learn psychology everyday

Chapter 35 Psychology of Success and Failure--An Invisible Hand (2)
As the saying goes: Time is like a plow, and sooner or later it will carve many traces in our lives.Under the dancing of the coulter of the years, what we will look like depends on our performance.

Satisfaction with reality is an expression of optimism.

Dissatisfaction with reality is an internal drive to make progress.

You hope that there will be bursts of applause from the audience, and you hope that your every day will be memorable and wonderful, then, you should perform well: adjust your emotions, clear your mind, even if the sky is gloomy, you just need to Think of it as cloudless and sunny, and it will still be a beautiful and comfortable day.

All this, the key is to rely on yourself to perform.

Psychologists tell you that turning pessimism into optimism can be done through the following steps.

1. Change negative thinking patterns
The 4 numbers at the end of a gentleman's phone number are "1414", which seems to be "death", but the gentleman smiled: "In my opinion, this number is very auspicious. When you want to sing staves, What does 1414 sing? It sings 'all calls, all calls', right? So this number is always sent."

It can be seen from this that when we encounter setbacks and difficulties, we only need to turn our thinking in an optimistic direction to see hope.And if you can develop the habit of optimistic thinking, then you can maintain a positive and optimistic attitude for a long time.

2. Change negative behavior patterns

Both prisoners looked out from the bars in the prison. One saw the black soil, while the other saw the sky full of stars. "Looking up" may not immediately change our predicament at that time, but it can plant the seeds of hope in our hearts and help us survive the difficult days.

3. Change negative language patterns
In our daily life, we often hear all kinds of negative words, such as "tired", "impossible", "finished", "hopeless"... Maybe the people who said these words were just venting for a while, or They blurt out habitually, without realizing that these words will have a bad influence on them.In fact, these words will bring negative cues to them, affecting their thinking and actions through the subconscious.Therefore, people who yearn for optimism must not let negative words affect their enthusiasm, and try not to say negative words.When you feel tired, instead of saying "I'm so exhausted today", we can say "It's nice to be able to relax after a busy day"; Instead, it should be said, "Although I didn't succeed this time, I also learned a lot from it, and I will definitely do better next time."Usually say more positive things to yourself, encourage yourself more, say to yourself "I can do it", "I am awesome", "I feel very happy"... Gradually, you will find that you have really become like that.

4. Change negative lifestyle

The famous writer Shi Tiesheng told a story in the novel "Life is like Strings". It is about a blind man who seeks doctors everywhere because he cannot see the light all day long. Later, the doctor taught him how to play the piano. Naturally.The blind man happily learned to play the piano, so his life was happily spent every day in the sound of the piano, and his life became more and more fulfilling.When he broke 1000 strings, his eyesight was not restored, but the blind man no longer worried, because he already felt the optimism and joy of life.

Set goals for yourself, have a fulfilling life, and devote yourself to work to keep yourself busy, occupy your mind with meaningful activities, and squeeze out unhappiness.

Of course, the formation of an optimistic attitude does not happen overnight. It requires us to have a long-term struggle with negative thinking, behavior, language and lifestyle, and we need to stand the test of difficulties and setbacks.

We can't see the sun because we keep our heads down, so we can only see our own shadow.The optimist is open to all rivers, and can sail not only leaf boats, but also sea ships!It can not only accommodate hidden reefs and stormy waves, but also accommodate stones and ripples; the pessimist's heart is like a small path, walking in the vast forest of life is a blindfold, seeing trees but not forests, only hills but not Mount Tai.

Use an optimistic attitude to bravely face the success or failure of life, I believe that every footprint left is a song of success!
Psychology class:
1. If people are optimistic, everything has resistance, everything can resist, and everything will increase resistance.

2. Optimism is a positive character and mood.It can stimulate people's vitality and potential, resolve contradictions, and overcome difficulties.

3. When encountering difficulties and challenges in the course of life, I believe that as long as we are optimistic and enterprising, each of us will be the master of our lives.

Perseverance - from the start to success
Persistence refers to perseverance in something, not detachment from it.Later, it refers to stubbornness or stickiness, and also refers to perseverance.For major life events such as career, future, and life goals, persistently pursue them.

The starting point of all success is desire, but in the process of turning desire into success, tenacious will is one of the most important personality characteristics of a person.

Success and failure are often only one step away. If you persist for one more second, you may succeed.But unfortunately, as long as many people encounter difficulties, they will choose to give up without thinking.

The American Salesman Association has conducted a long-term investigation and research on salesman's visits, and found that:
48% of salesmen flinched after encountering setbacks in the first visit; 25% of salesmen also retreated after encountering setbacks in the second visit; After setbacks, they also gave up; 12% of the salesmen also retreated after encountering setbacks on the fourth visit; only 5% of the salesmen persevered and were not discouraged, and continued to visit.As a result, 10% of the successful sales cases were achieved by the 80% salesmen who visited more than 10 times in a row.

