I used to cry in the middle of the night, wanting to talk to you about life

Chapter 2
1
On January 2006, 1, Beijing finally had a heavy snowfall.Five cars collided under the Xiaojiahe Bridge, which was described vividly by the host of the traffic broadcast in a storytelling tone.The driver of the Xiaoliu road I was sitting in turned the radio to the loudest, and the passengers in the car echoed the host's teasing and laughed heartlessly together, adding some vitality to this cold Thursday.Beijing in winter is really fun.

I don't know what Xiao Yi is doing now, since her husband picked her up from our class reunion in a Jetta, I seem to have never heard from her again.When I was lying on the dirty seat on Xiaoliu Road and listening to a group of silly X giggling, when I stayed in my second child's Buick and listened to the CD we recorded when we graduated and wept silently, when I was in Longqing Gorge When I fell bruised and swollen from skiing for the first time, when I ate the garbage set meal of Chengdu snacks, when I sneezed, when I hung the bottle, when I was paid, when I had the habit of menstruation When I have diarrhea, when I have sex with a girl who is not you, I don't even know what you are doing, you know, Xiaoyi?

On January 2006, 1, I was no longer the boyfriend of Comrade Ke Yiyi.We will no longer eat together, shop, play cards, watch DVDs, kiss, make love, argue and torture each other; we will no longer have to press the teeth of a toy shark to decide who does the dishes tonight; Put a folded star in a glass jar by the bed once more; I will no longer actively bring the fattest piece of my shoulder to your mouth for you to bite; When I put my hand on your chest for your unnecessary blocking, I told me that you are actually a B cup, and that you will be bigger after giving birth, maybe you can reach a C cup, and then I laughed mercilessly.

2
One year after we broke up with Xiaoyi, I came to Beijing to start drifting north, and lived in Building 31 of Xima Manor on the edge of Tongzhou.

Half a year before we broke up with Xiaoyi, I graduated from university and came to Nanjing. Before leaving, my second child, Brother Bao, Xu Ning, Xiao Ma, and Wei Xing smashed three boxes of beer bottles that had just been emptied at the gate of the school. Cry in a ball.

Four and a half years before I broke up with Xiaoyi, I came to Changsha the day after Zhang Jun robbed the bank. I saw that the shopping malls were heavily guarded, and the main road of the city, Wuyi Road, had a huge billboard empty. Several pieces were empty.

Six and a half years before we broke up with Xiaoyi, I held Xiaojing's hand for the first time. I felt that holding hands was really happy. If I had the opportunity, I would hold hands again next Sunday.

In the 11 years before I broke up with Xiaoyi, I failed an exam for the first time in my life, and it was snowing that day, which seemed similar to what I saw in Beijing on January 2006, 1.

I have told Xiao Yi about these things.I like to tell Xiaoyi about my past, just like Xiaoyi likes to talk about our future.We often talked all night in bed, I said I was tired, she said, she said I was tired, and when we both said we were tired, we would watch TV, interspersed with one or two sex.When we had sex, we still maintained the language habits of the two of us. I summed up the past, and she imagined the future.

3
The second child of my friend, his current unit is next to the neighborhood where I live. Like Xiao Yi, he is my college classmate and has known me for almost six years.Since I came to Beijing, the two of us have resumed the life we ​​had in Changsha as long as we could be together, and this kind of life can always remind me of Xiao Yi's existence.I'm sure if Xiao Yi is the Eve that God arranged for me to eat apples with me, then the second child is the snake that tempted us, and the worm in the apple is the apple knife, the fruit plate, the detergent, and the one who forks the fruit Toothpicks, trash bags for apple cores, even that toilet that you poop after eating an apple.In short, he is like a shadow and occupies an important position in the lives of Xiaoyi and me.

Xiaoyi used to like to tease me and my second child very much during meals, saying that we were married in the previous life, if it wasn’t for the second child who was born into a man by mistake in this life, she would never be able to take me away from the second child no matter what of.Once the second child retorted why Fang Peng was born in the wrong birth?Xiaoyi said: "Fang Peng is a man, I know it." After she finished speaking, she suddenly put her hand between my legs, grabbed me through my trousers, and asked loudly: "Fang Peng, tell me, who was the one in your last life?" Man?" The first time she did this, I sprayed all the pork liver I was chewing on the rice bowl in front of me.So Brother Bao and the others started to laugh, and Xiao Yi proudly looked at the embarrassing expressions of my second child and me. After I admitted that I was a man in my previous life, I let go, put my arms around my neck and kissed me hard, then lowered her head and blushed. With a self-chirping smile on his face, he was as cute as a goblin.This is the repertoire of every gathering we have. As long as we are [-]% drunk, everyone will start to mention my marriage with my second child in my previous life.

