Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 2 Opening the Man's Seven Apertures and Exquisite Heart (1)
In this world, men account for half and women account for half. Therefore, as a woman, as long as she understands the man's half of the world, she can almost understand the whole world.Some people say, there are so many men, how do you understand?Heart!Men's hearts are the same. If you see through a man's heart, you can see through a man's world.It is said that every man has a heart with seven apertures, do you believe it?Open it and have a look!

one.man = alien

American John Gray made a famous statement: men are from Mars, women are from Venus.Therefore, from a female perspective, although a man has one nose and two eyes, he is an "alien" in his bones. A wolf in sheep's clothing" hurts himself.So, let's quickly take off the man's mask and see how many eyes the "alien" has in his heart!
'Aliens' grow a rational antennae
Men are rational animals. No matter what they do, they don't like to be careless, but they must find a decent reason.Even if it is a wrong question, a man can only feel at ease if it is wrong enough to fit the theory.We generally think that "men are more rational than emotional", mainly because they can always find out such and such reasons, and refuse to admit their mistakes frankly.For example, if you know that you have difficulties with housing loans and education expenses, but you spend a lot of money every time you meet with old friends, if you tell him "think about the family a little bit, and spend money wisely", he will list it There are a lot of reasons such as "men have men's communication", "if I don't pay for that situation, I will lose face".Of course, at this time, men's reasons are quite self-justifying, but it can just explain their behavior characteristics of reasoning.

Men always think that women are naive, they only have "feeling" but no "logic". Take shopping as an example: women often buy things without planning in advance. We see clothes we like when we go shopping, regardless of whether we need them or not. Buy it if you like it.Sometimes the novelty is gone when you buy it back, and you even give it away before you wear it once. The picture is just a moment of happiness.Especially when it comes to discounted clothes, I feel like I’m at a disadvantage if I don’t buy them, and I always flock to them.On the contrary, before the man goes shopping, he has already thought about what he needs in his mind, and then goes straight to the target, without even asking the price, just buy it and leave.

The same is true for men's treatment of feelings, rationality is higher than sensibility.When we meet someone we like, we never plan first and then implement it, but rely on our feelings and let nature take its course, and we will fall into the emotional vortex without knowing it. Once we fall into it, we will find it difficult to extricate ourselves.When men meet someone they like, they will make a comprehensive plan, what to do in the first step, what to do in the second step, and how to capture the heart of a woman.After a man's goal is achieved, he will immediately turn his energy to other places. They will always put their career and future first, and they will not lose their career and future for women.

A man likes to be reasonable, and of course his reasoning is not always correct.Sometimes the theories a man organizes from his own life experience are inherently wrong, but when this happens, a man is usually content as long as the theory makes sense.A typical example, in Dostoevsky's novel "Crime and Punishment", the hero student Raskolnikov kills the old woman who lends money to usurers.Interestingly, the reason why this young man decided to kill was not because of financial difficulties or hatred of the old woman, but because of how harmful the existence of the old woman was to society. It can be said that he decided to kill after philosophical thinking. of.

In short, we judge things by intuition, and men judge by reason.Given that men are rational, when we want to persuade men, we just need to find "reasons" that men can understand.

'Aliens' are a face-saving monster
It is an indisputable fact that men care about face. Any man with a little self-respect, as long as face is involved, he can even disregard his family and life, and even his parents and wives have to be ranked second.However, after a man makes some kind of sacrifice for the sake of face, he will feel in a panic and always think of ways to get it back, which is not as magnanimous as they pretend at all.

Men are particularly straightforward when paying the bill, especially when there are beautiful female companions present. It is not uncommon for diners to mistakenly think they are fighting to pay the bill.Thinking about it, paying the bill has probably been raised by men to the height of the "three representatives": it means that the man is rich, has face, and is straightforward enough.Since paying the bill can add luster to face, it is no wonder that men are scrambling to be the first.

Usually, the men who scramble to pay the bills are not rich people, because rich people don't lack face.Generally speaking, the person who is the most active in paying the bill at the dinner table must be "malnourished" in his wallet. Even if the amount of paying the bill exceeds the sum of all the banknotes in his pocket, he will barely struggle to say: "Pay the bill!" Of course, someone will come up immediately scramble.If he usually treats guests in a small restaurant and is full of confidence, he will naturally argue with reason, and the two sides seem to be seeing each other, but at this time, he can only feign a shot, and then die down.If you happen to meet an ignorant waiter, say: "Anyone pays the same, let this gentleman pay!" This gentleman is more wronged than the team that has been whistled. Dissatisfied with the referee's decision.

