20s decide a woman's life

Chapter 1 In a woman's world, men stand aside
We only need to occupy a place in this world in the way of women, not dependent on men, start a business of our own, and create our own future.

who said women are weak

In a class at the university, a female teacher brought up the idea that women are strong.The boys sneered when they heard this, and some boys with malicious intentions even asked a question to make things difficult for the female teacher: If there are three boys and one girl living on a deserted island, and it is an island in the sea that has not yet been discovered by humans, what would happen? In this case, who can become the strong one?
The female teacher smiled slightly, and then talked eloquently: "At the beginning, boys were like vicious wolves, and girls were lambs to be slaughtered by them, but this situation didn't last long. Soon, girls turned into tigers dominating the world. It is a lamb at its slaughter. The reason is very simple, the boys duel each other for the only girl, and in the end, one is killed, the other is maimed, and the winning one becomes a meek lamb."

The boys booed collectively.

"Don't think I'm talking nonsense, you can do an experiment if you have the guts to fall madly in love with your classmate's girlfriend, and you will be verified!" said the female teacher.

"Long live!" the girls chanted.

At this time, another boy stood up and asked, "But what if there are three women and one man on the island?"

"That way, girls are tigers all the way. They don't duel each other over the lamb, but try to get more of what they want from it."

“How come you see?”

"Look at those married men who have extramarital affairs, this truth will be verified. Therefore, women are always smarter than men, and they are strong!"

This little story makes people smile knowingly. The wit of the female teacher has won people's favor. We have also come to such a conclusion: women are not weak.

It is often said that "women are made of water".Yes, the fact is true. Women do not have strong bodies and tough personalities like men, and they are often in a protected position in society, but this does not mean that women are weak.Although women are weak, they have toughness that men can't match. Using softness to overcome rigidity is a woman's strongest weapon.

A good appearance does not affect the decisiveness in dealing with things; an elegant temperament can also make correct decisions.Women's charm and work ability are not mutually exclusive.In fact, many professional women are "half water, half fire", not lacking in tenderness, delicacy, and affinity, but also shrewd, decisive, and capable.With the unique temperament and demeanor of women, they are good at the workplace and have achieved success in their careers.

A woman's strength is not directly expressed like a man's, it often penetrates unconsciously.Women are like water, although the water is soft, it can "drip through stones".Women are not just weak, sometimes they are stronger than men.So, don't think of women as born weak, and women shouldn't be weak.

For women in their twenties, the road of life has just begun. Are we to be the helpless glass of water, constantly suppressed by life, or become the earth-shaking waves, trampling the humility under our feet?The answer speaks for itself.Different choices will have different results.To become the former, it is conceivable that you can only become weak all the way, but to become the latter, you will discover the fortitude in a woman's life and become a strong person in life.

The life of a woman in her 60s is full of ups and downs.When she first married into her husband's family, her husband was already deaf and suffering from many other diseases.They later gave birth to a daughter. Unfortunately, the daughter suffered from dwarfism and had only the IQ of a seven-year-old.As a result, the burden of the family's life was entirely on the woman alone.

This woman is like a suffering machine, always in motion.She was running for her husband, and for the dwarf daughter.In the face of such great and endless suffering, she always gritted her teeth.

Such a woman, how can we call her weak?Even if it is a man, how many of them can persist like this for a lifetime when they meet such a family?But women can, and there are many such women, who are constantly fighting for poor families, and they are no weaker than men.

A woman, with a weak appearance, plays a strong role.

A woman is the water that can pass through the mountains and rush to the sea. The word "weak" doesn't fit women.For a woman in her twenties, starting a business is difficult, but not impossible.Women themselves have many advantages that men cannot match.

Women have many career advantages, and women should be good at tapping these advantages.First, as women, we are meticulous, methodical, and patient.This unique personality is the professional advantage of women.

Secondly, women have a pair of very dexterous hands.Doing manual work is the strength of women.Nowadays, some women have begun to focus on developing their own hands, and they have set up "small handicraft workshops" at home.Some women who are still looking for it may wish to open up their minds in this regard and try boldly. Don't think that manual work is "stingy work".

Finally, women's hearts are soft.This kind of tenderness enables women to exert their unique talents in spiritual comfort and achieve unexpected results.

Women's keen sense, affinity, and women's flexibility will make women a lot less resistance when starting their careers, and even women's tears can be used.Timely use of tears to show weakness can relax the enemy's vigilance.

