Be a Man and Do Things Pillow Book

Chapter 44: Be a Kind Person (3)
How to listen to each other?
Be attentive.When listening, focus and focus.In order to show that you pay attention to listening, you should exchange eyes with the other party more often, nod at the right time when others speak, and respond with "yes", "yes" and "oh".But don't interrupt other people's conversations easily, and don't interrupt casually. If you have to interrupt, you must first apologize to the other party and ask for the other party's consent, such as "Excuse me, may I ask a question?" or "Please allow me to interrupt." one time."

Be humble.Respect the other person's point of view during the conversation, even if you disagree with the other person's point of view, don't interrupt the other person's conversation easily.If it is really necessary, you need to wait until the other person has finished speaking before clarifying your point of view.Especially when the other party has not fully expressed their meaning clearly, don't express your position lightly, make random judgments, and don't be picky and critical.Otherwise, it will make people feel that you have a sense of superiority and affect the progress of the conversation.

Be patient.Pay attention to controlling your emotions during the conversation.Sometimes you will feel bored because of the other party's too long speech or topics that you are not interested in. At this time, you must learn to control your emotions, don't let them show, and listen patiently to the speaker. This is respect for the speaker.Especially when the other party has an opinion, listen patiently and provide the other party with an opportunity to vent their dissatisfaction, which will help solve the problem.

Understanding is a ray of fresh sunshine.

Understanding is a ray of fresh sunshine. With the help of this ray of "sunshine", we can clarify our thinking, purify our hearts, and make us appear more fulfilled, more comfortable and happier in work, study and life.

In daily life, it is inevitable that people will have different opinions when interacting with others, and different opinions will lead to differences in words and deeds between people. These are normal things.If you understand more, there will be no gaps and conflicts due to differences between others and your own views.

However, in real life, there is often a lot of lack of understanding, mistaking the difference in views of others and oneself as being difficult for oneself, haggling over every detail, and endlessly fighting "belly lawsuits", the result is bound to cause conflicts between oneself and others The estrangement, this kind of estrangement gradually grows from small to large, and eventually becomes two contradictory parties, incompatible with each other.

As long as it is not an issue of right and wrong that is extremely principled, understanding should be the best interpretation of different opinions.Someone said: "Understanding is a ray of fresh sunshine. It can illuminate our hearts, open our minds, and benefit us a lot throughout our lives." It makes our world vibrant, and many new things are born.To take a step back, the existence of different opinions between individuals and others will make them think about problems from another angle.Maybe my own inherent views are originally wrong and unscientific.It is precisely because of the different opinions of others that I reflect on myself, so as to correct my wrong understanding and viewpoints and make new progress.Therefore, to treat different opinions correctly is not only not wrong, but a rational attitude.And to do this, what is needed is "understanding".Understand others, understand the environment, and understand all aspects of the era we live in; don't be stubborn, extreme, and fussy, and don't fight "belly lawsuits" with others for trivial matters, making yourself uneasy, sad and sad.

To make "understanding" a ray of spiritual sunshine, one is to be calm when encountering problems, to divide one into two, and to seek truth from facts.The second is to be lenient.Even if others deliberately make life difficult for oneself, being able to "be patient" within a certain period of time is also a performance of the brave.The ancients said: "Take a step back and calm the sea, and endure for a while to open up the sea and the sky", "The prime minister can pull a boat in his belly".The third is to form a rigorous style of strict self-discipline and lenient treatment of others.To deal with different opinions, first calmly think about whether your own understanding is right or wrong, and if you are wrong, you must correct it, and don't be stubborn.If the other party is wrong, there is no need to argue too much, because time is the best yardstick to measure right and wrong, and people's thoughts will change as time goes by.

Zheng Banqiao has a masterpiece, that is, "it is rare to be confused", and the connotation of this sentence is actually "understanding is the most important thing".When people gather together, due to differences in age, education level, personal cultivation, temper, family and living environment, there must be gaps in understanding of some things. These are normal phenomena, and there is no need to disturb yourself too much. More understanding should be given.In fact, while understanding others, not only avoid unnecessary conflicts and contradictions, but also a kind of spiritual self-release and self-liberation.