A face-saving man, feasts guests, is generous, and gets the limelight.After paying the bill, I suddenly remembered my wallet, so I quietly went to the toilet and took out the money to count... I went home nervously.Early the next morning, troubles arose: "Do you still want a home? All you want to do is fool around with your cronies all day long, and you'll just be taken advantage of..." Such a husband is quite the opposite in real life. common.However, female compatriots can also be merciful, because when a man sobers up, before you can speak, he will already be upset.This is the common problem of "smelly men".

In life, men who want to save face and suffer can be seen everywhere. They often go to war because they are afraid of losing face because of some trivial matters.At a bus stop, a short man got off the bus and stepped on the foot of the tall man. The tall man felt that the short man was not active in apologizing and did not give him enough face, so he started fighting with the short man.Although the short man knew he was invincible, but with his girlfriend by his side, he couldn't lose face no matter what, so he fought desperately.In the end, a trivial matter turned into a brawl because of the good face of both parties.

Because of the good face, men often put on a serious and funny look, but instead become the object of ridicule.For example, a man who was ridiculed for having his umbrella stolen would never say, "Yes, that's just how stupid I am." He would say, "You cheapskate, you want a broken umbrella too! It's okay, the old ones don't matter." Go, the new one won’t come, I’m about to buy a new one, haha!” Not admitting defeat, not admitting mistakes, desperate for face, this is the so-called “manly man”.

A man's good face is not only manifested in money, but also manifested in the relationship between the sexes.Most men have two faces, using one when they are with their girlfriends and picking up the other when they are away.When two people are alone, men are generally more docile; when they meet unexpectedly on the street or in the presence of outsiders, the situation is often different.Being intimate with a woman in front of outsiders is tantamount to announcing to the world that the relationship between the two has been confirmed, while being submissive to your girlfriend may be ridiculed by friends: "Are you close to that girl? Is it a sign of 'wife control inflammation'?" For the sake of face, men always avoid these and try to disguise themselves as much as possible.

When many married men talk about their wives, they tend to belittle them, and it is rare for men to praise their wives in front of outsiders.Not only that, we will also see such an interesting phenomenon: the spouse of a male doctor is a female master, the spouse of a male master is a female undergraduate, and the spouse of a male undergraduate is a female specialist... Men with elementary school education can only find an illiterate wife.Most men will not find a woman with a higher education than themselves as a spouse, because he feels pressure in front of a woman who is better than himself.

Chen Siting is a very cute girl who fell in love with a young man named Jiang Jun.Si Ting's family has a car, a house and money, while Jiang Jun is just a poor boy with some talents.Although Jiang Jun wanted to marry Si Ting as his wife, he said to Si Ting: "Let's get married after I have a car and a house." Because he felt that he had nothing and had no face to marry a girl from a good family. He is even more unwilling to cut in on the son-in-law.

The reason why face is so important is because men’s interpersonal relationships often involve face issues. Take the matter of treating guests to dinner as an example, it is almost entirely determined by face: who should invite, who should not invite; who should be repeatedly urged No matter who is just casually saying please, it all depends on who has face and who has more face.After being invited, who should sit in the private room, who should be the guest of honor, who should be the second guest, who should be the chief, and who should only be a companion, all depends on face.Being invited to a meal by a person with dignity is naturally a face, and being able to invite a person with a face is also a face...

Facts have proved that a man is a "monster" who wants to save face and suffer.

"Alien" Hero's Dream
When every man grows up, there will be several heroes that he admires endlessly, and his "divine friendship" with these heroes is not only for worship, but more importantly, he hopes to become a man like that hero.This is the dream of a man's hero.

Generally speaking, a hero in a man's mind has at least three qualities: strength, wisdom and imagination.In fact, these three aspects are embodied as a kind of masculine power, and this power is invincible.Boys of any generation have their model of man to imitate, the man who has the capacity not only to endure pain but to withstand any emotional shock.With the changes of the times, the facial makeup of this heroic man will continue to change. For example, in the past, Xiang Yu and Yue Fei have become Schwarzenegger and Jet Li. However, the qualities of a heroic man are like the rotation of the earth. Orbits never change.

