Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 29 Men's Love White Paper in the E-era (6)
In addition to being related to "lust", porn has more complicated connotations for many men.Watching porn can often vent anger, dissatisfaction, hostility, frustration, disappointment, etc., and even gain a sense of security from it.In different cases, pornography has different meanings and functions.Some men are unwilling to take the initiative to seek sexual satisfaction because they are afraid of their girlfriend's rejection. They wait until their girlfriend hints or expresses it before taking action.Therefore, the inner sexual desire can only be relieved by porn.

In addition, women must also understand that a man may admit his poverty and low status, but he cannot accept the evaluation of weak ability, which includes sexual ability, which is the foundation for men to continue themselves and stand in the world.

five.When the "OFF" mechanism in love is activated
Is there anyone who loves only once in a lifetime?Yes, but they are rare.For most people, a breakup is not a big event.There are two reasons for breaking up, one is that he doesn't love you anymore, and the other is that you don't love him anymore.When he doesn't love you, you have to find out in time and take the initiative; when you don't love him, you have to find the right opportunity to tell him, don't hurt him too deeply.

10 signs of a man who changes his mind

In this world, it is very common for men to change their minds. We no longer expect them to love only one woman in their lives. However, what makes us unacceptable is that most men have the problem of "loving the new and not tired of the old". I love you, but I still always cover up and want to keep you by my side.Therefore, smart women should learn to see whether a man has changed his mind from his usual behavior. Don't wait until he is about to marry another woman, and you still regard him as your boyfriend.

Generally speaking, a man who has changed his mind will have the following manifestations:
1. The attitude towards you is gradually indifferent
Please think carefully about whether his attitude has been inconsistent since the beginning of the relationship. For example, he was very good to you at the beginning, but now he is very cold;If there is a big difference in his performance, then he may have set his passions on other women.

2. Failure to abide by the agreement made to you
If he says "I'll call you when I get home" but doesn't abide by the agreement, or makes an appointment with you "Let's meet next Friday", "Go to a certain place on the weekend", "Next time we meet, I must go and see you." Movies" and other specific things, but every time he doesn't keep the promise, then he may have a problem.Because a man will try his best to abide by the agreement with the person he cares about very much. If he does not abide by the agreement, it means that your position in his heart has begun to shake.

3. Always lie to you
Everyone may encounter unexpected situations, so it is inevitable that we will miss appointments, and we can understand this.But the most important thing is whether the man is honest and whether he is hurting your heart.Compared with men, women have keen intuition, so as long as you think that man is lying, the probability of the lie will be more than 99%.Therefore, as long as a woman feels that a man is lying, she should remain suspicious.

4. Likes to defend oneself

In a person's life, it is inevitable that there will be situations where he cannot keep the agreement, so you can't suspect a man just because he missed an appointment once or twice. ", "Originally, I must accompany you to watch a movie this time, but something suddenly happened at home" and other excuses for missing the appointment, then there must be something wrong with him.If you often make excuses, it also shows that this man lacks foresight and is not trustworthy.

5. Intentionally avoiding your questions

When you ask a reasonable question as a girlfriend, if he doesn’t answer honestly, but just avoids it with “don’t ask”, or responds hastily, or changes the subject, or loses concentration when talking to you, while watching TV While talking on the phone, he may have changed his mind.

6. Money is not spent where it should be spent

Some men spend money in an uncoordinated way. They don’t spend money where it should be spent, and spend money where it shouldn’t be. For example, they don’t want to buy gifts, but they can spend a lot on hotel expenses.If this man spends money in this way, it means that he does not really love this woman, but only to satisfy his own desires.

7. No gifts on important anniversaries

Most men often forget important anniversaries, so even if they do, it doesn't necessarily mean he has a change of heart.But if you clearly know that you attach great importance to the anniversary, and you still forget it despite repeated reminders, or if you don't prepare a gift, then it is very likely that he has a new love.

8. Self-centered
In the process of living together, everyone has his own opinion, usually he only sticks to his own opinion, or will he ask for your opinion?Does he care and considerate you when you hang out with friends?If he's always self-centered and doesn't care about your feelings anymore, it means he doesn't love you anymore.

