Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 21 Emotional intelligence is an essential quality for successful people (1)
To be successful, a high IQ is very important.However, in addition to high IQ, one must also have high EQ, the qualities that people with high EQ need to possess. These qualities are undoubtedly the characteristics and qualities shared by successful people.

(Section [-] Emotional Intelligence and Success

Everyone thinks that in a high-tech enterprise, the leader's IQ is very important, but in fact, the importance of EQ exceeds IQ.A well-known research institution in the United States surveyed 188 companies, tested the IQ and EQ of the senior executives of each company, and correlated the test results of each executive with the performance of the executive at work for analysis.It was found that for leaders, emotional intelligence is 9 times more influential than IQ.People with slightly lower IQs can succeed just as well if they have a higher EQ index.Emotional intelligence means: having enough courage to face the challenges that can be overcome, having enough measure to accept the insurmountable challenges, and having enough wisdom to distinguish the difference between the two.He very much agrees that "it is necessary to establish various talent evaluation index systems composed of morality, knowledge, ability and other elements".

In 2000, Kai-fu Lee wrote "My View on Talent" and "A Letter to Chinese Students" to Chinese college students on the Internet.Soon, two articles were widely circulated on the Internet and among Chinese universities.It mentioned that sticking to the principles of honesty and integrity, living in a group, being an active person, challenging yourself, and communicating straightforwardly are the principles of life, which seem simple, but are listed as the motto by many college students.Regarding emotional intelligence, Kai-fu Lee talked more about being good at communicating with others, being self-conscious and empathetic.For example, self-awareness is what Chinese people often call "self-knowledge", having a clear understanding of one's own qualities, potentials, strengths, defects, experience, etc., and having a clear positioning of the role one may play in social work and life .And empathy is to compare your heart with your heart.

Emotional intelligence cannot be learned by memorizing books or taking exams.Under the influence of the traditional Chinese way of memorizing exams, the cultivation of EQ has been neglected or even neglected for a long time.The exam-oriented mentality has caused many Chinese students to study hard every day, regard the pursuit of good grades as their only life goal, have no time to make friends, and neglect the cultivation of interpersonal relationships.The "ranking" of Chinese schools has created a mentality of "struggling alone".Such an education model may gradually train students to become people with very low emotional intelligence.

problems and gaps.First, evaluate where your emotional intelligence is lacking.There is a 360-degree opinion survey in American companies. Every employee has to be evaluated by his superiors, subordinates, and collaborators. The final evaluation should be a real you in the eyes of others.Evaluations are anonymous and often result in honest opinions.Although there is no similar survey in school, students can still listen to the opinions of teachers, parents, and classmates, and choose suitable goals to cultivate their emotional intelligence.If the interpersonal relationship is too bad, you can set a goal to make a new friend every month; if you have poor self-control or bad temper, you can ask your friends to use the agreed "password" to remind yourself to calm down when you want to lose your temper.

In primary and secondary schools in the United States, teachers often ask students to set a goal for themselves in the near future.If the student is a shy child, the parents will discuss with the teacher to set overcoming shyness as the goal of the student's progress, and ask her to raise her hand to ask questions once a day.After a period of time, the raising of hands to ask questions was changed to once in a class, and later, raising hands several times in a class.Finally, raising her hand to ask questions in class has become a habit, and she no longer feels embarrassed to speak to many people.In China, the development of emotional intelligence may encounter obstacles.There are great differences in educational concepts between China and the United States. China should recognize and absorb the good educational concepts of the United States. Basic education is the premise and university education is the key.In the United States, almost every time the students take homework, they cooperate with two or three classmates. If they do not do well, they will be criticized. They share weal and woe, and the children have a strong sense of cooperation.

In China, if everyone completes an assignment together, will the teacher encourage it?If parents ask the teacher not to post the child's grades on the wall, but just explain the student's general learning status, will the teacher accept it?If the students propose that I want to be the best version of myself, rather than a mass-produced version without personality, will parents and teachers be willing?Be open and share your thoughts with others.But these recommendations are challenged in an educational environment like China. "You let us share our ideas with others, but some people take my good ideas for themselves after hearing my good ideas." "Our teacher said that sharing with others is tantamount to being generous to others. Who do we listen to?"

It's not that if you show a certain ability, you will be invincible. There is no absolutely "perfect" talent in this world!Bill Gates is a very humble person.Many years ago, when Windows didn't exist, he asked a software guru to join Microsoft, and the guru kept ignoring him.In the end, Bill Gates' "stalker" couldn't help but agreed to meet, but as soon as they met, he sneered and said: "I have never seen an operating system worse than Microsoft." Instead, he said sincerely: "It is because we did not do well that we invite you to join us." The master was stunned.Gates' modesty drew the master into Microsoft's camp. The master became the person in charge of Windows and finally developed the world's most common operating system.

