I used to cry in the middle of the night, wanting to talk to you about life

Chapter 37 You Are My Drop of Sweat (6)
I secretly rejoiced that my purpose of this trip was mainly to accompany Brother Bao. With my parents' positions, even if I couldn't stay in Nanjing, I could at least find a decent job in my hometown.It felt like having a nightmare and waking up to realize it was just a dream.But Brother Bao is different, he is still in the nightmare, and he doesn't know when he will come out.

In the past few days with Brother Bao, I don’t know what kind of mental journey my dad has gone through, because he helped me get that job done before, and he didn’t move around much for other things. When I got home again, my dad's hair was much grayer. He looked at me with an embarrassed expression, and said to me in a strange tone: "The provincial TV station is recruiting, go and have a look for an interview."

In the end, my job went around and I went to the TV station, but I was just a renter who didn't even have a provident fund.

29
The day of graduation is getting closer, and the fragrance of maple and poplar can no longer conceal the smell of gardenias. We know that the day of parting is getting closer.

Xu Ning signed with Shenzhen UnionPay, and Zhang Qian signed with a commercial bank in Guizhou.Wei Xing returned to Lanzhou, and the second child returned to Beijing. They both found good jobs at home.Bao Ge settled in an insurance company in Zhejiang, starting from the most basic group training.Xiao Ma was going to a securities company in Guangzhou. Half a month before graduation, Zina came to see Xiao Ma. We all thought they were saying goodbye, because we said goodbye when we graduated, and we would never see each other again in this life .The two stood at the door of the boys' dormitory talking, and the rest of us waited in 121 while playing mahjong. After more than ten minutes, Xiao Ma came back.

"Hey, you didn't even kiss goodbye? We watched for so long." Wei Xing likes to squeeze ponies.

"Zina wants to return Xiaoguai to me."

"Who?"

"Little boy, it's just the dog I gave it."

"Why?"

"She is going to Beijing to develop, saying that Beijing is strictly controlled, and it is impossible to take Xiaoguai there."

"Damn, why are you going to Beijing?" The second child scolded, "She doesn't know if you're not staying in Changsha, why don't you take a dog with you!"

"You agreed?" Wei Xing continued to ask.

"I'll take it back to Loudi first, and let my parents raise it."

"Why are you so cheap! Where's Feng Bo? Let Feng Bo take it back to Sichuan!"

"never mind."

"Why?"

"After all, I gave it to her, and I want to come back."

"You..." Wei Xing was so angry that he didn't know what to say. He smashed the mahjong in his hand on the ground, rushed to the balcony, and shouted in the direction of the door of the dormitory area, "Zina... you Bitch..."

"You're so sick!" Xiao Ma rushed up and punched Wei Xing in the back. The two of them wrestled. It took us a long time to break them apart. The two men looked at each other and hugged each other. Crying with a headache.

I don't know why we had so many tears that summer, whether it was parting, sadness, or despair.

30
But during this time, I never saw Ke Yiyi cry.She just accompanied me silently, accompanied me to write the script of the graduation party, accompany me to rehearse, accompany me to perform, accompany me to participate in various breakup meals, accompany me to meet different people who want to meet again, and even I go to say goodbye to Chen Chen She was by my side when we were together, but when I took a photo with Chen Chen, she hid aside and didn't take pictures for us.Every time I ask Xiao Yi if there is any place or person you want to meet, I will go with you.Xiao Yi would shake her head and say, "No, I will stay here for two more years."

Only the day before I was about to leave Changsha, Xiaoyi said to me: "Grandpa, can you accompany me to Luoyang Street?" Small shops and snack bars, this is almost Ke Yiyi's favorite place. When I am not with her, she will bring Zhang Qian to play.When we went there that day, Fallen Street was still bustling as usual. Xiaoyi and I went in through the entrance of the Normal University. Xiaoyi didn't buy food or shop along the way, so he dragged me into the photo shop. , That day we took more than ten photoshoots in different photoshops, until my expression was numb, tired, bored, and I didn’t want to take any more photos.She just took pictures by herself, laughing, crying, kissing, and beating people... Then, in a McDonald's, we pasted two to three hundred small cut-out stickers on a sticker that could be peeled off at any time. on the notebook.While posting it, she said: "Grandpa, in fact, if you go back to Nanjing, you can write me a love letter. You haven't written a love letter to me yet. If you write a good one, I will paste a letter on the envelope." Smiley faces, if I’m not satisfied, put a sad face. If there are more sad faces than smiling faces, I won’t marry you.”

I can still remember this passage clearly, as if it just happened yesterday.

But at the time after graduation, I almost forgot.I didn't write a few love letters to Xiaoyi, and she didn't send me a picture of a crying face.After deciding not to love me anymore, she never sent me any more letters.

31
I was the first to leave the school because the TV station called me and said that there was a big event to be launched and that manpower was urgently needed.So I didn't even go to graduation, and the fourth day after I got the call, I was gone.

The night before I left, I drank and sang all night long.I don’t know what kind of project was done that year. The Xiangjiang River was intercepted, and there was not a drop of water under the entire Xiangjiang River Bridge. At 6 o’clock in the morning, Xiaoyi and I were holding hands, and the second child, Xu Ning, and Brother Bao, There are also Wei Xing, Xiao Ma, Wang Jia, and Zhang Qian. We held hands, sang songs, and walked across the bottom of the Xiangjiang River from east to west.The bottom of the river is not flat, we were stumbling along, without flashlights, we had to rely on the distant streetlights on the Xiangjiang River Bridge to tell the direction.When I was in the middle, I looked up at the bridge. Although it was early in the morning, there were still many cars on the bridge, driving from Hedong to Hexi, and from Hexi to Hedong.Four years ago, it was the school bus of Nanhu University that pulled us across the Xiangjiang Bridge to the campus where we spent the best four years of youth, but now, when we want to say goodbye to it, it is in our Overhead, there were still cars coming and going, and I looked at it as if everything had just begun.

