Life management lessons of choice and abandonment

Chapter 5 Practicing the Art of Balance in Holding and Putting (2)
Lincoln gave Stanton an outlet to vent his anger, but duly checked Stanton's anger before it turned into trouble.This is where he is wise.Impulse is the devil. Most of what people do when they are in a rage cannot withstand rational scrutiny, and most of the time they deviate from their original intentions.Because when you are caught in the vortex of an emotion, it is difficult for reason to get involved.If emotions control the owner and judge people and things in the outside world based on likes and dislikes or feelings, it is easy to fall into the emotional world, and nothing awaits them.

"Life is unsatisfactory, nine times out of ten", so if you want to live a relaxed and happy life, you must find a way to relieve stress that suits you, and vent your bad emotions in time.For example, usually take part in more outdoor cultural and sports activities, watch more relaxed and warm movies and TV dramas, and read more fashionable and relaxed books and magazines.Learn to vent your emotions, don't let yourself indulge in negative emotions for too long, take action immediately, and you will find that you can completely overcome your emotions, control them, and become the master of your emotions.

Be the master of your emotions, not be driven by them.

To close the door of the past is to let go of the burden on the body and mind
Lloyd George, who was the prime minister of the United Kingdom, had a habit of closing the door behind him casually.

One day, a friend came to visit him. The two of them were walking in the yard and talking at the same time. Every time they passed a door, George would close the door.

The friend was puzzled and asked George in puzzlement, "Is it necessary to close all these doors?"

George smiled and replied: "Oh, of course it is necessary. I have been closing the door behind me all my life, and it has to be done. When you close the door, you also leave behind everything in the past, whether it is good or not. A great achievement, or a frustrating mistake, and then you can start over."

Keep everything in the past behind you, that is, let go of your physical and mental burdens.Only by cherishing the present can we start a new life better. However, in real life, most people are always accustomed to being tied down by the past. No matter success or joy, no matter failure or trouble, they are crowded in their minds and cannot bear to be discarded. The load is too heavy, energy is wasted, and career development is affected.Therefore, try to learn to close the door behind you. Only by leaving everything behind you can you discover the beautiful sunshine of today.

In the long journey of life, we are like innocent children, always looking forward to the appearance of treasures, and happily picking up those treasures that appear one by one while walking.But then, the bag of life experiences gets heavier and heavier until you're struggling.Only then did I realize that only by letting go of the past can I reap new life.

The Russian writer Herzen believes that there is no "past" and "future" in time, only "now" is the real time, the real time, the most valuable and the most needed for people to use.

Eskimos living in the cold polar region regard every day as the beginning of a new life.Sleep deeply at night, and then welcome the beginning of the next life.Perhaps it is the harsh climate of the polar regions that prevents them from having too much extravagant imagination, and they have no time to reminisce about the past, but they make good use of every inch of their lives because of this.

Walking on the journey of life, we must understand that the treasures we once put in our bags are worth cherishing for us, and they bring us joy.But as the years go by and the time flies, their existence will only touch the old scars; abandoning them can open a new page!
Closing the door of the past is to better welcome today.

Find a psychological balance between rationality and sensibility
Life will always encounter all kinds of disturbances and contradictions, and people are often at a loss.And this process of being at a loss is the struggle between rationality and sensibility.Everyone has reason and is very clear-headed. There are some things that they don't want to do, but they can't suppress their desires together. Reason can never overcome sensibility.King Zhuang of Chu, one of the Five Overlords in the Spring and Autumn Period, once defeated his desire in the trial of reason and human desire.

Once, Ling Yin Zipei invited King Zhuang of Chu to a banquet, and he readily agreed.

Zipei got ready for the banquet in Beijing, but King Zhuang of Chu was not there.The next day, Zipei visited King Zhuang of Chu and asked why he did not come to the banquet.King Zhuang of Chu said to him: "I heard that you held a feast at Jingtai. From Jingtai, you can see Mount Liao to the south, facing the water of Fanghuang at your feet, the Yangtze River on the left, and the Huaihe River on the right. People will be so happy that they forget the pain of death. A person with low moral character like me cannot bear such happiness. I am afraid that I will be addicted to it, lingering and delaying the important affairs of governing the country, so I changed my original intention and decided not to come to the banquet gone."

From this we can see why King Zhuang of Chu was able to "become a blockbuster without singing for three years; without flying for three years, soaring into the sky once", and became a wise king who governed the country well.

