Be a Man and Do Things Pillow Book

Chapter 13 Be a person with your own personality (3)
"A Brief History of Time: From the Big Bang to the Black Hole" is a popular science book that sells well all over the world. Its author, Stephen Hawking, is a disabled person. It is such a disabled person who is recognized by the scientific community as the greatest theoretical physicist after Einstein.Everyone who is lucky enough to meet him will have respect from the bottom of his heart for such a soul among human beings.Hawking was diagnosed with incurable motor neuropathy at the age of 21.The doctor asserted that he could only live for two and a half years, and he shattered the doctor's prediction with his persistence and firmness.He had been elected to the Royal Society of London, and was appointed Lucasian Professor of Mathematics, an honorary position once held by Newton.This is an epoch-making hero.His greatness lies in the greatness of his work character. His fortitude makes him despise the pain of his body, persistently pursues his dream and success, and inspires his great courage and willpower.Those who dare to challenge and fight tenaciously will be invincible. For those who are indomitable, the world belongs to them.

Physical disability is a fate that cannot be changed, but we can create success and happiness in life. If a person is strong, brave, confident, tolerant, and humble, he has more chances of success than those who are cowardly, inferior, selfish, and arrogant. Probably much larger.Carnegie has a famous statement: 85% of a person's success is due to character, and 15% is due to knowledge.The factors that play a decisive role in a person's success are character, will, emotion and non-intellectual factors, not intellectual knowledge.A professor at Stanford University in the United States has tracked and studied more than 1000 gifted children with IQs above 1 for decades.In the study, he compared the 0 most accomplished of these individuals with the 150 least accomplished.They are almost the same in intelligence, and the reason for their success is mainly due to the difference in personality characteristics: self-confidence or lack of self-confidence, no or low self-esteem, perseverance or inability to persevere, whether they have appropriate adaptability and motivation to achieve goals, etc.It can be seen that we ourselves are the masters of success, and our personality determines our destiny.

Personality is very malleable.The formation of a good personality is inseparable from individual subjective efforts.Forming a good personality requires us to start with small things, start now, and start from around us.If you think you don’t care enough about others, then when you see others encounter difficulties, take the initiative to extend your hand and help them as much as you can, so that you can gradually develop a helpful personality.No matter in study or life, you have to remind yourself to persevere in the face of difficulties and setbacks.Since he believes that it is something that should be done, he must make a resolute decision without hesitation. How can such a person not be resolute?Treat friends and classmates with tolerance, demand yourself with strictness, constantly sow the seeds of personality, and finally create the glory of life.

Self-discovery, master destiny.

Fate is in our own hands, and the miracle of life can only be created by ourselves. In the environment of natural selection, if we want to better control our own destiny, we must clearly understand our own personality, which is the most basic step.

Living on the same earth, some people are rich, some are poor, some are famous all over the world, and some are unknown, living an ordinary life.What determines all this?Could it be an arrangement made by fate in the dark?of course not.So, what is the reason?That is your personality.Your personality determines how you live, and therefore your success.

The impact of personality on life is mainly because personality determines whether you have the spirit of innovation and whether you can succeed in your career.

Each of us will form our own unique character after experiencing different times, events, and receiving different education and training.However, in different periods and in different environments, in order to meet the needs of development, individuals may also carry out conscious transformation of their personality, through self-study and self-cultivation, to develop towards what they think is a good personality.Its good or bad, good or bad, to a large extent determine a person's overall quality, determine whether a person can achieve considerable achievements.If a person does not suppress and perfect his own personality flaws through his own efforts, and does not carry out conscious "character transformation", then the failed personality will settle down and tend to be stereotyped, which will cause mistakes in his life and work. , and even lead to a failed life.

The novel "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" clearly shows the relationship between personal character defects and victory or defeat.Yuan Shao was "many but few important, easy to plan without making decisions", "externally lenient and internally taboo, employing people to doubt him", so he was defeated at Guandu; Guan Yunchang has a proud personality, "losing Jingzhou carelessly"; Zhang Fei was reckless by nature, and his head was beheaded by his subordinates Fan Jiang and Zhang Da; It is wrong to forgive yourself or forgive yourself, because the formation of personal character and quality is not only related to innateness, but also inseparable from acquired cultivation, and personality It is not fixed, but changes with the deepening of personal life experience, the maturity of thinking, the change of lifestyle and other specific situations.As the French materialist thinker Holbach said: Human personality is nothing but the product of the surrounding social environment and social practice, and it is constantly changing with the changes of various environments and social practices.Therefore, personality, in the final analysis, is the product of personal life, self-education and continuous practice.Therefore, paying attention to the cultivation of our own personality will help each of us to shape a successful personality, so as to better open up our own life path, open up our own career world, and realize the value of our own life.

