Harvard Emotional Intelligence Class

Chapter 8 IQ is important, EQ is even more important (3)
Haw looked at his friend, who looked a little haggard with hunger and depression, and tried to make sense of his analysis.However, Heng Heng's fear had already turned into anger, and he couldn't listen to anything.Haw didn't want to offend his friends, but he couldn't help laughing at themselves, because now they looked really messed up and stupid.When Haw was about to go, he felt that his whole body became full of vitality, he puffed up his chest, and his spirit began to cheer up: "Let's go." Before Haw left, he picked up a A small sharp stone, a sincere sentence written on the wall, left for Hem to think about.He hadn't forgotten his habit of drawing cheese around the words.Haw hopes that the painting will give Hem a glimmer of hope, that it will inspire him, and prompt him to get up and find new cheese.The words on the wall are: If you don't change, you will be eliminated.After leaving his words on the wall, Haw poked his head out and looked carefully into the maze, recalling the route he had traveled before arriving at Cheese Station C.He had thought that maybe there was no more cheese in the maze, or maybe he would never find it.This pessimism had been so deeply rooted in him that it almost destroyed him.Thinking of this, Haw smiled knowingly.He knew that Hem must still be upset right now: "Who moved my cheese?" But what Haw was thinking at the moment was: "Why didn't I act sooner and follow the cheese?" When Haw finally walked out When Cheese Station C stepped into the dark labyrinth, he couldn't help looking back at the place that had been with him and Hum for a long time.At that moment, he could hardly control himself, and wanted to go back to that familiar place, and wanted to hide in that complete place even though there was no cheese.

Haw became a little worried again, not sure if he really wanted to enter the maze.After a while, he picked up the stone and wrote a sentence on the wall in front of him, staring at it for a long time: If you were not afraid, what would you do?Sometimes it pays to be intimidated.When you fear that not doing something will make things worse, fear can motivate you to take action instead.But when you're too scared to take any action, fear can become the biggest obstacle in your path.Haw looked to the right side of the maze, feeling terrified because he had never been there before.Then, he took a deep breath, and slowly ran towards the right side of the maze, towards the unknown territory.He knew he needed to make quicker adjustments.Because, if you can't adjust yourself in time, you may never find your own cheese. ★
We've all been so afraid of change that we all really hope that life can continue as it has always been.However, the changes in the world do not allow us to stay where we are, let alone develop towards our beautiful ideals.Only by realizing early that life will not develop in accordance with someone’s wishes, that changes may come at any time, and that positively facing changes will allow you to discover better cheese, is really a blessing in disguise.

When we observe the behavior of the four characters in the story, we realize that the mouse and the dwarf actually represent different aspects of ourselves—simple and complex.When things change, perhaps doing things simply will bring us many conveniences and benefits.Some fears need to be taken seriously to help you avoid real danger.But the vast majority of fears are unwise, they just keep you from changing when you need it.

It must also be acknowledged that the biggest limiting factor preventing you from changing is yourself.Things start to get better only when you change yourself.Best of all, there's always new cheese somewhere, whether you're aware of it or not.Only when you overcome your fearful thoughts and dare to step out of the life you have been accustomed to to enjoy the joy of adventure will you be rewarded and rewarded by the new cheese.

3.Learning to Change Thoughts in Adversity in a Crisis Society
There is a story about Joseph in the Old Testament.

★A person who does not bow to adversity
Joseph is a man who can bring out his best in any environment.Of course, it's all in adversity.He was sold to Egypt by his siblings at the age of 17. Anyone who is in the same situation will inevitably feel sorry for himself and resent the person who betrayed and enslaved him.But Joseph didn't think so. He focused on self-cultivation, and soon became the head of the master's house, in charge of all the properties, and was highly relied on.Relying on his good psychological quality to overcome bad luck.But his cleverness and wisdom were envied by others.Soon, bad luck came to him again.Without any evidence, he was framed and wrongfully imprisoned for 13 years, but he still did not change his mind and turned resentment into motivation for improvement.Before long, the whole prison was under his management.After he was released from prison, his talents were brought into greater play.In the end, he mastered the whole of Egypt and became a great man under Pharaoh and above ten thousand people. ★
There are many such successes:
★A person who seizes opportunities in adversity

Horace Greeley, who came to New York as a penniless printer, later became the founder of the weekly New Yorker and the New York Tribune, which had great influence on Americans.Elihu Burritt, a native of Connecticut, was known as "the learned blacksmith."He started a self-study plan in his spare time when blacksmithing, and finally became a linguist, writer and mathematician.One of his diaries often looks like this: "Tuesday, June 6, 19 lines in Hebrew, 60 lines in Danish, 30 lines in Bohemia, 10 lines in Polish, 9 names of stars, 15 hours of blacksmithing. "Michael Faraday: Arguably the greatest experimental physicist, he lived as a boy in a stable somewhere in London and rented newspapers for a living.During his apprenticeship as a bookbinder, he learned about electricity from the Encyclopedia Britannica and started his own laboratory.Sir Humphrey Davy later took on Faraday as his assistant, giving him access to some of the greatest scientific minds of the time, making him a famous scientist. ★
This kind of opportunity and behavior is indeed beyond the reach of ordinary people, but everyone can take responsibility for their own lives and create a favorable environment for themselves, instead of waiting for good or bad luck to come.When bad luck really comes, we must maintain a positive attitude and not be intimidated by the temporary difficulties in front of us.Another way of thinking, maybe your world will open another window.