For women in our twenties, we don't always need to be strong like men.We only need to occupy a place in this world in the way of women, but the premise is to be independent and not dependent on men, so as to start a career of our own and create our own future.

recipe for happiness
We don't need to always ask ourselves to be a strong person like men.We only need to occupy a place in this world in the way of women, but the premise is to be independent and not dependent on men, so as to start a career of our own and create our own future.

Be the darling of "Her Century"
In the 21st century, some people call it "her century".In this century, women will be the darlings of the world. They will be active on various stages of the world theater, leading the coquettishness and performing the women's demeanor.

In the 21st century, more and more women are getting the attention of people all over the world.In show business, there are Catherine Zeta-Jones, Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Gong Li, Zhang Ziyi; in sports, there are Wang Nan, Zhang Yining, Kournikova, Guo Jingjing; in politics, there is Zhao Xiaolan , Angela Merkel, Vikier Freiberga, Michelle Bachelet, Hillary Clinton; Alain Bruzavala, et al.

In this world, more and more powerful women are active in people's vision, and women's success is no longer a myth.However, looking at all kinds of competitions in the world, the majority of players are still men. Why is there such a big gap between men and women?

Women are not inherently inferior to men, women's failure is the result of self "indulgence".

In general, barriers to women's success fall into five broad categories:

The first big obstacle is pretty.

Although beautiful women are easier to apply for a job, more likely to be appreciated by their bosses, and easier to approach clients, they are less likely to achieve great success in the end.Because beautiful women are prone to have a sense of superiority, often do not think about making progress, and always expect and rely on external forces to push them to the pinnacle of success.Beauty is a woman's capital, but also an obstacle to a woman's success.

The second biggest hurdle is the sense of competition.

A sense of competition is more important than talent for a person to be successful.However, from a psychological point of view, women only have a desire to be accepted, and lack the sense of competition like men.Women generally have low self-esteem. They always feel that their work ability is not as good as that of men, their own advantages are not as good as those of men, and they cannot compete with men.So women like to comfort themselves with dreams, but don't like to use competition to spur themselves.

The third big obstacle is love.

Some people say that half of a woman is love, which fully reflects the importance women attach to love.Women regard building a happy family and maintaining a good marriage as more important than anything else.In addition, sometimes the higher the education level, the harder it is to find a partner. Behind a successful woman, there is often no strong man standing behind her.Many men prefer to be a "good wife" rather than a "strong woman".As a result, many women are convinced that professional success will not only be ostracized by society, but will also take away the love between husband and wife.

The fourth major obstacle is jealousy.

Although a woman doesn't like competition, when she finds that others are better than herself in a certain way (especially in the same sex, especially in love), she will feel jealous.Jealousy is like a kind of drug addiction that can never be quit for women. It will make women have an inexplicable spiritual dependence.When the heart of jealousy swells again, it will reach the point of jealousy, making it difficult for women to extricate themselves.

The fifth biggest obstacle is dependence.

Women's potential thinking has a certain degree of dependence, always wants to rely on the outside world, and always has illusions about others.Many women like to focus on the understanding and imitation of the original thinking results.The purpose of thinking is to continue what is already there, not to create something new.This is the biggest psychological obstacle for them to engage in creative work, and it is also the main reason why women are easy to achieve in those fields with strong imitation and inheritance.

The twenties are the golden age for women to achieve their careers. Women in this period should give full play to the unique energy and aggressiveness of young people, overcome obstacles to women's success, bravely publicize themselves, release their youth, and be the darling of "her century"!

recipe for happiness
Women are not inherently inferior to men, women's failure is the result of self "indulgence".

A man is never a woman's savior

Women are born to dream, especially love dreams.Not only women are dreaming, the whole society is helping women to fabricate love dreams.In Korean dramas, a handsome talented man falls in love with a gentle and lovely poor girl, and in fairy tales, the prince (the future king) who dominates the world marries the "Cinderella" who bears the burden of humiliation... In short, all kinds of dreams make women feel salty fish all at once. Turning over, the little sparrow flew up the branch and turned into a phoenix.However, life is not a dream after all, but a real economic relationship composed of power, financial resources and status.Marx said that the objective restricts the subjective, and the economic base determines the superstructure. Since you live in the environment of social groups, how can you easily escape from the net of society?
Women in their twenties always fantasize about men as their saviors and marriage as their safe, thinking that when they meet a good man, they will be able to turn around and be reborn.Women in their twenties spend too much time pleasing men, trying their best to "trap" men, and want them to love themselves for the rest of their lives - love is a woman's biggest bargaining chip or pursuit , a man is the most important cause in a woman's life.Women tirelessly put on makeup, go shopping tirelessly to find clothes, are not afraid to pose artificially, and even go to the plastic surgery parlor to try their own knives, all for the purpose of being a "male".