People with different personalities have different views on the same thing.Facing a half glass of water, some people will see the full part and say that the glass is already half full; while others will see the part that is not full and say that the glass is still half full.

In fact, the happiness and distress of life do not depend on whether the things that happen to us are suffering or happiness, but on how we face these things and how strongly we feel them.Happiness is entirely created by ourselves. Our own personality and all the characteristics we possess are the most fundamental and direct factors for human happiness and happiness.The influence of personality factors cannot be eliminated, and other factors are indirect, so their influence can be eliminated.This explains why people's deep-rooted jealousy is difficult to get rid of, not only that, but people often hide their jealousy carefully.

In the life we ​​experience, consciousness and quality always occupy a permanent position.All other influences depend on chance.Opportunities are fleeting, fleeting, and unpredictable; but personality is at work in every moment of our lives.So Aristotle said: "It is not wealth but human character that lasts forever." We can tolerate the misfortune that comes completely from the outside world, but we cannot bear the suffering caused by our own personality: destiny can be changed, Personality is hard to change.But some good human qualities, such as a noble nature, a shrewd mind, a cheerful disposition, a cheerful spirit, and a sound and sound body, are, in short, the first elements of happiness.If you want to make your life wonderful and full of laughter, you have to cherish these good qualities.

Be uniquely yourself.

After we have done some personality exploration and understood the great influence of personality on personal destiny, there is no need to worry unnecessarily whether our personality will become a stumbling block to success.

There is a famous saying in "Confessions": "God made me and then broke the mold." That is to say, we have our own strengths and weaknesses from birth, and there is no uniform method that can work miracles for us.Only when we realize that we are unique, attend the same school, listen to the same teacher to teach the same course, but often get different grades, we are born with a different combination of characteristics from our brothers and sisters.Over the years, the people who live around us have shaped us, knives, hammers, sandpapers, and leathers.Just when we thought we were finished, other people started reinventing us.In the process of interacting with others, we constantly make self-adjustments, trying to make our words and deeds be praised by others instead of being criticized and ridiculed.But no matter how hard we try, or how hard we try to transform our personality, we cannot please everyone around us, and it is inevitable to be left out and ignored sometimes.

Our own temperamental traits are largely innate, our own composite materials, like each of a certain kind of rock.Some of us are granite, some marble, some alabaster, some sandstone.The type of rock cannot be changed, but the shape can be chosen, and so is our personality.We have a set of innate traits, some of which are perfected by embellishments of gold, while others are marred by faults.Our environment, IQ, ethnicity, economic circumstances, and parental influences all shape our character, but the inner essence is hard to change.

Living out the "true self" is very important for a person's life.Only in this way can we accept any challenge with confidence and face life with confidence, and self-confidence itself means that half the battle has been achieved. Therefore, paying attention to the "true self" will become a great asset on the road to success.

The secret of personality development.

Although people's natural personality is very stable, it is not unchangeable. As long as there is enough perseverance and confidence, everyone can cultivate their own good personality.If the theory of personality survival allows us to know ourselves so clearly for the first time and deeply realize that our destiny is actually in our own hands, then at the same time, we must also find the best way to cultivate our outstanding personality, so that all of us Everything we do is not on paper, but practical in real life.

Personality shaping is not about melting people's personalities into a mold to form a template so that everyone is exactly the same.On the contrary, we want to put forward the basic points and common points of people's personalities, and after people know themselves and understand their own personalities, they can improve and enhance their own personalities.

What we can do is to help you lay the foundation of a good personality and help you build an excellent personality structure. The rest is up to you to perfect in your life and work.

No matter what the situation is, you should have a positive attitude.This mindset is made up of "positive" character factors such as "confidence," "integrity," "hope," "optimism," "courage," "aggressiveness," "generosity," "patience," "tact," "kindness," and "a good deal of common sense." And so on.

So for you to see the difference, let's compare, let's look at what negativity can do.Negativity dampens your enthusiasm, confines your imagination, reduces your willingness to cooperate, causes you to lose self-control, irritability, impatience, and irrationality.

Negativity can be so destructive to you that it's best to stay at home and not come out and meet people.Negativity only makes enemies for you and destroys your achievements and divides your friends.

A positive attitude will open doors for you and give you opportunities to show off your skills and ambition.

A positive attitude is also a building block of various other personalities, and understanding and applying other personalities will strengthen your positive attitude.

It is not enough to have a positive attitude, we also need firm confidence.

Someone asked Pele: "Which is your favorite goal?" Pele said optimistically and confidently: "The next one." , kicked more exciting goals than the last, and became the "Prince of the Stadium" known both at home and abroad.It can be seen that optimism and self-confidence can enable people to set higher goals, overcome huge difficulties, and achieve final victory, so Emerson said: "Confidence is the first secret of success." Marie Curie also said: " We must have perseverance, we must have perseverance, and more importantly, we must have self-confidence."

