Life management lessons of choice and abandonment

Chapter 3 Happiness is not where you stand, but the direction you choose (2)
Forbearance for a moment, avoid a hundred days of worry

A man who cannot be angry is a fool, and a man who is not angry is a wise man.This is the creed that former New York Governor William Gaynor insisted on.He was shot and almost killed by a lunatic after he was beaten to pieces by a tabloid.When he was lying in the hospital, he said: "Every night I forgive everything and everyone." As the German philosopher Schopenhauer believed, life is a worthless and painful adventure. If possible, you should not hold grudges against anyone.” When dealing with criticism from others, suppressing the anger that arises in time is a very cultivated performance, and it can also win the help of others.When interacting with others, a person who can not only not be annoyed by being misunderstood by others, but also pay attention not to hurt the other party's face, has a noble moral character.

There is a man named Aidiba, every time he gets angry or argues with others, he runs home at a fast speed, runs around his house and land three times, and then sits on the edge of the field to catch his breath.Aidiba works very hard. His house is getting bigger and bigger, and the land is getting wider and wider. But no matter how big the house is, whenever he gets angry with someone, he will still run around the house and the land three times.

Why does Aidiba do this every time she gets angry?All the people who knew him were puzzled, but no matter how they asked him, Aidiba refused to explain.Until one day, Aidiba was very old, and his house and land were already very large, so he walked around the land and house with difficulty on crutches.After he managed to complete three laps, the sun was already setting.Aidiba sat on the edge of the field panting, and his grandson begged him: "Grandpa, you are getting old, and there is no one around here who owns bigger land than you. You can't be like before, just go around when you get angry." Land run! Can you tell me why you run around the land three times when you get angry?"

Aidiba couldn't stand his grandson's pleading, and finally revealed the secret that had been hidden in his heart for many years. He said: "When I was young, whenever I quarreled, argued, or got angry with others, I would run around the house three times, thinking while running, my The house is so small, the land is so small, how can I have the time and qualifications to be angry with others, when I think of this, the anger disappears, so I spend all my time working hard."

The grandson asked, "Grandpa, you are old and the richest man, why are you running around the premises?"

Aidiba smiled and said: "I still get angry now. When I am angry, I walk around the property three times, thinking while walking, my house is so big and the land is so much, why should I care about others? When I think of this, I feel angry. It's gone."

When you encounter angry things, you might as well learn to love Diba, and use your own methods to release angry emotions, such as calligraphy, painting, stamp collection, gardening, playing chess, listening to music, dancing, Tai Chi, etc., to cultivate morality and sentiment .In fact, when you are angry with others, you are still angry with yourself in the end.It's not worth getting mad at yourself.So, forget about being angry, choose a happy mood, and start your day anew.

Psychological research shows that if a person is in a good mood, happy spirit, and the central nervous system is in the best functional state, then his internal organs and endocrine activities are in a balanced state under the regulation of the central nervous system, so that the whole body is coordinated, full of vitality, and the body is naturally healthy. Also healthy.Just as the Buddhist song "Don't Get Angry" sang: "If you lose your temper for trivial things, why not think about it. I will not be angry when others are angry, and there will be no one to replace them when I get sick. Besides, it is painful and laborious." Don't care too much about personal gains and losses, Don't often get angry because of some trivial things, and restrain your anger.If you don't get angry, you can maintain a harmonious family life and friendly interpersonal and neighborhood relationships, so that you can get support from all aspects when you encounter problems.Calm down, think about how many things need to be improved around us, how many things still need to be struggled, how can we have time to stay on these small things, get annoyed and angry about these small things, you know, every time you get angry, happiness will leave you. We go further.However, it is impossible not to be angry, the key is how to deal with it when you are angry.Check out the suggestions below:
1. Learn to laugh at yourself with humor
"Humorous self-deprecating" does not cover up or avoid one's own ugliness and shame, but instead magnifies, exaggerates, and dissects it, and then subtly extends it, justifies it, and wins a smile.Appropriate self-deprecation can not only free yourself from embarrassing predicaments, but also help avoid anger.

