Life management lessons of choice and abandonment

Chapter 4 Practicing the Art of Balance in Holding and Putting (1)
Light a wisp of incense, brew a pot of tea, and savor the true meaning of choice in balance.

Steal a floating half-day leisure

Li She, a poet of the Tang Dynasty, said in a poem: "Drunk and dreaming all day long, I suddenly heard the spring and climbed the mountain. Because I met the monks in the bamboo courtyard, I stole half a day's leisure." The general idea is that the poet passed by a bamboo forest. In the monastery, I accidentally chatted with a monk for a long time, and then I realized that I had gained half a day of leisure in the ups and downs of my life.Learning to "steal half a day's leisure in a floating life" is also a manifestation of the wisdom of making choices.

When she was young, Anna was relatively greedy, seeking the best in everything, desperately trying to seize every opportunity.For a while, she had 13 projects in her hands at the same time, and she was so busy every day that she described herself as "tired like a dog"!
Things are two-sided. It is said that if there is an advantage, there must be a disadvantage. The bigger the business, the bigger the pressure.Later, Anna found that having more and bigger was not fun, but a heavy burden.There is always a strong sense of insecurity in her heart.

In 1995, a "disaster" happened. Her sole proprietorship company was viciously charged 5000 million US dollars, and her boyfriend who had been with her for 7 years broke up with her... A series of blows came straight to her. When she was extremely depressed, she He even considered taking his own life.

In the face of collapse, she asked a friend for help: "If I close the company, I don't know what else I can do?" It all started from 'zero'!" This sentence made her suddenly realize, and also gave her courage to regenerate: "Yes! We have nothing in the first place, so what is there to be afraid of?" Just like this thought, Unexpectedly, in just half a month, she received two large deals in a row, and the company that was on the verge of bankruptcy came back to life and started to move again.

After going through these setbacks, Anna realized the "impermanence" side of life. She learned to refuse to socialize, go fishing, climb mountains, and watch the sea, completely forgetting about work.

In the beginning, Anna tried her best to force her. Although she barely got it, she couldn't keep it in the end;

It is a rare pleasure for people who are busy running around all day, floating and sinking in the vast sea of ​​people, to take time to relax occasionally.Sneaking in while looking for a piece of relaxation and happiness in the cracks is a wonderful seasoning of life, allowing you to enjoy life in a moment of refreshment.Carnegie called this free time a "blank page," a blank space in your schedule that's used to elevate your spirit.

He who cannot rest also cannot work.A person who knows how to live should know how to sneak in, so that you can rejuvenate yourself. "Steal half a day of leisure", put down the busy work, you can sleep in, you can walk around and have a good time.To relax yourself is to bring your life back to normal.

"Steal half a day of leisure" can make people get rid of irritability and fatigue in time, and accumulate energy for better work.

"Slow", work-life balance

Life is a long road, no matter how you go, you will reach the same end.Instead of rushing on the road and letting the beautiful scenery fly away, it is better to walk slowly and feel the happiness with your heart.Simple life, you will find more fun.

Before Shakyamuni became a Buddha, he experienced many times of tempering and penance, from which he learned a lot of wisdom and true meaning of life.

One day, Shakyamuni was about to go on a long journey. Because he was eager to reach his destination, he ignored the distance and difficulty of the journey and just hurried on the road.After a long journey, Sakyamuni was exhausted. Finally, seeing that he was about to reach the place he wanted to go, Sakyamuni breathed a sigh of relief.Just as he was feeling relaxed, he felt a small stone under his feet which made his feet uncomfortable.The stone is so small that people don't even realize its existence.

In fact, shortly after Sakyamuni started to drive, he had already clearly felt that the small stone was in the shoe, constantly stinging the soles of his feet, making him feel uncomfortable.

However, Shakyamuni was so busy on the road that he didn't want to waste time taking off his shoes, so he simply regarded the small stone as a kind of practice and ignored it.

Only then did he stop his eager steps, thinking to himself: Since the destination is about to arrive, and there is still some time to spare, he might as well take off his shoes on the mountain road and pour the pebbles out of them. Come out and take it easy on yourself!

