The Complete Works of Lu Xun's Novels

Chapter 16

"I'm so stupid, really," Mrs. Xianglin raised her dull eyes and continued. "I only know that when it snows, wild beasts will come to the village because they have nothing to eat in the valley; Amao sat on the threshold and peeled beans. He was very obedient, and he listened to my every word; he went out. I was chopping firewood behind the house, digging out rice, the rice was in the pot, and I wanted to steam beans. My name is Amao, There was no answer, so I went out to have a look, and saw that the beans were scattered all over the ground, and our Amao was gone. He didn’t go to other houses to play; I asked around, and sure enough, there was nothing. I was in a hurry, and the people went out to look for it. In the second half of the day, I searched and searched for the mountain, and saw one of his little shoes hanging on the thorn wood. Everyone said, it's too bad, I'm afraid it was caught by a wolf. Go in again; he was indeed lying in the grass nest , all the internal organs in my stomach have been emptied, and I still hold the little basket tightly in my hands..." She continued to sob, unable to utter a sentence.

Fourth Aunt hesitated at first, but after hearing her own words, the circles of her eyes turned red.After thinking about it, she taught her to take the round basket and bedding to the servant's room.Mrs. Wei let out a sigh as if she had relieved a heavy burden from her shoulders. Mrs. Xianglin looked more relaxed than when she first came, and she laid down the bedding in a familiar manner without waiting for guidance.From then on, she worked as a female worker in Lu Town again.

Everyone still calls her Mrs. Xianglin.

This time, however, her situation changed drastically.Two or three days after starting work, the masters felt that her hands and feet were not as flexible as before, her memory was much worse, and there was no smile on her corpse-like face all day long. Fourth Aunt's tone was quite dissatisfied.When she first arrived, although the fourth uncle frowned as usual, he didn't have much objection in view of the difficulty of employing female workers. He just warned the fourth aunt secretly that although such people seem pitiful, they are corrupt. It's okay to use her to help, but you don't need to touch her hands during the sacrifice, and you have to cook all the meals by yourself, otherwise, the ancestors will not eat them if they are not clean.

The most important event in the fourth uncle's house is the sacrifice, which was the busiest time for Xianglin's sister-in-law before, but this time she is free.The table was placed in the center of the hall, and the table curtain was tied. She still remembered to distribute the wine glasses and chopsticks as usual.

"Sister-in-law Xianglin, just leave it alone! I'll set it up." Fourth Aunt said hurriedly.

She retracted her hand embarrassingly, and went to get the candlestick again.

"Sister Xianglin, leave it alone! I'll get it." Fourth Aunt said hurriedly again.

She turned around a few times, and finally had nothing to do, so she walked away in doubt.All she could do that day was sit by the stove and light a fire.

People in the town still called her Mrs. Xianglin, but the tone was very different from before; they still talked to her, but their smiles were cold.She ignored those things, just kept her eyes straight, and told everyone her own story that she never forgot day and night:
"I'm so stupid, really," she said, "I only know that the snow is a wild animal that has no food in the mountains and will come to the village; I didn't know there would be spring too. I opened the door early in the morning, I took a basket of beans in a small basket and asked our Amao to sit on the threshold and peel the beans. He was a very obedient boy, and he listened to my every word; he went out. I was chopping firewood and washing rice behind the house. The rice was in the pot, and I was going to steam the beans. I called, 'A Mao!' No answer. I went out and saw the beans scattered all over the ground, and our Amao was gone. I asked everywhere, but there was no one. I was anxious The central people went to look for it. Until the second half of the day, several people searched for the mountain and saw a small shoe of his hanging on the thorn wood. Everyone said, it’s over, I’m afraid I’ve been caught by a wolf; go in again; sure enough , He was lying in the grass nest, all the internal organs in his stomach had been emptied, it's a pity that he is still holding that little basket tightly in his hand..." Then she shed tears and her voice sobbed.

This story is quite effective. When the men hear this, they often hold back their smiles and walk away bored; but the women not only seem to forgive her, but immediately change their contemptuous expressions on their faces, and shed a lot of tears to accompany her.Some old women did not hear her words on the street, so they came here specially to hear her tragic story.When she talked about sobbing, they all shed the tears that stopped at the corners of their eyes, sighed, and went away satisfied, while commenting one after another.

She just told people her tragic story repeatedly, which often attracted three or five people to listen to her.But soon, everyone became familiar with it, and even the most compassionate old ladies who recited the Buddha's name no longer had a trace of tears in their eyes.Later, people in the whole town could almost recite her words, and when they heard it, they got tired and had a headache.

