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Chapter 289 Perfect Stand-Up Comedy

Qin Feng's Weibo is completely maxed out!
"I'm dying of laughter, how did you think of it? You actually brought the lamp god into "Journey to the West"!"

"I have a house and still use the lamp? Classic!"

"The brain hole is really too big, that's all!"

"I love this cross talk so much, it's so hilarious and invincible!"

……

Qin Feng's circle of friends and the message area of ​​the CCTV live broadcast page are also scalding hot at this time.

Everyone laughed and discussed this stand-up comedy that was enough to laugh people to death.

Backstage of the studio.

The deafening boos fell, and Qin Feng continued the content with a smile.

"Shortly speaking, the gods from all walks of life revealed their treasures one after another, and the Hall of Ling Xiao was full of laughter. Everyone was very happy. After hitting that horn, someone shouted, get out of the way!

The gods looked back, and one came, this one is thinner than that one!If there is no bone frame to block it, I would still be thinner inside, with wrinkles on my face, full of grief and indignation, and I came here.

At a glance, the Jade Emperor still knows, who is it?Master of Ten Thousand Laws of Vulture Mountain!There are tears in the eye sockets. ... The Jade Emperor said, what's the matter?Why are you crying?The big day is very happy, are you here to offer some treasure? "

Hearing this, some scholars who have studied "Journey to the West" couldn't help but nodded.

It seems that this kid has really put in a lot of effort, and he even talked about the Master of Ten Thousand Laws. This character is not much in the book!

The laughter fell, and everyone listened with great interest, waiting for the next hilarious moment.

With a sad face, Qin Feng said with grief and indignation:
"Wipe your eyes, Lord Wanfa, Jade Emperor, I am taking advantage of the gathering of immortals from the Three Realms today, and I am here to avenge my grievances... Hey! Another day, another day for the day of great joy.

There is no chance another day! ...Then tell me, what's the matter? ...Your Majesty, I live in Vulture Mountain, and you know that before the World Honored One attained enlightenment, he practiced in the snow-capped mountains. He fell in love with my Vulture Mountain, and told me to borrow it for a year. I thought, one year Just borrow it from him, don't worry, let him write me a note, and borrow it for a period of one year!
Unexpectedly, when one year expired, I asked him to go, and when I opened the note, it said ten!I don't even know when I added a vertical! "

There was a lot of laughter at the scene, Master Wanfa was obviously deceived.

Qin Feng did not pause and continued talking.

"Ten is ten, ten years later, when I went there, there was an extra scribble on it, and it became a thousand years"

"Hahaha"

The audience burst out laughing.

This trick is too damaging, isn't it bullying honest people!The Master of Ten Thousand Laws is also heartless enough.

Qin Feng's voice continued.

"You also know that ordinary people can't wait for a thousand years, but those who are immortals can. It's been a thousand years with great difficulty. I went, opened it and looked again, it says forever!"

"Hahaha"

The laugh has turned into hilarity.

The audience laughed so hard, it was so deceitful!
Some people wrote these words in their palms while laughing. The more they wrote, the more fun they became, and the laughter became louder and louder.

Qin Feng said with a mournful face:
"Your Majesty, it is inappropriate for the World-Honored One to do this, so, today, in front of all the immortals, you are my Lord, Your Majesty, what do you think about this matter?
The Jade Emperor thought about it, shook his head and said, it's hard to say, you have a contract!This is the will of the free man himself, it is inconvenient for us to participate, if you don’t have this condition, we can reason.”

"Hahaha"

The burst of laughter burst out, shaking Qin Feng's ears.

Gods also talk about contracts!It's really advanced, and it also frees people's own will, which is so good!

Everyone has already admired Qin Feng's ability to talk nonsense. There is really nothing that this kid can't think of. Everything in him can be used as a joke for everyone's enjoyment.

Teachers Wang Jianxin and Jia Xiaolin, who were watching TV, burst out laughing when they heard this.

Just explain the contract like this with your kid!How did you take the basic law course?

Qin Feng frowned and began to tear up the IOU with a mournful face.

