Be a Man and Do Things Pillow Book

Chapter 43: Be a Kind Person (2)
Fill your life with love.

Love is the most precious thing in life.Everyone longs for love, without which no one can exist.There is a famous foreign saying that love is omnipotent.Indeed, with love, you can have everything, including wealth and success.

Love is beautiful, but the greatest love is selfless. While longing for the love of others, one should also have a loving heart and learn to give love to others.Love brings tolerance, warmth and happiness to relatives, friends, family, society and mankind.When we give a little love for others, we will also get the satisfaction of love and feel real happiness. This kind of satisfaction and happiness will not fluctuate with the tide of time, but will become more and more in the brewing of time. The sweeter it gets, the more mellow it gets.

A poet and his girlfriend went out for a walk, and saw an old woman begging by the side of the road, very pitiful.The girlfriend then wanted to give her some money, and the poet said to his girlfriend: "It is more necessary to give her something to her heart, not a little bit of charity." The girlfriend was puzzled.

The next day, when the poet went out for a walk, he took a rose in his hand.When he came to the old woman, he bent down and gave the flowers to the old woman with both hands.The old woman stood up, stretched out her hands, and held the poet's hand, she was so excited that she couldn't speak for a long time.In the next few days, when the poet and his girlfriend went out for a walk, they did not see the old woman again.Finally the old woman came back again, and sat there begging as before.

His girlfriend asked the poet: "Why didn't she come a few days ago? How does she live?" The poet replied earnestly: "Rose."

Where is the rose that the poet gave to the old woman? It is clearly a warm love. It is this love that made the old woman feel the warmth of the world and spent several days happily, because the poet's love It made her feel more fulfilled in life.

Franklin said: "If you want to be loved, you must love others first, and make yourself lovable." Love can make this society warm and turn the wasteland into an oasis.As long as everyone pays a little love, the world will become a better world.

Have a grateful heart.

Gratitude is the root of love and a necessary condition for happiness.If we can be grateful for everything we have in life, we can truly appreciate the joy of life, the warmth of the world and the value of life.Benedict said: "It is not a virtue to receive favors;

A grateful heart will bring us endless happiness.The lyrics of a song read: "I don't care about forever, I only care about what I once had." Being grateful for every possession in life can make us content and happy.Gratitude is not showing off, not stagnating, but seeing all possessions as a kind of honor, an encouragement, a positive action that generates rewards in deep gratitude, and sharing one's own possessions with others.The heart of gratitude makes people vigilant and active, loves life more, and their creativity is more active; the heart of gratitude makes people open their minds to the world and devote themselves to benevolent actions.People who are not grateful will never know how to love, and will never be loved by others.

A person with a grateful heart, even if he looks up at the night sky, will be moved and feel a little happiness, just as Kant said: "On a clear night, looking up at the sky, you will get a kind of happiness. to feel it.”

Two people were walking in the desert for many days. When they were extremely thirsty, they met an old man driving a camel with a large belt of water on the camel.So they asked the old man for a bowl of water to drink.The old man only gave each of them half a bowl of water.After the old man left, one of them kept complaining that the old man was stingy. There was so much water, but he only gave half a bowl. In a fit of anger, he poured half the bowl of water away.The other, although he also knew that the half bowl of water could not completely quench his hunger and thirst, still drank the half bowl of water with gratitude.As a result, they walked a long way and did not meet the water source again. The former died in the desert because he refused to drink half a bowl of water, while the latter finally walked out of the desert because he drank the half bowl of water.

What the old man gave was obviously a kind of love, and what the latter drank was also a kind of gratitude. It was this kind of gratitude that supported him to walk out of the desert.In life, we should also learn to be grateful, grateful to our parents for giving us life, grateful to the country for giving us peace, grateful to passers-by for giving us help, grateful... There are many facts in life that we need to be grateful for.Only with a grateful heart in life can we appreciate the happiness of life.

Take a little time before going to bed every day to think about what you are grateful for today, such as: an exhortation from your father, a breakfast from your mother, a smile from your wife, and a greeting from your neighbor. These are the things you love in your life. The embodiment is worthy of our gratitude. If we can feel the love in it, we will be full of gratitude, and our life will become lovely, beautiful and fulfilling.

Express your affection in good time.

Expressing your favor is the lubricant of interpersonal communication and promotes the development of interpersonal relationships in a better direction.Moreover, this kind of expression does not require investment or capital, as long as you smile from the bottom of your heart, look in your eyes with appreciation, and give you a gentle compliment.How simple.

To identify with others is to identify with yourself.Express your goodwill to others, and you will win others' goodwill to you.

Communication between people is sometimes not as difficult as imagined, if you are willing to express your favor.

People like to hear words of praise and words that make themselves happy. Of course, this kind of praise and joy is not the kind of purposeful flattery, not the kind of flattery that intentionally beautifies others, but a real expression of your Your compliments express your sincerity.

However, in real life, you will find that many of us and the people around us are stingy with the favor of others, and more of them vent their complaints in their hearts:
We complain that our parents’ family property is not rich and their status is low. They can’t let us enjoy the glory, and they can’t pave the way for us in life and let us rise to the top;

We complained that our superiors couldn't see the pearls, so that we, a thousand-mile horse, couldn't gallop on the battlefield, and our full of knowledge turned into countless complaints;

We complain that our peers do not do as much as we do, but our salary is higher than ours, and our small life is more nourishing than ours;
We complain that prices are too high and merchants are too treacherous;

We complain about too much sunshine in sunny days and too much humidity in rainy days;

we complain about...