A person who cannot control his desires rationally will find it difficult to succeed in his career due to lack of self-control.In fact, people who are too rational and too emotional will lose a lot of things. How to find a balance between rationality and sensibility?The key is to behave emotionally and act rationally.

The balance between reason and emotion is very rare, and it takes a long life process to settle one's complicated emotions and truly recognize oneself.Therefore, the key to being a human being is introspection.Introspection is an important method of moral perfection, a good medicine to cure mistakes, and it can bring a ray of light to our chaotic mind.When we are at a loss in the maze of life, when we fall into the abyss of sin, when our soul is distorted, when we are self-righteous and complacent, self-examination is like a clear spring, dispelling the superficial, Impetuous, depressed, insidious, complacent, arrogance and other dirt are washed away, and the fresh, high-spirited, vigorous and elegant melody is reproduced, making life reappear with splendor and vitality.

When rationality and sensibility compete, sober reason overcomes surging emotion, and you will find inner peace.

When loneliness and carnival balance, we can achieve harmony
Ah Sang sang with her unique vicissitudes of voice: "Lonely is a carnival of one person; carnival is the loneliness of a group of people".Indeed, in this era of reinforced forests, loneliness and carnival are both intoxicating, but a balance must be followed between them, which is the key to not letting yourself get lost.

When autumn comes, when the wild geese fly south, the neat flock of geese line up into the character "person" for a while, and the word "one" for a while. The reason why they constantly change formation in the air is inherently related to their battery life.This is the least labor-intensive way of flying as a team formed during their long-term adaptation.

When geese fly in a line or herringbone formation, the wing of the latter geese can use the aerodynamic force generated by the flapping of the wings of the previous geese to save effort in flight.After flying for a certain distance, the left and right exchange positions so that the wings on the other side can also use aerodynamic force to relieve fatigue.

No bird can fly long if it flies only with its own wings.Flocks of geese that share a common goal and a sense of community can get where they want to go more quickly and easily, relying on each other's momentum and assistance to fly forward, while continuing to "encourage" their trailing companions.In this way, the flight distance of geese flying alone has increased by 70% compared with that of lone geese flying alone.And when a lone goose is about to leave the group, it will immediately feel an impetus to prevent it from leaving. With the "support" of the previous partner, it will soon be able to return to the group.It is precisely because of the mutual cooperation for the common goal that the geese can cross thousands of rivers and mountains and finally return to their habitat.

Humans are like wild geese, they are also group animals, if they leave the group, they cannot grow up healthily, and it is difficult for them to survive.Modern people are also inseparable from groups, and the organizational forms of groups are becoming more and more developed. In addition to families and communities, there are also well-organized social groups such as schools, factories, companies, military forces, and government departments. People cannot live without groups. .However, the hustle and bustle is always exhausting. Sometimes, the more you are in the carnival of friends, the more desolate your heart is.As Shakespeare said: "It's full of voices and fanaticism, but it's actually empty." So we will also start to get tired of socializing, and especially feel that it is a good time to spend a lot of time on carnival after busy work. The great profligacy, the great waste of life.Therefore, find a balance between loneliness and carnival, so that you will not fall behind or lose yourself.

The carnival of the group is as important as the loneliness of a person. What we need to do is to strike a balance between the two.

There is tension and relaxation, enjoy life between breaths

A little rabbit was running desperately on the road, and the frog asked it: "Little rabbit, why are you running so fast? Take a rest."

"I can't stop, I want to see what the end of this road looks like." The little rabbit replied while running.

The little rabbit never stopped and wanted to run to the finish line.Until one day, it slammed into a big tree stump at the end of the road. "It turns out that the end of the road is this tree stump!" the little rabbit sighed.What makes it even more frustrating is that it finds that it is already old at this time: "If I had known this, I would have enjoyed the scenery along the way, how beautiful it would be..."

This little rabbit is so silly and cute. It ran so hard that it crashed into a big tree stump.In fact, are we also running like bunnies?Immersed in the fast-paced life of the city, under the slogan "time is money", we have already lost our way back... We are racing against time, but we have forgotten to appreciate the beauty of life.

"When we are running for life, life has left us." British singer John Lennon said.Indeed, in the fast-paced life, we lose the slow pace, and troubles, anxiety, and pain follow the fast pace, and become psychological diseases. Therefore, our body and soul are in a sub-healthy state. At this time, we Only then did he realize that he had become the silly boy in the fairy tale who exchanged his soul for gold coins from the devil.Many people also realize that they really need to slow down and relax physically and mentally after the alarm from their physical health.

