Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 24 Men's Love White Paper in the E-era (1)
"What will love look like when it enters the Internet age? Can I still find my Prince Charming?" Prince Charming?Stop dreaming, men are all surfing the Internet, not riding white horses!At most you can find a big frog, and wait and find that he can't turn into a prince.However, if you choose left and right, you may still be able to find a good "he", but you must keep your eyes open to see his inner world, and don't be fooled by the illusion of a bad man.

one.Girls are bad, boys love

Boys in the e-era like "bad" girls?It is said that "men are not bad, girls don't love", why do men also join the "bad bad" taste club and fall in love with "bad girls"?Don't make a fuss, men have always liked "bad girls" from ancient times to the present, and saying that they like good girls is just their hypocritical mask.In their hearts, "bad girls" are cute, and chasing "bad girls" is passionate...

"Mom/Hooker Syndrome" - A Man's Complicated Emotions
In the field of psychoanalysis, there is a phenomenon of "mother/whore syndrome", which means that men see women either as "mothers" or as "whores".Of course, the "prostitute" here is not a sexual tool in Fengyuechang, and the "mother" is not the real mother who gave birth to him and raised him, but refers to the woman who has a relationship with him, or has had a relationship with him, and his mother. The dream of any woman.

In fact, a man's sincere love for a cute and well-behaved girl is more like his affection for his mother.Because the mother will not engage in psychological contests with him, she can always satisfy him, that is to say, from the very beginning, he has her tacit approval.So, we sometimes hear men say, "She's cute, but I don't 'call' her."

Conversely, men tend to have a soft spot for so-called "bad girls."They don't know how to wash clothes or cook for men, and they often release their pigeons and spend a lot of money from their wallets. As a result, they give them very little in return, but men enjoy it and do everything they can to please "bad guys". Girls" favor.So, those good girls can't help but think: Why are men so cheap?

In fact, good girls should know that even if you are a role model housewife, men still want a lover outside the house.A good girl is opposite to a lover, because the day-to-day maternal love will eventually lead to the boredom of men.

It is said that every man is looking for a woman like his mother.Of course, this is a good wish, but it does not mean that you have to accommodate him endlessly.Behaviors that suffocate a man and make him feel like he's confronting his mother tend to annoy him and keep him at a distance like a rebellious child.Therefore, you should avoid the following four motherly ways of interacting with men:

1. Don't question him, that is, don't let him report to you often.

2. Don't always press him, don't say things like "how long have you been with me".

3. Don't expect him to spend all of his free time with you without you asking first.

4. Don't be too affectionate, otherwise, he won't have enough space to appreciate you.

In addition, be very careful not to appear that you are spying on him.For example, after he puts down the phone, you immediately ask who is calling, or interrupt when he is on the phone.This behavior is no different from his mother wearing an apron.

Don't make a man feel like he needs your permission for everything he does on a daily basis.When you watch him too closely, it can suffocate him.Don't let him feel that he is living under a microscope, otherwise, he will feel that he has lost his freedom and will soon think of running away.

Don't say things like "tuck your shirt in," "go wash your hands," "go brush your hair."If he doesn't eat three meals in a row, don't ask him, don't replace his hands and feet - unless he has a cold (if he has just a mild runny nose, you don't make a fuss).

Don't fill your weekends, or he'll have to ask you for time off for fishing.Let him catch some fish!Otherwise he'll start missing appointments.Why is this so?He's like a teenage kid who's really rebellious because his mom put a curfew on him.

If you see you being together as something he has to do, then you're taking something that would otherwise be enjoyable and boring.Even if you are well-intentioned, your bluntness will turn what was originally a reciprocal request into something that discourages him.

Whenever you make him feel like he has to see you, it's almost like work for him.Only when he feels that seeing you is not his obligation, will he be fascinated.

In short, for a man, you should be more like a lover than his mother, so that he will cherish you more instead of perfunctory you.

Men like the feeling of "chasing"
Men like "bad girls" because they know how to "hang" men's appetites and give them a thrill of chasing.On the contrary, those obedient girls are always obedient and get their hands as soon as they are chased, but the result makes men uninterested.