In many cases, we are often unable to change our mindset, especially when we are in trouble, some people always blame others, one-sidedly emphasize the external environment and objective conditions, while ignoring self-factors and subjective initiative.These people believe that their circumstances are beyond their control.In fact, our situation is not the surrounding environment but our own creation.In the end, it's up to us to decide.However, there is a deep-rooted misconception that success depends on some kind of genius and external conditions.It usually manifests itself as: "If only I had...".However, the elements of success are largely in our own hands, and the success or failure of life is greatly restricted by mentality.How we treat life is how life treats us.How we treat others is how others treat us.The state of mind we have at the beginning of a task determines how successful it will be in the end.The biggest difference between the loser and the winner is: the loser looks for reasons, the winner finds a way; the loser evades and shirks responsibility, the winner dares to take responsibility; Foresight; the losers are pessimistic and decadent in adversity, and the successful are striving for strength in adversity.According to psychologists, 99% of the things we complain about lead to negative emotions.Therefore, the key to overcoming negative mentality is not to complain, to cut off the "roots" completely, to be responsible and active, and to say to yourself loudly: "I am responsible, and I take full responsibility; I am active, and I focus on the next." What should I do next?"

On the road of our life, it is impossible to always have smooth weather all the way, and the development of any enterprise unit is also a difficult journey.Anyone who is familiar with Konka's development process knows that Konka's development and rise have not been smooth sailing.The key to Konka's ability to overcome various difficulties and cope with various challenges and risks is that the company's leaders and employees work together as one, fully see and play their own advantages, and maximize their strengths and avoid weaknesses.In fact, even the most powerful competitors are not invulnerable and invincible.Any strong enterprise has gone through a tortuous process from small to large and from weak to strong.Konka Group is currently in a period of strategic transformation and has encountered unprecedented difficulties.Konka mobile phones are facing fierce competition from domestic and foreign brands such as Motorola, Nokia, Siemens, Samsung, TCL, Bird, Kejian and Haier.In this case, the subjective factors of Konka mobile phone marketers, their enthusiasm and creativity, and their morale play a key role.How to solve difficulties in the face of difficulties is important, and more importantly, what kind of mentality you have in the face of difficulties.

★Let me know how to live in the future
A remote town in France, rumored to have a particularly efficacious in a spring of water, often there will be miracles, which can cure various diseases.One day, a veteran who was on crutches and lost a leg limped through the road in the town. The townspeople next to him said in a sympathetic tone: "Poor guy, does he want to pray to God?" Have another leg?" This sentence was heard by the veterans, and he turned to them and said, "I don't want to pray to God to have a new leg, but to ask God to help me so that I don't have a leg. After that, I also know how to live."★
Just imagine, learn to be grateful for what you have lost, accept the fact that you have lost, no matter what you gain or lose in life, always make your life full of beauty and brilliance, stop crying for the past, and work hard to live out your own life. Is not the gift of a man worth more than a leg?Physical disability is terrible, but mental disability is the real trump card and fatal injury in your life.In the face of failure, if our judgment is: "The external environment is the crux of the problem", this kind of thinking is not only wrong, but also the root of the problem.If you can't turn your back on yourself and blindly hope that the external environment will change to achieve your personal wishes, it is tantamount to letting others manipulate you.The correct approach should be to change individual behavior first, to be a more fulfilling, hardworking, creative, and cooperative person, and then to affect the environment.

(Section [-] Excellence in Different Fields - EQ Stars

IQ is the least predictive of career success for some people who are brilliant enough to thrive in the fields that require the most cognitive abilities.In many fields, whether a person can emerge and become a leader, emotional intelligence plays a much greater role than IQ.Researchers conducted in-depth interviews using the methodology proposed by McClelland to understand the abilities of working stars in all walks of life and to understand the huge role of emotional intelligence.

★Two programmers
Two computer programmers described their work.They design programs for users to meet the immediate needs of the business.A designer said: "I heard from a client that what he needs is to put all the data on one page, and the operating format of the program should be simple." Therefore, he followed the client's request and designed it from the perspective of meeting the client's needs. .

And another programmer seemed to think that was too much trouble.Regardless of the user's requirements, he emphasized in terminology: "The programming speed of the basic language of HP3000/30 is too slow. I use machine language to program directly." In a word, he pays attention to machines, not people.

It turns out that the first programmer did a great job at his job and designed a program that satisfied his customers; the second programmer did a mediocre job and actually drove away his customers.The first designer displayed his emotional intelligence, the other was a poster child for low emotional intelligence.

