Life management lessons of choice and abandonment

Chapter 2 Happiness is not where you stand, but the direction you choose (1)
There is happiness in the heart, traveling between heaven and earth, everywhere is not happy.

Joy is a flower in the heart, worry is a thorn in the heart
Niebuhr has a famous prayer saying: "God, please give us the mind and the generosity to accept the unchangeable things calmly; please give us the wisdom to distinguish what can be changed from what cannot be changed." Changed." No one can tell you what's going to happen in your life, so worrying about it can only haunt you and make your life worse.It's better to learn from the old people below and choose to accept tomorrow's weather, rain or shine.

There was an American traveler spending a holiday in the north of Scotland.The man asked an old man sitting by the wall, "How will the weather be tomorrow?" The old man replied, "I like the weather," without even looking at the sky. The traveler asked again, "Will the sun come out?" I don't know," he replied. "So, will it rain?" "I don't want to know." By this time the traveler was completely confused. "Well," he said, "if it's the kind of weather you like, what would it be?" The old man looked at the American and said, "I knew a long time ago that I couldn't control the weather, so whatever Whatever the weather is, I like it."

Life is like the weather. It is not impossible to predict what the weather will be like tomorrow, but you can choose to like it and accept it no matter whether it is sunny or rainy.In the face of life, always maintain a calm heart to accept tomorrow. Even in difficult situations, a person who still maintains a calm state of mind is undoubtedly a person who will not despair in the face of adversity. This person is destined to never be crushed by life.

In life, it is inevitable to have troubles and anxiety. Don't worry about things beyond your control. You have the ability to decide your own attitude towards things.If you don't control them, they will control you.What happened has happened, good or bad, you have to face it bravely.At this time, your attitude towards it is important.

No matter what you're trying to achieve at this point, whether it's starting a company or preparing a simple dinner for a friend, things are likely to go awry.When you have done your best, but the so-called "destiny" beyond your control makes things worse, panic, anxiety, and regret will not help. It is better to face it calmly and maintain a good attitude to face the next thing.

To worry about things that cannot be changed or controlled, it is better to wait peacefully and learn to accept them.

Don't let time go by sighing for yesterday's wounds
The Buddha is merciful. In order to eliminate the suffering in the world, one day he gathered together one hundred people in the world who thought they were suffering the most.

Buddha asked them, "Are you suffering?"

People scrambled to say that they were in great pain.

Buddha said: "Good! Knowing that you are all in pain, now everyone writes your painful things on a note." Everyone finished writing quickly.

The Buddha said again: "Now take the note in your hand and exchange it with others."

After exchanging the pain of others, 100 people screamed in surprise, and then hurriedly wanted to return to their original pain.

Everyone has their own pain. What you think is happiness may be the source of other people's pain.There is an article "Why Happiness Is Always in the Distance", and I am also thinking about why happiness is in the distance. People who are happy in their own eyes only find out when they get closer that they also have their own misfortunes.In fact, people don’t need to compare happiness. Most of the time, by comparison, people always see other people’s happiness. They always compare other people’s satisfactory places with their own unsatisfactory places. Depressed.Unhappy people always believe that others are happier than themselves and more comfortable than themselves.As everyone knows, happiness is always far away.

Scarlett in "Gone with the Wind" said: "The sun is new every day." Indeed, no matter what encounters we face, it will rise as always and bring new hope and light to the world.And if our hearts are covered with clouds, it will obscure the sunshine in our hearts.Dispel the dark clouds of your mind and let the sunshine pass through, then the darkness will be insulated from you, and you will always live in a happy and comfortable atmosphere.

In the face of cursing and verbal abuse, sulking will not help. Instead, it will add new burdens to the tired body and make life more tiring.May wish to let go of your bad mood and welcome the good mood into your heart.

A person who is eager to achieve something must shake off the dark clouds in his heart.

There is nothing wrong in the world, so mediocre

There is a saying in "The Story of the West Chamber": "The flowers fall into the water and flow red, and there are all kinds of worries, and there are no words to complain about the east wind." What is the worries about all kinds of idleness?I'm worried when I have nothing to do.When there is nothing to complain about, blame Dongfeng.In fact, it's not just idlers who complain about Dongfeng silently, but also some eminent monks who have not achieved Buddhism.

