Chance encounter

Chapter 30 Topics (6)
After we met, we chatted on WeChat every day, and we often made appointments to hang out together.We chatted so well that it was almost too late to see each other.Before, I always thought that I just regarded her as a good friend, but recently, I have more and more found that my feelings for her have gone far beyond the scope of friendship: I can’t help but watch her speak, sometimes when she suddenly leans her head against her There will be a throbbing feeling in my heart on my shoulder, and I will always think of her unconsciously after we are separated... It makes me doubt life a little bit, am I bisexual?

Sister Luyu, I am really distressed right now.On the one hand, I don’t dare to face my boyfriend. I always feel a little sorry for him. I want to confess to him but I’m afraid he won’t be able to accept it. On the other hand, I don’t dare to face that girl. They all refused, and really couldn't look directly at her.Sister Lu Yu, why did this happen to me? I am over 20. Can sexual orientation be acquired?What should I do next?

Lu Xiaopang's reply
My girlfriend C has a boyfriend who is stable and considerate to her.But she said that recently a cool-looking girl chased her madly, and she couldn't bear it anymore. C is not twisted, everything goes with the flow, she never competes with her inner desires curiously, straight or curved, she is not entangled at all.

She told me it was just because she wanted someone to talk to, because we all need someone to listen to before the little madness, no judge.As for me, I have a strict mouth, don't make a fuss, and my three views are basically the same as hers, so she told me.

Later, C was with that girl, and she was very happy because she felt deeply loved; she was also very clear-headed, knowing that this was only for a moment, not for a lifetime.But what kind of love is sure to last forever?
As for me, I think I'm a straight girl who might be attracted to a masculine woman who chases me hard.These words are very convoluted, and there are many attributives, all of which are indispensable.Pay attention to these key words: chase me, masculine, attracted.You can't do it without chasing it, you can't do it without being masculine, and I'm just attracted to it because at the end of the day, I'm straight and I'm afraid of messy.

My endurance is high, but my tolerance is low, such as gossip, I can bear it, I don’t care, but I will mind, so the messy life is not suitable for me, no matter how interesting it is.

The same goes for love, I want enough love, deep love, but no drama.I love you, and you happen to love me, so let's love.I love you, if you don't love me, then... forget it.I don't beg, chase, cry, or make trouble, not only because I'm a little proud, but also because I'm afraid of messy.

Zixin’s situation is similar to that of C, and I specifically asked C: “Is this the letter you wrote?” Zixin, in fact, it doesn’t matter if you are straight or bisexual, it’s just that straight life is easier, while bisexual or gay are relatively different. difficult.

For example, in public places, you and your same-sex lovers are not allowed to PDA at random: public display of affection (intimate in public places), unless you can bear indifference, curiosity, incomprehension, hostility, or even danger; for example, your love will I can’t get the understanding and support of my family; for another example, after falling in love, renting a house, buying a house, getting a loan, having children, going to school for my children, medical insurance, all the details of life that I can think of that have nothing to do with love but have to do with the actual law. It will be hard for you.

In today's living environment, I can't see the possibility of you realizing or solving it, so whether you are just curious and want to try it, or if you fall in love and then seriously switch camps, you should think about the worst consequences, no Don't start rashly if you can afford it.

Of course I know this is basically nonsense, because when you move your mind, it will happen sooner or later.Ultimately, though, I believe that love and attraction are just a matter between one person and another, and neither needs an attributive.

I am very envious of C, she is self-willed, self-willed and brave.Of course, there must be times when she cries, but being in love is an accident, why don't you live?This is the original words of C.

Two days ago, our WeChat official account tweeted an article called "Eat until the restaurant closes down, love so much that I can't do anything".When I saw this title, I was sitting in "Beijing 1949", a Japanese restaurant I often go to.Because of its delicious food, it was almost turned into a cafeteria by me, but it closed on June 6.

I was so in love that I couldn't do anything, and I ate the restaurant until it closed down.Leaving the field early is a particularly difficult state to handle, and I can't always do it.

