Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 11 The Infinite Magic Power of Emotional Intelligence (1)
The magic of emotional intelligence knows no bounds.Success requires a high IQ, but more importantly, a high EQ.A high IQ allows people to see the world clearly and know what they are doing, and a high EQ allows people to know how to deal with the world and the people around them.Whether they are business geniuses or political elites, their success is all due to their high emotional intelligence.

(The first section discovers the secret in the comparison
Although the development of psychology has made us marvel at an unconscious spiritual world, those research results seem to be only used to solve the problems of mental patients. Many people think that "emotional intelligence" seems a bit mysterious and the scientific component is a bit far-fetched.However, in our society, many questions make people think about why people have so many spiritual crises, especially in today's highly competitive society.Therefore, although it is a bit mysterious, we still need to spend a lot of time to understand it, because it can indeed solve some problems.

The IQs of geniuses are all similar, but the fates of geniuses are very different. No matter what kind of society or rule they are in, we often say that some people play two sides when they see the wind, but "those who know the current "Junior" is a wise saying, this is a way of life, which determines how a person spends his life.There are many such examples in history. We can see from them how some "emotional intelligence" factors have affected their achievements. At the same time, what qualities are needed for a successful career? Where exactly?

Since ancient times, people have different views on success. The benevolent sees benevolence, and the wise sees wisdom.They are also great writers and poets. Li Bai and Su Shi are both great masters who shine in the annals of history. Their personalities are very similar, but there are many differences in their life circumstances.After encountering setbacks in life, their situations are similar, and they all have a detached ideological pursuit. Li Bai's outlook on life has an inherent aristocratic arrogance, and Su Shi, who thinks differently from him, has a kind of Civilian consciousness has a kind of self-knowledge and self-sufficiency.Therefore, they are equally open-minded, but reveal different personalities and spirits. Li Bai's political insight is really unflattering, while Su Shi's political insight makes people feel lucky.

Where there is light in the world, there must be darkness. A sage with a noble mind and excessive display of talent will be hated by the mediocre and foolish.A sage is caught in a net of hatred and darkness, how can he be invincible!Li Bai is such a person. He shows his sharpness everywhere. He is a fool if he doesn't know great wisdom.I have longed to step into the official career all my life, to be a king, for the country, for the people of the world, to create a prosperous Tang Dynasty, and then retire after being successful, to retire to the mountains and forests, and enjoy the natural life.What a pity!With such an ambition, there was no chance at all, and finally became a song "The Road to Shu is Difficult", "The road to Shu is difficult, and it is difficult to go to the blue sky." Is it really no chance at all?Opportunity only patronizes the prepared mind, and Li Bai's preparation is sufficient!Li Bai studied poetry and books when he was young, and he was full of talent and bold personality.There is a so-called "Fifteen Views of Strange Books, Fu Ling Xiangru".After reading thousands of books and traveling thousands of miles, why do you lament your whole life in the end?The reason can only be that there is a problem with emotional intelligence.

First of all, his background is not a noble in this world, but he has an innate aristocratic temperament, which has become the biggest obstacle in his future life.Li Bai's birth and life experience are still a mystery until now. There are different opinions on whether he is a descendant of aristocrats or a blood of a minority.It spends all its wealth throughout its life in order to realize its ambitions in life.He read thousands of books and traveled thousands of miles.The preparations have been very sufficient, everything is ready, only the east wind is owed.However, he never wanted to pass the imperial examination to enter an official career. Instead, he established his reputation in a large number of social activities to attract the attention of the court.After several arduous efforts, Li Bai finally got his wish. He was summoned by Xuanzong and entrusted with the post of "Hanlin Enshrining". "Laughing up to the sky and going out, how can we be from Penghao?" His ecstasy can be seen The emperor summoned him in person, it can be said that the opportunity has come, but what? How did he deal with such an opportunity? It was not a kind of aggressiveness and gratitude, but an indescribable arrogance and unreasonableness. Now we can say It is a kind of free and easy, a kind of chic, but it is not worth the loss to ruin one's future for such chic! From Li Bai's poems, we can see his arrogant and unruly character, and all his talents seem to be limited to writing poems Now, only in his poems can we get a kind of venting and expression. "The power of the powerful" seems to be what he hates the most, but it is also what he yearns for, and he has the arrogance and arrogance of the nobles in his bones.

Li Bai is very conceited and often compares himself to outstanding politicians such as Guan Zhong and Zhuge Liang. After leaving Sichuan at the age of 26, Li Bai rarely returned to Sichuan.Throughout his life, he has always described himself as a "big roc", "the big roc spreads its wings and is about to touch the sky".In "Ode to Dapeng", he described the image of Dapeng who "rises from three thousand and marches quickly to ninety thousand" with extreme exaggeration, and expressed his extraordinary character, spirit and ambition.