The discovery of countless natural science secrets is driven by optimism and self-confidence. Many major inventions are inseparable from this persistence and courage. Get up again after you fall, and try again after you fail. The scripts are up to you to write them yourself.

When the famous Wright brothers first flew, they were ridiculed as whimsical.But the Wright brothers said with confidence: "Even if the dream of heaven is always a dream, we must leave the earth like birds in our dreams and fly in the blue sky."

Tried again and again, failed again and again, the patience of the Wright Brothers was tested to the extreme.When they saw the aircraft was smashed again just after leaving the ground, the Wright brothers couldn't bear it anymore, and shed tears in front of people who ridiculed their aircraft as "a stupid duck that can never fly".But when they wiped their tears with their hands, they said at the same time: "Brother, let's wipe the tears and do it again. I think we will succeed in the end."

Finally, the aircraft left the ground smoothly.Although it was only a few tens of seconds, the dream of human beings flying in the sky like birds has become a tangible reality.From this moment on, humans no longer envy the freedom of birds.

The laws of shaping a successful personality.

What is the best trick for a successful personality?That is, when these people act, they always seem to have the following idea: they are convinced that they must be popular with everyone.Because of this, they act as if they are really welcome.

A likable person is someone who not only likes anyone, but also can deal with anyone with grace.Except for those in a special situation, most people want to make close friends instead of being a loner, because most people have the need to belong.If a person is always worried that the other party may not want to make friends with him, then he may not be liked by anyone.Therefore, believing that the other party will like you is the rule of shaping a successful personality. As long as you are friendly to the other party first, you can usually get the same friendliness from the other party.

However, if you are too hasty in obtaining the other party's recognition, the other party will keep you at a distance.Also, it sometimes happens that the more attractive a person is, the more annoying he is.

For example, doing a good job in interpersonal relationship is a deep knowledge and an art.If you want to get close to the other party with too much enthusiasm and persistence, and if you keep trying to please the other party, the other party sometimes feels awkward or suspects whether you are putting on an act.If you give the other party the impression that you want to get close to the other party no matter what, and thus show restlessness, the other party will easily become wary of you.Those who are eager to seek friendship are bound to hit a wall.Because they are always worried that the other party doesn't like them, or they dare not do what they expect, they are always worried that the other party will dislike them, and these worries and doubts can always be felt by the other party.So, it is best to build relationships with others in a relaxed and cheerful atmosphere, in a good mood, with a smile on your face, and with confidence.

In addition, if you want to shape a successful personality, you must know how to be flexible in the process of interpersonal communication and gain insight into the other party's mind.

In short, the differences in each person's personality will be expressed in various usual reactions and behaviors.For example, when they are also reprimanded, some people are discouraged, some people fly into a rage, some people show a cute smile, and some people feel that they have lost face.In addition, people vary in experience, knowledge, intelligence, and personality.Some people can adapt to the work quickly, and do it quite well, and the efficiency is also very high; some people can't understand the work, and the progress is slow; , You have to ask people about everything, which annoys the people around; some people are full of confidence in their work.Although there are thousands of differences among people as mentioned above, one thing is the same, that is, everyone believes that they "have unique characteristics".

Therefore, first of all, you must have a correct evaluation of yourself. If your evaluation of yourself is too high, other people will not only not buy you, but sometimes they will belittle you.Being arrogant is likely to be ridiculed by others.

Those who are good at dealing with people and achieve success, as well as those who are likable and get cooperation and help from others, are themselves often kind to others and can share weal and woe with everyone. The phrase "love others as you love yourself" is consistently advocated in religion and philosophy. It is undoubtedly applicable in any age and any country. Loving yourself is the basic tendency of human beings. This is what psychoanalysis advocates. of.But it is not so easy to transfer this love from oneself to others.

Fundamentally speaking, human beings do not exist alone in the world, but exist between human beings, and the practical significance of their existence can only be revealed when they are related to each other.

Men and women, young and old, live in interdependent relationships with others.So it is undoubtedly very pleasant to be friendly with everyone.

Therefore, we must recognize and respect the value of others. The recognition mentioned here is a more positive attitude to accept and get close to the people around us.

We can find things worthy of acknowledgment and criticism in everyone. People who are used to denying others can only see their shortcomings;The former who only focuses on the bad aspects of others can only discover the shortcomings and mistakes of others, while the latter who focuses on the worthy aspects of others can discover the advantages and strengths of the other person.Under the gentle gaze of this kind of "acknowledgment", people will gradually expose other aspects of themselves.Facing those who are willing to admit themselves, everyone is willing to redouble their efforts to get further recognition from the other party.

As the American success scientist Giblin said, everyone wants to be recognized by others.No special skill is required to satisfy this wish.The so-called recognition is to find something from the other party to affirm and praise.

(End of this chapter)