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Chapter 72 The Magical Effect of "Praise"
Remember, as long as the Chinese "national quintessence" of "saving face" remains unchanged for 1 years, the Chinese will always eat "boasts" and not "swear".The so-called "a filial son is born under a stick" is often a lie.That being the case, why don't you "follow the good" and "follow what you like" and use the "praise" method more?Chinese people are generally accustomed to scolding (swearing) people, but they are not used to "praising others". At the same time, it is very ironic that Chinese people often especially like "being praised", but extremely hate "being scolded".Who made us Chinese the number one "face-saving" nation in the world!Therefore, "praise" is really a deeply rooted and extremely sensitive rhetoric for Chinese people.

So, what is the word "praise" that so touches the sensitive nerves of Chinese people? "Praise", according to different positions, can be divided into the following two types: superiors to subordinates, peers to peers - praise; subordinates to superiors - flattery.We Chinese tend to think that the former has a commendatory meaning, while the latter is derogatory.This understanding is actually biased.Because there is nothing wrong with flattery, and there is nothing wrong with building a good relationship with superiors, and it is not against the law. This is a human survival instinct.Regrettably, we Chinese tend to go to extremes. We either try our best to flatter our leaders, or we are afraid of avoiding them. We are afraid of being misunderstood by people around us to "please the leaders" and thus end up with a "character problem". Notoriety, being excluded by them.Therefore, in real life, these two ways of praise are very important, just pay attention to a "degree".Because whether it is excessive praise or excessive flattery, it will make people feel "hypocrisy" and "ulterior motives", or even "sarcasm", and make oneself end up with a "thankless" result.

Therefore, "praise" and "flattery" are also technical and elegant, and should not be messed up.In enterprise management, just as "reward" and "punishment" are the two most basic management methods, "praise" and "reprimand" are also communication methods that many managers use every day in their daily management work.Admittedly, as the two basic methods of "expressing one's position" to subordinates' different work performances, "praise" and "reprimand" are both important in actual management work.However, in actual work, due to a kind of not-so-"bright" psychology, our managers often use these two methods in an extremely distorted way-they often "emphasize reprimand and light praise" too much.The most "classic" performance is that many bosses seem to enjoy the pleasure of "rebuking subordinates" - as if this is the best way to reflect their "leadership authority" and "dominance" over subordinates.

However, I can tell you responsibly that a considerable part of your "reprimand" to your subordinates can only have this effect-this method not only really reflects your "superior" and your subordinates' Apart from "Yi Nuo Nuo Nuo Nuo Nuo Nuo Nuo" ("humble position"), it rarely plays any substantive role.What you see will only be an "illusion".Because the "obedience" or "submissiveness" shown by your subordinates is only a "posture" in % of the cases - because your reprimand often brings to your subordinates not what you want him to get" Lesson", all he can get is "pain", so all his "adaptation" to your performance does not necessarily mean that he thinks you are "right", but just to end this "reprimand" as soon as possible , to end this "pain".

There is no way, the Chinese are always unable to accept the "criticism" of themselves frankly (even if they admit their mistakes, they are still dissatisfied in their hearts), who makes us Chinese the most "face-saving" nation in the world!Therefore, if you know the characteristics of these Chinese people, but you want to "challenge" them with fierce artillery fire, I can guarantee that you will not gain anything.Not only that, your gains are likely to be negative (annoyed and even hated by subordinates-think about how Zhang Fei died during the Three Kingdoms period!).At most, it will allow you to satisfy your desire to "train people" and enjoy the perverted pleasure of being a "dominant" through the satisfaction of this desire to "train people".The way to verify this is simple, as long as you are Chinese.You only need to "exchange" the positions of you and the subordinates you reprimanded in the virtual world.Just imagine how you would feel if you were the one being reprimanded—whether you would be "convinced" and shout "really educated!"—and that's it.

Because of this, out of all "pragmatic" considerations, it is best to use "praise" or "praise" for the management or education of Chinese people.Because this method is most in line with the Chinese national character of "saving face", it is also the method that is most likely to "be effective".At the same time, if you really can't hold back and want to enjoy the pleasure of being a "leader", it's okay to reprimand your subordinates occasionally and satisfy your vanity a little bit.But don't have any illusions about the "practical effect" of this reprimand.Otherwise, you are the biggest fool in the world.But unfortunately, is it also due to the Chinese people's mentality of "saving face", or is it a mentality of "a thousand-year-old daughter-in-law turning into a mother-in-law" and changing from "masochism" to "sadism"?Once the Chinese become a "leader", they often immediately forget the "injury" and "pain" they suffered when they were reprimanded by their superiors when they were employees, and become more fond of (or showing off) the right to "reprimand their subordinates".This is really a great irony!

Because of this, the Chinese have learned all kinds of "hypocrisy" tricks (maybe it should be said to be a very effective "survival skill"?) in the cycle, struggle and struggle of "face" for thousands of years - such as not daring to Assuming or shirking responsibility, such as being very good at making excuses to excuse oneself, such as being extremely taboo to say the "truth", such as being very good at (even though it is disgusting from the heart, but still good at) intrigue... The final situation is: everyone has Countless masks, but everyone tries to see through the masks of others.Thinking about each other and being suspicious of each other will never and will not be able to truly achieve efficient "communication".Therefore, we will always be able to find the best reason to "dumb our lives", and always regard "just passing by" and "no fault is merit" as the best "survival philosophy"... Such a "vicious circle" can bring about efficient "execution" Power" is the devil.

In this case, just throw away those useless and self-deceiving tricks of "a filial son is born under a stick"!Since no nation values ​​"face" more than the Chinese, then "follow the good", follow the trend, and boldly adopt the methods of "praise", "praise" and "encouragement"!You know, as a leader, your "negative" evaluation is often fatal to your subordinates—you can destroy all his (her) self-confidence in an instant.Therefore, you must be cautious and use "negative" evaluation with caution.You must understand that we Chinese are no better than Americans in that we can frankly accept our "negative" things.Even if he says this in his mouth, you must not believe it. Any negative evaluation from you will undoubtedly bring him pain and frustration, making it difficult for him to stand up again.Remember, don't look at the Chinese who always say "can afford it and let it go", but there are not even 1% of people who can really do this.

On the contrary, as a leader, you must understand how much your subordinates are eager to get your "affirmative" evaluation. Your "praise" may make him feel full of energy for a whole day (or even a week)!Throw away your meaningless "show off your leadership authority" wretched mentality!When you can earnestly discover even the slightest progress and achievements of your subordinates, and give your sincere "praise" and "encouragement" in a timely and unsparing manner, you will find that you will soon You will have a team full of passion and combat effectiveness!What a simple thing it is!And you have been stingy for such a long time!

(End of this chapter)