2 Extend the space-time distance
Ask yourself is it really that important to be angry?Think about it, after January and half a year, will you still be angry?Extending the distance for a long time is conducive to eliminating the willingness to get angry.

3 Self-communication to relieve anger
When you are angry, communicate with yourself and ask yourself what happened?What do you want?why are you mad?Try to ease your emotions.First count from one to ten, and then slowly increase.When you count to one hundred, you'll know you've learned to control your reactions—you'll be able to control your anger.

4. Let others help

In some special situations, you want to control your emotions, but it is difficult to control yourself.Then, asking others to help can also achieve the goal.For example, a good friend who reminds you in a non-obtrusive way when you are about to get angry can calm you down.

5. Open and honest

Everyone has the same rights and it is important to understand that controlling others will only increase your anger.If someone keeps fighting against you and making you angry, instead of trying to control others, try to talk to him before getting angry, and communicate calmly.This way you can discuss it openly and avoid unnecessary quarrels.

To be angry is to punish yourself for the mistakes of others.

Only free and unrestrained can eliminate the troubles of the world
In a large-scale mechanized chicken farm, nearly a hundred small cages are arranged in each large room, and each cage has two laying hens.

The cage is so small that the hen cannot turn around in it.An automatic conveyor at the front of the coop brings them food, while a conveyor belt at the back takes away their freshly laid eggs.

A visitor found a dozen or so chickens wandering around not far away, and a staff member was throwing rice to feed them.

"Are you trying to lure them back to the coop? Do you want help?" he asked the staff.

"Thanks, I don't want to catch them," the employee said to him. "We intentionally let these chickens move freely. If those guys in the cage don't see a few free chickens, they will die from excessive nervousness." Stop laying eggs. Without these few 'runaway' molecules, other chickens will eventually give up hope or even die."

These chickens make people realize how similar people's lifestyles are to those chickens in these cages.How many people live in a cage all their lives, watching others go on adventures, pursue their dreams, and enjoy a free and unrestrained life with longing eyes.

In life, if you want to be free and unrestrained, you must know how to let go of many unnecessary desires in time.Money, status, fame... Chasing after day after day, owning too much, but also losing freedom and freedom, and feeling exhausted and exhausted.

Happiness can only be achieved by living freely and unrestrainedly. Free and unrestrained is a kind of detached and open-minded spiritual state that does not indulge in prosperity and does not sink in adversity.Among the ancient and modern celebrities, there are many people who can be really free and easy.Ji Kang's poems and wines are romantic, and he often entertains himself with the qin. He "watches the return, waving the five strings; pitching and complacent, wandering in the deepest mind"; The rich and powerful made me unhappy"; Liu Yuxi was demoted because of innovation, but he was not hindered by the pressure, and he still fought against his political opponents with a tenacious spirit. ", "Where does the Taoist priest planting peaches go? Liu Lang, who was born in the past, is here again" is an optimistic poem. With a chic attitude, he surpassed "the desolate land of Bashan Shushui", adhered to the personality of "abandoned for 23 years", and finally ushered in an official career. On the new spring.

In the face of complex and changeable life, it is natural to have a free and unrestrained state to tolerate all kinds of troubles in the world, so that happiness can last forever.

Learn to let go, have a free and unrestrained life, is the true happiness.

Your mood determines the scenery in your eyes
Your mood determines the scenery in your eyes, and an optimistic heart can sometimes even save your life.

A writer once wrote about the story of his friend James:
One day James forgot to close the back door of the restaurant. As a result, three armed gangsters broke in and robbed him in the morning. They threatened James to open the safe.Due to excessive nervousness, James got a wrong number, causing the robbers to panic and shoot James.Fortunately, James was quickly discovered by neighbors and rushed to the hospital for emergency treatment. After 18 hours of surgery and long-term care, James was finally discharged from the hospital, but there was still a bullet left on him...

I met James six months after the incident and asked him what had happened to him when the robbers broke in.James replied: "After they hit me, I was lying on the floor, remembering that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Aren't you scared?" I asked him.

James continued: "The paramedics are amazing, they keep telling me I'm fine, don't worry. But on the way they wheeled me into the emergency room, I saw the worried faces of the doctors and nurses, and I was really intimidated. , it was written on their faces that he was dead! I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do then?" I asked.