Chan Master Baiyun Shouduan practiced Zen under Chan Master Fang Hui, but he was unable to achieve enlightenment for several years.One day, Chan Master Fanghui took the opportunity to chat with Chan Master Baiyun Shouduan in the square in front of the temple.Chan Master Fanghui asked, "Do you still remember how your master became enlightened?" Baiyun Shouduan replied, "My master became enlightened because of a fall one day. After enlightenment, he said a poem Verse: I have a bright pearl, which has been blocked by the dust for a long time, and now the dust is gone, and the light is born, shining through the mountains and rivers."

After listening to Chan Master Fang Hui, he laughed a few times and went straight away.Baiyun Shouduan was left stunned on the spot, thinking: "Am I wrong? Why did the teacher laugh at me?" Baiyun Shouduan couldn't let go of the laughter of Zen Master Hui Hui below. I often wake up for no reason.He couldn't stand it anymore, so he went to ask the teacher for clarification.

Chan Master Fang Hui listened to him talk about his troubles for the past few days, and said meaningfully: "Have you ever seen those clowns performing monkey tricks in front of the temple? The clowns tried their best to make the audience smile. I smiled at you that day, Not only do you not like it, but you don’t think about food and drink, and your dreams are restless. Someone like you who is so serious about the outside world is worse than a clown performing monkey tricks, how can you penetrate the Zen of mindless and formless?”

As the Zen master said, if you are too serious about the external environment, how can you penetrate the mindless and formless Zen?For ordinary people, as long as you don't bother yourself and don't be a mediocre person, you won't be entangled by many troubles.If a person can always maintain his original heart and not look for troubles in the face of changes in the world, he can have a happy and complete life.In life, there are many unsatisfactory things, the key lies in how you look at them.A life with troubles is the most real. Similarly, a life that takes troubles seriously is the most comfortable life.

There is nothing wrong in the world, so you don't have to be a mediocre person who looks for sorrows and hates Dongfeng.

Think about it, look away, there is no obstacle in life

In March 1945, Basil Moore and 3 other servicemen were on board the Beja S·S87 submarine.At that time, the radar detected a destroyer fleet coming in their direction, so they fired three torpedoes at one of the destroyers, but none of them hit.The ship was also not found.But when they were about to attack another minelayer, it suddenly turned around and came towards the sub, probably a Japanese aircraft saw the 318-foot sub and radioed the minelayer.

They immediately dived to 150 feet to avoid detection by the Japanese and to prepare for depth charges.They put extra layers of pegs on all the boat covers. After 3 minutes, the sky suddenly fell apart. Six depth charges exploded all around them, and they went straight to the bottom—6 and a half deep, and they were terrified.

Normally, if a submarine is attacked at less than 500 feet, a depth charge exploding within 17 feet of it is pretty much doomed.Basil Moore was too scared to breathe. He thought: "This time is over." After turning off the fan and air conditioning system, the temperature of the submarine rose to nearly 40 degrees, but Moore felt cold all over his body and his teeth were chattering. In a cold sweat. Fifteen hours later, the attack ceased, and apparently the minelayer ran out of bombs and left.

The 15-hour attack felt like 1500 years to Moore.All his past life came before him, and he thought of all the bad things he'd done, all the silly little things he'd worried about.

Moore said: "For years, those worrying things seemed big things, but how ridiculous and small they were when the depth charges threatened to send him to the west."

And that's when he swore to himself that if he ever had a chance to see the sun and the stars, he would never, never worry again.

It was only when Moore was in crisis that he realized that the big things that worried him before were so insignificant.The same thing, different people have different views.The same person, under different circumstances, will have different ideas.Look at problems with an optimistic, open-minded, and considerate attitude, and you will see the bright side of things; look at problems with a pessimistic, narrow, and harsh attitude, those small and trivial things will entangle you in worry, and you will feel that the world is gloomy .In fact, it is like two people locked in the same cell looking at the outside world through the bars. One sees the beautiful and mysterious starry sky, and the other sees the garbage and mud on the ground. This is a difference in mentality. difference.Although the momentary groans and laments of the pessimistic and disappointed people can get short-term sympathy and pity, the final result must be the contempt and boredom of others, while the optimistic and motivated people, after long-term patience and struggle, will eventually win more than just flowers. With applause and respectful eyes.

