Be a Man and Do Things Pillow Book

Chapter 14 Be a person with a good attitude (1)
Learn to award yourself.

A young mother took her young son to practice walking at the door.When holding his mother's hand, the child boldly took a step forward, but when the mother took her hand away, he stood there and dared not take a step forward.The child's mother did not go to help him, but squatted not far in front and kept praising him: "The baby is really amazing, the baby will definitely be able to walk over..."

After a while, the child really stepped forward with his mother's encouragement, walked a few steps unsteadily, and then threw himself into his mother's arms.

"The baby is awesome." The young mother couldn't stop praising her son.The child "giggles" and laughs in the arms of its mother.

A few words of praise from a young mother can inspire the courage of such a young child. With the mother's praise and encouragement, the child will go further and further, so why not the adults?Why don't adults need praise?

Mark Twain said: "With just one compliment, I can live for three months." Everyone is eager to be praised by others, and praise is a kind of affirmation and a compliment.When we hear praise from our leaders at work, we will be particularly motivated to work; when we hear praise from our friends in life, we will be in a good mood for several days.

Praise is like the sunshine that shines on people's hearts. It can give people strength. Without sunshine, we cannot develop and grow normally.Praise can give people confidence, without confidence, the big boat of life cannot sail to a further harbor.

After all, it is not as easy to crave the praise of others as to praise yourself.Since we need praise, since praise can take us to a higher level and urge us to forge ahead, let us learn to praise ourselves!When you get a good grade in an exam or write a good article, you might as well praise yourself a few words, applaud yourself, and applaud yourself.No!You don’t need to speak out, you don’t need anyone to share, just a knowing smile, just a little fluctuation in your heart, then you can experience the joy of success. This is not only an appreciation and affirmation of yourself, but also The pursuit and hope for the future is to raise the sailboat of life again with confidence.No!It's not narcissism either.Leave a little time for yourself in the shuttle-like life, don't touch it with your hands, don't look at it with your eyes, just feel it with your heart, appreciate a real self, success is the embodiment of your own value.As long as that moment, you can see the bright future and see the beauty of the world.

A young boy who loves baseball gets a new pair of bats for his birthday.Excited, he rushed out of the house, yelling, "I'm the best baseball player in the world!" He threw the ball high into the sky, raised the bat and hit the ball, but missed.He picked up the ball for the second time without hesitation, and shouted challengingly: "I am the best baseball player in the world!" This time he hit more vigorously, but he missed and fell instead. , scratched the skin.The boy stood up for the third time and hit the ball again.This time the aim was even worse, and even the ball was lost.He looked at the bat and said, "Hey, you know what, I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"

Later, the boy really became a rare sharp hitter in the history of baseball.

It is my own praise that gives the little boy strength, and it is the praise that makes the little boy's dream come true.Maybe one day, we will be able to reach the pinnacle of success like a little boy. At that time, looking back today, we will see that on the road leading to the Arc de Triomphe, besides footprints, sweat, and tears, there are post stations one by one, which are our own. praise.Maybe one day you will win countless flowers and applause, but you will find that only your own praise is the most beautiful and true!
Therefore, Carnegie, a master of successful motivational studies, believes that: only one person can cure your anxiety, and that is yourself.

Walk the single-plank bridge of the soul.

Fromm is a famous American psychologist.One day, several students asked him: What kind of influence does mentality have on a person?
He smiled and led them into a dark room without saying anything.Under his guidance, the students quickly walked through this mysterious room that could not be seen.Then Fromm turned on a lamp in the room. Under the dim light like candles, the students could see the layout of the room clearly, and they couldn't help breaking out in a cold sweat.It turned out that the ground of this house was a very deep and large pool. There were various poisonous snakes wriggling in the pool, including a boa constrictor and three cobras. Several poisonous snakes were holding their heads high and spitting at them. With the letter.Just above the snake pool, there is a very narrow wooden bridge. They just walked over this wooden bridge.

Fromm looked at them and asked: "Now, are you willing to walk across this bridge again?" Everyone looked at me and I looked at you, but they were silent.

After a while, finally three students stood up hesitantly.As soon as one of the students got on the bridge, he moved his feet very carefully, and the speed was many times slower than the first time; the other student stepped on the small wooden bridge tremblingly, shaking involuntarily. I couldn't stop; the third student simply bent over and slowly crawled across the small bridge.

"Crack", Fromm turned on several other lights in the room, and the strong light suddenly illuminated the whole room like daytime.The students rubbed their eyes and looked carefully, only to find that there is a safety net under the small wooden bridge, but because the color of the net cable is dim, they didn't see it just now.Fromm asked loudly, "Who else among you would like to cross this little bridge now?"

The students were silent. "Why don't you want to?" Fromm asked. "Is the quality of this safety net reliable?" the student asked with lingering fear.

Fromm smiled: "I can answer your questions. This bridge is not difficult to walk, but the poisonous snake under the bridge has caused a psychological deterrent to you, so you lost your peace of mind, confused, and panicked." Showing various degrees of timidity certainly has an effect on behaviour."

