A Collection of Old Sayings by Fourth Sister You

Chapter 42 Forbidden Court (42)
I can't bear the pain in my heart, I can't bear lovesickness, it's my mistake. (1)
If you were in normal times, with your loved ones by your side, you must feel that there are no more regrets in the world.But now there is a layer of separation, even if people are in front of them, it is still difficult to get close.

He was always hoping that she would be honest with him and tell about Yun Guan's coming to find her.He didn't want her to do anything else, as long as she said it, the war of men would not involve her.However, he knew it was impossible, Yunguan was the most beautiful sustenance for her when the love first started, she liked him, even loved him.Now is the moment of life and death, her conscience and morality will not allow her to do so.She probably thought that the world would be peaceful if she kept her mouth shut. He and Yun Guan could not be compared in the end. Even though she was his queen, half of her heart could not be taken back, she still sympathized with Yun Guan.

He had no choice but to sigh.Her feet slowed down a bit, "Did the Queen rest well last night?"

She paused, lowering her eyelashes.He looked over from the side and saw that her eyes were slowly turning red, but he still nodded, "The concubine is resting well, thank you for your concern."

He finally stopped and said in a low voice, "The queen rested well, but I stayed up all night."

She stood opposite him, not daring to look at him, she twisted her handkerchief and said sorry, "It's my fault for making you angry."

He wanted to blame her, but seeing her pitiful appearance, how could he bear to be harsh?Whoever uses deep affection will be at a disadvantage, and love is also a game.Blame myself for being too stubborn, there are so many women waiting for him to love, but he still likes her.Why?Not because of her beautiful face.He knows his own faults, he is afraid of getting along with strangers, and he is still like this to this day.It just so happened that she gave him nine months, and she was willing to listen and communicate, so he didn't have to worry about her impatience.The fear was hidden behind the letters, and the unspeakable words were expressed through pen and ink. The nine months of water dripped through stone, even if she once regarded him as someone else, it was enough to make his heart move.

He lowered his hands, looking lonely, "I'm not angry, just a little sad."

She became more sad when she heard the words, choked up and said: "Officials... don't be sad."

His nose was slightly sore, he nodded and said: "I know you still need time, don't worry, we have a lifetime." After hesitating for a while, he took her hand, "Queen, will you stay with me forever? If one day I I am no longer the master of the big battle-axe, if I become someone else's prisoner..."

She looked at him anxiously, as if frightened by the picture he drew.He had been there since she entered the Forbidden Court, such a glorious presence.She didn't dare to imagine how tragic it would be for him to fall from a height. Everyone had no way to retreat, and one step back would lead to an abyss.She held his hand tightly, but didn't know how to answer.She is a humble person, she is reluctant to part with Yun Guan and him.Maybe all she can do is to comfort the loser, at least she will still be there after losing her country.

She forced a smile, "Why do the officials say that? If it's unlucky, don't compare it to this kind of thing."

His eyes were deep, he looked at her fixedly, and laughed at himself: "Yes, if I walk out of Zichen Palace, I'm afraid I won't even be able to survive. How can I accompany you?"

"When a courtier or concubine marries into an official family, she must share weal and woe with the official family."

She spoke firmly, and he listened silently, understanding the meaning of her words.You can't be rich and honored, but you can share adversity. If you are really stupid, you can do it as a funeral for failure.

He said yes, "The queen is affectionate and righteous, which is admirable. But you have to remember that you are married to me, and your fate is only related to me. I am here for a day, and you enjoy honor, and the mountains and rivers are at your feet; If I'm not here, the empress will be the most pitiful person in the world." He caressed her face and said softly, "Nobody's promise counts. It's true that you live in the main palace and hold the seal of the Phoenix. It seems that for Queen, I also want to live for a long time. Because I am afraid that if I make a mistake, no one will be able to protect you."

After he finished speaking, he went straight forward with his hands behind his back, and Yun Hua stood there, feeling like a knife was twisting his heart.She understood what he meant, the emperor and the courtiers, so did the empress.So she never thought about competing with power, she was not born in the center of desire, even if she is not a queen, she can still live.

Xu Shanggong called her from the side, and she came to her senses, and she had already arrived in front of Yisheng Pavilion today.Chiying came out to greet him, recovering from a long illness, his body was as limp as catkins, but it was more charming.Owing to accept blessings, probably because of dizziness, when he got up, he staggered and threw himself into Imakami's arms impartially.