"Your Majesty, look at me! Master Wanfa directly tore up the IOU, slapped it with his hand, and a puff of smoke disappeared. It's gone!... Jade Emperor: Then how do you say it was borrowed from you?"

As he spoke, he looked triumphantly into the camera lens.

"Hahaha"

There was another wave of laughter.

The audience laughed so hard that their bodies were limp, and they looked like they were communicating with each other with tears.

"The Jade Emperor is so wicked, is there such a god?"

"This mouth, how many gods have lost today!"

"Yes! These gods in our mythology are all said to be like local rascals"

"Who will save me! My buddy is about to burst out laughing!"

……

On the stage, Qin Feng triumphantly raised his hand and pointed.

"A person has a face, a tree has bark, this one, do you have evidence? All the gods asked, where is the evidence? The Master of Wanfa is crying like a man in tears, okay, okay, let me go!
Turned around and left, turned around at the door, singing and dancing in the Lingxiao Palace, everyone was applauding for the wisdom of the Jade Emperor, cheering "

"Hahaha"

The laughter at the scene was deafening, and the same was true in front of the TV.

"clap clap"

Along with the laughter, there was thunderous applause.

……

Another three and five minutes passed, and the laughter in front of the live TV never stopped.

Everyone laughed almost out of strength, but everyone was still full of interest and listened with gusto.

Everyone didn't realize that this stand-up comedy talk has been broadcast live for almost 10 minutes!

This is something that has never happened in previous live broadcasts. No one has ever enjoyed this kind of treatment. Qin Feng is the only one!
The "Lantern Festival on the [-]th day of the first lunar month" program team and the director team of the Lantern Festival Gala also didn't realize it.

People were immersed in Qin Feng's wonderful performance, and were deeply attracted by this alternative and funny "Journey to the West".

On the temporary stage, Qin Feng raised his finger and said loudly:

"There are two flowers blooming, one for each branch. The master of Wanfa and Miao Jixiang will go down to the lower realm for now. Let's not talk about it for the time being, but only talk about the Tang monk and his disciples on the way to learn the scriptures.

This day, the master and disciples came to Cangyan Ridge of the Qingjin Kingdom in Hezhou, Xiniu, and met the king of the Qingjin Kingdom. Why is the king here?It was brought here by a gust of wind, and it was the Master Wanfa from the lower realm who caused the trouble.

The king came forward to say hello, and told Tang Monk and his disciples about his affairs, and begged them to help them hunt down and catch monsters. Just as he was talking, a black wind blew up beside him, and three monsters came out.

How high is it?They are all less than half a meter, and one is a little taller, three goblins, stand up, holding a knife, 300 years of enlightenment, eggplant, potato, green pepper"

"Hahaha"

The audience chuckled endlessly, can this also become a goblin?

Qin Feng showed a surprised expression.

"Tang Seng was taken aback, what kind of monster?...These three, show some respect! We are three delicacies from the earth"

"Hahaha"

The audience burst out laughing instantly.

Everyone laughed and stomped their feet and clapped their hands. It was very lively.

"Isn't this a dish? You can make nonsense!"

"Hahaha, I said the monsters are eggplants, potatoes, and green peppers, so the explosive point is buried here."

"It's so funny, won't you come to report the name of the dish?"

……

"clap clap"

The laughter was mixed with thunderous applause.

Qin Feng also smiled and clapped his hands.

"Tang Seng is very happy, Wu Kong, I am hungry for my teacher, plain ones are fine! Sun Dasheng reached out his hand and took out a golden cudgel from his ear, swaying in the wind, holding the end of the stick with his hand, wow ha ha ha ha!

Then throw the golden cudgel up, and the golden cudgel becomes a big shovel, followed by the half-suspended onion, ginger, garlic, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, water and starch that fall down.The three goblins wiped their heads and ran away, it's amazing, the cook is here! "

"Hahaha"

The audience burst into laughter and burst into tears in an instant.

Qin Feng explained solemnly:
"Fairy, it's different. Some masters, such as foxes, have to cultivate for 1 years to become a nine-tailed black fox, but usually they don't reach that point, and God strikes them to death with lightning.

Therefore, it is very difficult to cultivate a goblin. There are different types of goblins, such as turtle essence and chicken essence, which are all goblins that serve the kitchen. There is also dish soap, which takes a lot of water! "

There was another burst of laughter.