In fact, why is life not like this?In the face of various challenges, perhaps the reason for failure is not because of weak power, low intelligence, or failure to analyze the whole situation thoroughly, but because the difficulties are seen too clearly, analyzed too thoroughly, and considered too much. If you are detailed, you will be intimidated by difficulties and struggle.Those who do not fully see the difficulties are more able to move forward.

If we can forget the background, ignore the danger, and concentrate on walking the road under our feet when we pass the single-plank bridge of the soul, maybe we can reach the destination easily and happily.

Stars can also be found in the desert.

During World War II, a woman named Mary was stationed in Egypt in North Africa with her husband, an officer, and lived in a camp near the desert. The conditions in the barracks were very poor.

The wooden house they live in is always hot and stuffy, and the temperature in even a shady place is above 30 degrees, and the strong wind is always blowing sandy soil.There were few family members in the barracks, and all the aborigines who didn't understand English lived around them. Life was colorless and life was hard.

And her husband often has to go out to perform various tasks, which makes Mary, who is alone at home, always feel very lonely.She wrote to her father who was far away in the motherland to confide, somewhat revealing that she wanted to go home.The father's reply was received soon, and there was a sentence in the letter: "Two criminals looked out of the window from the prison. One saw the high walls and bars, and the other saw the moon and stars."

Mary took her father's letter and read it again and again, and after thinking about it, she felt that what her father said was right. "Okay," she pulled herself together, "I'll go find the stars and the moon." So she went outside, befriended the neighboring black Natives, and asked them to teach her how to cook local food and make pottery out of clay .The communication was difficult at the beginning, but they soon accepted her enthusiastically, and Mary also began to integrate into the life of the local people, and gradually became fascinated by the customs and customs here.Not long after, Mary also began to study the desert that had made her extremely bored.Soon, the desert became a magical and fascinating place in her eyes.She often asked indigenous friends to guide her way into the depths of the desert, listened to the locals talk about the characteristics of the desert, and asked her relatives and friends in London to send her all the books about the desert that she could find at that time, and she read them carefully.And she also wrote down the bits and pieces of knowledge she acquired about the desert in her diary, so her life became full, even a little busy.

After the end of the Second World War, due to the continuous discovery of oil in the desert areas of the Middle East and Africa, people's knowledge and interest in the desert increased greatly. With her knowledge, Mary became a well-known desert expert in this island country.

Decades later, when Mary was asked about her career success, she told the story of the moon and the stars.She said: "It was my father who taught me the attitude towards life. This attitude is the source of my career and it will benefit me for life."

Yes, Ms. Mary has found her "star". Not only is she no longer sighing, but she has also achieved great success.What about us?What kind of revelation should we get?

Perhaps the greatest enlightenment is that don't be afraid of loneliness and distress, as long as we can correct our mentality, we will be able to overcome them, and we can find our own stars in the desert.

People need some selfless spirit.

Do you always focus on "I" in your life?When arguing with others, do you think you are right, and are you not willing to accept criticism from others?When you encounter setbacks and failures, do you always complain about bad luck, that God is unfair to "me"?

There is nothing wrong with caring about and valuing yourself in life, but everything is too much. Too much self-importance will make people self-willed and lose many valuable things in life, such as friendship and personality.Forgetting "I" can make the sky clear.Not fighting for or grabbing good things, putting others first, this is a kind of forgetting "self"; facing difficulties, not pushing or giving way, this is also a kind of forgetting "self".Forgetting "I" can show the nobility of personality, which is the true qualities of a hero.Only by forgetting "I" can we gain the respect of others and the recognition of the society, and only then can the sky of the soul be clear.

Chaplin is a world-renowned comedy master.Once when he talked about his successful experience, he told people that his acting talent is not much higher than others. On the contrary, there are many actors who are more talented than him, but he has two things that other people can't match.First, he can show his personality on stage.He is a performer and understands human nature.His every gesture, every tone of voice is carefully considered.Second, he is genuinely interested in others and puts others first.He said that many performers face the audience and always say to themselves: "Well, those people sitting down there are a bunch of idiots, a bunch of idiots, and I can make them laugh." But he said to himself: "I'm very I am grateful, because these people come to see my performance. They enable me to live a very comfortable life, and I want to show them my best skills." Chaplin said that every time he took the stage, he would Forget about yourself, devote yourself wholeheartedly, and say to yourself "I love the audience, I love the audience" over and over again.It is precisely because he can consider the audience everywhere that he can win the applause of the audience.The most exciting time of any performance is when the actor forgets "I", and the same is true for the drama of life.

People who forget "I" are willing to be behind-the-scenes heroes, willing to be unsung heroes. In the middle of the 19th century, the American industrialist Field led his staff to connect the two continents of Europe and America with submarine cables. For this reason, he became the most respected person in the United States at that time, and was known as the "unifier of the two worlds".But this is the kind of person who insisted not to go to the VIP platform when the connection ceremony was held, but only stood in the crowd to watch from a distance.

People who forget "I" can win the approval of leaders without pushing or giving way at work; they can win peace without fighting or grabbing interests; they can win ultimate success without being humble or overbearing in setbacks; can win a good life.