Respect the living habits of others.

To be a good person, one must first learn to respect others, including friends, students, strangers... Maybe this is a simple and obvious truth, but a seemingly simple truth also needs to be felt carefully.It is precisely because we often feel that some truths are very simple, but we tend to ignore it and not feel it with our hearts, so we often hurt others and even ourselves.

In life, the most precious gift is respect and understanding.When a person receives this gift, he will feel happy and his pride will be enhanced; and the person who gives this gift will also feel the same happiness and fulfillment, because he respects and understands others while respecting and understanding others. His spiritual realm will become more noble, and his personality will become more sound.

In this ever-changing era, the wheels of social development are rolling forward.But all the simple principles of life are like gold in the rolling yellow sand, it will not disappear because of the existence of yellow sand, gold will always be gold.

Many people have their own living habits, and we can all see the personality of each person embedded in these habits.Of course, there are some bad habits that we will not learn and emulate, but we have no reason to mock and make fun of them.To respect others is to respect yourself, and to help others is to help yourself.There are enough places in this vast world for us to live and for others to live, and we can all live in peace.

Writer Chu Brad said that if a person plants shade trees and knows that he will never enjoy the shade under them, then he has at least a beginning in discovering the meaning of life.In life, each of us will have our own living habits and ways of thinking. Of course, we cannot guarantee that all thinking and habits are correct, but when we face other people's habits with understanding and respect, isn't it just planted? Have you got off the big tree for people to enjoy the shade?

The man who imposes accusations on the habits of others is like carrying a heavy burden, which only makes him old and faltering.We use a broad mind to tolerate other people's behavior, use a kind heart to perceive other people's behavior, and use a tolerant mind to treat others' words and deeds kindly. In this way, when we respect others, do we also get some of the best things in life? What about things?

Life is like a colorful river. This river is full of vitality and songs of life because of all kinds of people.Let us merge into this beautiful river of life with kind smiles!

Smile, can drive away the cold, harmonious relationship.

A poet said: "My favorite flower is the one that blooms on other people's faces."

A smile is a flower blooming on people's faces, a smile is the sun rising in people's hearts, and a noble gift that a person can give to people who long for love.When you give this gift to others, you can win friendship, and you can win wealth.

During the Spanish Civil War, an officer was captured.On the eve before he was about to be executed, he took out the only half of a cigarette, trying to take a few puffs to relieve his fear before dying, but there was no fire.Under his repeated pleas, the guard finally took out a match expressionlessly and lit a fire.When the four eyes met, the officer couldn't help sending a smile to the soldier.Surprisingly, after the soldier was in a daze for a few seconds, the corners of his mouth turned up unnaturally, and finally he smiled.Later, the two started talking, talking about their respective hometowns, their respective wives... In the end, the soldier was emotionally moved and let him go quietly.

A western psychologist has done a smile training experiment, requiring participants to keep smiling at people every day.One month later, someone said gratefully: "I insist on doing this every day. At the beginning, everyone was surprised, but then I got used to it. This month, the happiness in the family is more than that in the past year. Now I have raised It has become a habit, and I find that everyone smiles at me, and people who used to be cold to me now seem warm."

You see, what a wonderful smile!It can communicate with the soul, harmonize the relationship, drive away the cold, and make your life full of sunshine.

Xiaomei's family has lived in a bungalow for more than ten years, and this summer will finally move to a high-rise. "Go and see the new home!" Even though it was an old building, Xiaomei still couldn't hide her good intentions.Stepping into the stuffy elevator room, Xiaomei's joy was halved:
A scarred table divides the elevator room into two, behind which sits a cold-faced elevator operator in his 40s on a high chair.Looking at that cold face, Xiaomei's other half's joy also disappeared, and she suddenly felt that the temperature seemed to drop below zero.

