Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 23 Women, win the war with the world of men (9)
Therefore, in social activities, you should take the initiative to get along with others, don't be afraid to speak up, and don't be afraid that others will laugh at you.When you walk into a stranger's residence, you can rely on your own observation to infer the owner's interests, and even some items in the room will lead to a story.If you take it as a clue, can't you understand a certain aspect of the master's mind from the shallower to the deeper?When you catch some clues, you don't feel unnatural, and you don't have to worry about not being able to find the opening line.

Here are some tips to consider when you're thinking of dating a new guy:
1. You can introduce yourself first and give the other party a clue of approach
You don't have to introduce yourself by name, as it may feel abrupt when you meet someone for the first time.There are many entry points, starting from your own work unit, or from your own interests and hobbies. What needs to be emphasized is that you should start with your own situation first, and when the time is right, the other party will tell you about his situation accordingly.

2. Ask some general questions about the person

For example, about his children's schooling or work situation, you can also ask about the general business situation of the other party's unit.After the other party has talked, you should also talk about your corresponding situation by the way, so as to achieve the purpose of communication.Be careful not to stride too far and ask questions about the other party's privacy.

3. Concentrate on talking with strange men

Since you don't know him well, you should pay more attention to any clues you have already got.

4. Carefully observe the behavior of the other party

His tone of voice, eyes and facial expressions can all be speculated to determine whether the next step can be developed in depth.

It should be noted that there are some men you don't like, but you have to learn to talk to them.Of course, people have the habit of centering on their self-interest, but if you don't glance at or say a word to people who don't interest you, I'm afraid it's not a good thing either.In this way, you may be considered proud, and some people may even take this kind of neglect as an insult, which will create a gap.

When talking with someone you don’t like, first of all, you must be polite, and secondly, try not to touch the privacy of both parties. This is to keep the appropriate distance between the two parties naturally. Once you are willing to make friends with him, you must try to narrow it step by step. This distance makes it easy for both parties to approach.

In short, as long as you can adopt a positive attitude, it is easy to turn a strange man into a friend, which will be of great help to your life and work.

Thinking of others, let you gain the trust of men

In the face of strange men, if you want to have more in-depth communication, you must win their trust.Regarding this point, we should learn from those who do sales. They can gain the trust of customers in a short period of time and sell things, which shows their ability to communicate.

There is a clothing store, and there is a female owner named Sarah, who majors in psychology.

On one occasion, Sarah served a young male customer.

The gentleman said, "I want to buy the most provocative gown that I'm going to wear to the Kennedy Center and make the eyes of everyone who sees me fall out."

Sarah said: "I have a very provocative dress here, but it is for people who lack self-confidence."

"People who lack self-confidence?"

"Yeah, don't you know that some people often try to dress like that to cover up their lack of self-confidence?"

The young man got angry: "I'm not someone who lacks confidence!"

"Then why would you wear it to the Kennedy Center and have everyone's eyes pop out with envy? Can't you attract people by yourself without your clothes? You are very personable and charming , but you want to cover it up. Of course I can sell you the most fashionable dress and make you show off, but you don't want to think about it. When people stop to look at you, it is because of the clothes or because of your own Attraction?"

Hearing this, the young man thought for a while and said, "Yeah, why should I pay for a few compliments from everyone? Really, I have been lacking in self-confidence these years, but I haven't realized it yet. I should thank you!"

Although Miss Sarah is so "unwilling to make money", her clothing store is still full of customers, most of whom come from customers who have been "rejected".These "repeat customers" and customers who come here make the business of clothing stores more and more prosperous.

In short, men are easily "impressed". As long as you make them feel that you are thinking of them, they will regard you as a "confidant" and trust you more.

subdue the arrogant man

In interpersonal communication, some men take advantage of their own status, knowledge, age and other advantages, showing a kind of arrogance, or extreme contempt for others, or wantonly attacking others, and some even wantonly insulting others.

When you meet such a man, you must first have enough mental preparation, don't be discouraged when you are coldly received, and be good at dealing with him with patience and perseverance, so as to lay the ideological foundation for defeating your opponent.Secondly, we must establish strong self-confidence and belief in victory, and defeat him psychologically. If you beat the drums and shake your head when you see the proud man, then you have already lost the battle psychologically, and you will never win hopefully.Finally, the goal of winning or losing should be set on the final result of the communication, and don't care too much about the attitude, tone, and language of the other party. Everything must be aimed at winning.

Haughty men place more value on their self-image, have higher self-esteem and feel good about themselves.When dealing with them, you might as well adopt a way that suits them, and praise their achievements, knowledge, talents, etc. realistically, so as to satisfy their sense of honor and self-esteem, so that they will shorten the distance from you psychologically. can influence their attitudes.

For example, there is a director who is arrogant by nature, it is difficult for ordinary strangers to approach him, and his blunt and indifferent face often makes people flinch.Liu Li is a clerk from out of town. When she met her, she smiled and said: "Director, as soon as I entered the door, someone told me that the director is a straightforward person, serious in his work, full of compassion, and especially caring for foreigners." When I heard that, I was very happy. I love working with such a leader, I am happy!" A few opening remarks made the director smile immediately on his face, and then he went on to talk about business, which really achieved great results.

