The FBI teaches you lie detection, people reading and intelligence skills

Chapter 22 Deciphering Lies Requires Persuasion

People who lie for whatever reason don't let their lies get away easily.To get the truth behind the lies, the FBI pointed out that it must be properly and skillfully guided.

When the liar is unwilling to disclose any information for his own benefit or for the sake of others; or when the liar is careful to cover up his fabricated lies. The FBI teaches that you can use the following tricky methods to guide liars.Every liar's psychological state is different, so there are some differences in the method of guidance.

§§§ Section [-] Extends Liar's Statement
This method of guidance can be used to determine whether the other party is lying.All you need to do is expand on the "facts" she stated earlier in detail.If she doesn't correct the traps you set in your statement, it's a sign that he's probably lying.

Secretary Lucy felt unwell and asked to take leave early to go home.Once she's finished, the boss can say, "Oh, well, if you have a fever and a terrible headache, go home." Lucy never explains what symptoms she has, the boss just extends her story.Lucy, who has always been very strict, if the boss finished saying this, if Lucy didn't correct the boss's words, then Lucy would be suspected of lying. She was just eager to achieve the goal of going home, but Lucy didn't pay attention. A small trap set by the boss to extend Lucy's rhetoric.

§§§The second section turns the problem around
When someone is reluctant to reveal the truth about something because it involves another person, you have to turn a corner skillfully to get the truth.

John's subordinate mentioned to John that another colleague had screwed up an order.

If John had asked, "What went wrong with him?" he would probably have gotten nowhere.However, by turning the problem around and creating a bait, John's subordinates can let go.

John said, "If you were handling this order, how would your approach be different?"

This clever turn made him open his mouth.In order to prove his ability, he will compare the practice of another colleague while talking about how he will operate.And all you notice is that something went wrong with that colleague.

When turning the question around, it is generally turned to a positive aspect; the other party feels that answering your question is doing a very correct thing.If you ask in a simple and straightforward way, the other party may die and refuse to reveal a word.

§§§The third section brings the problem to a private level
Sometimes people refuse to tell the truth because they are in a position of power.In such cases, it is usually inappropriate and unproductive to argue the bottom line.Therefore, at this time, you may have to bring the content of the conversation to a personal level.

Trying to close a deal with a buyer, but the buyer doesn't want to buy.You didn't give a convincing reason.You ask the buyer why, he may answer lukewarmly no why.

You can say something like: "I live off this business. My whole family depends on me. Obviously, our product is beautiful and you are a reasonable person. Can you tell me where I offended you?"

After listening to this statement, the buyer must say, "Oh, you misunderstood me, you didn't offend me, you just..."

Entering private territory and using the word "offensive".The only way for the buyer to prove that you have not offended him is to give a real reason for not wanting to buy your product.

§§§ Section [-] Guiding Methods for Embarrassing Liars
Some liars are reluctant to tell you the truth, possibly out of embarrassment.At this point, the usual tactics won't work because the other person may not feel obligated to tell you; and it's likely that he won't gain anything by telling the truth.So, you have to set some boot details to get the truth.

1. Let’s say your son doesn’t want to talk about being bullied
You can guide him like this: "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it." (This is a crucial opening sentence, which can relieve the other party's psychological burden, and even if he doesn't want to talk, he won't be blamed.) The same thing happened to me when I was your age. And, after I learned how to deal with people who bullied me, he stopped bothering me."

Then the child will definitely ask you how you deal with those "bullies", and he will naturally tell how he was bullied.

2. If your patient is unwilling to talk about her previous sexual relationships

You can lead like this: "I understand your hesitation, if you don't want to talk, then we won't talk. Next, I want to ask you some questions, you just need to answer simply 'yes or no', 'yes or It’s fine if there’s no’, you just need to answer truthfully.” In fact, all doubts can be set as a yes-no question, as long as you get a definite answer, the truth will be exposed.

