Be a Man and Do Things Pillow Book

Chapter 16 Be a person with a good attitude (3)
In the summer when Colette was 16, his beloved older brother died in a car accident in his arms.In an instant, his brain went blank, and he has since collapsed.The pain of losing a loved one oppressed his heart, he was silent and no longer had a smile on his face.In his view, joy belongs to others, sorrow and pain are like fences, tightly surrounding him; loneliness wraps around him like clothes.He has no friends, no desire for any association.In silence, he thought of death.

Finally one day, he suddenly woke up and realized why he lived so tired and bitterly.How childish all this is.The dead are like this, and the deepest sympathy for the dead is not only to cry hoarse voices on the grave, but also more important. It is by no means artificially building fortresses to create sadness, but to straighten up and move forward.

Later, he made a girlfriend, and soon broke up.Claret did not feel overwhelmed with pain, he had learned to choose to be strong, and learned to think differently about problems.No longer close your own feelings, no longer close your own world.

In life, everyone may encounter misfortunes of one kind or another, such as the unfortunate death of relatives, the breakup of friends, serious illness... You must pay attention, none of these are important to you, and they will not constitute fatal to you. trauma.

The deadliest wounds come from within our own psyche, and it is our psyche that leads us to despair.

If you turn your back on the whole world, the whole world will turn your back on you.Fate is immutable, what can be changed is our attitude towards it.As long as we can treat fate with a proper attitude, fate is not such a terrible thing.Give up hopeless thoughts, think about the problem from another angle, and you will become open-minded, and find that nothing has changed: the sun still shines on you, and the moonlight still caresses you.

The real light lies in the heart of man.

A young man lost his job when his parents died suddenly.Faced with this sudden blow, he fell into extreme pain and wanted to commit suicide by jumping into the river.A blind man passed by the river, and the bamboo pole in his hand touched the young man who was about to jump into the river.

When the blind man asked him why he committed suicide, he said: "I feel that there is darkness in front of me, and I can't see any light."

The blind man persuaded him, "Actually, you are so stupid. No matter how long the night is, you can always see the sun coming out; You can always have a moment of laughter, at least you can cry when you are sad. But I can’t see anything, and I have been living in the long and cold night, and I even want to cry without tears. But I have been telling myself that I must live Go on and live a good life, because I love the light. Don't you think that you are much happier than me? But are you as strong as me?"

The young man sighed: "Thank you very much, you have brought me light. You are really an angel of light."

The real light lies in the heart of man.It depends on people's love of life and the strength of their thoughts.

The real light is the torch that burns in people's hearts. It is a kind of love for life and a kind of hope for life.

The only one who can knock you down is yourself.Don't be pessimistic and disappointed easily. You can't see the light because you closed your eyes.

Don't live by other people's values.

If the happiness you pursue refers to other people's models everywhere, then your whole life will be miserable living in other people's values.

In life, we are often very concerned about what kind of image we are in the eyes of others. Therefore, in order to leave a better impression on others, we always strive to do our best in everything, and we must always Appear to be smarter than others.Driven by this kind of psychology, people often push themselves on a life track of never-ending pain.

The following parable may be very telling, because happiness does not need to seek the approval of others.

A big cat saw a kitten chasing its own tail and asked, "Why are you chasing your own tail?" Good things are happiness, and happiness is my tail. Therefore, I chase my tail, and once I chase it, I will have happiness." The big cat said: "My child, I also noticed that the universe I used to think that happiness was in the tail too. However, I noticed that whenever I went after it, it always ran away from me, but when I went about my business, it seemed to follow wherever I went behind me."

The most effective way to achieve happiness is not to live for others, is to avoid chasing it, is not to demand it from everyone.By connecting with yourself, by using your positive self-image as your advisor, and through these, you gain more validation.

Of course, you will never get everyone to agree or approve of everything you do, but once you think you are valuable and worthy of being valued, then you will never feel that you are not recognized by others. frustrated.

You can lose to others, but not to yourself.

Shakespeare once said: If we compare ourselves to clay, we will really become things that others trample on.In fact, it doesn't matter what kind of person others think you are, what matters is whether you are sure of yourself; how others beat you is not the point, the point is whether you lost to yourself before others beat you.Many people fail, usually to themselves, not to others.

Here is a true story:

Robert Philip, an expert in personality analysis in the United States, once received a homeless person who was heavily in debt due to business failure in his office.Robert looked at the person in front of him from head to toe: blank eyes, frustrated wrinkles, beard that hadn't been shaved in ten days, and nervous expression.Expert Robert thought for a while and said: "Although I can't help you, if you want, I can introduce you to a person in this building who can help you earn back the money you lost and assist you to make a comeback." .”

As soon as Robert finished speaking, he jumped up immediately, grabbed Robert's hand, and said, "For God's sake, please take me to see this man."