"I'm so stupid, really," she began.

"Yes, you came to the village only because you knew that the snow beasts had nothing to eat in the deep mountains." They immediately interrupted her and walked away.

She stood there in a daze with her mouth open, looked at them straight in the eyes, and then left, as if she felt bored too.But she still had delusions, hoping to draw out the story of her Amao from other things, such as the little basket, the beans, and other people's children.Whenever she saw a child of two or three years old, she would say:
"Alas, if our Amao is still here, he will be this big..."

The child was startled when he saw her eyes, and held his mother by the skirt to urge her to leave.So she was the only one left, and finally left bored. Later, everyone knew her temper. Whenever there was a child in front of them, they would ask her first with a half-smile, saying:
"Sister Xianglin, if your Amao is still here, wouldn't he be this old?"

She may not know that her sorrow has been chewed and appreciated by everyone for many days, and it has already become dross, which is only worthy of disgust and spurn; but from people's smiles, it seems that it is cold and sharp, and there is no need for her to speak.She just glanced at them without answering a word.

Luzhen always celebrates the New Year, and it gets busy after the [-]th of the twelfth lunar month.Fourth Uncle's family had to hire a male part-time worker this time, but they were still too busy, so they asked Mama Liu to help her kill chickens and geese.Aside from lighting the fire, Mrs. Xianglin had nothing else to do, but she just sat and watched Mama Liu wash the dishes.A little bit of snow came down.

"Ah, I'm so stupid," Xianglin's Wife looked at the sky, sighed, and said in a single voice.

"Sister-in-law Xianglin, you're here again." Mother Liu said impatiently, looking at her face. "Let me ask you: isn't the scar on your forehead the result of the crash?"

"Yeah." She answered with a smile.

"Let me ask you: How did you become a believer then?"

"Me?...",
"You. I think: this is always your own will, otherwise..."

"Ah, you don't know how strong he is."

"I don't believe it. I don't believe that you have such great strength. You really won't be able to hold him back. You must have agreed to it yourself later, and it was said that he was strong."

"Ah, you... you should try it yourself." She smiled.

Liu Ma's wrinkled face also laughed, making her shrunk like a walnut. Her small dry eyes looked at Sister Xianglin's forehead, and then fixed her eyes again.Mrs. Xianglin seemed very embarrassed, she immediately suppressed her smile, turned her eyes, and looked at Xuehua herself.

"Sister-in-law Xianglin, you're really not worth it." Mama Liu said secretly. "Just try again, or just beat him to death. Now, you and your second man have lived for less than two years, and you have fallen into a serious crime. You think, you will go to the underworld, then The men of the two dead ghosts are still fighting, who should you give to? The king of Yan Luo had to saw you open and give them to them. I think this is really..."

A look of terror appeared on her face, which was unknown in the mountain village.

"I think, you might as well get there as soon as possible. You go to the earth temple and donate a threshold as your substitute, and let thousands of people step on it, and ten thousand people step on it, and redeem the crimes of this life, so that you don't have to die and suffer."

She didn't answer anything at the time, but she was probably very depressed. When she woke up the next morning, there were big black circles around her eyes.After breakfast, she went to the Earth Temple at the west end of the town to ask for donations. Miaozhu insisted on not allowing it at first, but she reluctantly agreed until she was so anxious that she burst into tears.The price is twelve thousand dollars.

She has not talked to people for a long time, because the story of Amao has long been disliked by everyone; but since talking with Liu Ma, it seems that it has spread again, and many people have a new interest and come to tease her again .As for the topic, it was naturally a new one, focusing on the scar on her forehead.

"Sister Xianglin, let me ask you: Why did you agree then?" said one.

"Oh, it's a pity, I bumped into this for nothing." One looked at her scar and agreed.

From their smiles and tone of voice, she also knew that they were laughing at her, so she always stared and didn't say a word, and then didn't even look back.She kept her lips tightly closed all day long, and with the scar on her head that everyone considered a shameful mark, she silently ran around, sweeping the floor, washing vegetables, and washing rice.It was almost a year before she took the accumulated wages from her fourth aunt, exchanged it for 12 yuan in Yingyang, and asked for leave to go to the west end of the town.But before the end of the meal, she came back, with a very relaxed look and bright eyes, and said happily to her fourth aunt that she had already donated the threshold to the Earth Temple.