Zong Hua watched from a distance, somewhat hurt.But looking back, thinking about it, I was so ambiguous that I couldn't keep him after all.If he wants to spoil others, let him go!

She walked slowly, and when she arrived at the pavilion, only Shang Gong came to welcome her.It doesn't matter, serving Jinshang is more important than welcoming her.Going into the cabinet, today sat in front of a viewing fence, and Chiying withdrew to give her a blessing, "The sage is here? I haven't been in good health for the past two days, and I haven't gone to Qingning Palace to pay my respects. Instead, I called It's a sin for a saint to come to see me."

She smiled and shook her head, "Don't worry about these little things, are you better now?"

Chiying served her tea, and said: "Thank you saint for thinking about it, it's much better now. It's just that the person who poisoned has not been found out, and I can't swallow this breath in my heart."

She was also very helpless, "I urged the provincial government to investigate and deal with it several times, but after interrogating many people in turn, there was no progress at all."

"In the past few days since I entered the palace, I have asked myself what my duty is, and I have never had any grudges against anyone. Who would harm me? Besides, this person is quite skillful, and he does it so impeccably. I think he is a thoughtful master!" She turned to Jinshang. , sadly said, "The government wants to make decisions for me, and my concubine almost died. Now I think about it, I still feel scared, I can't just let it go."

Today I nodded, "I will give you an explanation sooner or later, the noble concubine just rest assured. Right now the most important thing is to maintain a healthy body. After a while, the Wurong envoys will come to the axe, so we can make an exception and let the noble concubine meet."

Chiying was very happy to hear that, and said with a smile: "I'm really homesick. The officials are considerate, and the concubine is very grateful. The official and the saint came just in time. Today is the concubine's birthday. The concubine ordered people to prepare drinks. Invite officials and saints to drink together."

How could Yanhua be in the mood to eat and drink, so he just declined politely, "I can't drink, staying here will be a disappointment. You are now in peace, and a stone in my heart has finally fallen to the ground. I haven't touched the old ginseng rewarded by the Queen Mother last time. Let someone send it to you to make up your body. If there is anything missing, you can order someone to come back to me! I have something to do in the palace, so I will go back first."

Chi Ying looked very disappointed, "It's a rare opportunity, and it happens that the officials and saints are here..." He said eagerly looking at Jinshang, "What about the officials? Do you have something to do?"

Yun Hua held his breath and listened, but now he said: "Since it's your birthday, let's buy you a cup of birthday wine here!"

Chiying immediately beamed with joy, and hurriedly ordered Shang Gong to prepare.Yun Hua got up and said with a smile: "It's rare for the official family to be free, and the lady is good to serve you." As he spoke, he saluted upwards, and retreated with his wide sleeves tucked in.

Feeling like running away, after walking out of Yisheng Pavilion, a gust of wind blew in front of me, and my mind became clearer.His heart ached, and his throat seemed to be stuffed with cotton, so he didn't care about it.Back in the Yongjin Palace, I fiddled with her fragrant beads in a daze, and while the flower mud was half soft, I leaned against the window and took the needles to open my eyes one by one.Counting, fifteen, almost enough to string together.

Chunwo came to bring her soup, lifted the lid and handed it to her, "You're back so soon?"

She murmured, "Today is the imperial concubine's birthday, please prepare some birthday gifts for me. I wanted to invite me to drink, but I can't drink. Anyway, she wants to stay in the official family, so I resigned, so as not to It's an eyesore there."

Chunwo looked at her in surprise, usually extremely narrow-minded, but today was uncharacteristically, it seemed that she really encountered a big problem.

"If you have something to do, be sure to say it. You will get sick if you are bored in your stomach." Chunwo thought for a while, "Or if you don't like to tell me, go to Tianzhang Pavilion to meet Mr. Cui. Mr. Cui The world is clear, you go to him for advice, he will not harm you."

In fact, no one can help her, but it is okay to visit Cui Zhuzi and chat about the daily life.For a while now, I have been obsessed with love for my children, so I put down all the books.All day long, people are getting more and more impetuous, and before they make a decision, they collapse first.