Robert took him to stand in front of what appeared to be a curtain hanging over a doorway.Then the curtain was pulled back to reveal a tall mirror, from which he could see his whole body.Robert pointed to the mirror and said: "This is the person. In this world, only this person can make you come back. Do you feel that you failed because you lost to the external environment or someone else? No, you just lost to yourself. .”

He took a few steps toward the mirror, ran his hands over his bearded face, looked at the person in the mirror from head to toe for a few minutes, then stepped back, bowed his head, and began to cry.

A few days later, Robert met this man on the street, and he was no longer a tramp. He was dressed in a suit, walked briskly and vigorously, and held his head high. The original old, restless, and tense posture had disappeared. not see.

Later, that person really made a comeback and became a rich man in Chicago.

During a march, a small team was suddenly attacked by the enemy. During the melee, two soldiers rushed out of the enemy's encirclement, only to find that they had entered the desert.Halfway through the walk, the water ran out, and the injured soldier was exhausted and needed to rest.So, the companion handed the gun to the wounded, and repeatedly ordered: "There are still five bullets in the gun. After I leave, you fire a shot into the air every hour. The sound of the gun will guide me to meet you. After finishing speaking, the companion went to find water with confidence.The warrior lying in the desert is full of doubts: Can his companions find water?Can you hear the gunfire?Will you leave your "baggage" behind and leave alone?When the sun fell, there was only one bullet left in the gun, and the companion had not returned.The wounded warrior was convinced that his companions had already left, and that he could only wait for death.In the imagination, vultures flew over in the desert, ruthlessly pecked at his eyes and devoured his body... As a result, he completely collapsed and sent the last bullet into his temple.Not long after the gunshots rang out, the companion came with a jug full of water and led a caravan of camels, and found a body that was still warm...

The soldier rushed out of the enemy's hail of bullets, but died under his own gun. It makes people sigh and sigh: we are fighting in the journey of life, fighting against the sky and people, and we don't take it easy. Admit defeat, believe that as long as you work hard, there is nothing you can't overcome.However, most of the time, in the face of harsh environments, natural disasters and man-made disasters, and intrigues, we first deny ourselves psychologically, and we choose to give up and fail.

In the difficult journey of life, we must stick to a belief: we can lose to others, but not to ourselves.Because it is not the external environment that defeats you, but yourself.

Life is up to me, the strong live every day as if it is the last day of life!
Therefore, a strong person who does not lose to himself is a person who does not forget his own rights in life and can choose a positive attitude in times of difficulty; he is a person who can treat failure correctly and never give up; Arrogant, a person who values ​​his dignity as a human being more than his own life; he is a person who can respect, tolerate, and treat friends well, and knows how to treat others, and others will treat himself as he does; he is a person who can control time, use time with high quality and be able to A person who races against time; he has a correct understanding of wealth, a gentleman loves money, and obtains it in a proper way; he is a person who understands the true meaning of love and has strong emotional support.

Go your own way and let others do the talking.

After recognizing yourself, others, the environment, and the objective conditions, you must firmly walk your own path and bravely advance toward the established goal. Give up because of some external factors.Not only must you have a clear goal, but you must also have a firm goal and not be moved by other things.In today's grotesque commodity society, one must stick to one's own integrity, maintain one's noble character, be willing to be lonely and quiet, not be moved by rich clothes, rich food, high officials and rich salary, and be indifferent to one's ambitions, and work hard for one's lofty ideals Fight and stick to your own way of survival.

Fan Zhen, a famous materialist philosopher and atheist in the Southern Dynasties of our country, served as the doctor of the Shangshu Palace and the guest of Jingling King Xiao Ziliang.Xiao Ziliang believes in Buddhism, but Fan Zhen does not.Xiao Ziliang asked him: "You don't believe in karma, so why are some people rich and some poor?" Fan Zhen replied: "Life is like flowers on a tree. They bloom at the same time and fall with the wind. On the seats in the hall, some fell into the middle of the cesspit outside the wall. Those who blow on the seats are like you, and those who blow into the cesspit are like me. Although the status is different, the essence is the same. Where is the cause and effect?"

After the publication of Fan Zhen's "On the Destruction of Gods", there was an uproar in the government and the public, so Xiao Ziliang called some eminent monks and scholars to debate with him, but they couldn't win.Xiao Ziliang sent Wang Rong to say to him: "The theory of "Shen Mie Lun" is wrong. If you insist on this view, it may be bad for you. With your talent, are you afraid that you will not be able to be a high-ranking official like Zhong Shulang?" Why do you insist, let’s give up this argument.” Fan Zhen laughed and said: “If Fan Zhen sold his opinions to win officials, he would have already become a minister or a left or right servant, so he is not just a Zhongshu Lang?”

We live in this world, we cannot live without the dignity of being human, we cannot disregard our identity and reputation, and we cannot allow strong vanity to occupy us.Just as Xu Beihong said: "One cannot be arrogant, but one cannot be without pride." Once you have chosen a goal, don't pay attention to other people's cynicism.

(End of this chapter)