Young entrepreneurs should read the book "Good to Great", which proposes that a company that goes from good to great has a "level five leader."Level 7 leaders are characterized by humility, courage, and perseverance.They don't inflate themselves, brag about themselves, or occupy power, but always put the company first and delegate power to capable people.Steve Ballmer, the CEO of Microsoft, a few years ago, Ballmer was like a decisive boss, who liked to grasp everything with one hand, and was always at the forefront to boost morale.After becoming CEO, he delegated power to the heads of the company's seven major departments. Instead of being the final decision-maker for every major event, he supported the growth of the heads of the seven departments.He is no longer the most provocative cheerleader, but a behind-the-scenes coach.He turned his study of competitors into a study of talent.Ballmer's behavior is very instructive for us.

Doctor of Psychology joined Microsoft.Dr. Wang Jian, head of the multi-channel user interface group at Microsoft Asia Research Institute, used to be a professor in the Department of Psychology and a doctoral supervisor, and turned into a chief researcher at Microsoft. His research on the "digital pen" made Bill Gates look like a child. ecstatic.As we all know, IT companies must maximize humanization of products.Today, not only psychologists like Wang Jian join Microsoft to assist in product advancement from the perspective of psychology, but even experts in the humanities such as writers and sociologists are also serving Microsoft.If discussing whether a technology should be commercialized, there is a special department within Microsoft to simulate who will use this product and on what occasion.Based on the market research conducted by sociologists, novelists have to fabricate several scenes for different protagonists to use the product, and may even make pictures or TV films in the end.People in the R&D department can see a simulated future product trend. He may be able to see that it is basically impossible for a housewife to use this new product; or a company manager likes this product very much, but there are still many functionalities. It was very difficult to get up, and finally gave up.

"A modern enterprise needs more compound talents".

Former Microsoft leader Kai-fu Lee's mentor Roger?Reddy is a member of the Information Committee of the US President's Special Advisory Council and a winner of the "Turing Award".As a scientist, he is not omniscient, but he knows how to look at a field that he does not understand, and how to use some of the most difficult problems to stimulate students' enthusiasm and imagination.In the process of computer speech recognition research, Kai-fu Lee had doubts about the method advocated by his mentor, and planned to try other methods.As a result, a world-class top master had a disagreement with his student who had not yet graduated.Roger Reddy finally said: "I don't agree with you, but I can support you." It was this attitude of the mentor that influenced Kai-fu Lee's life.Kai-fu Lee went on in his own way, and Roger Reddy provided him with the best machines and the latest information as always.Kai-fu Lee's research finally made a major breakthrough, the recognition rate of the speech system increased from 40% to 80%. Roger Reddy also said excitedly, you should go to an international conference to publish a paper.Kai-fu Lee's results caused a sensation. To this day, all speech recognition research in the world is carried out on the basis of his pioneering work.