He has political ambitions, but his heart is very proud, and he is unwilling to start from scratch. He looks down on the step-by-step imperial examinations, the Jingwei who fills the sea, and the chicken who keeps the routine.Now that he has come to the feet of the emperor, since he has entered the "political world", he should act according to the rules of official career. Now his status is different, and he has changed from a commoner to a high-ranking official who serves the emperor.After working in the central government, he still retains the mentality of an opposition party. Regardless of his status or status, he is "equal to the prince". According to the way, he is just an imperial literati of Xuanzong.However, "playing ten thousand rides is like a bureaucrat's friend, and one's companion is like a mustard", just as Du Fu wrote: "Li Baidou's hundred poems on wine, Chang'an City went to the restaurant to sleep. The emperor can't get on the boat, and he claims to be a minister of wine." I I really doubt whether he really doesn't know or not. The Chinese emperors are always high above them. How often have they ever had a sense of equality?For such a contemptuous and disrespectful behavior, who would Xuanzong alienate you?What kind of character is Gao Lishi?He was the most favored and powerful eunuch who had served Xuanzong for decades, and even the prime ministers Li Linfu and Yang Guozhong were the first to curry favor with him before they got high positions.He actually stretched out his foot in front of Xuanzong and told him to "get off the boots"!What an incredible arrogance!In the end, it was inevitable. For three years in Chang'an, he had made no achievements, and was finally "politely" invited out of Chang'an by Xuanzong.

What kind of character you have, what kind of destiny you have. Li Bai was naturally free-spirited and unrestrained. In addition, he was quite influenced by Taoism in his extensive travels in seeking immortality and visiting Taoism. "Laozi" says: "The house is full of gold and jade, and there is no one who can keep it. Wealth and pride, leave the blame. Retire after success, the way of heaven." Li Bai's understanding of "retire after success" is the same as the Confucian "rule of success" It is similar to beneficiary to the world, and poor to be good alone".On the one hand, he has grand political ambitions, and on the other hand, he wants to be free and unrestrained.And this is simply impossible.Officialdom is like a bird cage. Since you want to enter it, you must be honest and well-behaved. Don't feel that the world here is small and restricted, and you should stop envious of the blue sky and white clouds. Instead, you must follow the rules of the game in the cage and not be willful. guilty of liberalism.Don't you see, from ancient times to the present, the officialdom has advanced and retreated, how many kind-hearted people have become insidious, how many people with free and easy behavior have become rigid, how many people with strong personalities have smoothed their edges and corners, and how many self-respecting people have become shameless .Submissiveness and obedience are everywhere.Just like a bird that has been locked in a cage for a long time and is used to living in it, even if the cage door is opened, it no longer seeks to fly.Because the reward for giving up freedom is to get cheap food, and you can be full all day long.Since Li Bai shouted "An Neng can break the eyebrows and bend the waist to serve the powerful and make me unhappy", then you should stay away from officialdom, let alone expect "there will be times when the wind and the waves break, and you will hang your sails directly to help the sea".It's better to be a poet wholeheartedly, this is his best choice.

Chinese literati seem to have two major aspirations, one is official career fame, the other is writing books and writing books, which is more important, and it is indeed a different value orientation. If they cannot have both, most of history hopes for the former. However, official career and fame are not left to one's will. Times create heroes, and there are always many untimely births. Fortunately, there are still books that can be said.Taibai is unrestrained and arrogant, and it is impossible to really engage in politics. History cannot be assumed. As politicians, they can judge the situation by themselves, but they still have some political ideas that are worthy of recognition, but as Han Feizi said. Without power, there is nothing to do with methods and techniques.Let's talk about Li Bai: "Taibai reached the crown, traveled with the sword, made friends with the world's heroes, had the ambition of a great roc, and hid the universe in his belly. His talents were shocking, weeping ghosts and gods, fighting wine and composing hundreds of poems. It is unprecedented and unprecedented. Those who are unique in ancient and modern times." For thousands of years, many literati have recited his poems, only wishing that this life can make it happen, and leave a name in history. ?However, we all know that the road to official career is the pursuit of Li Bai's life. Relying on his poetic talent, he traveled around the world, hoping to get acquainted with Bole. May I know Han Jingzhou once."But he is not willing to be only a literati for the imperial court. He is a king and hegemony. He wants to be Su Qin, Zhang Yi, Guan Zhong and Le Yi, Zhuge and Han Xin. , An Sheji, creating a prosperous Tang Dynasty.However, looking at the long history of China, how many people who practice kingship can show their ambitions?He was born in the prosperous Tang Dynasty, was he born at the wrong time?No, the key is that his character determines its destiny, the pursuit of freedom, absolute freedom, will definitely lead to inaction in politics.Even if you have the talents of the world, you can't be tolerated by the world, and you have the ambition to transcend things but your heart is not calm.Therefore, Li Bai practiced Taoism later, but he couldn't escape the vicissitudes of life.

