The Sorrows of Young Werther

Chapter 17 Alpin (2)
This will be the last time I see this world.Since then, my eyes can only see darkness, endless darkness.God, please pray for me, your child has finished his life, he is coming to you.Dear Lotte, the phrase "the last time" will always give people infinite illusions, as if they can grasp something, but they are too foggy to see clearly.Lotte, can you understand this feeling?How wonderful that now I am full of energy and vitality, but tomorrow I will be sobbing and dying.I can't wait to taste what it's like to die, a topic we've been talking about before to no avail.I've seen so many deaths that people never know when they're going to die.Maybe we are still alive right now, maybe next second, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we will be separated from each other.Is it temporary, or permanent?unknown.Dear Lotte, you will not leave, and neither will I, we will always be together!My heart is dead, my heart is numb, I don't have any perception, but I know that small space is cold and dark.When I was young, I had a lover, and we were madly in love with each other; but unfortunately she passed away, and I put her in the coffin with my own hands, and then stood aside and watched the workers shovel by shovel to fill the soil downward, the soil There was a dull sound on the coffin; in a series of dull sounds, the grave was completely filled with earth.My legs gave way, and I fell down in front of her grave and wept loudly. I didn't know what happened to me at the time, but I felt as if my heart had been torn apart abruptly. I didn't know what death was when I was young.

I apologize for my reckless behavior last night!I'm so excited, please forget all this!Come to think of it, that was probably the best time of my life before I died.Thank you, beautiful angel, I already know your feelings for me: you love me dearly!Your hot lips burned my body and mind, and I played back the scene in my mind over and over again.God, she loves me, I have no doubt of it.From our first acquaintance, from our handshake and eye contact, I knew your feelings for me, but the appearance of Albert made me feel ashamed. He is so good and will definitely bring you stability and happiness Life.You once gave me a bouquet of flowers, I wonder if you still remember.It was at a banquet, and for some reason we couldn't chat freely, so you comforted my lost mood with a bouquet of flowers.It is this bouquet of flowers that makes me more firm in my love for you. I can see your love for me. Don’t say anything, everything is over, just like a believer who has listened to the sermon, his admiration for God is limited to In church, once out of the church, nothing will remain in his heart.

Things come and go as fast as they come, but everything you made me feel, including the heat on your lips last night, will stay in my memory forever.I hugged her tightly with both hands, and our lips were tightly pressed together. I said countless love words to her. Because of the excitement, she was tense and trembling slightly in my arms.She loves me, Lotte, you love me!
But you have a husband, Albert, and he is your husband, the head of the household.Must we be brutally separated because of his presence?No!I want to take you back!I admit that I was a little extreme and reckless, so I paid a heavy price for my behavior; for a moment of pleasure, I almost exhausted all my energy, and I greedily enjoyed every minute and every second with you, you have always Live in my heart, Lotte!Forgive me for taking the first step to heaven, to find our common Creator.I will quietly wait for your arrival, don't be afraid, everyone is mortal.Then we can live together forever and never be apart.It's strange that my mind is so bright now, maybe death will make people see some things more clearly.We'll see each other again soon!You'll still find your mother, and I'll meet her, and I'll tell her how much I love you!I can't wait to meet her, she must be as beautiful as you!
Around eleven o'clock, Werther guessed that Albert should go home, so he called the servant to ask, and the servant said that he saw Albert riding home not long ago.After listening, Witt wrote a note and ordered the servant to deliver it, which read:

I decided to go out for a few days, hoping to have a pistol for self-defense, would you like to borrow one?thank you very much!

The events of last night made Lotte restless.The thing that had been hesitating and unable to make a decision before suddenly had a result, and she was not allowed to justify or change, so she couldn't help but panic.The originally gentle person is now like ants on a frying pan, running around in a hurry, and she has a premonition in her heart that something bad will happen.Werther's enthusiasm made her love and fear at the same time, thinking about the carefree life in the past, and looking at the fear now, she really didn't know what to do!Should I tell my husband what happened last night?From a rational point of view, the correct thing to do is to explain the whole thing to her husband, but she is afraid that her husband will misunderstand.Recently, the relationship between them has not been harmonious, and the atmosphere when they get along is very cold, should I take the initiative to improve the relationship?The husband has a lot of opinions on Werther, and if he knows that Werther came to visit him while he was not at home, he will definitely be angry!Lotte is at her wit's end, how can Albert resolve her dissatisfaction with herself?She desperately wants to tell her husband everything in her heart, but can he understand?What's more, she has never concealed anything from her husband, and sooner or later this matter will come out of her own mouth. She will not lie.Poor Lotte was haggard, and all kinds of thoughts were denied by herself one by one.In addition to facing the problem of her husband, what happened to Werther also made her very distressed. She knew that she didn't want to lose him, but she had to keep a distance from him.She still has a husband to rely on, but Werther has nothing, and the only woman she loves will leave him.

She hadn't felt the pressure behind the indifferent relationship between the two before, but now that she finally tried it, it seemed like a mountain was pressing on her head.Some unimportant reasons became serious after lack of communication and understanding, making this loving couple increasingly estranged. They both felt that others were wrong and they were right. In this way, conflicts were like snowballs Getting bigger and bigger, the two only focus on holding on to each other's mistakes, forgetting that the most important thing at this time is to find a solution to the problem.They don't know that their attitudes will have a major impact on Werther's life and death. If they actively seek solutions when conflicts arise, and are considerate and caring for each other, then things will not get out of hand, and Werther will not die as a result. Come to finish.