During the winter solstice ancestor worship season, she worked harder, watching the fourth aunt set up the sacrifice, and A Niu lifted the table to the center of the hall, she calmly went to get the wine glass and chopsticks.

"Leave it alone, Mrs. Xianglin!" Fourth Aunt hurriedly said loudly.

She withdrew her hands as if she had been scorched, her face turned gray and black at the same time, and she didn't go to fetch the candlestick anymore, just stood there absentmindedly.She didn't go away until fourth uncle taught her to go away when he was offering incense.This time she changed a lot. On the second day, not only her eyes were sunken, but her spirit was even worse.She was also very timid, not only afraid of dark nights, but also of dark shadows, even if she saw someone, even if he was her own master, she would always feel alarmed, just like a mouse walking around out of its hole in daylight; otherwise, it would just sit like a puppet.In less than half a year, my hair also turned gray, and my memory was particularly bad, to the extent that I often forgot to wash the rice.

"What happened to Mrs. Xianglin? It's better not to keep her at that time." The fourth aunt sometimes said this to her face, as if to warn her.

However, she is always like this, and there is no hope of becoming wiser.So they wanted to send her away and teach her to go back to Mrs. Wei.But when I was still in Luzhen, I just said this; looking at the current situation, it can be seen that it was finally implemented later.But did she become a beggar right away from her fourth uncle's house, or did she go to Mrs. Wei's house first and then become a beggar?Then I don't know.

I was awakened by the loud sound of firecrackers because I was nearby, saw the yellow lights as big as beans, and then heard the crackling firecrackers. It was the fourth uncle's family who were "blessing"; I knew it was the fifth watch. almost time.I was in a trance, and vaguely heard the continuous sound of distant firecrackers, which seemed to form a dense cloud of noise in the sky, sandwiched with whirling snowflakes, enveloping the whole town.I am also lazy and comfortable in this noisy embrace, the doubts from the day to the first night, all the blessings of the air are swept away, I only feel that the saints of heaven and earth have enjoyed the offerings and cigarettes, and they are all drunk in the air Staggering, ready to give infinite happiness to the people of Lu Town.

February [-], [-]
This article was originally published on March 25, 20, No. [-], Volume [-], No. [-] of "Oriental Miscellany"
in the restaurant

I traveled from the north to the southeast, visited my hometown by detour, and went to S city.This city is only thirty miles away from my hometown, and it takes half a day to get there by boat. I once worked as a teacher in a school here for a year.After the snow in the deep winter, the scenery is desolate, the combination of laziness and nostalgia, I actually stayed temporarily in the Luosi Hotel in S City; this hotel did not exist before.The city circle is not big, so I searched for a few old colleagues who I thought I could meet, but none of them were there.In less than two hours, my interest has long since faded, and I regret that I have been so troublesome here.

The hotel I live in rents rooms and does not sell food. The food must be ordered separately, but it is tasteless and tastes like chewing mud.Outside the window there are only stained and mottled walls covered with dead berry moss; above is the lead-colored sky, which is absolutely white, and the light snow is flying again.I was not full for lunch and had nothing to do for entertainment, so I naturally thought that there was a small restaurant I was familiar with before, called Yishiju, which was not far from the hotel.I immediately locked the door and went out to the restaurant.In fact, it's just to escape the boredom among customers for the time being, and it's not just to get drunk.The Stone House is still there, and the small, damp storefront and dilapidated signboards are still there; but there is no acquaintance from the shopkeeper to the waiter, and I have become a complete stranger in this Stone House.However, I finally stepped up the familiar escalator in the corner of the room, and from there I went up to the small building.There are still five small board tables above; only the rear window, which was originally a wooden lattice, has been replaced with glass.

"A catty of Shaojiu. — Vegetables? Ten pieces of fried tofu and more chili sauce!"

Saying this to the waiter who came up with me, I walked towards the rear window and sat down at a table by the window.The upstairs is "empty", so I can choose the best seat: I can overlook the abandoned garden downstairs.This garden probably does not belong to the restaurant. I have looked at it many times before, sometimes in snowy weather.But now, from the eyes accustomed to the north, it is quite surprising: a few old plums are actually blooming with flowers, as if they don’t care about the deep winter; there is a camellia tree beside the collapsed pavilion, which has been growing since A dozen or so red flowers stand out from the dense green leaves, their splendor shining like fire in the snow, angry and arrogant, as if willing to travel far away while despising tourists.At this time, I suddenly thought of the moistness of the snow here, lingering, crystal clear and shiny, not as dry as the powder of new snow, when a strong wind blows, it will fly up and fill the sky like smoke. ...