It's kind of funny to say that because we women like heroes, men want to be heroes, yet their definition of "heroic" character runs counter to our hopes.We want men to be heroes, because then we can be well protected and helped.For example, if your car breaks down, what will you do?You're sure to get a man to help.Fortunately, he still has a hand, and he changed the tire quickly. You didn't pay any price, and that man not only stained your clothes, but also delayed the business. However, the hero in a man's mind is definitely not like this.

Just like a fish lives and grows in water from the beginning, it is difficult for it to understand what it would be like without water.Men are thrown into competition from birth, and it is hard for them to imagine life without competition.Competition is a man's instinct, and they think that winning is more manly, so in men's minds, heroes often have a warrior style.

Under the pressure of competition, men unconsciously put on their armor.Feelings of sadness, pity, etc. are not tolerated for them, because these feelings are regarded as a sign of weakness, and showing them will only make people laugh.Even when the fronts between the enemy and the enemy are clear, men are unwilling and unable to put down their armor.This quality is especially evident in the TV series "Bright Sword".

Often, men use sports as their main battleground during their teenage years.To be an excellent athlete, one must have a strong desire to win. This desire drives him to regard his body as a tool, a machine or even a weapon. The only purpose is to win.Academic achievement was also important during this period, but less so than sports glory affirming the image of the masculine ideal.When they grow up, men shift the battlefield to the workplace.

Adult men imitate their heroes no less than teenagers, the only difference is that they are now imitating on a slightly larger stage, so they are less conspicuous.Media heroes, sports heroes, and film and television heroes can and are being integrated into the ever-changing appearance of most men. Most of their words and sentences, and the tone of statements, etc., have their origins and backgrounds, and most of them come from the same time. Man of the hour.Therefore, it can be said that the hero complex is the knot of all men's hearts.

'Aliens' are wild animals

Most men yearn for an unrestrained life, which is very similar to wild animals like wolves. They don't like being tied to a certain place, they like to constantly pursue new things, and they like an adventurous and exciting life.The formation of this psychological characteristic is closely related to the environment in which men live.

From the beginning of the primitive society with harsh natural conditions, men have been fishing and hunting outside to obtain the minimum right to survive; in the era of wars full of gunpowder, men have to rely on meritorious deeds to win fame and fortune; now in the commodity society, men have even more Acquiring wealth by working hard outside is no different from wild animals occupying mountains as kings.

We often say that men should focus on their careers.Career in the eyes of men is equivalent to food in the eyes of wild animals. For wild animals looking for food, the richer the food they get, the stronger and more domineering they are; , The more you have the relationship with the opposite sex.It can be said that career is the cornerstone of a man, the backbone of a man, and the Optimus Prime of a man.Without a career, a man collapses instantly like a house without a foundation.Therefore, compared with women, men are more competitive and adventurous, and will fight each other for power, wealth and status, which is the primary goal of men in life.

No matter in what era, a man's wildness is trained from childhood.From an early age, boys are instilled with the theory that being a man means not relying on anyone, that is, after a person is endowed with a male gender by God, his needs are suppressed and denied, and he is extremely disgusted with people who depend on others, saying such People are "parasites".When he himself is forced into a situation where he has to depend on others, he is anxious and distressed, convinced that he will be let down as a man.In the hearts of ordinary men, dependence is a sign of cowardice.

A boy's need for dependence is forbidden in his dealings with his parents, and if his parents tolerate or encourage his dependence, he is accused of making the boy unmanly.In daily life, a father often regards his son's dependence as a dangerous signal, and his survival philosophy is - "don't count on anyone but yourself". Sayings like "This is my baby!" have never been about dependent behavior, it's just an appreciation of independence.

Under the domination of the traditional "manly" consciousness, men will also suppress the consciousness of asking for help.As a boy, the main characteristic of manliness is to be able to say "I can do it myself", "I don't need anyone's help", which is the usual attitude of men when they grow up.A man doesn't like to say "please help, I can't do it" to friends or colleagues, he always suffers and struggles in silence.When he finally broke down, or in extreme cases committed suicide, even his close associates were often surprised that no one noticed that something was wrong.

(End of this chapter)