Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 76 Using Emotional Intelligence to Develop Your Career (3)
Don't gossip about trivial matters, if you always gossip about trivial trifles, then your career will often not develop.If you're particularly fond of talking about the weather, TV shows, or restaurant meals, save those topics for those who also like to talk about trifles, and don't expect to impress your boss with these topics.

(5) Carefully develop personal relationships with superiors
A question that has always plagued employees is what type of personal relationship to develop with their supervisor, and to what extent is appropriate.One guideline for addressing this problem is to develop a friendly personal relationship with the supervisor during activities that most employees can participate in; individual social activities with the supervisor outside of work often lead to role conflicts, such as being alone with the supervisor Camping or a date for two, etc.

(6) Carefully sell your ideas to your boss.

Be careful not to upset your boss when you pitch your idea to your boss.Don't rush to talk to your boss as soon as you think of something, it will waste his time.You must wait until the idea is basically complete before communicating with your boss, and you must list the benefits of implementing the suggestion and list the possible flaws in your idea before giving specific suggestions.

(7) Positive interaction with superiors

The ultimate goal of many of the techniques described above is to achieve positive interactions with your boss.Studies have found that employees who make a conscious effort to impress their bosses tend to score better on performance reviews.Employees who consciously please their bosses tend to be perceived as more similar to their bosses, and those who resemble their bosses on demographic factors (race, age, gender) also score better on performance reviews.Therefore, no matter whether you are intentional or born, you can always win the favor of your boss if you are similar to your boss.

Regardless of your position, sometimes you need help from others, and these people are often not your subordinates, so you must establish a good interpersonal relationship with your colleagues.If you can maintain a good interpersonal relationship with them, then you will be able to respond to everyone, and the work will naturally go much smoother.Research has found that friendships at work are associated with increased job satisfaction and enthusiasm, and that employees who have friendships at work also tend to be more loyal to the organization and less likely to quit.The researchers summarized the research results into the following model:
Friendship Work enthusiasm Job satisfaction Organizational loyalty Low job-hopping or low probability of layoff

There are principles to follow when dealing with colleagues.

1.Follow group norms.These norms are often unwritten rules, including standards for what behaviors members of the group should do and what behaviors they should not do.If you don't deviate from these norms, many of your behaviors will be acceptable to other members.But if you stray too far, you risk being abandoned by the herd.Group members can learn group norms through direct observation or informed by other members.

Most of the norms also involve who the group members eat with, drink tea with on Friday afternoon, or join the departmental sports team together, or even about what to wear to work.So group norms also affect social behavior in the work environment, and if you don't follow these norms too much, you are likely to be expelled from the group.

However, if you conform too much to group norms, you run the risk of losing yourself.You'll be seen by your boss as "one of the bunch" rather than an individual trying to thrive in the organization.There is a price to be paid for over-association with groups.

2.Be a good listener.The easiest way to develop a good relationship with your colleagues is to be a good listener.At work, colleagues may confide to you about various problems they encounter, or confide in you various complaints.You can listen to colleagues talking about their private life, current affairs, sports news, etc. during lunch, break time, and on the way home from get off work, which can keep your relationship with your colleagues close without causing adverse effects.

3.Be honest and open in your relationships.Humanistic psychology believes that it is important to maintain honest and open relationships with others.When a co-worker asks for your opinion on an issue, you should be honest, but be careful with your words, as this helps maintain an open relationship.

4.Exhibit a helpful, easy-to-work with, and courteous demeanor.Many jobs require teamwork, and it's easy to be seen as a good team player if you appear to be helpful and willing to work with others.The establishment of the company is based on cooperation. Without cooperation, the whole system will collapse.When assessing job performance, many companies include scores on cooperative attitudes.Your boss and colleagues will evaluate your cooperative attitude.

5.Help others more.Don't always think about asking others to help you. To maintain a good interpersonal relationship, it is more important to help others.You can use the method of saving in the human relationship bank mentioned above to do what you can to help others, and you must help others in place, and don’t do half of the good deeds and cause a lot of trouble to others.

6.Requests are better than orders.When you need help from others, don't use the tone of command, but use the tone of request.Using the tone of request can get better results, that's because most people like the feeling of giving advice and providing help to others, and no one likes being ordered to do this or that coldly.

7.Be a person who can give support to others.A supportive person is someone who enables others to grow and is often a positive person as well.They are supportive and always see the good in others.The opposite of this type of person is the one who destroys the positive vibe because they always see the bad side in others.The following example fully illustrates the difference between these two types of people:
Randy is a procurement expert.One day she broke into the office with a pale face and said, "I'm so sorry for breaking in, can someone help me? I spent 3 hours drawing a form on the computer, but for some reason this document suddenly Disappeared. I am so anxious!"

A colleague, Maggot, said: "Don't worry, I can help you sort out your thoughts, let's go and have a look now." Another colleague, Ralph, whispered to Maggot: "Let him do it himself." Read the user manual. Otherwise, you will be miserable, and he will come to you every time he encounters a problem in the future."

If you spend any length of time with someone like Ralph, you're bound to feel tired, depressed, and exhausted.And with someone like Maggot, there must be positive optimism and enthusiasm.People who are consistently supportive, courageous and enthusiastic tend to have better relationships.

At work, in addition to your boss and colleagues, you must also establish good interpersonal relationships with customers.There are mainly 9 ways to establish and maintain a good relationship with customers:
1.Establish customer satisfaction goals.The premise of using this method is to first consider the relevant goals, and consider the three-level goals: company goals, departmental goals and individual goals.Then take specific measures to achieve the goal in a targeted manner.

2.Understand the needs of customers.Many customers have no way to clearly express their needs, and they are sometimes not sure whether they have a need.To help customers identify their needs, you must gather information.For example, a salesperson in a camera store will ask the customer: "What kind of camera do you expect in your heart?" In this way, he can judge which model, brand and price of the camera can meet the customer's needs.

3.Put customer needs first.If the needs of customers have been clearly defined, then the next step is to try our best to meet the needs of customers within the possible range, instead of coveting convenience and worry, and satisfying customers by the way.If you "satisfy customers by the way" for a long time, the customers will not satisfy you - you won't even be given the chance to satisfy you by the way!
4.Care about customers.When in contact with customers, you must truly proceed from the interests of customers, at least let customers feel your sincerity.You can ask, "Is your camera handy? How was your day?" When the customer answers your question, be sure to show genuine concern, not fake affection.

5.Exhibit a positive attitude.Positive attitudes can be shown in many ways, such as smart attire, friendly gestures, a warm tone of voice, and good phone communication skills.If a customer feels a little embarrassed for asking too much, you should reply, "You're welcome. We work to please you, and we couldn't prosper without your support." Another The most important method is to show a warm smile to every customer. A smile can often make people get along well.Even if your customer is angry about the service, keep smiling.

6.Actively help customers solve problems.If a customer has a problem, even if it's not your fault at work, take the initiative to solve the problem for the customer.

7.Follow up.Tracking whether your service satisfies customers is an effective way to establish a good relationship with customers.Sometimes, a return call is enough.This approach works because it completes the communication cycle.

8.Resolve conflict constructively.If you have a conflict with a customer, you should first resolve the conflict in a win-win manner.In addition, please remember two methods: first, allow customers to vent their anger; second, treat customers as partners.

9.Treat customers as partners.This means working with customers to solve problems. For example, if a customer's order cannot be delivered on time, say something like: "Let's see how this problem can be solved together. See if we can work out a solution together." A solution that benefits both of us."

(End of this chapter)