It's a pity that the woman's strength was used in the wrong place.Although love is good, it does not necessarily make marriage.Women in their twenties enjoy love, but you shouldn't expect it to bring you many practical benefits.Love is emotional, but marriage is not only emotional. In many cases, it focuses on a "reasonable" combination of "real interests".Just like many political marriages in history, or the combination of family status between big families, it reflects such an economic essence.Even in the 21st century, this phenomenon is still going on.

Next, let's analyze the various types of marriage in detail.Let's first look at wealthy marriages.A wealthy family, as we all know, "prosperity and wealth", "good clothes and fine food", everyone knows the benefits of a wealthy family, but since ancient times, a wealthy family has always complained about women.

In 1995, the sweet and pure Ye Yunyi married Chen Bohao, a wealthy businessman in the toy industry, and entered a wealthy family.Back then, in order to express his love for his wife, Chen Bohao even made a batch of doll toys based on Ye Yunyi.

It's a pity that the good times didn't last long. When Ye Yunyi was pregnant with her second child, Chen Bohao began to hang out in sensual places, looking for women everywhere, and was photographed by reporters many times with other women.At the beginning, Ye Yunyi washed her face with tears, trying to save this marriage.But helplessly, Chen Bohao filed for divorce from Ye Yunyi in 1999.

Zhu Lingling, elegant and noble, was born as a Hong Kong sister. Even after Li Jiaxin appeared, no one dared to say that Zhu Lingling was not the most successful Hong Kong sister.After Zhu Lingling was elected Miss Hong Kong in 1977, she passed the strict inspection of wealthy families in just 9 months, and quickly married Huo Zhenting, the son of Fok Yingdong, and entered the first-line wealthy families in Hong Kong.

On September 2006, 9, Zhu Lingling officially announced to the media through her friends that she had moved out of the Huo family in 22, and her marriage had officially ended as early as 1997.

"How deep is the courtyard", who said that once a wealthy family enters, they will enjoy endless glory in the world?Of course, although there are many grievances and disputes in the wealthy family, there are still many women who want to squeeze into it.But then again, even if a wealthy family wants to visit, they must have an "admission ticket". If you want to marry into a wealthy family, how can you do it easily?
Rich people say that they are well-matched. They are not short of money, but they value status and reputation.Even if the man himself is willing to marry a humble and unknown young lady, his family may not agree.Besides, there are countless famous ladies and ladies in the upper class, so why should he have to "brave the disgrace of the world" and demean himself?Wouldn't it be the icing on the cake to be "a perfect match" and "a strong alliance" with the upper-class lady?
Think about it, when Prince Charles married Diana, although she was not from a wealthy family, she had authentic aristocratic blood.Look at those women who married into wealthy families mentioned above, including Li Jiaxin, the great beauty who has always followed the route of wealthy families. Which one is the real "Cinderella"?Not to mention the beauty of each of them, who didn't gain both fame and fortune before entering a wealthy family?
Or look at middle-class marriages.People in this class can be said to be material and spiritual "dual nobles". They not only have a stable and generous income, but also pay attention to their own spiritual cultivation.The important rules of their marriage are: the family origins are basically the same, the economic base is roughly the same, and the spiritual temperament attracts each other.As for the love of "male talent and female appearance" that everyone dreams of, it is more likely to happen in this class.That is to say, a suave department manager might marry a hotel waiter or a small shop assistant, but this kind of thing is not common.Because the income of a salesperson is lower than that of a manager, knowledge and spiritual pursuit are not equal to those of a manager.Unless the salesperson is smart, studious and capable, the manager can teach you to help you.Otherwise, "being in love is easier than getting along", even if the manager likes the salesperson at first, it is still unknown whether he can live for a long time.

Finally, let’s look at marriages in the general class.Needless to say, men of this class have limited work experience and income. It is difficult for a woman to rely on him to support you when she marries. Even if he has the heart, he does not have the strength, so he should support himself.Those who should go to work should go to work, and those who should run small businesses should run small businesses. In short, women should "work hard and be self-reliant".