9. Frequent private chats with female colleagues
If a man's mobile phone has a lot of phone numbers of female colleagues, or a lot of text messages and call records of female colleagues, then he must have a problem.Under normal circumstances, men handle their own work in the company, and there is no need to frequently call or send text messages to female colleagues.Especially when calling or texting in the middle of the night, 99% of men are dealing with emotional issues between men and women, that is to say, such men have many women around them.

10. Don't know how to take the initiative to reconcile after a quarrel
Generally speaking, if a man still loves this woman, if there is an occasional quarrel, even if it is the woman's fault, he will take the initiative to reconcile.If you contact him every time after you quarrel with him, you should reconsider the relationship between you.

tell him you don't love him anymore

In love, separation and reunion are inevitable. For unsatisfactory boyfriends, those who should break up should break up gracefully.However, you must think carefully before breaking up: the reason for breaking up is essential; what kind of reaction he may have, whether he will go to extremes; if he is entangled, what retreat do you have?
Here are a few tips to help you break up with your boyfriend without losing your grace:
1. Find the right reason to break up

There are some reasons for breaking up that cannot be said directly to your boyfriend, such as rudeness, lack of warmth, too feminine, small-minded, not sexy, etc.If you feel that the other person is not bad, but you can't be a husband and wife, you can think of a reason in a gentle and tactful way, and you don't have to hurt him.If he has a violent temper and wants to save face, he may go to extremes and threaten your personal safety. You should think of a perfect plan according to the specific situation.

In addition, in order not to give the other party any room for reverie, the reasons for breaking up must be short and powerful.Don't hesitate because you are afraid of the other party, so as not to make the other party think that there is a turning point.

Xiaofang doesn't love her boyfriend anymore, but she's too embarrassed to say so.One day her boyfriend invited her to dinner, and she said hesitantly: "Our personalities don't match, and in the future..." Before she could break up, her boyfriend said with a hippie smile: "I can totally accommodate you and accept your personality transformation, please trust me It will change." Xiaofang had nothing to say.As a result, this unsatisfactory relationship dragged her down for more than half a year.

2. Choose your breakup location carefully
If he is prone to lose control of his emotions, he may shake his fist when he hears you say that he wants to break up. It is recommended that you choose the location of the breakup carefully.It is best to choose the door of his work unit, or the door of a big store and a cross street.There are more people in these places, and there are police security inspections, which can prevent him from losing control of his emotions and causing harm to you.

Du Juan decided to break up with her boyfriend. She chose the place where she met him for the first time - a street garden with a good view.She thought this place was safe, but she ignored that this was the place where they had a romance.As a result, after she proposed to break up, her boyfriend begged hard, and he took advantage of the situation to talk about their sweet time in the past, which made Du Juan unable to make a quick decision.Later, she got along with other men at the same time, and it was difficult for her to ride a tiger. In the end, both men were offended.

The location of the breakup may require more careful consideration than the reason for the breakup, because men seem to be such "animals" that cannot accept rejection.

3. Grasp the right time to break up
The timing of breaking up is very important and must be grasped well.You start by figuring out where he is: Where is he in his life?Is he concentrating on his career?How would a breakup affect him?If you're leaving him because he's drifting away emotionally, then timing doesn't matter.If this is not the case, and he is facing dismissal from the company or other dangers, it is recommended that you hold off on breaking up.You can alienate him first, and then leave when he is back on his feet.In this way, you can have everyone's demeanor and avoid your boyfriend pestering you again.

If you leave him when his career is at a low point, financial difficulties, and emotional depression, he may think that life is meaningless to him, and he will gather his resentment on you. It is hard for him to imagine what he will do if he loses his mind matter.

4. Talk about breaking up according to the different personalities of men

(1) For a well-educated and helpful man, you can directly say to him: "It's not suitable for us to be a husband and wife, let's be good friends!"