"How many floors?" Coldly.

"Ninth floor," Xiaomei wanted to ease the atmosphere, and quickly used her usual interpersonal skills to smile, "Auntie, your work is very hard, and the elevator room is so hot."

"Isn't it?" The elevator attendant's cold face began to melt, "It's such a small place, with such a small electric fan, it takes 6 hours to sit...Girl, the ninth floor has arrived." The elevator attendant reminded her with a smile .

Xiaomei suddenly found that her mood was getting better again. It seems that a smile and a greeting are like a warm current, which can instantly communicate with the strange souls between people.

Later, when taking the elevator, Xiaomei chatted with the elevator driver more and became more cordial.One day, Xiaomei and several decorators brought the wood to the elevator, and after a gesture, the wood couldn't go in.

"Xiaomei, come on, move my table and chair out, and you can put the wood in by tilting the wood." The elevator aunt seemed very experienced, and everything went well.

The wood was delivered so quickly that the neighbor couldn't help asking Xiaomei: "How did you transport the wood here?"

"Elevator." "Huh? We have the same wood, but the elevator operator said, 'This is too long, it won't fit in the elevator, you take the stairs!' Nine floors, we carried them up layer by layer!"

Xiaomei knew what was going on in her heart. A cold face needed to be melted with a smile and a warm greeting.

In today's society, the competition is becoming more and more fierce, and the pace of life is getting faster and faster. People only care about their own affairs and rarely care about others.Under such circumstances, people need the understanding and care of others more deeply in their hearts. At this time, give them a greeting and a little care to meet their emotional needs, and they will repay you with enthusiasm.

With this scripture, Xiaomei smiles when she sees people in the unit, greets and greets, and Xiaomei's popularity becomes better and better. To use a fashionable saying, "popularity soars", and all this is due to smiling.

Why is a small smile so powerful in interpersonal communication?The reason is that the message behind the smile is: "You are popular, I like you, you make me happy, I'm glad to see you." Come on, who doesn't love a message like that?
There is an old saying in China: "People don't know how to laugh but don't open shop."

Foreigners put it more directly: "Smile is close to wealth; without a smile, wealth will be far away from you."

A personnel manager at a major New York department store put it this way: "I'd rather hire a girl with a cute smile who didn't finish high school than a Ph.D. with a poker face."

The success of Mr. Hilton, the founder of the world-famous Hilton Hotel, also benefited from his mother's "smile".His mother once said to him: "Son, if you want to succeed, you must find a method that meets the following four conditions: first, it must be simple; second, it must be easy to do; third, it must not cost money; fourth, it must be able to Use it for a long time." What kind of method is this?Mother laughed but didn't answer.Hilton observed and thought repeatedly, and suddenly found out: it is a smile, and only a smile fully meets these four conditions.Later, he really broke into the door of success with a smile, and opened the hotel to big cities all over the world.

No wonder a businessman praised so much: "Smiling doesn't cost money, but it's always worth it."

Smiles play such a pivotal role in shopping malls, so the primary content of pre-job training for service employees must be "service with a smile".

For each of us, a smile is easy, but it can illuminate everyone who sees it, like the sun passing through dark clouds, bringing warmth to people.Let us smile, face life with a smile, and face the people around us:
Smile to your family every morning before going to work, and they will look forward to your return in happiness; smile and nod to the doorman at work, and he will return you a friendly and respectful smile.

Every day when you encounter colleagues who take the initiative to smile and say hello, your popularity will rise sharply.

When driving and merging, roll down the window, nod and smile to the driver behind you, will anyone stop you?

When eating in the restaurant, after the waitress poured the tea, she smiled and said to her: "Thank you, the tea is poured really well." Although that is what she should do, she will feel that your smile and greeting are Additional bonus.

Every time you give a smile, you add a share to the total amount of human happiness, and the light of this smile will also shine on your face, bringing you convenience, happiness and good memories ,why not?

(End of this chapter)