Today, with the rapid development of the market economy, people have the psychology of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages. Most women want to protect or enhance their power, wealth, status, and reputation through marriage.Therefore, although the current marriage is covered with a veil of tender love, it cannot get rid of the "hand behind the scenes" of market transactions-the buyer wants to buy the best goods with the least money, and the seller wants to buy the worst goods. Sell ​​the goods for the highest price.After weighing the pros and cons, the buyer and the seller bargain, and finally reach a price acceptable to both parties.In other words, if you regard marriage as a "gamble" to change your destiny, the higher the return of marriage, the greater your bargaining chip (your own comprehensive capital, including appearance, education, background, etc.).Marriage is a protracted battle. The investment in the early stage must be sufficient, and the backup force must also be strong. Otherwise, if you win in the early stage, but your strength cannot keep up with the situation in the later stage, you will still lose.

In short, men are not women's savior, and marriage is not a woman's golden rice bowl.Now even many celebrities, models, and white-collar workers develop their careers before considering marriage. "Relying on mountains and mountains will collapse, relying on water and water will dry up", women in their twenties have to rely on themselves, no matter how well married you are, you can't give up your struggle, otherwise once your marriage fails, how will you go on?
So, what are you still fantasizing and hesitating about in your twenties?Independence and self-improvement are the best "lover" and "dependence" in your life.

recipe for happiness
Although love is good, it does not necessarily make marriage.Women in their twenties enjoy love, but you shouldn't expect it to bring you many practical benefits.

women must be independent
Love requires spiritual independence to respect and love each other, and women need independent personality to live out their style.For a woman in her twenties, if she wants to live a wonderful life, she must be a tree instead of a vine, be self-reliant and not rely on others.Only by being self-reliant can you steer the voyage of destiny and dominate your own life.

The TV series "Don't Talk to Strangers" once caused great repercussions in the society. It tells a story about domestic violence.Anyone who has watched it will be worried about the fate of the heroine in the film: on the one hand, she mourns her misfortune and angers her, and on the other hand, she is concerned about her future, hoping that she can improve herself.Although this typical domestic violence incident is the man's fault, the weakness of the woman is also the instigator of this mistake.

Woman, why don't you resist?Is it because of love?Love is not the reason for a woman to lose her dignity.Is it because of money?Money is not the reason why women lack power.Is it because of physiology?Physiology is not the reason for women to be weak.In this world, everyone is an independent individual with an independent spirit and independent power.

I have seen such a sentence: "As soon as a woman is independent, God laughs." Why does God laugh?Is it really because of women's independence?No, it's not.Women have the right to be independent, and women need to rely on themselves, but women are often not thorough in this regard.American poetess Sarah Merton once said: "For men, there are careers, dignity, rights, and joys; but for women, there are only duties, family, virtue, and the joy of quiet obedience." From this point of view, many people's so-called female independence revolves around the male world, so how can women be truly independent?
There are two such women, one is a single rich woman worth hundreds of millions of dollars, settled in the United States, lives in a luxurious villa, and has countless employees.But she said to a poor friend of hers: "Look, is my life a failure? I'm so poor that I don't even have a man who loves me. At this point, I finally understand that success or failure is measured by men of!"

Another woman has a boyfriend who loves deeply, and she also lives in a mansion with her boyfriend, but her boyfriend fell in love with another woman at first sight when he was on a business trip in Japan, and finally abandoned her, leaving the woman alone in the empty house, crying all day long wash your face.

In these two stories, whether they succeed or fail, their lives are not harmonious, because they have not really gotten rid of their dependence on men and have not achieved their true independence.

In fact, true independence can be understood as continuous self-improvement and continuous promotion of self-improvement.It is finally reflected in modern women's desire and pursuit of spiritual independence after relatively rich material life.Independence is not about how much property you have, or how much you love a man.A woman can only truly rely on herself when she is free of her dependence on men.Women's independence is spiritual and absolutely not attached to anyone.

Women in their twenties, if they always want to rely on others, they will be controlled by others; if they always want to rely on the protection of others, they will never be able to become stronger.Only by being self-reliant and self-improving, can you develop a strong ability and unyielding will, and you can overcome even the greatest difficulties you encounter.

Put aside the crutches and be self-reliant. Many women in life have achieved extraordinary results by relying on their own efforts.Try bravely, I believe you can also be independent!
recipe for happiness
For a woman in her twenties, if she wants to live a wonderful life, she must be a tree instead of a vine, be self-reliant and not rely on others.Only by being self-reliant can you steer the voyage of destiny and dominate your own life.

