Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 48 Inspiring Patience and Aggressiveness (1)
Russell said: "Great careers are rooted in tenacious and continuous work, engaged in with all the spirit, not avoiding hardships."

Patience is one of the greatest human qualities. It can help you prepare for the dawn when you endure pain, and help you seize the fleeting opportunity in the trial.If you can learn to be patient, then you can avoid doing stupid things, avoid doing things that are happy for a while but regret for life.So if you learn to be patient, you can spread your wings under the clear sky after the storm, display your ambitions, and realize your dreams.

But patience is not resignation, succumbing to the temptation and dispatch of the god of fate; patience is not passive and decadent, quietly lowering the sail of faith in silence.On the contrary, what is associated with patience is a strong aggressiveness, the tempering of the will, and the accumulation of explosive power; it is to use silent struggle to break through the trap, and to melt the ice with invisible flames.

Wait, be patient, look for all the possibilities of progress, seize all the opportunities of progress, you will be able to extend your life under unfavorable conditions, and you will be able to inspire yourself to fight hard in a difficult environment.This is the spirit of Haloxylon, which is what a successful person needs to learn and must do.

(The melting of ice and snow in the first section is waiting for the arrival of spring

Maybe you have been framed by others, but you have no excuse; maybe you have been a punching bag in the eyes of others, but you are powerless to fight.If you suffer from this situation, if you want to change this situation, you need to change the way you deal with it, you need to get yourself out of this state.But the way to change is often not achieved overnight. It does not require you to take a drastic way to complete it, but to solve it under the principle of not hurting yourself or others.Do not think that violence will calm your anger, do not think that violence will improve your status in the eyes of others; on the contrary, it will only put people in a more embarrassing situation.

Everyone has their own way of life and living standards, and patience is a kind of knowledge in dealing with others.For the same situation, if we use forbearance reasonably, we may be praised by people, but if we cannot restrain forbearance, we may be disgraced by people.For example, it is very common to be stepped on or bumped into in public places. If you can't stand it and hurt others or fight, then your "intolerance" will be spurned by others.

Patience is a kind of self-cultivation, which can not only reflect the tolerance of human nature, but also reflect the quality of a person. "Small intolerance can lead to big plans" and "act when it's time to act" actually refer to two situations. The limit of patience is difficult to define. Sometimes, tolerance and intolerance are just a momentary choice.

If you can withstand the pressure of "false accusations" from others, you can wait for things to come to light, and you can allow your dignity to be reflected in others.If you can choose a reasonable solution in the ridicule and abuse of others without having to bear it any longer, then you can make them understand that you are not weak, but just unwilling to fight for strength.

★Jordan's story
It is estimated that no one does not know the name of Michael Jordan, because he is the spokesperson of the basketball world and a symbol.But no one would have thought that he was the target of bullying by other students when he was young.Because Mike grew up tall and strong, with a fighting physique, his mother was afraid that he would cause trouble at school and become a gangster and the "little bully" of the school, so she had very high demands on him. strict.His mother often taught him to be kind and to be patient.

Michael was kind by nature, so his mother's parenting methods quickly paid off.At the end of the semester, the teacher wrote on his report card: "Michael is an excellent kid, but he should learn to stand up for his own rights. Although he is taller and stronger than other kids, other kids just dare Bullied him, pushed him, even hit him." The mother was proud of her little Michael, but also felt sorry for him.She did not expect that her child would become the target of bullying by others.

When Michael's father found out, he called Michael to his side and asked him how he felt when he was beaten."I don't feel so good," Michael said through tears. "I hate it so much when they call me 'fool', when they push me around, and when they call me a coward." Wanted to smack them, but I knew Mum would be mad if I did."

My father listened to Mike's words quietly, and then said to him: "You don't have to beat them, but you can let them know that you can no longer bear their bullying in other ways. For example, fighting for self-esteem, such as building self-confidence." Little Mike rubbed Tears, nodded.

One day, Michael's parents were called to school by the teacher.Mother anxiously asked the teacher if Michael had fought at school.The teacher smiled and said, no.It turned out that Michael was playing with the children on the basketball court, and the children who often bullied him tried to tease him again. This time Michael did not stand there and endure as usual, but told them to stop.They didn't listen to Mike's request at all and continued with their tricks.So Mike pinned two of them to the basketball court, but didn't hit them.Later, both Michael and the two children went to the teacher to admit their mistakes. Under the persuasion of the teacher, they finally shook hands and made peace.Since then, no such "bullying" incidents have occurred in Michael's class, and Michael has become the most popular person in the class.