There are some men who think that they are rich in knowledge and experience, so they are arrogant and look down on others at all, showing an incomparable arrogance.To deal with this kind of person, as long as you set up a difficult problem skillfully, you can restrain their arrogance.This is because, no matter how extensive their knowledge and experience, in this vast world, a person's cognition is limited after all, and once the other party finds that he also has knowledge deficiencies, his arrogance will naturally disappear.

During an international conference, a Western diplomat very arrogantly asked a Chinese representative: "Your Excellency has stayed in the West for a while, do you have a little enlightened understanding of the West?"

The representative of our country smiled lightly and replied: "I was educated in the West. I received higher education in Paris 40 years ago. I probably know much more about the West than you do. Now, how much do you know about the East?"

Facing the question from the representative of our country, the diplomat was at a loss, his face full of embarrassment, and his arrogance naturally disappeared.

Obviously, the question raised by the representative of our country cannot be answered by the arrogant diplomat who thinks he is rich in knowledge, because he does not understand the situation in the East, so instead of having the opportunity to show his knowledge, he exposed his ignorance. So, what arrogance is there?
Undoubtedly, those who cleverly set difficult problems to suppress arrogance must set difficult questions that the other party cannot answer, because only in this way can the other party's ignorance or defects be exposed, thereby dampening their arrogance.If the other party can answer the set questions, it will not frustrate their arrogance.On the contrary, it will encourage their arrogance and put themselves in a more embarrassing situation.In addition, it should also be noted that the setting of the puzzle must be ingenious, or it will not show any traces.

In addition, there are some arrogant men. The more others pay attention to him, the more arrogant he will be.For such arrogance, you can take an attitude of ignoring them and isolate them, which can weaken or even destroy their arrogance.

The purpose of using the above methods to deal with arrogant men is to find the source of the disease and make them interact with others normally. Therefore, when using these methods, you must have a kind attitude towards others, and you must not ridicule, ridicule, or even insult the personality of others , otherwise it will run counter to our purpose.

Passionate concerned introverted man

Introverted men are very common in this society, to put it nicely, we can call them "deep".The distinctive feature of such a man is that he doesn't like to talk too much, even if he speaks, he never perfuses others, and his words often offend others, and he is easily embarrassed.

Generally speaking, introverted men are easily shaken in their will, and often hesitate alone, and like to watch their thoughts and emotions inward.However, they are by no means slow to respond, cold and isolated.In fact, they also have a strong need for communication, eager to get along with others happily, but they lack initiative, expecting others to take the initiative to get close to themselves, and to be emotionally tolerant and accept themselves.Therefore, you need a positive and proactive attitude when dealing with introverted men.If you can do the following points, an introverted man will regard you as a rare confidant in his life, until he is willing to be you and loyal to you.

1. Respect and understand each other

The formation of a person's character is closely related to his origin, experience, environment and so on.Introverted men are generally more sensitive and good at observing small things. They often like to grasp some minor details in communication and make random suspicions, resulting in psychological barriers, but they do not directly reveal them.Therefore, when interacting with them, you should learn to "exchange roles", put yourself in their shoes, be reasonable, respect each other, and avoid being simple and rude.

2. Try to understand each other and shorten the distance between each other

Introverted men are not easy to get close to. In many cases, it is due to lack of understanding and understanding of their personality characteristics and specific situations. If we can take the initiative to understand each other, get familiar with each other, and approach each other with practical actions, then this kind of introversion due to personality differences The psychological distance brought about will be gradually shortened.

3. Infect, influence and drive them with enthusiasm and concern

Generally speaking, introverted men are not good at talking and don't like to talk. Sometimes they don't want to take the initiative to speak even though they are particularly concerned about a certain matter.Therefore, when getting along with them, you should show enthusiasm and concern to eliminate their suspicion and avoidance, actively inspire and induce, and make more affirmative comments on their words and deeds, so that they can feel that they have a "sense of being valued" , this is crucial.

4. Get along with them with humility, patience and understanding

Introverted men are not good at talking, and they also pay special attention to the reactions of others when they speak. Therefore, when interacting with them, they should be modest, patient, and understanding.When talking with him, you should adopt an attitude of listening with an open mind, and don’t interrupt at will when the other party is speaking. If you disagree with some of the other’s points of view, you should ask questions in a tactful tone, and avoid arguing on the spot.Patience is a way of expressing feelings and a way of awakening each other's feelings.Understanding means understanding what others don't understand, that is, responding knowingly when talking with them.When the other party is speaking, stare at the other party, avoid looking around, absent-minded, let alone looking at the watch casually, and at the same time pay attention to the echo of the expression, and avoid artificiality.

Once you understand the characteristics of an introverted man, you have to cater to his psychology in communication.For example, if he is unsmiling, don’t joke with him often; if he is easily embarrassed, you don’t have to introduce him in public; if he likes people’s encouragement and praise, you can say some words of appreciation to him , can definitely get his favor.If he is very quiet and doesn't move, then don't always persuade him to be active; if he doesn't like to be ordered by others, don't order him in an orderly tone.

(End of this chapter)