The show ended one night after I had an illegal cohabitation with Xiao Yi.That day I was exhausted from playing football, so I went to bed very early, but Ke Yiyi was in high spirits, and woke me up by kissing me at 12 o'clock, and asked me to notify the Second Artillery Corps for first-level combat readiness.She jumped to take a shower and came back, I was still in a dazed state, she slid into the bed like jelly and hugged me from behind, so I struggled to turn around and hugged that soft body, affectionately He yelled softly: "Second..."

In fact, what I wanted to call at the time was "wife".

As a result, from then on, she never made fun of me and my second child, and never allowed me to be alone with my second child. If I must be alone, I must open the door of the room.

4
Originally, I wanted to put this text in the back, as the most special sex scene in this book, to give it a lot of color.But I really can't express the deep love between me and my second child in other plain words. If I don't introduce him, I can't introduce my fucking school; if I don't introduce my fucking school, I can't introduce me and classmate Ke Yiyi acquaintance, then the following story will not unfold.Everyone can only see a dazed and inexplicably painful person talking and behaving strangely and looking crazy in office buildings, rental houses, bars, playgrounds, bathrooms, and shops in Beijing.Everyone will say: Damn, which idiot wrote this stupid thing?
So I moved up the sex scene to bring out my fucking college life.ready, go.

5
I was a very good very good student, and that was a long, long time ago.At that time, I surrendered to the tyranny of my father, Director Fang. Since elementary school, I got up on time, went to school on time, left school on time, came home on time, did my homework on time, watched TV on time, went to bed on time, and got up on time again. .This biological clock chain is very complete, perfect, and stubborn. Although there may be some problems in the link of "leaving school on time" from time to time, Director Fang will use the link of "watching TV on time" to adjust it back.Day after day, I lived a life of obedience without complaint or regret. There was no great joy or sorrow, except for the occasional carelessness that caused me to receive the first round of violence from the teacher and the second round of violence from my father after the exam.

As a primary school student in the 20s, I don’t have "Joking about Qianlong", "Snow Mountain Flying Fox", "Transformers" and "Dinosaur Express Kesai" in my memory; The images, such as Dad’s short-sleeved Dacron shirt and strong forearm muscles when he waved a feather duster, Mom’s light blue pleated skirt and big watery eyes when he stopped Dad from beating me, are very beautiful in my later memories. .Of course, everything else is pain.

Many people have told me that all suffering will end when you get into college.

My father, Director Fang, was a worker-peasant-soldier college student at Nanjing University. Although he did not study a major, the diploma in his hand was quite solid, and it helped my dad become a director.So there is an essential difference between me and many children in my era who didn’t decide to go to university until after the university’s enrollment expanded and expanded again. I was destined to go to university from birth.My dad has a box, one and a half meters long and one meter wide, made of pure cowhide, durable.This box used to contain salted vegetables and dry food and the admission notice of Nantah University. My father carried it to his dormitory. Four years later, it contained countless books and my mother’s jade photos and returned to my hometown. Since then, it has been placed in our house. clean place.As long as I can remember, my dad often took me to that huge box to show me how hard I had worked in college, and said that when I was admitted to university, he would give me this box so that I could pack my luggage and go to Nantah University.Because the box was too heavy, he never opened it for me.Later, I was admitted to Nanjing University, but it was not Nanjing University, but Nanhu University in Hunan.Dad just took out the box that hadn't been moved for more than ten years and opened it, and moved the books inside to another big newly bought box one by one.For the first time, I saw so many textbooks of Chinese classical literature and Mao Zedong Thought covered in handwriting. I also saw a palm-sized notebook, which contained messages written to him by my dad’s college classmates when they graduated. These are some clichés of confrontation, and only the photos truly record their appearance at that time.

On the day my dad opened the box, I saw my mom coughing from the cooking fumes in the kitchen, and I suddenly felt sorry for her.It turns out that there are not only mother's jade photos in father's box, but also some other people's photos.

But at least at that time, my longing for university was no longer limited to freedom, nobility, and bullshit. Suddenly, there were more ambiguous peaches in the ivory tower, and every time I thought of it, it would make my heart bump wildly.As it turned out, of all my guesses about the university, this was the only one that was more accurate. In September 2000, when I was sitting on the bus picking up freshmen at Nanhu University, when the bus was turning into the campus in the sputtering summer rain, all the Internet cafes, bars, restaurants, hotels, billiard rooms, and video game houses along the campus were in my field of vision When they light up their signboards for the first time, when all the umbrellas under the signboards hold two people, a man and a woman, when those men and women are kissing unscrupulously under the umbrellas, I tell you, my heart is blossoming; when I see When I saw my father's livid face reflected in the glass, let me tell you, my heart blossomed.