Forgetting "I" is not losing "I", not being selfless, not blindly "letting go", nor is it an unprincipled retreat.Forgetting "I" is a kind of high moral integrity, a kind of self-cultivation, and a kind of virtue.

Make your own choices.

Success or failure in life depends entirely on your choices.People with strong willpower can stick to their own choices when encountering any difficulties and obstacles, and find ways to overcome difficulties and eliminate obstacles.

There was such a man whose father was a gambler and whose mother was an alcoholic.Under such circumstances, he failed in his studies, and soon he left school and became a street gangster.Until he was 20 years old, an accidental event stimulated him and made him wake up and reflect: "No, you can't do this. If this continues, won't it be the same as your parents? What you bring to everyone and what you leave for yourself It’s not about suffering, I must succeed.”

He made up his mind to take a completely different path from his parents and live his own life.But what to do?He thought for a long time that it was almost impossible to find a white-collar job.Doing business without capital... He thought that being an actor does not require a clear name in the past, a diploma, let alone capital, but once successful, he can gain both fame and fortune.But he obviously doesn't have the qualifications of an actor, his appearance can hardly make people confident, and he has not received any professional training, experience, or "talent".However, the driving force of "must succeed" made him think that this is his only chance to succeed in this life, and that final success is possible.Never give up until you succeed.

So, he came to Hollywood, looking for stars, directors, producers... looking for anyone who could make him an actor, and begged everywhere: "Give me a chance, I want to be an actor, I will definitely succeed."

Naturally, he was rejected time and time again.But he was not discouraged, he knew that there must be a reason for failure.After every rejection, he took it as a learning experience.He must be successful, he never changed his infatuation, and went to find someone again...Unfortunately, two years passed, and the money ran out, so he worked in Hollywood and did some heavy odd jobs. In the past two years, he suffered more than 1000 times reject.

He wept secretly, crying bitterly.Is there really no hope? Could it be that the son of a gambler or an alcoholic can only be a gambler or an alcoholic?Of course not, I must persevere, I want to succeed.He thought of trying another way.He came up with a "roundabout" idea: write the script first, and then ask to be an actor after the script is approved by the director.Fortunately, he is no longer the layman he was when he first came here. He has been exposed to it for more than two years, and every rejection is a word of mouth, a study, and an improvement.Therefore, he already has the basics of writing screenplays.

A year later, the script was written, and he used it to interview all the directors, "How about this script, let me be the leading actor." But people think his script is very good, but it is not right to let him be the leading actor. Possibly, he was rejected again.

He kept saying to himself: "I must succeed, maybe next time, next time, next time..."

One day after he received more than 300 rejections, a director who had rejected him more than 20 times said to him: "I don't know if you can act well, but at least your spirit moves me. I can I'll give you a chance, but I'm going to change your script into a TV series, first shoot only one episode, let you be the leading actor, and see the effect. If the effect is not good, then you can cut off this idea from now on."

For this moment, he has been preparing for more than three years, and he can finally try his skills.The opportunity did not come easily, so he naturally tried his best and devoted himself to it.

This TV series set a record for the highest ratings in the United States at that time. He succeeded.

Now, this person is the world's top movie superstar, and he is the familiar Stallone.

No matter what a person does, he must believe in and stick to his own choice. Once he has made up his mind, he will not back down and try his best to move forward, even if he encounters thousands of difficulties, he will not shrink back.If you have the determination to never give up until you reach your goal, you will not be afraid of sacrifice, overcome all difficulties, strive for victory, and drive away all hesitation and timidity.With firm resolve, the enemy of success has nowhere to hide.

Only when a person has determination can he overcome all kinds of difficulties and win victories, and only in this way can he be admired by people.Therefore, a determined person must be an ultimate winner.Only determination can enhance confidence and give full play to one's talents, so as to make great achievements in career.

Life is like this, isn't it the same every day in our lives?Let us believe and master every choice in our own life, and believe that it will be a beautiful life.

Treat difficulties as turning points in life.

When encountering difficulties, some people will fall into a state of fear, while others will use this opportunity to succeed.This difference is the decisive difference that improves life.

A college student in Denmark once traveled to the United States.He went to Washington first, and stayed at the Wheeler Hotel, where the accommodation had been paid in advance.The plane ticket to Chicago is in the jacket pocket, and the passport and cash are in the wallet in the trouser pocket.When he was about to go to bed, he found that the wallet was missing, and immediately went downstairs to tell the hotel manager.

"We'll do our best to find it," said the manager.

The next morning, the purse was still missing.He was alone in a foreign land, at a loss.Calling a friend in Chicago for help?Report lost passport to embassy?Sitting at the police station waiting for news?

Suddenly, he told himself: "I'm going to see Washington. I may not have the opportunity to come again, today is very precious. After all, I still have a plane ticket to Chicago tonight, and a lot of time to deal with money and passport issues. I can take a walk, Now is a happy time, I am still the same as I was before I lost my wallet yesterday. I should be happy when I come to America and enjoy a day in the big city. Don't waste time on the unpleasantness of losing my wallet."

(End of this chapter)