The reason why most salesmen have poor efficiency is that they are afraid of rejection from customers.Although they really want to sell successfully in their hearts, they are often stagnant, so even if they have a lot of knowledge and skills, they have no room for display.But real salesmen are different from these people. They have tenacious patience and a good mentality of "sincerity is what makes gold and stone open". They often regard rejection as commonplace and are ready to be rejected.Therefore, even if they are not accepted by customers, it doesn't matter if they go into battle.

People often say "persistence is victory", and there is nothing wrong with this sentence.why is that?Because there is usually only one step between success and failure, but if you persist, you may succeed.Otherwise, you may fail.

In the United States, there was a young man who was impoverished. All his money was not enough to buy a decent suit, but he had his own dream, that is-to be an actor, to make a movie, to be a star, and for a long time. Since then, he has been sticking to this dream wholeheartedly.

At that time, there were 500 film companies in Hollywood, and he counted them all, and more than once.Later, according to the route he carefully planned and the order of the list, he went to visit these companies with his own tailor-made scripts, but none of the 500 film companies was willing to hire him.

Faced with this [-]% rejection, the young man was not discouraged or disappointed.When he walked out of the last film company that was rejected.He started the second visit and self-recommendation, starting from the first company he originally visited.

In the second round of visits, his ending was the same as the first time, that is, all 500 film companies once again rejected him.

Later, the young people conducted a third round of visits, and the result was still the same as the second round.That's it, the young man still didn't give up, he gritted his teeth and started the fourth round of visits.When he visited the 350th one, the boss of the film company agreed to read his script.

A few days later, the young man was notified and asked him to discuss in detail.

It was during this negotiation that the company decided to invest in the filming of the film and let the young man play the leading role.

The movie is called Rocky.The young man's name was Sylvester Stallone.If we look at the history of movies, we will know that both this movie and this character are on the list, and Sylvester Stallone was a superstar who was popular all over the world at that time.

The 10th century English evangelist Whitefield is a typical example.In the process of pursuing a successful career, he experienced many condemnations from public opinion, even suffered excommunication, pressure to close the church, and finally was forced to leave the town where he lived.But he did not give up his faith, and he still preached on the wandering road.Some hostiles also hired people to dress up as the devil to taunt him by throwing him slime, rotten eggs, rotten tomatoes, and pieces of dead cat meat, etc. These saboteurs threw things at him more than once , but throwing it again and again until he was smashed to the ground. Many celebrities of his contemporaries whipped and ridiculed him. He encountered such things more than a dozen times a day, but all this None of these hindered his missionary work.Because he knows that his career is beneficial to the public.After all the hard work, thousands of believers began to flock to the fields outside London to hear him preach.He preached to miners in Wales and Scotland, and raised donations for orphanages.Later, he became the most legendary and charming preacher.Persistence is our step towards success.Those successful people in history have proved this theorem with their experience.The famous Japanese entrepreneur Kotoshi Sochi once said that once you decide what you want to do, you must take the belief of victory and work hard to the end with perseverance.

People have no limit of effort, what is often lacking is a firm will... Therefore, when we encounter a wall, we must make up our minds to pass through it.Even if you fail, keep your eyes on the target, and finally climb over it if possible.

In the journey of life, we often encounter all kinds of setbacks and failures, and we will fall into some unexpected difficulties for no reason.At this time, please don't easily say to yourself to give up, thinking that you have nothing.In the face of setbacks and failures, as long as our firm belief in our hearts is not extinguished, as long as we work hard to find, I believe we will be able to find a way to tide ourselves over.As long as you have a firm belief, there is no wind and rain that you can't go through, and there is no dangerous road that you can't cross.

Psychology class:
1. Tens of millions of people fail because they did not do things thoroughly; they often stop when they are one step away from success.

2. Luck always appears at the end of victory.

3. Successful people need this kind of self-motivation and self-motivation.Encouragement and encouragement are not gifts from others, but a game you play with yourself. Always think about problems from a positive perspective, so that you will not be affected by negative mentality, and you will be closer to success.So, please run in the direction you want at any time!
Louwich's Theorem--Modity Makes Progress
Luweisi theorem, American psychologist Luweisi put forward.Humility isn't thinking badly about yourself, it's not thinking about yourself at all.If you think too well of yourself, it's easy to think badly of others.

People with real talents and learning are often modest and prudent; those who are ignorant and ignorant are often arrogant and self-righteous, so that they can be teachers.

Mr. Cai Yuanpei, one of the Chinese writers and cultural pioneers in the 20th century, once had such an anecdote: An exhibition of famous Chinese paintings was held in London. The organizing committee sent people to Nanjing and Shanghai to supervise the selection of famous paintings for the museum. Both Mr. Cai and Lin Yutang participated in the work.French sinologist Bo Xihe considers himself an expert in China, and he can't stop talking when he tours and observes.In order to show his expertise, Pelliot said to Mr. Cai: "The silk color of this Song painting is good," "The Huizong goose is undoubtedly genuine", and how about the ink color and seal, etc.Lin Yutang paid attention to Mr. Cai's expression. He did not express his approval or disapproval, but politely whispered: "Yes, yes." He looked calm and calm.Later, if Pelliot came to his senses, he kept his mouth shut, with a look of fear on his face. Probably from Cai Yuanpei's expression and demeanor, he was worried that he said something wrong, and he didn't know if he made a fool of himself!Later, when Lin Yutang talked about Mr. Cai Yuanpei, he also sighed about Pelliot's case: "This is the self-cultivation of the Chinese, and it reflects a wonderful picture of foreigners showing off."