Men always have a sense of "cheap but not good". The more difficult a girl is to them, the more valuable they will feel. The easier a girl is, the less sense of accomplishment they will get, and they will get bored after a few days.

Regarding this psychology of men, we can also get confirmation from other aspects.For example, men like intense competition, they like racing, rodeo, and hunting.Likewise, they are obsessed with a game of cat and mouse when it comes to love.This is the most basic difference between the sexes.Women usually pursue a committed love relationship as the ultimate goal; men do not, and he will find the process of getting closer to the goal to be the most exciting.

If a man finds something he likes, he goes after it, and the pursuit itself makes his desire even stronger.If he can't get it right away, he will be even more impatient.Desire took his heart completely, and made him have richer associations with what he was after.Those girls who are too well-behaved are easy to be chased by men, but this is tantamount to pouring cold water on the process of pursuit.It was like playing poker. If he won the first round, it meant that his mission for the night was over.Conversely, if his wins come very slowly, and he always wins less and loses more at the beginning, it is difficult for Litma to pull him away, because he always feels that he will win soon, and he is only one step away from victory.The male's competitive heart drives him to stay and fight.For example, a man and his partner went hunting, they have been away from home for a whole week, sleeping in dirty sleeping bags every day, suffering from mosquito bites, and even the prisoners in the prison do not want to move for a full stomach, however, They have stuck to it.This in the end is why?Just for the joy of the hunt.If he shot a reindeer he would come home prouder than a peacock with its tail spread.Conversely, if someone delivered a reindeer to your door for free, he might not even look at it.In fact, women who take the initiative to pursue men are like sending deer to their door, which makes them less interested.

Of course, a woman who is pursued by a man does not have to be too reserved, she should gradually accept him, let him be a real man, and give him the pleasure of chasing.Moreover, this scale must be grasped well, it is best never to let him feel that you are already under his control, so that he will never stop pursuing you.

Generally speaking, women can understand the concept of combining work and rest, know how to balance the time between family and friends, and can balance the relationship between work and education, but when facing a man, a good girl will lose all sense of balance , and let this man occupy everything.In "Bad Girls," though, men are just a part of life, and she leaves the rest of life intact.

For example, her boyfriend calls the "bad girl" on her mobile phone: "What are you doing now?" She replied: "Well, I was watching a movie with a girlfriend just now." Her cleverness is to use "just now" this phrase.Then he'd say, "Want to meet up?" She'd pause for a few seconds, then say, "Okay then."

It's only natural that a man will try to make you easygoing because he wants to make the situation work in his favor.At the same time, he will do everything possible to bring you into submission. For example, he will say the following to you to put pressure on you:

"I don't like following a plan."

"I like to be free."

"I like to do things intuitively."

In the face of this pressure, an important difference between good girls and "bad girls" is how much they give up for each other.If there is a temporary appointment with a man, the good girl will often reject the previous agreement with the girlfriend, but the "bad girl" is not the same, she will abide by the previous agreement.

In short, "bad girls" are as sweet as peaches, but each peach has a hard core inside.This means that when a man is rude, she doesn't just give in, she has her own claim.Because she knew that a good man would never want a woman that he could completely dominate.There is nothing wrong with talking about self-esteem and a few conditions.If you can respect yourself, then he will gradually buy into your account.

Men don't say "I love you"

"Bad girls" must understand that it is very difficult to get a man who really loves you to say the three words "I love you".If you come into contact with a man and quickly say these three words, you must be careful, because he may not care about you at all, and just want to get you as soon as possible.

So, why are these three words so difficult for men to utter?One is that he is afraid of being rejected, because he cares about you in his heart, so he takes this matter seriously, even if you have hinted it many times, he will still feel uneasy.Besides, he thought it a little ridiculous to say such things to a woman.In short, this has nothing to do with the relationship between the two parties, it is purely a matter of the personality of the man.

Still, these three words have to be said.If you and your boyfriend are in love with each other, you can definitely find a way to make him say "I love you", you can consciously or unconsciously talk to him about your relationship, and tell him that you like to be with him, carefully look for opportunities, You'll hear him say it.