wealth and ideas.American steel magnate Andrew Carnegie once said: "You can take all my wealth away, but in a few years, I can still become a millionaire." Learning the ability to make money is more important than making money!Some researchers have also said: "If the wealth of the whole society is gathered together and redistributed equally to everyone, within three to five years, the money of the majority will still flow into the pockets of the few." Although most people don't want to They spend it, but they can't stand the resistance of ignorance and ignorance, and they can't resist the temptation of sugar-coated traps. After a few bets, they are wiped out.In the end, the original rich people still have a lot of money.Blind investment can only be called courage. If knowledge and ideas are added, it is called courage!In the bones of a rich man, he firmly believes that he was not born to be a poor man, but to be a rich man. He has a strong sense of making money, which is already in his blood, and he will do everything possible to make himself rich; Poor people seldom think about how to make money and how to make money. They think that this is what they should do all their lives, and they don't believe that there will be any changes.The difference between the poor and the rich is that the poor watch TV at home, while the rich go out to market; the poor save money, and the rich invest; Being selected by others, the rich think of choosing others; the poor learn crafts, the rich learn management; the poor listen to news, and the rich listen to speeches.The lack of learning by the poor is both the result of being poor and the cause of being poorer.Poor people use computers as toys, and rich people use computers for business.The difference in thinking concept makes everything different!Getting rich is all about a concept.Deng Xiaoping once said: "Reform is a revolution of ideas." Napoleon Hill, a master of success, also said: "All achievements, all wealth, start with an idea." Whether you think you can or can't, All are right!A person's life is the result of actions taken or not taken! The 20/80 rule tells us that 20% of people own 80% of the sum of social wealth, and 80% of people own 20% of the sum of social wealth.This may not seem fair, but it is, because 20% of the people paid what 80% of the people did not pay.Pay and return are always proportional!Life is like a multiple-choice question, whether to do the former or the latter is all about your own choice!Those who can make money are true wisdom, and those who make more money contribute more to the country and society.To make money, you must break the existing stereotypes!If you have money, you can often solve all problems; if you don't have money, you can often create many problems.Money is not important, but it is necessary; talking about money is vulgar, but very practical.Whether money is a good thing or a bad thing depends entirely on the ruler!Making money is not our purpose, but to realize our ambitions and wishes through making money, to become the person we expect, to become the successful person with quality!I am afraid to talk about money because I am very afraid of money, and fear leads to not making money.If you don't make some money, you will never reach a well-off living standard, and will become a burden for the party and the government in poverty alleviation for a long time!The so-called "poverty alleviation" should not only help the poor economically, but also help the empty spirit and thoughts. Only in this way can people get rid of poverty both materially and spiritually!Poverty is not terrible, what is terrible is that willingness to be poor leads to persistent poverty.Persistent poverty will numb people's will, close people's vision, and make people dull.The compromise of the will to poverty will lead to the abandonment of the change of poverty in the behavior, which will eventually make poverty accompany for a lifetime.Poverty puts people in a disadvantaged position, poverty makes people lose their dignity, and the process of getting rid of poverty is a struggle to maintain their own dignity!With the advent of the Internet economy, the sea is wide and the sky is high.Never have you been as free as you are now when you want to choose a career.If we can't get rid of poverty as soon as possible, it will be an expression of dereliction of duty and incompetence!If a person is poor, he can only blame himself for lack of ambition; if a company or a country fails, he can only blame the managers and leaders for their failure.The root of the problem is internal.The external cause is the condition of the change, and the internal cause is the basis of the change.Temperature doesn't turn rocks into chickens!The change of internal factors comes from continuous learning. We must make learning an instinct, not just a habit.Although some people have many books, they use them for decoration.The greatest learning is to be willing to learn from the heart.We must learn to invest above the neck and arm our minds with knowledge.Wang Ciguan once said: "A person who is poor is mainly because his head is poor. If you want to live a rich life, you must first have rich thoughts. If your head is rich, your pockets will be rich. If you have rich thoughts, you can stay away from poverty." In order to have tomorrow , must act today.There is only one reason for success in business; there are a hundred reasons and excuses for failure in business!Adopting other people's successful strategies and learning from other people's successful experience can reduce the time for self-exploration.Many people work hard and pay a lot, but they have not succeeded because of wrong choices and wrong methods.Everything in the universe has its own laws of movement. There are also laws in the circulation of money, but few people interpret them.This law is: money flows unknowingly into the hands of people with advanced ideas, courage, high quality, strong action and great influence!

People usually tend to overlook an important thing, that is, they are unwilling to check their own problems, and they are used to complaining about others.Instead of complaining about others, it is better to use actions to change yourself.Don't make yourself very casual and don't be too critical of others.To make a successful career, you need a high profile, a high state, learn to forgive and tolerate, and treat others in the way you want others to treat you.Strict self-discipline is the characteristic of successful people.A person's achievements can never exceed his thought pattern!The competition in the new century is essentially the competition of quality, and the common task is to improve quality.An author has collected many examples of ups and downs in the past 20 years of reform and opening up: such as Yu Zuomin, Mou Zhong, Bu Xinsheng, Ma Shengli, Zhang Xingrang, etc., wrote a book "The Great Ups and Downs", meaning Summarizing lessons learned.One of the most fundamental lessons is the lack of proper qualities.Another example is some administrators, commonly known as government officials, who want to show their ambitions and serve as officials to benefit one party.But once upon a time, either the edges and corners were rounded by the society, or the "half-way heroes" who fell from the horse, in the final analysis, it was still a matter of concept.Ideas determine a person's success or failure, ideas determine a person's wealth.

The emotional intelligence of a "rogue".A rogue is defined here as: an extraordinary "aggressive" talent for a specific goal regardless of gains and losses, regardless of probability, regardless of means, regardless of dignity, and shame.An adage that is regarded as stupid in the economic sense is a rogue's declaration of success: Even if there is only one percent chance, I will do 90.00% nine efforts.A successful person, especially a big successful person, apart from his innate strengths and acquired luck, the last killer move before reaching the peak of success is nothing but hooliganism.

There are a considerable proportion of people who know how to succeed, but they are not thick enough, chic enough, or rascal enough, so they can only withdraw from the competition.There are some people whose innate qualities are no worse than the last "successful man", but he can't make up his mind to be a hooligan, so a certain kind of success is not destined for him.There are two professions in this world populated by a considerable proportion of rogues: merchants and officials.A big businessman who is not a hooligan is not enough to make a lot of money and seek great influence, and a big politician who is not a hooligan is not enough to be promoted to a high position.In this history there is a kind of top hooligans whose name is the emperor.Every emperor (especially the founding emperor) cannot be a top hooligan, and it is impossible for him to reach the top and successfully complete a new market entry and capital restructuring.

This is also the reason why those who are losers often win people's sympathy, and those who succeed are often despised, in addition to the popular concept of "the winner is king and the loser is thief".Tragic heroes are always of aesthetic value, though they are ruined by their inability to hooliganize themselves at the most critical moment.

(End of this chapter)