James said: "There was a nurse asking me a question at a roaring volume, and she asked me if I was allergic to something. "I said: 'Yes. 'At this point, the doctor and the nurse stopped and waited for my answer.I took a deep breath and shouted: 'Bullets! ’ After they finished laughing, I told them: ‘I choose to live now, please treat me as a living person, not a living dead person. '"

James's survival is of course due to the doctor's superb medical skills, but it is also due to his positive and optimistic attitude.Every day we have the choice to enjoy life, or to hate it.You can choose the color of your mood, no one can control or take away the color of your mood.If you can pay attention to your mood at all times and fill it with optimistic colors, everything else in your life will be much easier.When you accept yourself and love yourself, your heart is full of sunshine; when you reject yourself and hate yourself, your heart will be covered with snow and ice.You have to know that a little bit of trouble can also blacken your mood.

The realities of life are inherently the same for each of us.But because of the different colors of the chosen mind, they represent different meanings, thus forming different facts, environments and worlds.What is in the heart is what the world is.With sorrow in his heart, all he saw was darkness.If a person has an optimistic attitude towards life, he will not feel sorry for himself when he is slightly unsatisfactory.There are many strong people in life, even if they suffer misfortune, their spirit will remain unchanged.

If you think the world is gray, maybe it's because your mood is gray.

Only a pure and simple mind can store happy energy
When you look at life and treat life with a new perspective, you will find that the happier things are often the purer things.The purest, the most beautiful, and many beautiful things are those that are the simplest.

A young American couple lives in the bustling downtown of New York.After a long time, I feel that life is like a running machine. Although it is always busy, it is too stereotyped. Even the various leisure and entertainment items are like McDonald's, KFC and other fast food. It can only satisfy the appetite for a while, and there will be little lingering fragrance afterward.So they decided to go to the countryside to relax. They drove south to a quiet hilly area, and saw a wooden house by the hill, and a local resident sat in front of the wooden house.The young husband asked the countryman: "You live in such a sparsely populated place, don't you feel lonely?"

The countryman said: "You say lonely? No! Never alone! When I gaze at the green hills over there, the green hills give me strength. I gaze at the valleys, and every leaf contains the secret of life. I look at the blue God, I saw the clouds transform into eternal castles. I heard the murmur of the brook, as if whispering to my heart. My dog ​​rested his head on my lap, and I saw loyalty and trust in his eyes. Then I saw The children came home, dirty clothes and disheveled hair, but with a smile on their lips, and called me 'Daddy.' I felt two hands on my shoulders, those of my wife, touched by sorrow and In times of difficulty, these two hands always support me. So I know that God is always merciful, you say lonely? No! Never alone!"

Does the joy of the country people move you?The contemporary writer Liu Xinwu once said: "In the colorful modern world, we should remember such an ancient truth: Only by living a simple life can we live a free life." The life of modern people is too complicated. The competition of desire is full of novelty and fashionable things everywhere.Living in a busy modern city, we seldom pay attention to the simple pleasures in life.

But in fact, the purer the heart, the happier you will be. I don’t know if you have found that sometimes small happiness is easier to satisfy you than big happiness, and it is also more durable.This is because little happiness comes from simple things, like the clear sky, like the warm sunshine outside the window, every time you think of it, your smile will definitely come from the bottom of your heart.

The American philosopher Thoreau has a famous saying that is deeply moving: "Simple, yet simple! A life of luxury and comfort actually hinders the progress of mankind." He found that when the needs of his life were simplified to the minimum , life becomes more fulfilling.For he no longer needs to distract his mind to satisfy unnecessary desires.Therefore, simplicity is a kind of beauty, a kind of beauty that is simple and exudes the fragrance of soul.

No matter what your environment is, no matter what your state is, the secret of happiness is to let your soul return to simplicity and purity.Be a simple person, live a simple life, be as calm as water, have no complaints and struggles, and have a simple life, and you will have a very comfortable life.Sensitive dogs and horses often make the mind muddy.Live simply, simply discover the little happiness that exists in every bit.

The more simple, the purer the heart, the happier the life.

(End of this chapter)