Be a Man and Do Things Pillow Book

Chapter 12 Be a person with your own personality (2)
Successful people have good character and will characteristics.They neither act recklessly, nor blindly agree, nor are they slumped because of difficulties and setbacks.They are good at observing the development and changes of things, and can promptly change or modify the implemented decisions according to the detailed changes of the situation and the objective needs.And those with negative will characteristics are timid, cowardly, easy to follow blindly, accept the influence of others without criticism, and easily change their original decision; or even if his approach is wrong, he is stubborn and indecisive when encountering difficulties Those who hold back or act recklessly regardless of the consequences are unlikely to succeed.

(3) Emotional characteristics of character.

People's emotional activities have different qualities.Some people have strong emotions and their activities are easily controlled by emotions, while some people have weak emotions and their activities are more affected by emotions.Some people are emotionally stable, while others are prone to emotional ups and downs, some people's emotional experience is longer-lasting, and some people's emotions are easily weakened or faded away.People's personality traits vary widely because of their emotional qualities.

People who can achieve self-restraint, behave calmly and steadily, and have an easy-going personality are generally emotionally stable.People often say that they are upright and confident, but some people are reasonable but not ostentatious, but can be "straightforward and peaceful".On the contrary, some people are prone to high or low mood, moody, hot and cold, a little bit of good news can make him dance and ecstatic, and a little bit of bad news can make him fly into a rage or be distraught.Due to a person's long-term maintenance, the dominant mood will gradually become a part of this personality.

An optimistic character can make happiness always accompany you, and optimism comes from a happy state of mind.If you want to enjoy happiness all the time, you must first have nothing to worry about, be at ease, and let go of whatever you encounter.When you have happiness and share it with others, you will have more happiness and be full of interest. Happiness will merge with your personality unconsciously and become a part of your personality.Possessing such good personality and emotional characteristics can not only make us study or work more efficiently, but also enable us to enjoy more sunshine in life.

(4) Intellectual features of character.

The rational characteristics of personality mainly refer to the behavioral patterns and attitude characteristics of people in the cognitive process of perception, memory, thinking, imagination and so on.

For example: when observing things, some people are careful and precise, and can maintain the independence of observation and judgment, while others are rough and vague, only see the details of things, and are easy to be suggested by others; in terms of memory, some people People are good at image memory, some people are good at abstract memory, some people are good at listing materials in memory, and some people are good at grasping materials as a whole; in terms of thinking, some people are comprehensive, profound, flexible and meticulous, and like to think independently. Some people are one-sided, superficial, careless, and like to borrow answers from others; in terms of imagination, some people are active, realistic, and able to connect with reality, while others are fanciful, divorced from reality, and are fantasists.

Personality styles vary from person to person.

Personality styles vary from person to person. Therefore, in a sense, shaping personality is not a step-by-step behavior. You must first have a clear understanding of yourself.Whether one is a man or a woman, young or old, famous and successful or poor and precarious, the personality style is evident.

Personality style is expressed by the way you convey information to the outside world, for example, your mantra, your body language, the speed of your speech, facial expressions, the way you dress, the way your office is laid out, the speed at which you walk etc.In addition, how close you are to your emotions, whether you are enthusiastic or reticent, how quickly you make decisions, how urgent you are to respond to change, etc., are also an expression of character.

There are countless ways of conveying information, but if you understand them and can interpret them, you will quickly recognize which of your behavior patterns and other people's behavior patterns.This way you will:

better understanding and control of oneself;

Work in a direction that will further improve your relationships with others;
Improve your work efficiency, improve your work ability, and expand your professional horizons.

In the following chapters, we will analyze people's character and personality one by one.But there are a few points that must be clearly understood.

First, these are some reference suggestions.We cannot say which of these characters and personality types is the best, or that one is superior to the other.All of these types have their pros and cons.

Second, learning to "read" other people's character and personality style will put you in a very favorable position in interpersonal communication.This is not to say that you will be able to sit back and manipulate them with ease, nor that you will be able to easily change your personality style, but it means that you will be able to read people's hearts and make them accept rather than guard against you.

Third, by understanding the four basic behavioral patterns, you can read and respond to the messages conveyed by their words and actions in hopes of reducing friction.But the most important point is that this ability will also help you introspect, why am I doing this, what am I doing.

Perspective personality classification.

First, let's understand the classification of personality.For personality, there are many classification methods, the most typical of which are four types of personality, namely lively type, perfect type, strength type and peaceful type.

First, the lively type.