This kind of conversation has two purposes: First, because a man is usually very busy and he is used to this kind of work rhythm, he has little leisure to consider how far the relationship with his girlfriend is going. Therefore, you need to Make him fully aware of how your relationship is going in this way.Second, when you have touched on this topic a few times, he will start to think about when and whether to say these three words to you.

A man is usually very self-respecting and never wants to be rejected, so he would rather keep silent than face negative feedback.If he says "I love you" and doesn't get your confession, he will be very uncomfortable.It can be said that men are restrained by this kind of fear so that they don't say "I love you".

In fact, any weak message can dent a man's self-confidence.If he says "I love you" to you and you say "Really? I never knew you felt that way," or "I like you too," he may be tormented by your answer for days.Because, at this time, he only wants you to tell him "I love you too", if he doesn't get such an answer, he will go crazy, and his insecurity will be much more serious than you think.He will wonder why you said that, will tell himself over and over again "I should never have said that to her", or simply think that he is stupid, and even start to wonder if the relationship between the two of you is what he imagined, and he may have Come to the conclusion: "I love her, but she doesn't love me." He will start looking for reasons, "What the hell am I doing wrong".You'll find that he's more insecure at this point than when he first started dating you.

Therefore, getting a man to say "I love you" is never that simple, it takes time and courage.If you touch on the same topic several times, he will have a kind of psychological preparation, knowing whether and when he should say it.If he loves you, rest assured that sooner or later he will say "I love you" passionately to you.

Of course, you can still make some efforts to let him know your feelings for him, but don't ask him to say so, just give him encouragement.At the same time, don't tell your boyfriend "I love you" before he says "I love you".Generally speaking, women tend to fall in love more easily than men, and once a woman is immersed in love, she will be eager to say "I love you" to her boyfriend.If you say "I love you" to your boyfriend and he doesn't love you, he'll immediately feel guilty; But when he hesitated, he had to answer, but he didn't know how to answer; of course, if he loves you too, he will naturally like it when you say this.In short, you'd better not take the risk.

In addition, it should be noted that love is a natural thing. When you are not sure how he feels about you, try not to touch such topics, otherwise he will be afraid of losing you because of his honest answer.Also, when he is unsure of his feelings and tells you "I love you", he will be more disturbed inside, he will think that he has lied, he will start to feel uncomfortable, and then feel stressed.

After a man says "I love you" to you, you may face another problem, that is, he won't say "I love you" to you as often as you think.It can be said that men don't like to repeat these three words. Although your boyfriend may love you with all his heart, he will not tell you boldly.Therefore, you'd better not put pressure on your boyfriend.In general, the more you ask, the less you hear.However, don't judge your boyfriend's feelings for you by the number of times he says these three words. Most men tend to hide their love deeply in their hearts instead of expressing it in words.

Of course, you can express your wishes to him appropriately, such as "I'm glad you can tell me how you feel about me" or "I feel great when you say 'I love you' to me". , even if he doesn't like repeating those three words, he'll say it because he wants to please you.

10 classic tricks of "bad girls" against men

"Bad girls" will never sit back and wait for the boys they like, because they know that good men will "cunningly" and slip out of other holes.However, they will not be stupid enough to "chasing" men, because they know that this will make them feel worthless.They will use ingenious methods to "seduce" men, and while attracting their attention, they will not make them disgusted, and finally let them "chase" themselves crazily.

Here are some tricks that "bad girls" often use to "seduce" men, and if you have a crush on a boy, you might as well give it a try:
1. Indirect dating with boys
You can plan an outing with two or three girls who also don't have a boyfriend, and say to the boy you like: "This Sunday, we are going to pick oranges, want to go together? You are fine anyway, find some more by the way." Friends, come and have fun! We will take care of the picnic, and you will pay for everything else.” Such a reassuring and good condition, as long as the boys are at home on weekends, they will actively participate.Generally speaking, one of the reasons why men don’t want to invite women out is because they are worried about the burden of expenses. Your proposal dispels his worries, and he will naturally participate enthusiastically.

(End of this chapter)