(2) For a man who is not dangerous and worthless as a friend, you can alienate the distance and dilute the relationship on the grounds that you are busy with work, let him wake up, and then say to him: "We don't have that fate, let's break up."

(3) For those men who are domineering and unreasonable, they must break up in front of the introducer or elders, and decisively say: "We don't want to meet again." Don't explain the reasons in detail. Threats of violence, you can warn him that he will resort to the law, and at the same time temporarily leave for a period of time on the grounds of business trips, family visits, and tourism, so that he has a process of emotional cooling.In addition, you can also tell his parents and friends about his threat, and ask them to persuade him with kind words.However, it is generally not possible to tell the leader of his unit, as this will stimulate his emotions even more.

The Psychology of a Broken Man

Although he is not that bad, but you feel that he is not suitable for you, or you meet a man who is more suitable for you, then you will take the initiative to break up.At this time, you need to understand the psychology of a man after a lovelorn, try to avoid causing him more harm, and prevent him from hurting you.

After a lovelorn, a man's general psychological performance is as follows:

1. Sadness, Pain, Anger, and Despair
After some men lose love suddenly, they will feel great sadness and pain at first, followed by anger and despair.Under the control of such strong emotions, if there are external stimuli, such as the instigation of others or the stimulation of love objects, he may make reckless and abnormal behaviors, such as committing suicide and taking revenge on others.

2. A strong sense of revenge
This kind of psychology usually exists in some men whose feelings have been deceived and played with.In order to vent their anger and dissatisfaction, they may take irrational and extreme actions.There are also those who broke their cans and smashed their cans, and simply used their own sinking to retaliate against the society and others.

3. A strong sense of inferiority complex
Some men will have a strong inferiority complex due to the frustration of their self-esteem, and some even close the emotional floodgates, refuse love, become depressed, and become withdrawn and weird. In severe cases, they may have suicidal tendencies.

4. Take anger out on others or things
After a lovelorn, a man is very easy to vent his anger on others or things, manifested as irritable, has an inexplicable hatred towards all the opposite sex, does not go well in everything, is easy to get angry and loses his temper, even with relatives and friends.This kind of unwarranted anger often leads to extreme behavior and affects the calming down of lovelorn emotions.

According to the different psychological reactions of men after falling out of love, we can divide men into the following types:

1. Rational type

After falling out of love, you can calmly, rationally, and objectively analyze the reasons for falling out of love, don't increase hatred for yourself or the other party, don't exert pressure, don't give up on yourself, and can pay attention to psychological adjustment after breaking up in love.Most lovelorn people in life belong to this type.

2. Infatuated type

This kind of man's affection for his former girlfriend does not diminish after breaking up in love, and he is still entangled in the emotional entanglements of the past, resulting in a serious sense of loss and depression.This mentality sometimes affects physical and mental health and the handling of future marriage and love problems.This type is more common in those who have been in love for a long time or when the man is very infatuated with the woman.

3. Self-blaming

After falling out of love, they close themselves, fall into loneliness, depression, shame and remorse, and are unable to extricate themselves, self-indulgence, self-punishment, self-destruction, and even psychological crisis.

4. Aggressive

Many men will develop a kind of hatred after falling out of love. Most of this hatred is buried in their hearts and will gradually disappear as time goes by.However, if the hatred is too strong and the psychology cannot be balanced, it can lead to revenge and behavior.

This situation is more common in possessive, narrow-minded, and vengeful men.The degree of aggression of this kind of man after falling out of love varies: the mild ones spread rumors and conduct personal attacks; the severe ones take revenge by any means, hurt the other party's body, and even cause disfigurement, maiming, and killing.In real life, there are endless cases of revenge on each other because of broken love.Men's revenge and aggressive behavior after falling out of love are sometimes generalized to target all women.

5. Sublimation type

Some men don't lose their ambitions when they lose love, face up to setbacks, eliminate pain, learn from the loss of love, and constantly improve themselves.At the same time, rise up and work hard in broken love, turn pain into motivation, and pursue emotional sublimation and career success.Goethe wrote "The Sorrows of Young Werther" and became famous in history after falling out of love.

(End of this chapter)