3. You guessed that the trainee secretary also put the documents that were copied into the shredder

You guide her like this: "Miss Linda, if it's you who mixed up the papers and put them in the shredder, that's okay. I'll tell you a secret. I remember one time when I first started my internship here, I was supposed to make photocopies A couple of lunch menus, only to have the confidential memo copied."

If you want to get the truth, you have to make the other person trust you.The best way to do this is to share your secrets first.This method can immediately make the other person feel at ease.Sharing your secrets first shows that you trust the other person, and that the other person feels obligated to share something he did that made him uncomfortable.

§§§ Section [-] uses topics to guide liars

The "ritual" you go through when you pass someone in the hallway: You smile and she smiles; you nod and smile and she nods and smiles; you say "hi" and she usually does the same response.Whoever responds to the situation first controls how they communicate with each other.You can manipulate what guides the conversation to make it go in the direction you choose.

In order to get the truth, you may wish to steer the conversation in a particular direction.In fact, you can do it very effectively by using just a few carefully chosen words.After the other person has said something, you can use the following key phrases to take the conversation in any direction you choose.You can use these key phrases to capture information in any conversation.

Topic Lead 1: "You mean..."

"You mean..." guides the other person's thinking and draws the conversation into a larger picture, allowing you to see his full situation.After using this sentence to guide, it will generally explain the whole story.

"Now I am in charge of the main work of the entire company."

"what do you mean……"

"When the boss left, he asked me to be in charge of the operation. If you have any questions, you can discuss with me."

Topic Guide 2: "In this case..."

"In this way..." is used as a guide, allowing you to obtain more side information and collect additional relevant facts.

"I'm sorry, we really tried our best."

"In this case……"

"It's clearly priced. We've checked the price list and delivery note 3 times."

Topic Guide 3: "Then..."

"Then now..." This guidance can make the other party transform their attitude and position into specific actions.He will further explain exactly what his intentions are, and what you should do.

"It is our policy to support the owners and not let them down."

"Then now..."

"We will negotiate with relevant departments to minimize the loss of the owners, and everything is centered on the interests of the owners."

Topic Lead 4: "Then..."

The "So..." response can make the other person a little more precise and allow you to get the details.

"Our company will give you a good space for development."

"So……"

"If you work for a period of time and all the assessments are good, we will promote your position."

§§§Section [-] Key words to discover the truth
If you want to discover the truth, there are actually some very simple keywords that can help you.As long as you use key words skillfully, you can make the other party tell the truth.The following 3 keywords just can play this role.

The words "because," "let's," and "try it out" are very effective in uncovering the truth.

If the other party's explanation follows the word "because", we will think his argument is convincing.

"Let's" can create a group vibe, creating a bandwagon effect.It's a positive word that can make a difference.

The trivial word "try it out" is actually a powerful motivator because it implies "you're not going to make it anyway" and instills a "what's the loss" mentality.We all like to "try" things.

The cashier took out 40 yuan from the cash received and paid.All you have to do is say, "Is the $40 taken out of cash? Let's try to withdraw no more than $80 at a time, because it's better that way." Such a friendly statement.In doing so, it is easier to get the truth, because no one will feel compelled to defend himself after hearing this statement.It didn't matter that she told the truth.

So when you want to get some information but don't want the other person to feel accusatory or critical, use keywords like "because" "let's" "try it out"!
§§§ Section VII Specific Response Guidance
Sometimes, we don't get the truth because in the process of dialogue, our responses are more abstract.Make the other party's answer concise.If you use a specific response method, it can help you effectively obtain a more direct and true answer.For example:
Meeting participant: "I don't think the meeting was very successful."

Meeting Organizer: "How?"

Conference participant: "That's what I think!"

"How come?" is a very abstract response.The following specific responses will give you a better grasp of the real situation:
"What are you comparing it to?"

"How bad is it?"

If you respond with specificity like this, the other person will feel obligated to respond.And in response to a general response, asking an abstract question, the other party often gives a short answer without giving a reason.