"Guest, wine..."

The waiter said lazily, put down the cup, chopsticks, jug and dishes, the wine arrived.I turned to the board table, arranged the utensils, and poured out the wine.I feel that the north is certainly not my old hometown, but coming from the south can only be regarded as a guest. No matter how the dry snow falls over there, or how attached the soft snow here is, it doesn't matter to me anymore.I was a little sad, but took a sip of wine comfortably.The taste of the wine is very pure; the fried tofu is also cooked very well; it is a pity that the chili sauce is too weak, and the people of S City do not know how to eat spicy food.

Probably because it was in the afternoon, this could be called a restaurant, but it didn't look like a restaurant. I had already drank three glasses of wine, and there were still four empty tables beside me.Looking at the abandoned garden, I gradually felt lonely, but I didn't want other drinkers to come up.Occasionally, he heard footsteps on the stairs, and he couldn't help but feel a little annoyed. He didn't feel relieved until he saw it was the waiter, so he drank two more glasses of wine.

I thought it must be a drinker this time, because the footsteps I heard were much slower than the waiter's.About the time he finished walking the stairs, I raised my head to look at this innocent companion in fear, and stood up in surprise at the same time.I unexpectedly met a friend here by accident—if he still allows me to call him a friend now.The person who came up was obviously my old classmate, and also an old colleague from the time when I was a teacher. Although his appearance has changed a bit, he was familiar with him at first sight, but his unique movements have become extremely slow, unlike the agile and capable Lu Weifu back then. .

"Ah, Weifu, is that you? I never expected to meet you here."

"Ah, it's you? I never would have guessed..."

I invited him to sit with me, but he seemed to hesitate before sitting down.I was surprised at first, then sad and unhappy.Looking closely at his appearance, he still has a disheveled beard and hair; his pale square face is thinner.He is energetic and calm, or rather depressed, and the eyes under his thick and black eyebrows have also lost their brilliance, but when he slowly looks around, he suddenly flashes the shooting eyes that I often saw in school when he looked at the waste garden. come light.

"We," I said happily, but rather unnaturally, "it may have been ten years since we parted. I knew you were in Jinan, but I was too lazy to write a letter.  … "

"They're all the same. But now I've been in Taiyuan for more than two years, with my mother. When I came back to pick her up, I knew you had moved away, and it was very clean."

"What are you doing in Taiyuan?" I asked.

"Teaching, in a fellow countryman's home."

"What happened before?"

"Before this?" He took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit it, and held it in his mouth. Looking at the smoke, he said thoughtfully, "It's nothing more than doing some boring things. Do."

He also asked me about the situation after the farewell; while I told him an outline, I asked the waiter to bring the cups and chopsticks first, so that he could drink my wine first, and then go to add two catties.We ordered dishes during the period. We were not polite before, but now we gave in. Finally, we couldn’t tell who ordered which one, so we specified four dishes from the waiter’s verbal report: fennel beans, jelly beans, etc. Meat, fried tofu, dried herring.

"As soon as I came back, I thought I was ridiculous." With a cigarette in one hand and a wine glass in the other, he said to me with a half-smile. "When I was a teenager, I saw a bee or a fly stop at one place, and when I was frightened by something, it flew away immediately, but after flying in a small circle, it came back and stopped at the same place. Poor. I didn’t expect to fly back myself, but in a small circle. I didn’t expect you to come back too. Can’t you fly farther?”

"It's hard to say, it's probably just a small detour." I also said with a half-smile. "But why did you fly back?"

"It's still for boring things." He drank a glass of wine in one gulp, took a few puffs of cigarettes, and his eyes were slightly dilated. "Boring.—But let's talk."

The waiter brought in newly added food and wine, filling up the tables, and the smoke and the heat of fried tofu from the upstairs seemed to be lively; outside the building, the snow was falling more and more.

"Perhaps you knew," he went on, "that I once had a little brother who died at the age of three and was buried here in the country. I don't even remember what he looked like, but my mother said it was A very cute child, and I am also very congenial, and she still seems to cry when she mentions it. This spring, a cousin sent a letter, saying that his grave has been gradually flooded, and he will soon be afraid. If I'm going to fall into the river, I have to find something quickly. My mother was very anxious when she found out, and she couldn't sleep for several nights——she can read letters by herself. But what can I do? I have no money, no time: There was no law at that time.

(End of this chapter)