Just when Sakyamuni bowed his head and was about to take off his shoes, his eyes unconsciously aimed at the scenery of water and mountains along the road, and he found it so beautiful.At that moment, he realized an important truth: he walked all the way in such a hurry that his mind was only focused on the destination, and he didn't even notice the beauty of the surrounding scenery at all.

Sakyamuni took off his shoes, took the small stone in his hand, and couldn't help but exclaimed, "Little stone! I can't imagine that you have been stinging my soles all the way. Remind me to slow down and pay attention to all the good things in life!"

Walk slowly to enjoy the beautiful scenery on the road.The ancients said: "This life is leisurely and suitable for home, and the business is reciting poems and watching flowers." This kind of taste of the manor owner parasitized on the green willows and red walls is probably hard to enjoy in the fast-paced city. A certain goal is constantly struggling and working hard, but we never enjoy the happiness in the process, because we always think that only with the present suffering can we have future happiness, and we are waiting every moment, waiting The most beautiful moment appeared, but many beautiful moments were missed because of this.

Many times, life is like a drama, which is very funny. We often keep chasing certain things, and we will never tire for this, but we often find in the end that when we are in a hurry to find the scenery, we have lost the most beautiful scenery along the way.As the British essayist Stephenson wrote in the essay "Walking": "We are in such a hurry to do things, write things, earn property, that there is a moment in the smiling silence of eternal time to make our voices It can be heard that we have forgotten a great event, in which these things are only details, and that is life. . . . " Sowing seeds in a hurry will not sow the fruit of happiness.Slow down and enjoy your life and your life to the fullest!When you stop being exhausted, you will discover the undiscovered beauty in life; when you live in a state of endless desire, you will never realize the true meaning of life.The more simple, the more beautiful life will be.

Work is a part of life, and we should not forget to enjoy life because of work.When we feel torn between work and life, it’s hard not to see them as enemies competing for the limited resources of our time.In order to satisfy the requirements of one, we seem to have to sacrifice the other.But in fact, this is a wrong view.

There are also many people in life who give up their personal pursuit of interests in order to get a well-paid job.Work is often overworked and personal space is minimal.Judging from the different needs of society for labor, this choice is understandable.But this is often not the ideal choice in people's minds.Making money is necessary, but people also pursue other things besides work, such as free time, good health, satisfying relationships and happy families, etc.Therefore, a job that is relatively free and can give full play to one's ingenuity will increasingly become people's first choice of career goals.In this way, people may have more flexible time and arrange their lives flexibly.Such a job is a personalized, ideal job.

Only by finding the balance between life and work can we enjoy the beautiful mood given by life.

Psychological Stress Is a Hybrid of a Devil and an Angel
What exactly is stress?Mr. Zeng Qifeng, a well-known psychological counseling expert in my country, said: Psychological stress is a mixture of devils and angels.It is like a devil that can bring double harm to people's mind and body.On the other hand, stress can keep us in a better state of wakefulness, and our intellectual activities are at a higher level, so we can better deal with various events in life.

When you are alive, you must face all kinds of pressure. When you learn to adjust your pace and let the pressure be resolved bit by bit, it will continue to push you to move forward.That is to say, since you can't reduce all the stress, but you can put the stress in the hourglass, let it accumulate bit by bit, and let it leak bit by bit, so that your life can find balance , the mood can also be attributed to peace.In life, especially in the workplace, how to resolve stress?Here's how you can learn from:

Take stock of the problems and pressures you are currently facing

When you are under pressure, the more you force yourself to work hard, the less successful you will be, because working hard will only increase stress and reduce efficiency.Trying to find a way without trying can also be counterproductive, increasing stress.

So the first and most difficult step is to put down the work and think about the problem.When the stress is high, you need to take a breather.No matter how stressed you are, it is important to take a moment to take stock of the situation.It is worth taking the time, because it will help you see the situation correctly and plan for the next step.If possible, take a short break and assess your stress as described above.

Consider four areas of your life: work, play, health, and relationships (including family and friends).Are all four aspects equally important to you?Is there any aspect that is more important than others?
1. Have a goal in mind and organize your schedule.