6
Director Fang helped me complete all the things that I needed to do for the report. I always suspected that this was what he wanted to do from the bottom of his heart.If it can be exchanged, my dad must want me to go back to my hometown to work for him, while he stays by himself, sleeps in with my classmates, surfs the Internet, plays football, copies homework, plays MM and skips classes...or he is not like that What he thought, he just wanted to go to class, get out of class, study and exercise.No matter what he thinks, he must want to stay with me anyway, otherwise my dad would not be trembling with excitement when he received a set of high-priced and low-quality bedding.

I was assigned to Room 1, Building 121, Boys' Dormitory.Here, my dad tried everything possible to spread the mats issued by the school on the beds that didn't match the model at all, and then found some bamboo poles to hang the mosquito nets.At the same time, there is a middle-aged and elderly man in the room who is solemnly dressed, with thick eyebrows and big eyes, and who is good enough to be a deputy county magistrate based on his appearance. He is educating his son, saying nonsense like "don't fool around".His son listened carefully and acted very sincerely; my dad curled up on the upper bunk where I could bang my head against the wall when I sat up straight, approving frequently while working, and sometimes chiding me with reprimands.The boy who was on the edge of being fat or not fat turned his head and glanced at me. It was this look full of sympathy, understanding, pleading for help, and gloating that I quickly found a resonance.This person is the second child, named Zhao Guoyong.After all his dads went out, he dug out a crumpled bag of Zhongnanhai from his bulging schoolbag, threw one to me without asking, and lit one himself, taking a deep breath: "Suffocate!" Old man, hoo..."

"I'm suffocating to death" is a sentence that the second child says most often, because he really often suffocates to death.He not only has a sexual desire but also a cigarette addiction, and even his stomach is not very good.Living in a state of depression for a long time, a large pimple appeared on his left and right cheeks.The second child has always been envious of my skin, especially after he learned that I was a child who was depressed like him, he couldn't understand why I could have such white, pink and fluffy skin.I kept my secret for a long time and didn't tell him my secret, until one day he bribed me with the dormitory number of a beautiful woman, in exchange for the answer: "Masturbation."

In fact, I didn’t know why I never had acne until a high school classmate who later became a gynecologist told me at a party that masturbation is the “Muji product” for acne and insomnia. I found the theoretical basis for my skin to be as smooth as fat.

The second child froze for a moment after hearing this, "Damn, don't fool me."

While copying that beauty's number in the address book, I said nonchalantly, "Maybe it's because I'm naturally beautiful, who knows?"

The second child said: "It's not like I haven't masturbated before, why is it still long?"

I said, "That's your reason."

Later, "masturbation to cure acne" became a well-known secret in the school.The second child did this: he said to everyone who admired my skin in a very emotional tone: "Fang Peng's masturbation work is still good."

7
On the first day of school, I watched my dad get on the bus to the train station, walked back to the dormitory, took a shower with cold water, took off the Jeanswest striped T-shirt, and put on a military training uniform that looked like a Vietnamese military uniform , and then under the leadership of the instructor, go to the gymnasium to attend the opening ceremony. (I don’t know what the rules are. At the opening ceremony, you have to wear a military uniform, sit upright, and not move at all.) So I just sat with my head held high and my chest upright, while quietly comforting the pain of homesickness that gradually became real. , listening to the school leaders at all levels on the rostrum speaking in local dialects.

After the meeting, the second brother insisted on buying me milk tea.When we got to the school gate, we were blocked back, saying that freshmen were not allowed to leave the school gate.So we walked back and found that the instructors were inspecting the internal affairs, and we were arrested again, and each of us had an inspection.

8
At 10:[-] a.m. on the second week of the military training, the dormitory supervisor once again cut off the electricity in all the dormitories on time.This day in Changsha was extremely sweltering, I took two cold showers and still couldn't fall asleep.The second child has more fat than me, so it is even more unbearable. After flushing under the faucet for more than an hour, a layer of skin fell off and I still don't want to come out.I couldn't sleep, so I got out of bed and wandered in the corridor. When I reached the entrance of the corridor, I suddenly found that the shutter door of the dormitory building was not closed!It turned out that the dormitory auntie herself couldn't bear the heat, so she opened the shutter door halfway for ventilation.So I ran to the water room to tell my second brother the great news, and he smiled: "Damn it, let's go."

The two of us quickly changed into normal clothes, tiptoed to the door of the dormitory management department, and sneaked a peek inside against the wall. Aunt Zhang, the dormitory supervisor, was snoring on a chair.So my second child and I climbed out of the dormitory building at the speed of thunder and jingle bells, and came to the spacious road.

"The door for people to come in and out is locked, and the hole for dogs to crawl out is wide open, and a voice shouts: Climb out, and you are set free."

"I yearn for freedom, but I also know that how can a human body crawl out of a dog's hole? So I got out, not crawled out!"

"I hope that one day, the underground fire will burn both of us together with this living coffin, and we should be able to escape in the fire and blood!"

"Ha ha ha ha……"

(End of this chapter)