In the days that followed, Michael was not only never pushed around, but also became a hero admired by countless fans --- Mike Jordan. ★
Perhaps, each of us has experienced something similar to Michael Jordan's childhood. At this time, someone will advise you to insist on that kind of unprincipled tolerance, and someone will tell you to take revenge with an eye for an eye.In fact, neither the former nor the latter can help you establish your own image afterwards, because the content of life is far from simple.In the communication between people, it is inevitable that there will be friction, and it is inevitable that there will be conflicts due to impulse, but in the end, what people often want to pursue is a peaceful coexistence, not a fierce battle of gunpowder.Therefore, it is very important to know the principled tolerance.If other people's behavior is beyond your tolerance, then you should act like Michael and solve it in another way. As a result, you may find that the other person is not as hopeless or as bad as you thought.

In life, we should be kind to others and learn to maintain our dignity and rights.To achieve both, we need to have a good sense of proportion and insist on principled patience, so that we can be full of strength, and this strength will propel us to a successful life and let us take the first steps.

(Second Section Hold the Sunshine with Tenacity

For a person, if he wants to succeed in his career, perhaps physical torture is nothing, only mental torture may be the most fatal.If you are determined to start your own business, you must first ask yourself in your heart whether you have such a kind of "concentration" and "spiritual power" in the face of physical and mental torture.If not, then be careful.

Many people, especially young people who have just started working, are often dissatisfied with the job they choose. They often complain that the conditions of the company or unit are too poor, which bury their talents. ".Therefore, a habit of procrastination has been formed in doing things, and the work is kept hot for 3 minutes.Standing on this mountain, I always see that the other mountain is higher, and I always secretly plan to go to another place for a walk, to change to a new environment, to be comfortable and comfortable.

If a person can calm down his heart at the moment he makes a choice, and intend to stick to it, then he will definitely dig water out of the ground under his feet, instead of digging a hole for another place, and in the end There is a possibility of dying of thirst.Sometimes, the lack of perseverance and patience may be due to the fact that we did not develop such qualities when we were young, and we did not have the opportunity to develop such habits!
Strong endurance is not born to everyone, but needs to be honed in life.Patience is an important non-intellectual factor. Some people may develop willful, impulsive and impatient bad habits at school and at home due to the influence of the social environment or the side effect of the "center" position as the only child. Habits, they have no restraint, weak will, and often do things anticlimactic.This habit is not good for him personally or for the society, and cannot adapt well to the trend of modern economic development.

★Perseverance and dedication Hou Songrong
"You should choose carefully and act persistently." This is the motto of Konka CEO Hou Songrong.He believes that every position and every job has its existence value, and you will truly understand it when you integrate into it; while those who like or are tired of job-hopping can only rely on these real knowledge and abilities at any time. The edge of the past has passed, and finally missed the opportunity, and it is difficult to succeed.Whether it's study or career, don't be caught off guard.To learn knowledge and do things, you must concentrate.Whether you can succeed in studying and doing things is one of the decisive factors. You must have full confidence in the work you are doing and be persistent.He proved this with his actions.Since graduating from university in 1990 and coming to Shenzhen, he has stayed in Konka for more than ten years.In the past ten years, he has continuously accumulated his own energy, endured various difficulties, and continuously learned to adapt to the new and changing environment.It is precisely because of these reserves that he has the ability to shoulder the burden of Konka today, so that Konka can tide over the difficulties and embark on the path of stable development; he also has the opportunity to finally realize the value of his life today and make himself a better person. career has become brilliant. ★
No matter you are an unknown clerk or a 3-minute worker who is unwilling to continue the current environment, if you want to really change yourself and make yourself outstanding at work, then you must learn to be patient temporarily. Be patient with the environment that tempers you and tests you.Now that you have chosen, don't give up easily, otherwise you will never achieve anything.

* Down-to-earth Ross
After joining the NBA team for 6 years, Rose has been unknown. He first played for the bad team Nuggets, and then transferred to the Pacers.In the first two years of the Pacers, his life was not easy at all. He was not appreciated by coach Brown and was often left on the bench.

"I remember that there was a season where I was not allowed to play for 14 consecutive games, and I was not injured at all at that time."

Talking about that painful experience, Ross still feels chilling, but he thinks it taught him a lot, especially patience, and made him understand what is worth cherishing.

It wasn't until Bird went to the Pacers to coach that it brought Rose a turning point.When Rose played at the University of Michigan, Bird had watched him play and thought he was very capable at the time.So the first sentence Bird said to Rose from the Pacers was: "I believe you have talent, and I will reuse you."

Bird's words gave Rose great confidence. He practiced hard, his skills were quickly improved, and he was quickly included in the starting lineup.Today, Rose has become the mainstay of the Pacers.In a finals game, Rose performed well.In the first five finals, he played steadily, averaging 22 points per game.Especially in the fifth game, Rose dominated the game, scoring 32 points alone, becoming the Pacers' leading scorer. "Ross has always been one of the players I admire the most," Bird said after the game. "His success is due to his down-to-earth and hard work."★
(End of this chapter)