"Everyone in the world knows that beauty is beauty but evil is evil, and everyone knows that goodness is goodness and evil is not good." This truth is very simple, and it expresses a lot of philosophies in dealing with things. Do you have many times like this in your life?

Let us look at Su Shi again.

Mr. Lin Yutang said: "When Su Dongpo is mentioned, Chinese people always smile kindly and warmly." Su Shi is the most friendly Chinese literati.Wherever his footsteps went, he left inexhaustible cultural wealth to future generations. Everyone has read "The Great River Goes East" and "Knowing When There Will Be", and "Looking horizontally as a mountain and forming a peak" and "The Prophet of Spring River Plumbing Duck" are well known.Even if we have never read "Red Cliff Fu", many people know that among the "Eight Masters of Prose in Tang and Song Dynasties", Su's father and son accounted for the third.Not only poems and articles, Su Shi's calligraphy is the first among the "Four Masters of the Song Dynasty"; paintings are famous for bamboo, wood and strange rocks, and poetry and painting are unique.In addition, he has made many achievements in diet, medicine, Zen, etc., and is also keen on scientific and technological inventions.An all-round master of art like him is probably unique in all ages and in all over the world.Su Shi is magnanimous and innocent, and speaks out what is on his mind.There are two main traits in Su Shi's personality, one is "willing to work hard, to take the world as his own responsibility, and to use the world without regret in spite of difficulties"; The spirit of detachment and contemplation that is burdened by gains and losses, honors and disgraces."But the outstanding features are detachment, uprightness, sincerity, love for the people, and selflessness.For example, "Standing the Storm": "Don't listen to the sound of the forest beating the leaves, why not scream and walk slowly. Bamboo sticks and straw shoes are light than horses, who is afraid. A smog and rain let life live. The spring breeze blows and wakes up. Slightly cold. The hills are slanted. But greet each other. Look back to the place where you have always been chic. Go back. There is neither wind nor rain." Although Su Shi deeply felt that life is like a dream, he did not deny life because of this, but strived to transcend himself, and always maintained an optimistic attitude. Faith and a detached and comfortable attitude towards life. "Who's afraid. A mino of mist and rain will make him his life." It is said that he has spent his life as a man of mist and rain, so is he still afraid of the rain in front of him?Not worrying about gains and losses, he is helpless against the political blow in front of him, which shows the author's personality charm of being upright, detached, calm, optimistic, and indifferent to fear.

He is definitely a man of temperament. For his younger brother, he wrote, "I hope you will live a long time, and we will share the joys and joys of thousands of miles away." For his deceased wife, he wrote, "Ten years of life and death are boundless, don't think about it, and you will never forget it." He had three wives and concubines, but no matter what hardships and tribulations he suffered, his family life was always full of warmth.He always sees more friendliness in the world. He can sing with the poems of high officials and officials, and share his heart-songs with the common people;Because of these various reasons, he was luckier than Li Bai. From the moment he arrived in the capital, he was appreciated by the political leaders at that time, and he was destined to have an easier career in the future.He and his younger brother Su Zhe went to Beijing to take the examination of the Ministry of Rites. The examiner of the examination was Ouyang Xiu, the leader of the literary circle at that time.After reading Su Shi's article, he couldn't help but applaud, sweated with joy, and sighed: "30 years later, no one will mention me again, and everyone will talk about this man named Su Shi." Su Shi's article was passed on to his colleagues. Emperor Renzong read the Su brothers' article and said happily: "I have found two prime ministers for my descendants!" Ouyang Xiu's praise and the emperor's praise made Su Shi quickly famous all over the world.He successively served as a judge in Dali and an official in Kaifeng, and wrote a large number of policies on state affairs.This was the most beautiful period of Su Shi's life.Ambitious and full of hesitation, he discusses the right and wrong of history, speaks bluntly and remonstrates, and presents excellent works of literary talent one after another like showing off.Su Shi relied on his talent and reading to embark on his official career. Although he was successful at a young age, Su Shi was like an untied boat all his life, wandering around.
In the second year of Shenzong Yuanfeng, the "Wutai Poetry Case" occurred. The censor Zhongcheng Li Ding and others who were in charge of hearing the case were a bunch of dirty villains with low moral character.In order to put Su Shi to death, they racked their brains to find "evidence" from his poems, took them out of context, and made accusations.Even when he was a prefect in Hangzhou, he watched the tide in Qiantang, and when he came back, he wrote the poem "Wu Er grows up and loves Taoyuan" chanting the tide, which was absurdly interpreted as an "anti-poetry". Why?Someone explained: the emperor is called "Wu Er", and the construction of water conservancy is called "playing with water".From being imprisoned on August 8 to his release on December 18, Su Shi was imprisoned for 12 months and 29 days and was interrogated 4 times.The continuous extortion of confessions all night long, the wanton insults day after day, and the unbearable cruelty gradually made Su Shi see clearly that all arguments were futile.Isn't the big deal just death?I'll just recruit, at worst, I'll die.Su Shi has all recruited, so Su Shi will undoubtedly die. "Dreams around clouds and mountains, heart like a deer, soul flying soup and fire, life like a chicken." When he was going through a difficult time in his official career and Su Shi was in Wutai, many upright people stood up and spoke for him.Once, Wu Chong, Prime Minister of the Left, talked about Cao Cao with Shenzong, and said bluntly: "Cao Cao is so suspicious, and he can tolerate You Heng. Can your majesty still tolerate Su Shi?" At that time, the Empress Dowager was seriously ill, and Shenzong thought Amnesty for the world to pray for her longevity, but the queen mother said: "There is no need to forgive the evil in the world, just let Su Shi alone." Song Shenzong was not a faint king.Song Shenzong is a man who loves talents and has no intention of harming Su Shi.He vetoed the proposal to put Su Shi to death, and only demoted him to Huangzhou for "ridiculous political affairs".

