there are some who have broken the sky and the earth, and some who have even smashed the flowers and candles. Xianglin's sister-in-law is unusual. They said that she just howled and cursed all the way. Already completely dumb. When the sedan chair was pulled out, the two men and her brother-in-law held her down vigorously, but they still couldn't worship. If they were not careful, they let go, oh, Amitabha, and she bumped her head against the corner of the incense table. There was a big hole on her head, and the blood flowed out. I used two handfuls of incense ash and wrapped it in two pieces of red cloth, but it still couldn't stop the bleeding. Until I locked her and the man in the new house with all my might, I still scolded, Ah Yeah, this is really..." She shook her head, lowered her eyes, and stopped talking.

"What happened next?" Fourth Aunt asked.

"I heard that I didn't get up the next day." She raised her eyes and said.

"and after?"

"Later? - Woke up. She gave birth to a child at the end of the year, a boy, who will be two years old in the new year. During the few days I was at my mother's house, some people went to Hejiaao and came back to say that they saw their mother and son, mother She is also fat, and her son is also fat; there is no mother-in-law above her, all the man has is strength and can work; the house is her own.—Alas, she is really lucky."

From then on, the fourth aunt never mentioned Mrs. Xianglin again.

But one autumn, about two New Years after receiving the news of Mrs. Xianglin's good fortune, she actually stood in front of my fourth uncle's house again.There is a round water chestnut-shaped basket on the table, and a small bedding under the eaves.She still had a white rope tied around her head, a black skirt, a blue skirt, and a moon-white vest. Her face was blue and yellow, but the blood had disappeared from her cheeks, and there were some tear stains on the corners of her eyes, and her eyes were not as energetic as before.And it was still Mrs. Wei leading the way, showing a compassionate look, Xu Xu said to the fourth aunt:
"...This is really called 'unfortunate weather'. Her man is a solid man. Who knew that he would die of typhoid fever at a young age? He was already cured, but after eating a bowl of cold rice, he relapsed. Fortunately, she has a son; she can do it again, and she can collect firewood, pick tea and raise silkworms, and she can still keep it, but who knows that the child will be bitten by wolves? Spring is almost over, and wolves are coming to the village. Who would have thought So? Now she has only one naked body left. The uncle came to collect the house and chased her away. She really had nowhere to go, so she had to come to the old master. Fortunately, she has nothing to worry about now, and the wife's family has to change , so I brought her here.—I thought it would be better to know the way than a novice..."

(End of this chapter)