According to the time, let him lead the way, take a walk in the garden for a while, and then go west along the corridor in front of Xiangluan Pavilion.Sange is a place full of books, far away from the hustle and bustle and worldly affairs, it is quite different from the Forbidden City, and the troubles will disappear in it.

Cui Zhuyu has been promoted to a bachelor's degree. He is wearing a green uniform and a curly-footed headband. He is holding a few scrolls of ancient paintings to dry in the open space outside the pavilion.Seeing her coming, he gave a long bow, "Why does the sage come to Tianzhang Pavilion when he is free?"

He stood in the sunlight with bright eyes.An upright and open-minded person has a calm and stable demeanor at all times.She bowed to him as she did in school before, "I haven't seen the teacher for a long time, I have free time today, come and have a look."

Cui Zhuyu smiled warmly, turned around and led the way under the pavilion, "Today's weather is suitable, and the sage can broaden his mind when he goes out for a walk. Sometimes when he stays in one place for a long time, his emotions and anger are inexplicably restrained by others, which is not good. The sage can practice calligraphy recently ?”

She was a little ashamed, shook her head and said: "I don't know what I'm busy with, and I'm getting lazy. I have encountered some things recently, and I have no foundation in my heart, and I want to ask my husband for advice. I remember that my husband taught me not to be heard by others. Don't say anything; don't know what you want, and don't do it. But many times you can't do it, so what should you do?"

Cui Zhuyu asked her to sit down, and said in a slow voice: "Be honest, have no regrets, forgive no complaints, be kind without injury, and endure without humiliation. These mantras, the sage has been familiar with since he was a child, but now that he is older, he has forgotten it?"

She lowered her head. In fact, those vague words did not help her current situation.She glanced at him and began to hesitate whether to tell him about Yun Guan.Cui Zhuyu is her mentor, the reason why she entered the Great Yue Forbidden Court is because of her willful entrustment at that time.Now her honor and disgrace are related to his fate, if he continues to stay in the prison, he may be involved in a storm.

She folded her hands together, and said after a deep thought: "Sir, please resign. I'll ask someone to make arrangements to pay for it. Mister is going to another country, so don't stay in Dayaxe."

He didn't seem surprised, and made a cup of tea and handed it to her, "But what happened? It's easy for me to leave, but I'm just worried about you. You will suffer sooner or later in this ban."

A burst of soreness rushed to the bridge of her nose, and she barely suppressed her tears, "So I know I made a mistake, and I shouldn't have come to make a kiss, but now it's too late to regret it." She glanced left and right, and the yellow gate was standing in the distance, Not afraid of being overheard, he said, "It would be great if I could walk with my husband, but unfortunately I can't, I'm afraid I will die in Da Nei. Unlike my husband, you are free, you can go as far as you can. Four months ago, I was so ambitious that I wanted to come to Yue Kingdom to avenge Yun Guan, but in the end, the revenge was not fulfilled, and I turned myself into a fool. I persuaded my husband to leave for the sake of my husband. If I stay longer, I am afraid that one day To set yourself on fire."

He still looked indifferent, "The sage has been under my door for more than ten years, if you have something in your heart, you might as well say it, can the sage still trust me?"

She thought for a long time in silence, "Sir, I promised him this, and no one would say anything, but I don't know what to do in the future, so I can only ask Mr. for advice. I went to the Princess Rong's mansion after the Autumn Club yesterday. , I met a person in the Princess Mansion."

He raised his eyes and asked, "Who is it?"

She murmured and said: "It's Yun Guan."

He was taken aback, "Isn't he dead?"

Yung Hua nodded and said: "At that time someone replaced him, he took advantage of the chaos and escaped from Bianliang, then wandered outside the pass, and did not return to Dayaxe until recently."

Cui Zhuyu made a long cry, "No wonder you want me to go, is it because you are afraid that I will be involved in this dispute? Actually, you don't have to worry about me. The one who needs to calm down the most right now is yourself. I know you are in a difficult situation. The original hatred It was a misunderstanding. Now that Yun Guan is alive, the grievances between you and Jinshang are no longer deep-rooted. Let me ask you, how do you plan to deal with yourself? One side is a lover, and the other is a husband, how do you choose?"

She held her face in her hands in a daze, and murmured: "I don't know, my mind is in a mess and I can't think of anything."