Li Bai's nostalgia and rejection of Chang'an are intertwined throughout his life. In Su Shi's life, Bianliang is also a place that is difficult to abandon and cannot stay for a long time.Chinese literati all have dual personalities, and their concepts of "inner sage" and "outer king" can only be seen to be vacillating.If Su Shi wanted to realize his ideals and aspirations, he had to come here; after living here for a long time, he could not bear the smog in the officialdom and became bored.As a result, he walked in a difficult way, and at the same time intertwined with his inner confusion and confusion, going in and out of the gate of the imperial city, and coming and going on the long post road.He tossed and tossed for several years in the intensified faction battles, and finally he was exhausted and exhausted, and he had the idea of ​​staying away from the place of right and wrong many times.Later, Song Shenzong died, and Zhezong, who was only ten years old, came to the throne, and Empress Dowager Gao came to the court to listen to the government.Su Shi was reassigned as the prefect of Dengzhou, but after only ten days in office, he was recalled to the capital and entrusted with an important task.This is a perfect opportunity for him to make a comeback.With Sima Guang's appointment as Prime Minister, the new law that had been implemented for more than ten years was abolished, and those who opposed the reform were reused.Less than a year after Su Shi returned to Beijing, he was promoted three times.If he is good at grasping opportunities, the future will be bright.However, after all, the poet is not a politician who is good at speculation. He has no mind to consider personal gains and losses.He opposed Wang Anshi's vigorous reform, and also opposed Sima Guang's arbitrariness in abolishing the new law. He believed that the advantages should be retained and the disadvantages should be discarded.In this way, Su Shi became a character in the cracks, being suspicious and jealous on both sides, and ungrateful on both sides.

As early as his youth, Su Shi's father, Su Xun, noticed the difference in personalities between Su Shi and Su Zhe.He explained the reason for naming his two sons in the article "Name the Two Sons": "Wheel, spokes, covers, and hubs all have jobs. Shi is alone as if he is doing nothing. Although, if you go to Shi, then I I haven't seen it as a complete cart. Shi, I'm afraid that you don't have any external decoration. All the carts in the world can't follow the ruts. As far as the merits of the cart are concerned, the ruts are not the same. Although the horses and horses die, the troubles are not as good as the ruts. .It is true that the good is between misfortune and good fortune. It is true that I know that it will be avoided!"

Mr. Zeng Zaozhuang's explanation for this statement is: "Shi is the crossbar used as an armrest on the car, which is exposed outside, so he said: 'Shihu, I am afraid of you. It is not a decoration." Su Shi's character is bold and uninhibited, sharp It is true that it is "no decoration". As a result, it has been repeatedly criticized in its life and was almost decapitated. Ruts are the imprints of being run over by a car. It has neither the merits of the car nor the accident of overturning the car. Su Zhe's character was aggressive and indifferent, and he was deep and secretive, so in the fierce party struggles, although he was repeatedly criticized, he was able to avoid disaster and spent his old age leisurely." Su Shi's character like this is really innate.

(End of this chapter)