Many housewives in particular laughed until they burst into tears. These goblins are so familiar!I deal with it every day.

Qin Feng smiled, pointed his finger and said:

"Goblins are different from goblins. Some goblins are here to become immortals, and some goblins are here to harm people. Like the three goblins today, they are here purely for cuteness!"

Everyone laughed out loud, aren't these three cute goblins!Can the ground three delicacies do it?

Qin Feng raised his hand outwards and said with a smile:

"Scared away, you think, what can you do with eggplants and potatoes? The king is at ease, great, four gods of food! ... Hey! No, no. ... The goblin calls you a cook? ... Come with us, promise There is hope for your recovery.

We went forward to a village, and it was already late. The master and apprentice lived in a small temple at the entrance of the village. After the master was settled, Sun Dasheng came to the yard, sniffed it, and Sun Dasheng nodded. There is a scene here tonight. lively! "

The cross talk has come to an end. Seeing the joyful smiles of everyone at the scene, Qin Feng was very satisfied.

It's over now, and it's another perfect show.

After a pause, Qin Feng continued:

"There is a good man in this village. They are in their fifties and have no children. The old lady is also anxious. She burns incense every night, begging God to give me a child.

After burning the incense, I went back to the house and sat down. In the middle of the night, the oil lamp was dimmed. As soon as I flicked the lantern flower, a lamp moth came and flew around the oil lamp.

The old lady is kind-hearted, she is afraid that it will die in the fire, so she is good at flicking it like this, dah!All of a sudden, the fluttering moth got up, poof!A puff of black smoke rose.

A goblin sprang out from the black smoke, ate the old lady with a big mouthful, transformed into this lady again, sat down where she was, rubbed her stomach, and waited! "

The style of cross talk has changed suddenly, and there is a tense atmosphere between the words.

With Qin Feng's vivid language description and vivid body movements, all the audience was emotionally tense, and their hearts were pulled unconsciously.

Qin Feng stretched out his hand and pointed out.

"After waiting for another bowl of tea, a fragrant wind in the yard, not just for nothing, hit the false lady's stomach with a slap of red light from the sky.

Whoops!The belly suddenly grew bigger and bigger, and there was a click, and a child sprang out!A baby grows when it hits the ground, and after a while it looks like a teenager.

This fake lady is happy, I am waiting for you!He opened his mouth to eat the child, but the child swung his arms round and gave him a big mouth.

You think I don't know you!But when I came out of your belly, we two had a mother-child relationship. If I forgive you today, this mother-child relationship will be broken. If we meet again in the future, you will not survive!

The goblin nodded, and a gust of black wind went away along the window.

The child shouted and screamed, stepped out, and just went out, Sun Wukong came down from the sky, pulled his hand, others don't know you, but I know you, you are the disciple of my Buddha Tathagata Miao Jixiang!Come with me, something big is going on tonight!
This leads to "Crowd into the palace at night, true and false are auspicious, Monkey King shows his supernatural powers, and visits Biyou Palace three times!" '"

After saying the last sentence, Qin Feng picked up the Xingmu on the stage, and tapped it lightly on the table.

"Snapped"

The crisp sound awakened everyone who was addicted.

Hearing the sound of Xingmu, everyone understood that the stand-up session was over.

But there is more to say!

"clap clap"

The applause immediately sounded like a storm, and everyone on the scene and in front of the TV began to applaud enthusiastically.

"Good! Great!"

"Qin Feng, great job, this cross talk is amazing!"

……

The sound of applause and applause, accompanied by applause, was deafening!
Qin Feng came out of the cross talk stage and bowed to the camera.

"Thank you for your support. The first round of stand-up comic "Journey to the West" has been finished, and this hole has been filled in. I hope you are satisfied. As for the follow-up round, I will find time to continue talking to everyone.

Please pay attention to the cross talk between me and Lin Yang at the Lantern Festival Gala. It is also very funny and will definitely make you laugh out loud. Thank you again for your great support and I wish you a happy Lantern Festival.”

"clap clap"

The applause thundered again.

(End of this chapter)