Do things with purpose and focus on the most important and prioritized things.Don't let trivia trip you up, no matter how good they look, just ignore it.And don't waste your prime time reading the paper, answering letters, and making your bed.Instead, save your daily routine for non-prime hours, when your energy levels are lower.

2. Set aside at least one hour of flexible time every day to deal with emergencies or emergencies, and plan a period of leisure time that allows you to relax without having to deal with anything.

While waiting for the bus, waiting for the doctor, taking music lessons with the children, or even driving at long speeds and hitchhiking, you can also use this time to do things that have been put off because you don’t have time to do them.For example, learn a language by listening to tapes; read a novel; write a letter to an old friend or daydream.

3 Change bad life attitude
The pressure comes from both the outside and the inside.Personally, stress depends in part on the way we view the world, that is, our attitude towards life.Attitudes are neither right nor wrong in themselves, but they can be more or less harmful.A bad attitude of any kind can make things difficult for you and add to your mental burden, whereas a good attitude can reduce your stress.Therefore, you can test your attitude towards life and change your bad attitude towards life to one that can reduce stress.

Some Bad Attitudes to Life - Some Better Attitudes to Life
I have to get this done today - as much as possible in the time allowed.

I shouldn't ask for help - I need help from others, and I enjoy helping others.

This matter is very important - this matter will not matter in a few years.

I have to do it well -- I can only do my best.

Other people are relaxed, but I am stressed - everyone has stress, not just me
I'm at my wit's end - try it out, start with the smaller problems first.

I'm about to burn out - I need a break, so take a break
I can't let other people see how I feel - I have nothing to lose by having someone to talk to.

Only by facing the pressure squarely can the pressure be resolved invisible.

Don't look at things that are vague in the distance, but do things that are clear at hand

The ancient Greek poet Homer once said: "The past has passed, and the past cannot be undone." Indeed, no matter how beautiful the sunshine yesterday, it cannot be moved to today's picture album.All we can do is take advantage of the present.

In the spring of 1871, a young man picked up a book and saw a sentence that had a great impact on his future.He is a student of general medicine in Monterey. He is full of worries about life on weekdays, worrying about failing the final exam, worrying about what to do, how to open a business, and how to live.

The words seen by this young medical student later helped him become the most famous medical scientist of his generation, created the world-renowned Johns Hopkins College, and he became a professor at the Oxford University School of Medicine—— This is the highest honor a student of medicine can receive.He was also knighted by the Emperor of England, and his name was Sir William Osler.

Here's what he saw—a quote written by Thomas Calleri that helped him live a life of carelessness: "The most important thing is not to see things that are blurred at a distance, but to see things that are clear at hand. thing."

Indeed, if you always think about the distance, there will never be any results today.Only by what is clear on the left hand can we grasp the present moment.To do the things that are clear at hand, we must start from the present moment and cherish every day.Pinning your efforts on tomorrow is a sign of cowardice and a typical manifestation of negative thinking.If you want to live an active life, you should grasp the present, grasp today, and develop the habit of racing against time, so that you will not be abandoned by time.

Only by cherishing today can you have a bright future!
Let go of your emotions, don't wallow in negativity for too long

Emotion refers to a state of physical and mental excitement produced by an individual after receiving a certain stimulus. It is a kind of thought and emotion deep in the heart. It is often controlled by external things and fluctuates accordingly.

One day Secretary of War Stanton came to Lincoln and angrily told him that a major general had used insulting words to accuse him of partiality.Lincoln suggested that Stanton write a scathing letter back to the guy.

"You can give him a good beating," Lincoln said.

Stanton immediately wrote a strongly worded letter and showed it to the president.

"That's right, that's right." Lincoln exclaimed loudly, "That's what I want! Give him a good lesson, it's really good, Stanton." But when Stanton folded the letter and put it in an envelope, Lincoln He stopped him and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Send it." Stanton was a little confused.

"Don't be fooling around." Lincoln said loudly. "This letter cannot be sent. Throw it in the stove. I handle all letters written when you are angry. This letter is well written. You write it. I’m relieved, and I feel better now, so please burn it and write a second letter."

(End of this chapter)