People with a lively personality belong to the optimist, and their existence adds endless fun to the world.Its major advantages are optimistic, enthusiastic and cheerful, easy to mobilize emotions, and full of confidence.Generally speaking, the lively type belongs to the extroverted, outspoken, and optimistic group. Their emotions are usually written on their faces, and they never restrict their words and deeds too much, let alone deliberately conceal their inner emotions.The active personality makes lively people extraordinarily warm and cheerful towards others, and they never hesitate to smile. People of this type usually have a lot of friends who play and have fun together, but not all of them are close friends.Because for this group of hedonic people, there is no need to worry about the unhappiness that happened in the past, and there is no need to consider the uncertainties they will face in the future. What they care about is how to enjoy today's life, as long as they are happy.It is the nature of people with a lively personality to be naive and changeable, and to pursue novelty.It is also because of this that their emotions are easily mobilized, and they are usually the most active speakers in public. They will not overthink the consequences of their speeches, but want to express their true thoughts more, without too much Foresight.In the face of challenges, healthy and lively characters have enough confidence in reality and the prospects of things in the best state. In the process of struggle, they always spur themselves with a bright future instead of being discouraged by some difficulties. Pessimistic and disappointed about the future and finally choose to give up efforts.Healthy and lively characters are always in this state of being full of joy and actively facing life, thus radiating infinite vitality and appeal.

Of course, being too free-spirited also creates problems for lively characters.People with a lively personality usually lack vigorous behavior.Have a goal but don't want to put it into action right away.They follow their feelings and usually speak poorly, which makes people feel that they are full of nonsense.While talking with gusto, they seldom listen to the other person's point of view, because lively characters are self-centered and self-centered.Lively people's memory of wonderful plots exceeds the facts, such as the memory of important names, places, times, numbers, etc. beyond the facts.This often results in disorganized behavior and an impression of immaturity and unreliability.

Second, the perfect type.

People with perfect personality are generally introverted and pessimistic.They are serious, decent, polite, and contradictory. They are afraid that others will not care, and they are afraid that others will care too much. In short, they always feel that no matter what they do, they are not perfect and satisfactory.People who are strict with themselves, even harsh on themselves, have many advantages: they are well-mannered and orderly in life; they are thoughtful and talented;So they don't easily make friends with others, but once they become friends, they are lifelong bosom friends.In terms of emotion and family, perfect women are generally very good at housekeeping and know how to be diligent and thrifty. Although they are introverted, they have delicate feelings and take care of their lovers more considerately.A healthy perfect person is versatile and good at many things: knows multiple languages, can play multiple instruments, is quite outstanding in his professional field, and seems to have the whole world at his fingertips.So to a large extent, the perfect character is the most talented of all types of personality.

However, perfect characters usually live very unhappy, always feel that they are not doing enough to achieve the intended goals, although they have done a good job.Therefore, people with perfect personalities are prone to problems such as depression, self-indulgence, and procrastination.The perfect person cares about every word and every line, and at the same time thinks that others will also value it. Too many worries often focus on negative aspects and lead to depression.I always think that I should do my best, so I often feel uneasy in social situations and tend to become obscene.Just because they want to do everything perfectly and leave no regrets, many perfect people always feel that there is something wrong with them, which is why they seem not as relaxed and happy as others.

Third, strength type.

Powerful characters have many advantages: coordination, concentration, persistence, activeness, strong independence, and emphasis on value. Because of these advantages, powerful characters are often more likely to achieve great careers.Their appearance is very characteristic, their eyes are piercing, and their actions are fast, so they give people the impression that they are born leaders.Powerful people like to stick to their own opinions, and don't apologize even if they are wrong.Willing to issue orders rather than admit mistakes.The same is true of their emotional side, natural leaders, irritable temperament, emphasizing value, ignoring details, taking more actions, and difficulty relaxing. Once sick, it is a serious illness, emotionally fragile, usually consider others hastily, and give people a lack of compassion and impersonal feeling. .But they don't seem to care much about these, because power figures have strict requirements on others, but set very low standards on themselves. They are ambitious and always want to get the most power and the most benefits, and use this as their life. first goal.Powerful characters advocate strength, so they don't act emotionally, and have more objective evaluation criteria for right and wrong, which is an important quality of their leadership temperament.

Powerful people have two major shortcomings: one is that they are too competitive; the other is that they are determined to go their own way.It is the characteristics of people with this type of character to be victorious in any situation and try their best not to lose face, which is why they are unwilling to review their mistakes and improve themselves.Competitiveness makes them workaholics, and they don't know how to relax, which is not good for their long-term development.Powerful characters are sometimes very stubborn, thinking that they are always superior and that others have to obey their commands. This sense of superiority will cause psychological harm to others. Therefore, this kind of character is the biggest enemy of powerful characters.In order to better develop their potential and become an excellent leader, they must have a correct and clear understanding of their own personality, and only by making use of their strengths and avoiding their weaknesses can they achieve ultimate success.