Relying on men is worse than relying on work
In this society, men are not very reliable, women love to love themselves first and foremost, and work is the most effective way to care for themselves and ensure their happiness.

Back then, Zhuo Wenjun did not hesitate to give up his status as the daughter of a rich family, and eloped with the penniless Sima Xiangru.After returning to Chengdu with Sima Xiangru, facing the situation of being destitute, she went back to her hometown in Linqiong to open a wine shop, selling wine by herself.

Later, Emperor Wu of the Han came to the throne, and Sima Xiangru was appreciated by the emperor, and he was promoted to a noble position, which can be described as a proud spring breeze.Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun also separated for five years.In the past five years, Sima Xiangru has achieved fame and prosperity, but he has gradually forgotten the true love between husband and wife, and wants to divorce Zhuo Wenjun and marry Maoling beauty.

Zhuo Wenjun was looking forward to her husband's family letter day and night, but unexpectedly, the family letter she was looking forward to had only written thirteen numbers: "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, hundred, thousand, Ten thousand." The clever Zhuo Wenjun understood her husband's meaning at a glance: the lack of "billion" in the number means that her husband has no love for her.

But Zhuo Wenjun is not an ordinary woman after all. Although she hates her husband's fickleness and ungratefulness, she doesn't feel wronged to become the next wife.She wrote back a letter to Sima Xiangru: "After the farewell, the two places love each other. They said March and April, but who knew it was five or six years. I didn't care to play the lyre, there was nothing to pass on the eight-line script, and the nine-link ring was broken from it. The ten-mile long pavilion is eager to see through. All kinds of grievances, thousands of thoughts, and all kinds of helplessness to complain. Thousands of words and thousands of words can't be exhausted, bored and leaning on ten rails. Chongjiu climbs high to see lonely geese, August mid-autumn moon is round and people are not round. In the middle of July, burn incense and candles to ask the sky In June, everyone shakes fans and I feel chills. In May, pomelo blossoms are like fire and cold rain waters the flowers. In April, loquats are yellow. I want to be distracted by the mirror. Break. Hey! Lang, Lang, I wish you would be a woman and I will be a man in the next life."

After Sima Xiangru looked at it, he recalled the true love between the husband and wife in the past, and felt ashamed of Zhuo Wenjun, so he changed his mind and made a great story for a generation.

It can be said that Zhuo Wenjun was lucky, but Qin Xianglian was not so lucky.Serving the elderly parents-in-law and raising the young children at home, but he didn't want his husband to marry a princess, enjoy the glory and wealth, and forget about his parents, wife and children.Qin Xianglian was looking for her husband from thousands of miles away, but she didn't want her husband to be inhumane, so she wanted to kill his wife and son.

Let's talk about Wang Baochuan, the "model of a virgin" who has been passed down through the ages. She doesn't want to be a good daughter of the Xiangfu, but she leaves her hometown to live a poor life with Xue Pinggui.Later, Xue Pinggui conquered the West for 18 years, Wang Baochuan endured hunger and starved, digging wild vegetables to survive, and finally waited for Xue Pinggui who returned home with the princess and secretly checked whether she had always kept her chastity.Later, the husband and wife recognized each other, but Wang Baochuan wanted to work with Princess Daizhan.After all the hardships and sweets came to enjoy the wealth and honor for eighteen days, Wang Baochuan died.I think she can survive 18 years of suffering, but she can't enjoy the wealth and glory.

Since ancient times, there is a lot of love and hatred, and love is always hurt by ruthlessness.Women love selflessly, but are often hurt and abandoned by men's ruthlessness.Although everything cannot be too absolute, there are still many good men in the world, but be prepared for danger in times of peace, women in their twenties must know how to support themselves by work no matter what, and it is absolutely unacceptable to completely depend on men financially and spiritually.Women in their twenties can only guarantee happiness if they work hard.Love needs a material foundation as a support. Using one’s own salary to support oneself can reduce the burden on men and ensure happiness; and work can give women unique charms—this is a multi-purpose thing, so why are women happy? Instead of?
recipe for happiness
Women in their twenties must know how to support themselves by work anyway, and it is absolutely unacceptable to be completely dependent on men financially and spiritually.Women in their twenties can only guarantee happiness if they work hard.

(End of this chapter)