When we got back to the campus, we didn’t sleep, because the train I took was after 1 pm. Everyone took the time to take pictures with point-and-shoot cameras everywhere on the campus, such as classrooms, dormitories, playgrounds, cafeterias, supermarkets, water rooms, stairs, Newsposts, flagpoles, fences, telephone booths... We fill every photo with all of us, even if we can't see the expressions or faces clearly, we have to put everyone in the same picture.Because all the scenery is meaningless, the so-called university is me and us together.

After the filming was almost done, we walked outside the school gate, and Xiao Yi took a picture of our backs from behind.

Youth has long since faded away, but this photo has been preserved to this day, and now it is still the desktop pattern of my computer.

32
When I left, there was no goodbye.We moved all the four boxes of beer bottles that we drank at "Lao He Qi" to the main entrance of the school. I raised the first bottle, pointed it high at the sky, wiped away my tears, and shouted "Let's go!" , and then threw the bottle out forcefully, the glass bottle streaked across the halo of the sun, smashed hard on the concrete floor at the school gate, and was blown to pieces.The second child and the others also picked up the beer bottles one by one, yelling "Let's go" one after another, and then threw them out and smashed them.

The beer bottles exploded one after another, and the glass fragments scattered all over the place. The security guards at the school gate all came out, but no one stepped forward to stop us.We smashed all the wine bottles like this, and they left the last one for me. Before I smashed it, I turned around and bowed to everyone, "Thank you guys! Fang Peng, let's go!" The empty wine bottle hit the ground, grabbed the luggage, rushed into a black car that was pulling work, and closed the door, "Go to the train station!"

The black car started and drove out quickly.

The second child and the others didn't expect me to leave like this, so they hurriedly searched for a car to chase me. Even the younger brothers and sisters who didn't intend to send me to the station were infected by the sad atmosphere and stopped all kinds of black people from going to the station.When I arrived, I had already boarded the train with my luggage. They bought a platform ticket and rushed to the platform. They could only yell "Silly X" at me in the window, crying while shouting.I threw myself on the window of the green leather car, weeping, and responded to them: "Silly, you are all stupid!"

Because my eyes were already blurred by tears, I didn't see Xiao Yi's figure very clearly, but the second child told me later that Xiao Yi had been chasing my train to the end that day, crying so badly.At that time, we didn't break up, but only separated temporarily, but Xiao Yi cried like a parting life and death.As she told me on the eve of the wedding, she knew that if I left, we wouldn't be able to.

33
My little elf, my God, you are wearing my white T-shirt standing by the window, looking at the trees in the school, the river downstairs in the rental house has become surging, your hair is flying with the wind, I feel I've been watching this moment for the rest of my life.

34
At the end of this book, let me briefly talk about how Xiaoyi and I broke up.

When I came to Nanjing, I was like a rooster that had been injected with chicken blood. I was doing a job I liked, and I wanted to work 24 hours a day.Now I always say to those couples who have just started a long-distance relationship, never just be wary of the opposite sex around the other half, but ignore those high-sounding but exhausting things, such as work, such as study, such as computer games, they are very important to you. The emotional impact is no less than an affair.When I first started working, my mind was full of so-called ideals, and I felt that I was fulfilling a glorious mission in everything I did.Now that I think about it, the mission is a fart. Most of that excitement comes from freshness and joy. Work is really fun, especially a job that is not boring and can satisfy vanity.I shoot films, write scripts, meet all kinds of top men and women who have signed up for talent shows all day long, and I enjoy it day and night.

And Xiaoyi showed more and more worries about our relationship, and sent me text messages more and more frequently, talking about trivial things, or simply "Mr., what are you doing?" "Mr., Come on, tell me you love me!" In my college days, when I was in an Internet cafe or playing mahjong, I would text her back to coax her no matter how annoying I was, but at work, I was overwhelmed by a sense of mission, responsibility, and honor. For me, I would always pick up my mobile phone and look at it, then throw it aside and ignore it. After a while, Xiao Yi would call, and I would say to her in an extremely impatient tone, "I'm at work!"

"I'm at work!" This is the sentence I said the most before breaking up with Xiaoyi.

If you are a woman, please remember not to marry three kinds of people - gamblers, wife beaters and workaholics.All workaholics are extremely selfish and narcissistic, and they can have tremendous pleasure in their own busyness and don't need you at all.They have big ideals, and there is no place for you in that ideal.Yes, I am one of them, I can imagine the mansion I built by closing my eyes, and those who always dream of mansions, who would want to describe that small home?

From graduation to another September, I was working, Xiao Yi... I don't know, or I don't remember what Xiao Yi did before the graduate school started.The two of us became increasingly distant and had little contact.The only memory I have of those days is that Xiaoyi told me that someone was chasing her, and it was a little kebab boss at the school gate.The little boss said to Xiaoyi: "Don't think I'm a kebab guy, I'm greasy and dirty, but I earn 9 to 1000 yuan a month!" The monthly income is only around 10,000, so I was indignant about that figure, and I said to Xiao Yi, "I will work hard, and when I become a producer, I will earn [-]+ a year!" Xiao Yi smiled, "Don't work all the time. Workers, if I want money, I’ll go to the kebab guy.” I didn’t take it seriously, “If I don’t have money, why would I marry you! How can I buy a car or a house! I want to give my woman the best life!”

Xiao Yi said, "Is that woman me?"

(End of this chapter)