On the other hand, Werther often talked about the idea of ​​suicide to others, and Albert hated this kind of behavior very much. He once said to Werther and Lotte that it is the most stupid behavior to die to get rid of troubles.Whenever the topic of suicide is discussed, he will show a different side of meekness and meekness. He severely condemns suicide. He explained to Lotte what he was thinking in a joking tone.Even though Lotte felt relieved by Albert's joke, she still worried whether her husband would understand her concerns.

When Albert came back from his colleague's house, Lotte hurriedly stepped forward to help him take off his coat. Fortunately, he didn't see the unnatural expression on Lotte's face.The result of this negotiation was terrible, that colleague was simply an old fashioned person, the two of them could not agree with each other, and the journey was bumpy, and it took a lot of twists and turns, and a series of unsatisfactory things made Albert feel angry.As he walked, he asked Lotte if anything happened at home. In a panic, Lotte told him Werther's visit.He was silent about this, and then asked if he had any letters of his own. Lotte said that there were letters and parcels in the study, so Albert went to the study.Lotte stood still. She knew her love for her husband. Her husband's return made her confused heart suddenly clear. His loyalty and kindness made her very happy, so she followed her husband into the study involuntarily, planning to Accompany him while working.Albert opened the letter first and read it. He could see that the contents of the letter made him a little annoyed, and then he opened the package.Lotte asked some random questions, and he answered in a flat tone, and then began to write a reply.

For an hour after this, the two of them didn't speak any more, and Lotte became depressed again. She thought about whether to confess everything to her husband when he was in a good mood, but he might not be able to accept it; The feeling was too painful, Lotte gritted her teeth to hold back the tears that were about to fall, feeling uneasy.

At this moment, Werther's servant came in with a note, and Lotte panicked.Albert took the note from the servant, glanced at it, and said to Lotte calmly: "Give him my pistol." He turned to the servant and said, "By the way, please take me I hope he has a smooth journey." These words made Lotte tremble and almost fell, she managed to stand still, and walked slowly towards the place where the pistol was placed.Her hands were also shaking badly. She wiped the pistol clean, thinking about Werther's intentions all the time. She didn't want to give him the pistol, but Albert looked at her with puzzled eyes, and she couldn't delay any longer.The pistol was taken away by the servant, and Lotte seemed to know what would happen next. She hesitated to pack her things and returned to the bedroom, fighting fiercely in her heart.She wanted to tell her husband everything that happened last night now. Werther's situation was not optimistic. She hoped that her husband could visit him, but she soon understood that these methods were futile.It happened that a good friend came to ask her something, and she was so upset that she simply invited her friend to have dinner together, hoping to ease the dead atmosphere.Lotte forced herself to forget all the unhappiness, and the few of them ate and chatted, and the time passed in a flash.

Werther got the pistol, and the servant told him that the pistol was taken out by Lotte himself, and Werther was very happy when he heard that.He ordered bread and wine to be brought to the servants, and continued writing to Lotte.

After your touch and rubbing, this pistol is a sacred object to me, and I hold it in my hand and kiss it.Thank God, the gun passed from your hand to mine, and I met death with it, Lotte!You are the angel who shows me the way!I accept your guidance!The servant told me that when you took the gun, you looked terrified and trembling all over, and you didn't even say "goodbye!" Oh, what a pity, I really wish you could say "goodbye!" to me. Did my behavior hurt you?No, I don't believe it, you love me!You know I burn all my blood for you, you don't feel hostility towards someone who loves you deeply and for whom you love deeply.

After dinner, Werther instructed the servants to put everything in order. He tore up some letters, and then went outside to pay off the debts he owed, some small debts.Then he went back to the house, and went out again after a short stay. It was raining, and Werther stayed in the count's garden until evening, walking up and down, looking here and there, and then returned to the house. Finish the letter in the room.

Dear William, I have walked a long time in the garden just now, admiring the sky, the earth, the trees and flowers, and this is my last chance.Goodbye, my friend, and my mother, she will be sad, I hope you can take more care of her.I will pray to God, ask him to bless you happy and healthy!Now that everything is in order, I should go, bye!my friend!When we meet again, joy and happiness will always be with us.

Albert, I would like to express my apologies to you. I should not have intervened between you and Lotte, causing your relationship to deteriorate.Now everything will end, my departure is undoubtedly the best way to solve the problem, I hope you live a happy life!There is no other girl in the world who can compare with Lotte, please treat her well, Albert, God will bless you!

In the evening, Werther checked his letters and official documents carefully again, tore up unnecessary ones and threw them into the stove. He sealed some of his articles and unfinished essays and sent them to William, and then wrapped them tightly. On the last layer of the shell, I was fortunate enough to read several of these articles.At ten o'clock, Werther ordered the servant to bring a bottle of wine, and to increase the fire in the stove, and the servant went back to his room after finishing this.Both the servant and the landlord live in the yard far behind. Werther once said that the carriage would pick him up at six o'clock tomorrow morning, so the servant went to bed immediately after returning so that he could get up early tomorrow morning.

(End of this chapter)