People with high emotional intelligence are more popular

The story of two students at Yale University happened.One student named Penn was brilliant and creative.But Payne's problem was that he knew he was a genius, and he turned out to be, as one professor put it, "incredibly arrogant."Despite his quick wit, he was annoying, especially disliked by his classmates.However, Payne's test scores are still among the best in all subjects.When he graduated, he was in demand, and all the big companies in his field of study offered him interviews.At least from his profile, he should be the company's first choice.However, Payne's arrogance is palpable.In the end, he could only get a job in a second-rate company.

Another student named Matt, the same major as Payne.He wasn't as top-notch academically as Payne, but he was a good people guy, and the people he worked with liked him.After eight interviews, seven companies decided to hire him.

Two years later, Payne lost his first job, while Matt was enjoying a successful career. ★
Payne is typical of a low EQ, while Matt has a high EQ.Combining high emotional intelligence with cognitive ability can produce a multiplier effect.The best people at work are often a combination of both.The more complex the job, the greater the impact of emotional intelligence.A lack of emotional intelligence prevents people from using their technical expertise.The quality of your studies only reflects a basic ability, which you need to enter a certain field.But this kind of academic ability does not make people a star or a master. Emotional intelligence plays a decisive role in people's extraordinary achievements.

★You, stand—stand up

It happened on a very unusual day.It was Super Bowl Sunday, and most American men were sitting in front of the TV watching the game.On the same day, a flight from New York to Detroit was delayed for two hours, and the anxiety and irritability of the passengers were clearly visible.In the end, the plane finally arrived in Detroit, but it somehow stopped about 300 meters away from the passage door.The passengers, already nervous about the delay, all stood up.

At this time, a flight attendant walked into the cabin.How was she going to get the passengers to sit down so the plane could taxi to the aisle door?
More often than not, the flight attendant solemnly announced to everyone: "Federal Aviation Regulations state that you must sit in your seat until the aircraft taxis to the aisle door."

Not so with this flight attendant, however.Just listen to her admonishing a mischievous but very cute child in a sweet voice: "You, stand up - stand up!"

Everyone laughed at this and sat back in their seats until the plane taxied to the aisle.In a calm atmosphere, the passengers disembarked the plane with ease. ★
The big difference in this ability is the difference between intelligence and emotion, or more technically, the difference between cognitive ability and emotional ability.All emotional abilities are more or less related to some kind of skill in the sensory domain, working together with cognitive abilities.This is quite different from purely cognitive abilities.Computers can be programmed to perform cognitive abilities as well as humans, and a digital voice can announce, "Federal aviation regulations state that you must remain in your seat until the aircraft taxis to the aisle door." But the computer's The voice is unnatural and never produces the artistic effect of the flight attendant's banter.People are generally reluctant to follow the instructions of the robot, and the flight attendants have successfully transferred people's emotions and avoided accidents.She hits emotional notes with an accuracy that human cognitive abilities alone cannot.

★Sam's request
, Crossing the road in the town, the townspeople next to them brought their sympathetic talents into full play. Sam is 70 years old, and he can still take care of himself, including handling details of life such as bank deposits.It's a pity that his voice is so high-pitched and serious that it's a bit unacceptable.

One Monday morning, Sam went to the bank to withdraw money, and he asked the teller to draw cash from his credit card.The teller told Sam aloud (the teller guessed that Sam was deaf because he was hard to hear) that she didn't understand Sam and that Sam's credit card had expired.After hearing this, Sam yelled at the teller: "I need $50 in cash." Everyone in the bank, including the security guards, saw and heard the whole process.Both Sam and the teller were angry, and Sam was especially embarrassed.

A customer behind Sam in line went to see the manager and calmly explained what had happened.The manager came over and calmly invited Sam to the manager's office to listen to what Sam had to say.A few minutes later, Sam was explaining his request to the teller with a broad smile on his face.The teller turned around and politely apologized to the other customers for wasting their time. ★
From this point of view, once everyone started using EQ, things went back to normal.

★Choose the right day to show the movie
Suppose such a dilemma: you are a cultural counselor at the US embassy in a certain country in North Africa, and Washington calls to instruct you to play a movie.In the requested video, some American politicians were mobbed and abused in the country.If the film is shown, local residents will feel attacked and accused; if it is not shown, State Department officials will be dissatisfied.

How to do?
This is not a fictional situation.Indeed, one diplomat faced this dilemma.The diplomat recalled: "I knew that if I had shown that movie the day before, 500 or more angry students would come and burn the embassy to the ground the next day, but officials in Washington thought the movie Very good, definitely. I have to think hard about how to show the movie: get the embassy to report to Washington that we have shown the movie as directed, without annoying the people in the host country."

What did the diplomat think of?He arranged for the film to be screened on a fast day, because he knew that no one from his country would come to see the film on that day. ★
This case exemplifies admirably high emotional intelligence, the combination of "technical expertise and experience."In addition to IQ, our daily life skills combined with our professional skills determine how we perform in our daily work life.No matter how strong our knowledge potential is, it is only professional knowledge. Only when professional knowledge and practical work ability are combined can we do specific work well.

(End of this chapter)