Her dilemma has actually shown her attitude.Whenever there is a slight hesitation, it means that she is beginning to waver, and her feelings for Yun Guan are obviously not as good as before.Cui Zhuyu said: "If you were to kill Imakami, would you still be able to do it?"

There was a cold light in his eyes, she looked at him blankly, shook her head very slowly for a while, "I don't want to get involved."

There was nothing to say between the two, the master and the apprentice just sat quietly, Cui Zhuyu finally sighed, "Your current position, Yun Guan should be very sad if he knows it. Losing the country, losing the lover, today is the big winner. If I were him, I would soon Knowing that you have to face all this when you come back, it is better to wander outside for the rest of your life. I have friendship with him, but in any case, I am your husband first, and whether you are happy or not is what I care about most. You said earlier that you don’t want to participate , I think this may be the best choice at the moment. Yun Guan is alone and alone, and I am afraid it will not be so easy to fight against Jinshang. Maybe in the end, you will have to follow the old path. You are a person from the inner circle , everything has nothing to do with you, as long as today loves you, you will not be affected in any way. Listen to me, don’t have any grievances with today, you only rely on him in the ban. Don’t forget, there is another Princess Wurong, once the noble concubine is favored, Wurong joins forces with Dayue, not only Yun Guan's life is in danger, but Sui Kingdom is also in danger."

She had thought of all this beforehand, but she was just in a daze and couldn't figure it out.After he dialed again, the cloud cleared and the fog cleared instantly.

"Just what about Yunguan? I'm afraid something will happen to him. He must not be willing to listen to people's persuasion now..."

Cui Zhuyu frowned and stared at her, "So you have to get along well with Jinshang, if Yun Guan falls into his hands, you can at least intercede for him."

plead?I'm afraid this kind of thing is very hanging, but it is still a retreat anyway, she agreed, "When will you resign, sir?"

"Me?" He looked at His Excellency Tianzhang's huge plaque in a blink of an eye. "When the dust settles, we can decide whether to go or stay. The saint has been here for a while, so go back. If you sit for too long, you may cause gossip."

After hearing this, she left her seat and went out of the pavilion, and after taking two steps, she turned around and told: "If you have anything to do, sir, just send Huangmen to Yongjindian to return to me."

He nodded and said good, "You must remember what I said, and you must know how to control your emotions. Today is a smart person, don't try to please, just pretend that Yun Guan has never appeared before. The deeper your relationship with Jinshang, the more you love yourself. The more beneficial it is. Even if you live up to the Queen Mother Guo's entrustment, at least you can keep Suiguo safe, and you have tried your best."

She has always had no doubts about Cui Zhuyan, and also believes that Mr. Cui is doing it for her own good.As he said, Yunguan's affairs can be ignored, Suiguo's affairs always have vital interests.

When she came to Tianzhang Pavilion, she couldn't return empty-handed. She went to the pavilion and picked up two volumes of the Shurangama Sutra before returning to Qingning Palace.When entering the palace gate, Chunwo was assigning someone to carry out the incense burner to remove the ashes, and when she saw her coming back, she followed her into the palace.She put down the scriptures, stretched her sleeves and sat on the low couch under the window, she turned her sides and said: "It's almost time, has the official's family returned to Funing Palace?"

Chunwo replied with some hesitation, "The person who arranged to be in front of the imperial concubine sent a message back, saying that the official's family drank two more... they rested in Yisheng Pavilion at noon."

The scripture scroll in her hand fell, and the scroll hit the table with a muffled sound.

Now it's all right, I really can't hold back...

When upset, Xu Shanggong came in and sent a message that Qin Rang was asking to see him outside the hall.She hurriedly responded, "Please come in, Qin Gaopin."

Qin Rang entered the hall with his hands down and bowed, "Greetings to the saint."

She nodded, "Gao Pin is here, last time I made a fuss in Funing Palace, and I didn't ask about it later, can the officials punish you?"

Qin Rang said with a smile, "Not only did the officials not punish, but they also promoted the minister to two ranks. Now the minister is the enshrined official in Neixitou, and he has been promoted to the vice-deputy class. You know, it's all the grace of the saints to the minister. "

Yan Hua was very happy when he heard that, "I'm afraid I'll bring you trouble, so that's good, I'm relieved."

(End of this chapter)