Born in the world, everyone will inevitably experience hardships and hardships. In the face of hardships and hardships, what kind of mentality you maintain will directly determine the trajectory of your life.If one of our hearts is always covered by gray dust, if our heart springs are dried up, our eyes are dimmed, our vitality is lost, and our fighting spirit is lost, our life trajectory will always be blocked by a wall of negative emotions.And if we can maintain a healthy and upward attitude, even if we are in adversity and besieged on all sides, we will definitely wait until the day when "the mountains and rivers are full of doubts and there is no way out, and there will be another village with dark willows and flowers".

Whether we want to see or not depends on our hearts, what we can only see when we turn our backs to the sun is your shadow.

Happiness comes from how you view your choices
A, B, C, and D are the four luckiest young people. They are favored by God, and they can board the "wish train" to choose their own future. The "Wish Train" has four stops, which are Money Station, Family Station, Power Station, and Health Station.A, B, C, and D can choose to get off at any station.Which stop they choose, after hard work, will develop particularly smoothly and successfully in this area, while other areas will fail accordingly.

Thus, the four made their own choices with their own pursuits.A got off at the "Money Station", B got off at the "Family Station", C got off at the "Power Station", and D got off at the "Health Station".

Thirty years have passed, A, B, C, and D all came to God to talk to God.

A said: "Thank God, I am very rich now, as rich as a country. But when I was young, I overdrawn my youth in order to earn money, and now my body always has this and that kind of problem; And then, I also neglected the discipline of my son. My son was too lazy to work, and became an unbearable idiot. I feel very unfortunate, can I use my money to buy back these happiness?"

B said: "I am very happy. My parents live a long life, my wife is virtuous, my children are filial, and I have a harmonious and happy family. But I also have a lot of troubles. My parents have never traveled abroad, and my wife has never enjoyed the happiness of wearing a diamond ring. The children’s unit is not very good, and they owe a lot of money when they get married and buy a house. Can I exchange family affection for some money and power? Make the family happier.”

C said: "I have a lot of power. What people say in front of me is praise and flattery, but behind my back they are swearing. Seeing that my olive belly is full of problems, if others invite you to dinner, you can't go, because they say that if you have some power, you will not go." Put on the show. Adhere to the principle of doing things, relatives say you don't recognize your relatives, friends say you don't show loyalty; favoritism and cheating, you don't have peace of mind, and you will end up in jail. I want to have health and family affection!"

Ding said: "I am in good health. I have never been to a hospital. Others are very envious. But my wife said that I am not motivated, I don't know how to work hard, I have no courage, I live like a pig, and I will never be able to open a private house." The car, the days of living in a villa. For this, I often worry. Can I exchange my health for some money and power?"

God looked at the four, pointed to the birds flying freely in the sky, and pointed to the birds jumping happily in the cage, and said, "Man is actually like a bird. The happiness of a bird in the sky lies in its choice of freedom. It chooses to fight against the difficulties in life because of its own unique taste for hardship. The happiness of a bird in a cage lies in its abundant food and clothing. It lives comfortably and comfortably in a cage because it has its own kind of freedom. Comprehension. Happiness comes from choices, and happiness comes from how you look at your choices. Regret is useless, regret is accompanied by choices.”

A, B, C, and D all chose what they wanted, but they kept regretting their choices.But the reality is that life cannot be perfect. If you choose some, you have to let go of some.The so-called "how can things in the world be as one wishes" is the truth.

British writer Thackeray has a passage in his novel "Vanity Fair": "I think if a person is disliked by everyone, it is mostly because of his own badness. The world is a mirror, and everyone can see their own shadow in it." You frown at it, and it gives you a sour face; you smile at it, and enjoy it with it, it is a happy and kind companion, so young people must choose among these two paths.” Forget troubles , Choose happiness, choose happiness, choose happiness, and only then can you be happy forever.If you blindly look at what you don't have, and look at your life in the sunshine of others, it is impossible to get happiness.

Choosing happiness, choosing happiness, is a good cycle of happiness.

(End of this chapter)