The specific response is that the scope of the answer can be narrowed, and the narrowed answer will be closer to the factual situation.Use this technique whenever you want to clarify an abstract, ambiguous answer.

§§§ Section [-] How to Take the Initiative

You are a master lie detector, capable of getting the truth out of any conversation, in any situation.But if you don't have a chance to speak, you can't cast it.If the other party talks endlessly, or keeps interrupting you, leaving you unable to say a word, it will be difficult for you to find out the truth in a short time.Here are a few great ways you can take the initiative.Bring the topic to your side:
"so……"

"I don't want you to miss this..."

"I have something to ask for your opinion."

"I know you want me to ask you this..."

"I hope this doesn't offend you, but..."

"I hope this news doesn't upset you."

"There's something, maybe you can help me."

"You're probably the only one who knows the answer."

"You're a smart guy, let me ask you a question."

"You keep interrupting me, making you look stupid."

"Do you have a good memory? Great, then you won't forget..."

"I just said half of what I just said, I'm sorry if I interrupted you."

"I'm sorry if the facts contradict your opinion. But, I want to know..."

§§§ Section [-]. Ask the other person clear questions
When talking to someone, you may intuit that they may be lying, so ask them specific, specific questions about your suspicions.If he responds quickly and effortlessly, it means he's telling the truth.If how long it took him to respond, then he might be lying.Because people who lie will go through it in their hearts first, and then respond after confirming that it is reasonable, so it takes a while.Moreover, since he has not experienced the plot in the fabricated lie, the description in detail will be very poor.

For example, one of your colleagues came back from vacation and advertised that he went to Florence for vacation, but in fact he stayed at home all the time.To get him to confide in the truth, you can start by asking him how the weather is in Florida and how are you having fun.He may happily describe the weather there and his feelings for half a day.

You should go further and ask him questions like "Have you rented a car", and ask a few more questions in a consistent style as if nothing happened.Once he has answered yes to any of these questions, move on to the details.

If he lies, he will try to make sense of the storyline and will take time for further answers.If he always says a few words lightly about the topic you raised, and then changes the subject in a hurry, there is only one case, and that is that he feels uneasy about the question you raised.

An honest narrator should generally expect the other party to continue the topic, not end the conversation.Unless they're lying, most people will be in high spirits and gush about a new restaurant they went to, where they went to hang out, what interesting things they encountered, etc.

§§§Section [-] Fabricating "Facts" to Lead the Truth

To capture the truth behind a lie, you can also include a "fact" and ask the other person to comment on that "fact."This "fact" was made up by you, but the fact you made up should be reasonable enough to fit into his lie.

When fabricating "facts" to guide the truth, you should pay attention to the following guidelines:
This "fact" must be fiction.

What you say has to sound reasonable.

Your rhetoric must be able to have a direct impact on him, so the "facts" he hears from you must be first-hand information.

Lucy is at a party and a man accosts her, announcing that he has just returned from a trip to South Africa.Lucy felt that his words seemed to be lying.At this time, Lucy can say to the man: "One of my uncles works at the capital Pretoria Airport. He said that every passenger entering Africa must first undergo a medical examination." Once he agrees with Lucy's rhetoric , to support the "fact" that he had indeed been to Africa, Lucy knew that his trip to South Africa was fake.If he did go to South Africa, he'd say he didn't know what your uncle was talking about, and he didn't ask to be examined.

§§§ No. 11 requires the liar to prove what was said

In this method of facilitation, you ask the other person to prove that what you say is true in a non-threatening way.

The FBI once said: In the face of a colleague who claimed to be on vacation in Florence, except for asking clever questions to make him reveal the truth.You can also tell him that you are very happy to admire the photos he took in Florosa.He'd be more than happy to share pictures of his vacation if he'd actually been.If he explained that I didn't take a picture, that it didn't come out well, that I forgot to take the lens cap off when I took it - that would be suspicious.

(End of this chapter)