Modesty represents a person's degree of cognition and state of consciousness.Many great men are very humble. The greater they are, the more humble they are. It’s not all about pretending to be good-looking, because the more knowledge you have, the more you see, the more you will find yourself small.

Mei Lanfang, a master of Peking Opera, not only has deep attainments in Peking Opera art, but also a master of painting.He took the famous painter Qi Baishi as his teacher, asked for advice humbly, always performed the gift of a disciple, often polished ink and laid paper for the old man Baishi, and was not proud of being a foreign actor at all.

Mei Lanfang not only takes painters as his teachers, but also ordinary people as his teachers.Once when he was performing Peking Opera "Sha Xi", he heard an elderly audience say "not good" amidst many applause.Before Mei Lanfang had time to undress and change clothes, he took the old man home in a special car.Respectfully and respectfully said to the old man: "The person who said I was bad is my teacher. Sir, if he said I was bad, he must have a good opinion. Please enlighten me. The student is determined to make up for it." The old man pointed out: "Yan Xijiao went upstairs and downstairs. According to the regulations of the Liyuan, the steps should be up and down, why does the doctor go up and down?" Mei Lanfang suddenly realized, and thanked him repeatedly.From then on, Mei Lanfang often invited this old gentleman to watch him act, asked him to correct him, and called him "teacher".

Franklin is known as the father of America.When talking about the way to success, he said it all started with a visit.When he was young, an old man invited him to meet him in a small low hut.Franklin came, he straightened his chest, strided forward, and as soon as he entered the door, there was a "bang", his forehead hit the door frame heavily, and it swelled up immediately, making him dumbfounded by the pain.Seeing his appearance, the old man smiled and said, "It hurts, right? You know? This is your biggest gain today. If a person wants to gain insight into the world and understand human feelings, he must always remember to bow his head."

Franklin regarded this visit as an enlightenment. He firmly remembered the teachings of his predecessors and listed humility as his life principle.

Socrates, the famous ancient Greek philosopher, not only was full of talents and wrote many books, but also recruited students to reward the underachievers, and used famous enlightening talks to enlighten young people's wisdom.Whenever people praised his profound knowledge and superior wisdom, he always said humbly: "The only thing I know is my own ignorance."

Newton, known as the "Father of Mechanics", discovered the law of universal gravitation, and in thermodynamics, he determined the law of cooling.In mathematics, he proposed the "flow number method", established the binomial theorem and Leibniz created calculus almost at the same time, opening up a new era in mathematics.He was a great scientist with many accomplishments, yet he was very humble.Regarding his own success, he said modestly: "If I have seen a little farther than Descartes, it is because I stand on the shoulders of giants." He also said to people: "I am just like a beachgoer. Children, sometimes happily pick up a smooth and beautiful stone, and the sea of ​​truth has not yet been discovered."

Confucius is a famous thinker and educator in ancient my country. He is knowledgeable but never complacent.When he was traveling around the world, on the way to Jin, he met a seven-year-old boy blocking the way and asked him to answer two questions before giving way.One is: Why do geese cry loudly.Confucius replied: "The goose has a long neck, so it screams loudly."The child said: "The frog's neck is very short, why is it so loud?"Confucius was speechless.He said to the students ashamedly, I am not as good as him, he can be my teacher!
Even a saint, outside his field of expertise, has to maintain a humble attitude and put himself in the lowest position.What's more, we are all ordinary people.

The following is the application of Luvis's theorem in real life. I hope to remind everyone again that humility is the most basic principle of success.To this day, Li Ka-shing, who is the richest Chinese man, still says modestly: "Don't keep mentioning me, what kind of superman am I? Why not be humble?
1. Be humble first.If you think too well of yourself, it is easy to think badly of others;

2. There must be a degree of humility.Humility is not thinking bad about yourself;

3. We must deal with the scale of modesty.Learn humbly what you don’t understand or what you don’t understand enough; you should do your best to complete the job duties that should be done by yourself, and don’t lose the opportunity to show your talents because of being too modest.

Humility makes one progress, and pride makes one lag behind. I think this is a saying that all of us are all too familiar with.No matter when, we should remember: humble people will grow in continuous progress.

Psychology class:
1. Do not boast in the slightest, pride and complacency will overturn.

2. Not complacent, willing to accept criticism, and humbly ask others for advice.

3. Modesty is a virtue and a necessary prerequisite for progress and success.

Mindsets - What Makes Us So "Stupid"

(End of this chapter)