Complaining makes our faces full of resentment and injustice; complaining makes our eyes full of depression and doubt; complaining makes us unable to see the warmth of family, the care of friendship, and the sweetness of love; It makes us live a heavy and hard life; complaining makes our hearts cloudy, and makes us like a pack of dynamite, which can detonate us with just a small fuse, which hurts both ourselves and others.

Complaining blinds us to the bright side of life, and we end up losing ourselves.

There are indeed many frustrations and helplessness in life, but we don't have to make things difficult for ourselves, so that complaining is like a poisonous snake biting our souls from time to time.What if we changed the way, say, to express your kindness and gratitude to others?

Let us be grateful for the upbringing of our parents, repay our parents with filial piety, and let our parents enjoy the happiness of their family.

Let us thank the boss for giving you a stage to display your talents, and thank the boss for trusting you.

Let us appreciate your cooperation at the same level, and thank you at the same level for your spiritual support.

Let us be grateful for the abundance of items in the market and the enthusiasm of the merchants.

Let us appreciate the warmth of the sun and the romance of the rain.

Let's be grateful...

try it yourself.You will find that gratitude will make our faces full of spring breeze and smile brightly; gratitude will make our eyes full of friendliness and joy; gratitude will make us truly understand the warmth of family, the care of friendship, and the sweetness of love ; Praise makes us all brothers, and the world is like neighbors; gratitude makes us lively, relaxed and happy; when you look at everything with a grateful attitude, the haze in your heart will disappear, and the block in your chest will also turn into a warm current and fill your heart tenderness.

Some people say: life is a mirror.If you express your goodwill towards life, life will return you with goodwill.

Friends, you might as well give it a try, dress up your life with gratitude, embellish your life!Give it a try, start today, be more grateful, and show your affection!

Be a good listener.

To be a good listener is more attractive than any eloquent, and it is also the most effective means of improving interpersonal relationships.

In social interactions, sometimes listening to the other person is more important than talking to yourself.

In social communication, being good at listening to other people's speech not only reflects a person's etiquette accomplishment, but also a superb communication art.In social situations, an attentive listener is often more popular than an impassioned orator who makes the speaker feel important.Being good at listening to other people's speeches in social interaction is a respect for others, and sometimes helps to solve problems.

In the book "Interpersonal Relations", American educator Dale Carnegie narrated a short story of his personal experience:

Once, Carnegie talked with a celebrity at a dinner party.During the dinner, Carnegie only played the role of listening to the speeches of celebrities from beginning to end.Afterwards, the celebrity praised the host of the dinner party, saying that "Carnegie is a very good conversationalist."After learning of this, Carnegie couldn't help being surprised and said: "I was just listening to him very seriously."

Charismatic people are mostly good listeners.Those who are really good at listening to others can move the other party more than those who are good at speaking, and can arouse the other party's sense of intimacy.

On weekdays, we often hear people complaining, or we ourselves have been complaining: "Why is it so difficult to express yourself? I am always so clumsy and not good at talking, so I can't get along well with others, and interpersonal relationships are also difficult. It just doesn’t always work out.”

A person who is not good at talking is also a person who is not good at listening to others.Because he cares too much about his own behavior in the relationship, he is always thinking about it: he must not let the other party laugh at him, and he must speak beautifully, otherwise he will not be recognized by the other party.On the other hand, he felt very distressed that his speech could not reach the ideal level.In this way, of course, you will not be able to concentrate on listening to the other party's speech, and you will inevitably ignore the other party. It is difficult to really listen to the other party's speech, but just nod casually and listen absent-mindedly, sometimes without waiting for the other party to finish a sentence. I couldn't wait to say it myself.This is a one-sided style of conversation that only asks the other person to listen to you.

Our era is an era of self-promotion, that is, an era in which everyone wants to publicize themselves.If everyone wants to show off their self, naturally no one will listen carefully to what they have to say.

In the famous comic work "Evil Old Wife" drawn by Mr. Machiko Hasegawa of Japan, there is such a picture:

There was a vicious old woman who broke into someone's house and stole.She first tied up the daughter-in-law of that family, then threatened her with a kitchen knife in her hand and said, "Do as I tell you!" Regarding this, Nei Bai Zeyun said, "My daughter-in-law doesn't listen to me at all!" The painting captures the current social situation very accurately.

In fact, today, most people only know how to promote themselves blindly, but there are very few people who sincerely listen to each other's statements.Because of this, Carnegie's virtue of listening to others mentioned above is the most commendable.

Here is an example of a successful listener at work:
Ms. M has been engaged in field work in an insurance company for nearly 20 years, and she is a very experienced expert.Even among the many field personnel in the company, her performance has always been outstanding.She does not use persuasion when she persuades clients to get insurance, which is what makes her different from other field personnel.The usual practice of the latter is to put several brochures in front of customers, then explain to them the due time and the amount receivable, and repeat in a very skilled tone how much the customer will get after buying the insurance. the benefits of.

Miss M, on the other hand, did not say a word of this kind.She always starts with topics that the other party is interested in, and talks a little bit about her ignorance and failure in this regard.And the other party, who had always been wary of persuading him to buy insurance, inadvertently started talking with her because she was talking about a topic he liked.She always listened afterwards, admiring and amazed by what the other person had to say.The other party unconsciously poured out his inner troubles and talked about his ideals and hopes for the future. Ms. M still listened intently.It was not until the end that I took the initiative to express the idea of ​​insurance: "So, we still need to insure properly!"

Miss M is a good listener.However, what can be asserted here is that she did not pretend to listen to the other party for business reasons.On the contrary, Ms. M even forgot her work during this period, and listened to the other party's speech sincerely and extremely carefully.It is precisely because of this that the other party will open up to her and confide the truth.Even in the eyes of others, the dialogue between them seems to be one-sided, but in fact, the two are communicating and communicating spiritually.

(End of this chapter)