The growth of a sweet wife

Chapter 54

After all, I was in tears. It turned out that he had prepared everything, but I hadn’t prepared anything. I didn’t seem to have taken the initiative, except for the debauchery caused by loneliness and emptiness. Marriage was just a passing scene, and I never paid attention to it. However, the marriage with him always feels a bit wrong, I think he is also aware of it, otherwise there would be no such thing as "honeymoon travel plans".

"I have been accommodating you since I met you, because you are a woman, you are a patient, you are a pregnant woman, you are Han's sister, can't you feel it?" His words could not fade away for a long time, what made him I forgot how good he was to me, was it because he misunderstood me just now, or because I saw him being intimate with other women, how could I forget who was always by my side when I was most lonely, Who dragged me out of the desperate situation of broken love, who gave me shoulders when I needed to rely on, who took care of me when I was pregnant, who was it?who is it?How did I forget.

"We divorced?" How could I say such a thing?What qualifications do I have to say such things, how did I forget our vows, what made me lose my mind, how could I be so self-willed, Xiao He, you are 27 years old, you are a woman of Ben San, you are no longer A girl, not even a woman anymore, you are already a mother, how can you be so impulsive?
The clock turned to nine o'clock, I didn't turn on the light, the light coming in from the window was enough for me to see clearly, there was only a faint light in the room, I sat on the bed with my legs crossed, crying uncontrollably, how could he You haven't come back yet, are you angry?Yes, I said such unfeeling words, why isn't he angry?Yun, come back quickly!I know I was wrong, I will never do this again, I will never be willful, and I will not make trouble for no reason.

The night gradually became quiet, leaving only a ray of moonlight in the sky. Whether it is China or South Korea, or France, there is only one moon after all. Its weak and scattered light is like the flickering light of fireflies. The light in the window is countless fireflies flying, bugs fly, bugs fly, who are you missing?
I am looking at the loneliness of the night, yes, I am afraid of this feeling, alone in this dark world, feeling locked in a narrow black box, unable to breathe, I feel lonely like never before, feeling I fell to the ground from the sky and fell heavily. I was dizzy and my eyes were full of mushroom clouds.

The clock turned to ten o'clock, and my body was already a little tired, but I refused to close my eyes, just like a dying old man who still has a last word to say, unable to let go of anything, unable to sleep peacefully on the pillow, and struggling with sleepiness desperately Struggle, I have to wait for him to come back, I have to explain, I will explain in the most calm state.I dare not lie down, I am afraid that as soon as I fall, sleepiness will wrap my whole body, give up the position immediately, and become a prisoner, and I dare not play music or turn on the TV, I am afraid that as soon as there is a sound, it will make me explode. I am afraid that I will be irritable and say something insincere because of irritableness, hurting others and myself.Let me just stay like this, let me stay quietly, abandon everything, no sound, no color, close my eyes and ears, and think and remember carefully.

When the clock turned to twelve o'clock, I suddenly heard the sound of "dong dong dong dong", and the window was still showing off a little color. I guessed that someone was setting off fireworks, so I got up to watch. Fireworks, showing beautiful patterns one after another in the air, the waves in my heart are also wave after wave, such beautiful fireworks, but unfortunately only for a moment, just like a short-lived epiphyllum.Someone once used fireworks to describe love, although the beauty is only for a moment, and after the beauty, it will fall silently. What the eyes see is only the colorful blooming moment, and no one notices the poignant beauty and sadness of the fall.Then how can the phrase "desolate, desolate and miserable" be able to be described in words?
Strange to say, after watching the fireworks, I didn’t feel sleepy anymore. It seemed that all my drowsiness would be frightened by the beautiful, short and rapid sound, and I didn’t dare to attack. The two mobile phones placed on the bed became interesting.

Husband, I was wrong, forgive me, please?I will never say such things again.I used my mobile phone to send to his mobile phone, and then used his mobile phone to send back and forth to myself.

It's good to know what's wrong, and knowing what's wrong can make a big difference.I forgive you.After posting, I wanted to laugh, he wouldn't reply like this, and I couldn't say such a thing to him, if it was Zhong, I was used to putting on a face in front of him, maybe I could get rid of this face, but to him No, why?Is it because I don't love deeply enough?But since I don't love deeply, why am I so troubled because of him?He's not just my husband, he's my daughter's dad.How could I not love him deeply?Yes, we are not lovers anymore, we are husband and wife?I know how to get along as a couple, but I don’t know how to manage a husband and wife. How could I be so vulgar and ignorant to think that love and marriage are of the same nature, and how can I ask men to clearly separate marriage and work?

you are not a fish, how to know the joy of fish?You are not me, how do you know what I am thinking?Even though our bodies have been combined, our souls cannot be intertwined. He is like a wild goose in the sky. In addition to being free, he also aspires to be the master of living beings, soar through the clear sky, conquer all things, and become a king.And I'm just a fish in the water, I just want to play freely with the current and be with the aquatic plants, I have no ambitions, I just want to be safe.We have something in common, we all have freedom, but unfortunately we are only the "two rays" triggered by the point of "freedom" gradually separated from each other, and the distance is getting farther and farther.

The clock is already pointing to three o'clock in the morning, and the door has not been opened after all, and the two mobile phones have already sent a "battery low" signal for me to send text messages to each other.I know I can't wait any longer, I should go to him, how can he see my sincerity just by admitting my mistake?But I don't know where to look for it, but even if I search aimlessly, he will be happy if he knows that I have found it. I turned on the light, dressed, and went out. The outside of the hotel is still bright, in the city Here, there will never be absolute "darkness". Street lamps and car taillights are always bright. They can always cut through the silence of the night and add a color.

Facing strange streets and unfamiliar words, I began to feel confused, what should I do?I stood at the door of the hotel, still daring to move.Where can I go?I have no idea?Where will he go?I don't know either.

Whether time is fast or slow, I don’t know how to judge it. The fast is the dawn, and the slow is that the process of waiting for the dawn is long. I feel that the time I wait for the dawn is enough for an ant to travel around the world. There is only enough time for ants to travel around the world on the map.

He didn't come back, didn't come back all night?What is it to deal with all night, what is it that makes him so relieved that I am alone, does he not know that I am afraid of the night, has he completely forgotten that I was also injured just now?Doesn't he worry about me?

I laughed, really funny isn't it?Where am I wrong, I saw my husband talking and laughing with other women, why can't I blame, I know my husband was distracted from work during the honeymoon, why can't I be angry, why am I when he loses his temper with me Can't play tricks?I'm not wrong at all?Is it wrong for him to leave me alone?It’s his fault if he doesn’t explain, it’s his fault if he doesn’t listen to my explanation, it’s his fault if he calls me rough, everything is his fault, why do I always do this Things, do love and happiness come from waiting foolishly?Thinking of the ten hours at the airport that year, why am I still so stupid, I will never do such a stupid thing again.

I booked a plane ticket back to China, so honeymoon, love, and marriage will all go to hell!It's a pity that after all, his will was not firm, so he had a glimmer of hope in him, and left a note: I really miss Kexin, I'm going back to China first, you can go back after you finish your business, and talk about things when you go home.

(End of this chapter)