Becoming a Senior Sister Lingshan

Chapter 297 Sudden Self-denial

There shouldn't be so much water in the bucket before... Could it be that she was dreaming?

Forget it, no matter what, let's put on the clothes first.

Lu Ling stood up, and saw the cat hanging on the edge of the barrel, which was sleeping peacefully.

"Why are you sleeping here?" Lu Ling didn't know whether to laugh or cry, put Xuechen on the bed after putting on her underwear, and then neatly put on the clothes step by step, small skirt, socks, embroidered shoes...

Meticulous, not even a wrinkle exists.

Then tie the red silk, and a heroic girl appeared.

His eyes were bright.

Originally, Lu Ling didn't sleep well at night after getting up early today, but she was very energetic after taking a nap.

Sometimes when people are energetic, it is easy to think wildly.

Lu Ling started to clean.

So neatly dressed and started cleaning.

……

Speaking of cleaning, in fact, her and Liu Fufeng's house is very simple and small. Sometimes it's not that Lu Ling insists on sleeping with Liu Fufeng, but that there is no way to add another bed to the house...

Looking around, there are yellow land, a simple thatched bed, a table, two stools, and a stove.

There is only one pot on it...

Lu Ling stood stupidly in front of the stove for a long time.

This is my home?In the past, she didn't look at it carefully. After going down the mountain to see the world this time, she came back and realized... she was really miserable.

If Tang Sheng saw the little girl, she would definitely cry. Those who didn't know thought she was a beggar.

It is estimated that the Town God's Temple where the beggar lives is several times stronger than her.

Lu Ling knocked on the wall of her own room, and the sound came from the earth.

The wood is covered with mud, and then there is a layer of thatch outside. What is the function?keep warm?Lu Ling gently poked a hole in the wall with her fingers.

With this level of fragility, how did it survive the previous heavy snowfall?It didn't collapse?
"Gudu."

Swallowed.

Lu Ling looked up at the roof, and her whole body trembled.

The bean curd project is nothing more than that...

Oh my god, she and her junior sister have lived in such a room for such a long time...

Too dangerous.

Then Lu Ling breathed a sigh of relief, fortunately, the snow has stopped now, otherwise she really wouldn't dare to continue living here.

"What's this? There's nothing." Lu Ling looked at the humble house, full of dissatisfaction.

She also wants to live in a better house.

Standing angrily at the place where the wooden barrel was placed before, he jumped a few times on the spot, filling up the marks made by the water mixed with the wooden barrel.

Then continue to doubt life.

It was mainly because Liu Fufeng was not around that Lu Ling started to think wildly, impatient to prove something, housework and so on, she was already tired of it even now.

"It's not that bad..." Lu Ling began to make excuses for herself.

The bed and the like, although there are only a few wooden shelves, but there are several layers of gorgeous brocades that are incompatible with the environment, making it not so unsightly.

It's quite comfortable to sleep, soft, and has a faint grass fragrance. This is why Lu Ling sometimes dreamed that she was sleeping on the grass.

When she was staying in a luxurious inn at the foot of the mountain before, sleeping on that bed made her very uncomfortable.

Well, it's pretty good.

The stove is so bad, but the food cooked by my junior sister is still so delicious.

It would be better to solve the air leakage in the house. Let me tell you a joke, she is afraid of the cold.

Yep.

That's it, don't change.

"Snapped!"

He waved his hand and slapped himself, but this time he didn't hold back his hand, and his entire right face showed signs of swelling.

"No."

"No."

Lu Ling stood up.

She avoided it again, because she was lazy.

She can't be content with the status quo, she wants to turn this house into something she doesn't know when Liu Fufeng comes back...

At that time, the junior sister will definitely praise herself.

After thinking about it, Lu Ling started to giggle.

【Master...】At this time, Xuechen opened his eyes in a daze, looked at Lu Ling, and was taken aback for a moment.

The cat jumped up and rushed towards Lu Ling.

[Master, what's wrong with your face...? 】The cat stretched out its paw and gently stroked Lu Ling's right face.

"It's nothing." Lu Ling's pretty face flushed, but because there were signs of swelling, she couldn't see it.

[I'll come...] A blue light flashed on Xuechen's paw, trying to heal Lu Ling, but she grabbed it and extinguished it.