You may ask, where is the capital slowing down in such an era of fierce competition?In fact, it’s not the case. You can only gain if you give up. Letting go of the fast pace does not make you idle. attitude towards life.For us ordinary people, letting go of the fast pace and being a "slow person" with taste and capital is by no means difficult, nor is it a bad thing.

Life is like a lamp, the rhythm is balanced, the lamp can be lit, and the lit lamp will illuminate the ordinary moments in life.And those who are too practical will always be tired of life, but they can't see the most exciting and moving details in life.Relax in the fast-paced life of modern society, and face all kinds of pressure and temptation in life with a peaceful mind. Maybe you will lose money, but enrich your life.

Life needs a beautiful balance point, and life needs an orderly, relaxed rhythm.

Life is like standing on a balance, when the balance is less, the balance is more
Wang Wei is a young teacher. He used to strive for excellence in teaching, work hard, and selflessly dedicate to students, which won unanimous praise from students and parents.But at a dinner party with friends, I felt uncomfortable when I saw some people were very rich.

Since then, he always thought, how can I be rich?As a result, he often dreamed of getting rich when he was working, and began to be irresponsible for teaching.The students and parents had great opinions. He got a yellow card warning from the school, but he did not repent and still wanted to get rich every day.

Later, Wang Wei started a smuggling business at the instigation of a friend, but he was caught, his fortune was not made, and he became a prisoner.

The imbalance makes some people full of complaints and do not want to make progress. What's more, like Wang Wei in the story, they will take risks, play with fire, and walk on the dangerous wire rope.

The writer George Bernard Shaw once said: "If we feel pitiful, we are likely to feel pitiful all the time." In real life, everyone's inner world is more or less unbalanced.Contrast produces psychological imbalance, and this psychological imbalance drives people to pursue a new balance.If in the pursuit of a new balance, you can not be ignorant of your conscience, do not harm others, consciously accept the constraints and limitations of morality, realize your self-worth in life through legitimate efforts and struggles, and achieve a new balance, it is commendable On the contrary, if you use unscrupulous means, have no shame, lose morality, expand your selfish and greedy heart, and let your body and mind be in a state of being out of control, then some unexpected and terrible consequences will inevitably occur.As a result, your career and even your life will inevitably fall into a cycle of defeat.

To solve the problem of unbalanced mentality, for most people, we must first ask ourselves what do we want to do?Once you have seen your heart clearly and understood the happiness you want, then, analyze the realistic possibility of the happiness you want!It's not that you can do what you want to do.Maybe you just envy the glamorous side of that thing, for example, movie stars, dancers, etc., what you see is their beautiful side, you think you really want to do such a thing, how can you understand the reason behind these things? story.Think right when it matches, and only with a good attitude can you feel satisfied and happy.If you want to keep a good attitude, you can try the following methods:

1. Talk
Talking can achieve a balance between inner feelings and external stimuli.When you encounter misfortune, troubles and things that don't go your way, don't be depressed. Instead, you should confide these troubles to someone you trust, who is calm and understanding, venting your inner imbalance and helping to resolve negative emotions. mood.

2. Get close to nature
When a person is psychologically unbalanced or distressed, nature will go to it, which will help restore a good mood.The air around mountains or seashores contains more anions, and the more anions in the air, the fresher the air, the stronger the regulation function of the human body's nervous and humoral fluids, and the easier it is to calm the mind.

3. Listen to music

Music is the beautiful language of human beings.Listening to a relaxed and pleasant music will make you feel refreshed, immersed in happiness and happiness and forget your troubles.

4. Seek elegance

Elegant interests include playing chess, playing cards, painting, fishing and so on.When you engage in activities you enjoy, the unbalanced mind will naturally gradually be balanced.

5. Do good deeds

Doing good deeds can also bring happiness and balance the mind.I helped others, others responded, I was encouraged, and I was in a good mood.

6. Learn to forget
Forgetting is also a good way to maintain psychological balance.Forget troubles, sorrows, bitterness, disappointment, yesterday, yourself, and the harm others have done to you... In this way, you can be optimistic and open-minded.

Get out of the misunderstanding of psychological imbalance, love your life, and it will shine brighter.

(End of this chapter)