You say we meet too late, I say we meet too early
The so-called emotional problem experts in this world are actually listeners and comforters of emotional problems at most, because our emotional problems cannot be solved by others, so we can only listen to others, but in the end we still have to go our own way.

letter from a savage
Hey, Fatty, I have some emotional problems recently, and it is very painful. I hope you can help me clean it up.

Some time ago, I met a girl when I was traveling in Thailand, and I met in a youth hostel.I fell in love with her at first sight and thought she was the girl I had been looking for.We chatted together, went to Chiang Mai to ride motorcycles together, shared fun stories with each other, got along very happily, and felt like seeing each other late.But later she told me that she has a boyfriend and they have been together for 11 years, and she is going to get married when she goes back.She said that she and that person have known each other since they were very young, and the relationship between the two families is also very good. Although they have nothing in common, they have been together for so long after all, and she can't do anything wrong to him.She also said that she liked me very much, and if she hadn't wanted to get married, she would definitely be with me without hesitation.I want to explain here that during the days I was with her, apart from holding hands and kissing once, there was no further relationship.

I said I would give her time and was willing to wait for her to deal with her feelings, but she told me not to wait, saying that she would not hurt her boyfriend, they were getting married soon, and she couldn't be so irresponsible.She also said that she didn't want to hurt me either, saying that it would only be unfair to me if I waited.And if the two of us are together, social morality does not allow it.Today, she went back to her country and was going back to her city to marry her boyfriend, and I sent her to the airport.Before leaving, she hugged me and cried for a long time, then left without saying anything.

I've been particularly devastated these days.I imagined a lot of scenes, such as flying to her city immediately to find her, or her boyfriend actually fell in love with someone else and broke up with her, etc... I also thought of "Bridges of Madison County", and felt that my current The situation is very similar to the story in it, and I also want to be like the hero, always silently accompanying her.

I'm sorry, actually I don't know what I'm talking about, it's just that my heart is in pain now, and I hope I can find someone to talk to.

Lu Xiaopang's reply
First off topic.A child said to me that day, when you answer emotional questions, you always persuade everyone to share more.At that time, I was very happy. I gave you the vaccinations early in the morning. I don’t give up on relationship and marriage issues, and I don’t see others giving up.The problem is, I pay for my life choices, but you have to think clearly about whether you have the ability and courage to pay for your choices.The so-called emotional problem experts in this world are actually listeners and comforters of emotional problems at most, because our emotional problems cannot be solved by others, so we can only listen to others, but in the end we still have to go our own way.

OK, back to the topic.A letter from a wild man, I read the full text before I came to the conclusion that you are a girl and a lesbian.Well, this important detail that you intentionally or unintentionally ignore reflects that even you are not ready to face the world at any time, so how can you ask a straight girl to give up her world for you?I know more than one straight girl who fell in love with a gay girl when she was emotionally hurt, lonely, and vulnerable, but the relationship wasn't meant to last.I asked these heterosexual girls what attracted her to fall in love with a same-sex partner. They said it was companionship, the tacit understanding, consideration, and warmth that can only be found between the same sex, but these are not enough to overcome secular prejudices, or even everyone. own prejudices.

Usually heterosexual girls love their same-sex partners with the mentality of loving boys, so when the other party occasionally reveals femininity, heterosexual girls are resistant in their hearts.Coupled with countless practical problems, such as marriage, family, and children, unless you have sufficient material conditions to ensure that you live an alternative life without being disturbed, you will be defeated in minutes.

You two should be fairly young.For young singles, I certainly encourage you to risk your life for love at least once in your life.But desperately need two people together.She has been in love for 11 years and hasn't gotten married yet. I don't know how much love is left, but it's not optimistic anyway.But 11 years is enough for two people, two families, and even two families to grow together in various social relationships. She and you have no ability to resist all of this.The most important thing is that she likes you, but she definitely doesn't love you enough to give up and fight against the world for you.She is heterosexual, and she has loved you to the greatest extent within her physical and psychological capabilities, but this love is still not enough for you.

I encourage doing your best for love, but not going crazy for love.In life, love is not everything, and I am slowly accepting and learning this, so don't give up life for love.You didn't meet late, you met too early.Or, this instant rendezvous is already your fate.I don't know what the future will be like; but now, you have to let go.

You see, I advise you to divide again.

(End of this chapter)