"No need." Lu Ling shook her head.

It doesn't matter if it hurts, it's an admonition to myself, don't be too lazy.

"Oh." Xuechen nodded half understanding.

"Okay, you can continue to rest, I will continue to clean." Lu Ling turned her head and stretched out her fingers to press her three-petal mouth: "By the way, Xiaoxue, are you hungry?"

【No, not so often. 】

"That's good." Lu Ling nodded. At this moment, her face was hot. At a certain moment before, she suddenly felt that her existence was meaningless. She was lazy, liked to escape, and wanted to live a good life...

It's just a rice bug.

It seems that it is of no use except to provide "energy" to Xuechen.

Well now, the only meaning of my existence seems to not need her that much.

It's about to change.

A flash of determination flashed in Lu Ling's eyes, and then a lot of energy surged in her body, and she began to wipe the table and make the bed.

Finally, with hard work, Lu Ling tidied up the simple room a little bit. A layer of paper was spread on the wooden table, cushions were buckled on the stool, and there were more chopping boards and kitchen utensils on the stove—— They are all household items that Liu Fufeng bought back in the world.

"Pillow, pillow..." Lu Ling rummaged through the Qiankun bag for a while, and pulled out a pink pillow, feeling a little speechless.

Too girly...

Forget it, it's better than nothing.

Putting the last pillow on the head of the bed, Lu Ling clapped her hands.

"It's done."

Looking at the tidy, small and delicate room, Lu Ling showed pride on her face. She is useless without her junior sister.

Bed.

Xuechen tilted his head and watched Lu Ling busy for several hours, still confused, but he could probably understand a little...

In fact, she wanted to tell Lu Ling that if she wanted to change the room, it was very simple, she just had to go through the formalities with the people in the Shaodian, and then she could come back and do it herself... because all the buildings in Lingshan came from this way.

According to the owner, it should be...DIY, yes, DIY.

What's more, if you want to prove yourself, you just need to work hard to improve your cultivation. This is the world of cultivating immortals, and cultivation is everything... Xuechen always feels that the current master's head is not enough...

Is there anything that can prove oneself more than progress in cultivation?But in the heart of the current owner, it seems that being able to take good care of himself and living independently is the best proof.

Can cooking prove your worth?The master seems to think so.

Can't understand.

All mortal women know how to cook, are they all valuable people?It is obviously wrong to look at it from the perspective of a person in the fairy gate.

The master's mind... seems to be in a strange place, he has not fully realized that he is a disciple of the fairy sect, and has more important things to do.

Isn't that short-haired girl that the master fears the most can't cook?

Why does the master, who is so talented in cultivation, feel that he is actually useless?

Xuechen couldn't understand, but she wouldn't point fingers if she didn't understand.

From the first second of Liu Fufeng's absence, her master's mental state has been tense... There seems to be some mental problems.

If you look carefully, you can find that Lu Ling's eyes are full of anxiety now, and she can't calm down at all.

"It's noon, it's noon...it's time to eat...eat..." Lu Ling paced back and forth.

Have a meal?Junior sister is not here, what does she eat?
Why don't you eat it?

No, wouldn't it be useless for me to not even be able to eat without my junior sister here?

But she can't cook at all.

Lu Ling stood up.

Take your ID badge.

"Food hall...Food hall..." He stumbled and pushed the door open, as if in a daze.

"Master..." Mao'er was worried and was about to get up.

"Don't follow me!" Lu Ling yelled back, hysterical, the sound broke.

"Master..." Xuechen's eyes were full of worry and panic, but as Lu Ling said, she did not follow.

Why did the master suddenly become like this?
……

"Huh." Lu Ling went out the door, the cool air hit her face, and she became a little more sober.

The more she cleaned, the more Lu Ling felt that she was useless... She even began to doubt the meaning of her existence... The answer she got was that it was completely meaningless.

In fact, not everything has its own meaning of existence, but Lu Ling is not deeply involved in the world, so she is not very able to understand this truth.

This problem has been there since the beginning.

Lu Ling has been wondering... who is she?What is the meaning of being alive?Why rebirth?
I seem to be of no use.

Completely aimless.

At the very beginning, after the goal of living was accomplished, Lu Ling began to feel confused, but because Liu Fufeng was by her side, she had no time to think about these messy things. Now that Liu Fufeng was not around, this problem surfaced again.