Fourth, peaceful type.

People with a peaceful personality are generally introverted, happy to be bystanders, and belong to the pessimistic type.People with this personality have the following advantages: aloof from the world, easily satisfied, self-control and self-discipline, and patience.People with a peaceful personality live a peaceful life, and generally don’t like to do things that change their current lives. Fame, fortune, and status are not very attractive to them. Enjoying a peaceful life is their pursuit, because they believe in ordinary life. It's true, they are easy to satisfy and don't have much desire.He is very easy-going and friendly in dealing with people in life, he is also very patient in his work, and lives in harmony. This mentality is very beneficial to health.One of the important advantages of people with a peaceful personality is that they don't panic when things happen, they are able to control themselves, and they often do their work meticulously and perfectly.Even so, people with this personality are inconspicuous in the crowd. They seem to have no major shortcomings or advantages. They are calm and introverted, and sometimes they are forgotten by others.In the eyes of many people, peaceful characters have no fighting spirit, are not motivated, and are not conducive to personal development.Indeed, with a good attitude, you must have a goal in life, and you cannot live aimlessly, otherwise life will lose its positive meaning.

The peaceful personality has two major shortcomings: muddling along and not having a strong opinion.Muddling along because they haven't found the right tool to do the job perfectly, while peaceful people put off work because they simply don't want to do it. They usually like to keep silent, which saves them a lot of trouble and interrupts a lot of communication with others. beautiful relationship.The biggest shortcoming of peaceful people is that they have no independent opinions. This is not because they are incapable of making decisions, but because they are unwilling to be responsible for the consequences of their decisions and are afraid of taking responsibility.People with this type of personality cannot get great development, and it is difficult to become a great tool. This is something that people with a peaceful personality need to recognize and improve.

Individual survival is a mainstream.

With the advent of the new century, the modernization of the world we live in is becoming more and more intense. In this competitive society, people need to cultivate their own personalities to adapt to their roles, and in their own learning, work and life. A wonderful scene on the big stage.

Some people may think that as long as you have the ability, you will naturally be appreciated, and you can work and live well, and it doesn't matter whether you have personality or not.In fact, in the face of brutal competition, how to attract the attention of others is the key to gaining a competitive advantage. No personality usually means no chance of success.

If you are a leader but do not have your own personality, your subordinates will think that you are a mediocre person who has no independent opinions and will not accept your leadership; if you are a boss but do not have your own personality, your employees will think that you are the only one An incompetent fool will only lead the company to the brink of bankruptcy and will not work seriously in your company; if you are a civil servant but have no personality of your own, your boss will think that you cannot take on important responsibilities and will not reuse you; If you are a company employee without your own personality, the boss will think you lack ability and will not give you due treatment; if you are a scientist without your own personality, you will not be able to independently research new results. If you are... …

In fact, we don’t need to give more examples, you will also understand that personality is so important to us living in the 21st century, and its various influences on us can be experienced personally.In our own life, we must not obliterate our individuality and become a member of the ordinary public.

Personality is the key to our survival. With a personality that suits you, you will instinctively know the difference between right and wrong, and you will become a relatively successful person, trusted by others, and your word is your contract.Your human beauty will be brought to the limit by your personality.To some extent, our many qualities make up our personality. These qualities, such as honesty, bravery, hard work, etc., are the spiritual strength that we human beings form a society and survive on the earth.

Of course, depression, low self-esteem, and depravity can also constitute a person's negative personality, and these personalities will directly lead to our failure.

This is an era of information explosion and economic development, and it is also an era of talents.The sea is wide and the fish leaps, the sky is high and the birds fly. An outstanding personality can change the fate of a person's life.

Only an outstanding personality can transform destiny.

As we have repeatedly mentioned before, personality affects a person's future and destiny. In such an era where personality survival is the mainstream, we should shape our own destiny with outstanding personality.There is also a proverb in India, an ancient civilization: "Sow actions, and reap habits; sow habits, and reap character; sow character, and reap destiny." People cannot choose their destiny, but their destiny is not fixed.People can't choose their origin, and they can't change the environment they live in, but they can change their thoughts. When you encounter setbacks, you can choose to give in, give up hard work, and be willing to live a mediocre life; you can also choose not to give up and go on strong , and ultimately lead a fulfilling and successful life.It can be seen that only by controlling one's own character can one truly control one's own destiny and decide one's own life.

(End of this chapter)