Lu Ling felt that she was a complete scum and knew nothing.

A little nervous, Lu Ling didn't know why she became like this...

She doesn't really have a mental illness...

of course not.

This is related to the peak of her condensed energy. The soul-dividing state will make people's thinking extremely sensitive, and some potential problems will emerge from the depths of the mind. Intentional demons are even more difficult to deal with.

It's a good thing. The soul-dividing state is a process that must be followed to baptize the soul. Everyone will experience it, but what appears in Lu Ling is the most difficult thing to deal with-self-denial and self-doubt.

I believe that Li Zhuzi didn't think of it either.

Lu Ling, who has always been "bold", introverted and serious, actually completely denied herself from the spiritual level.

Lu Ling is a person who has no self-confidence at all.

Self-doubt itself is not terrible, what is terrible is that the self-identity is completely based on the evaluation of others, subconsciously feel that only the "perfect" and "recognized by others" are worthy of living in this world.

From the very beginning, Lu Ling wanted to transform herself into a perfect person, and she always cared about other people's opinions... For example, her junior sister's, her husband's, and even Tang Sheng's.

Once someone doubts her, the subsequent self-doubt begins. You will feel that this person is right, because you really are not good enough, and Lu Ling is even more extreme. No one doubts her, and she has not given up on herself. Live yourself.

Looking at Lu Ling's character——

Do anything, will tiptoe, afraid of trouble.

Timid, worry about this and that.

The word entanglement is infinitely magnified.

In the final analysis, it is an expression of low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Taking other people's opinions as one's true appearance...is a very dangerous thing. The more Lu Ling thinks about it, the more she feels that she has no meaning in existence. There will be no meaning in this world without her. After the change, the reborn self is just a waste who can't say a word.

She obliterated the culture and language she had been working hard to learn from the first day, and she only felt that she was mentally retarded if she couldn't learn it after studying for so long.

He also neglected his own efforts.

Now Lu Ling's worst state is that after extreme self-denial, she thinks that she has no value in existence, and defective products like her should be eliminated.

Commit suicide.

It's hard to solve, but when a problem arises, it's meant to be solved.

This time, no one can help her. The meaning of others is not the meaning she wants. Lu Ling needs to find her own answer before formally studying the soul-splitting state.

Lu Ling is probably mentally ill, not to mention schizophrenia, but there must be something wrong with it, which can already be seen from the Shushan incident.

The human race majored in the soul, and the soul is the most prone to problems.

Liu Fufeng is, and now Lu Ling is also.

……

Food hall.

Lu Ling walked all the way, her expression gradually calmed down.

This time, she didn't bring the "dog-beating stick" she relied on for survival, and walked with a limp in embroidered shoes, enjoying the sight of her surroundings.

It seemed to her ironic, ridiculous.

Rumors are on the back.

Actually?
Many female cultivators felt something was wrong with Lu Ling and were very worried.

"..." Still thinking.

The husband treats himself so well, does she deserve it?

The junior sister is also very good to her, is she worthy?

It should be unworthy.

Mr.'s students should be perfect, able to infer other things from one instance, extremely smart, and can bring pride to Mr., not like myself, who is completely useless and causes trouble everywhere. If Mr. is asked to go to Shushan to save him, he is worried that he may It would be embarrassing for her.

The senior sister of the junior sister should be able to cook for her and take care of all the housework by herself, so that she can study medicine to her heart's content, instead of cooking for her after a tiring day, helping her with laundry, and occasionally Help her with her homework.

This is not right.

What Lu Ling didn't know was that in her ideal, Li Zhuzi's "perfect student" was not unheard of. Shen Gui and Xu Xu were each [-] times better than she imagined, but Li Zhuzi's favorite so far It's still her.

The same goes for Liu Fufeng, if Lu Ling thinks it's good, she may not like it.

But now Lu Ling is just on the tip of her horn, and her mind keeps sinking amidst self-doubt.

The most fundamental reason for the matter was that Lu Ling, who found out that she could do nothing without her junior sister, didn't want to become a waste, but no matter how she looked at her, she was just a waste... I couldn't accept it.

　It's my current state, I haven't figured out how to solve it, tsk.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)