Samayoi

Chapter 11 The Lonely Man (1)
Wei Lianshu and I got acquainted once, but in retrospect, it's strange, it actually started with the funeral and ended with the funeral.

I was in Sancheng at that time, and I heard people mention his name from time to time, and they all said that he was a bit weird: he studied zoology, but went to a middle school to teach history; he was always indifferent to people, But he often likes to meddle in other people's business; he often says that the family should be destroyed, but once he gets his salary, he must send it to his grandmother immediately without delay.In addition, there are many fragmentary stories; in short, in 3 cities, he can be regarded as a person who can be used as a conversation aid.One autumn, I stayed at a relative's house in Hanshishan; their surname was Wei, and they belonged to Lian Shu's family.But they didn't understand him even more, as if they treated him as a foreigner, saying that he was "different from us".

This is not surprising. Although China has established schools for 20 years, Hanshishan does not even have a primary school.In Quanshan Village, only Lian Shu is a student studying abroad, so from the perspective of the villagers, he is indeed an outlier; but they are also very envious, saying that he earns a lot of money.

At the end of autumn, dysentery was prevalent in the mountain villages; I was in danger and wanted to go back to the city.At that time, I heard that Lian Shu's grandmother had contracted the disease, and she was very heavy because of her old age. There was no doctor in the mountains.The so-called family members actually have only one grandmother, who employs a female worker to live a simple life; he lost his parents when he was young, so he was raised by this grandmother.I heard that she had suffered a lot before, but now she is at ease.But because he doesn't have a small family, the family is very lonely after all, and this is probably one of the so-called abnormalities.

Hanshi Mountain is [-] miles away from the city by dry road and [-] miles by waterway. It takes at least four days for people to go there by Lian Shu.The mountain village is remote, and these things are considered big news that everyone wants to inquire about. The next day, it was reported that she was seriously ill, and the special mission also set off; but at the fourth watch, she died, and the last words were: " Why don't you give me a chance to die?"

The head of the patriarch, neighbors, relatives of his grandmother's mother's family, and idlers gathered in a room, anticipating the arrival of Lian Shi, and it should be time for encoffining.The shroud has already been made, so there is no need to plan; their first problem is how to deal with this "grandson", because it is expected that he will have to change all funeral ceremonies.After the discussion, three major conditions were probably agreed upon, and he must do it.One is to wear white, the other is to bow down, and the third is to invite monks and priests to do things.All in all: it's business as usual.

After they had reached an agreement, they agreed that on the day Lian Shu arrived home, they would gather together in front of the hall, line up in formation, support each other, and try their best to have a very serious negotiation.The villagers all swallowed their saliva and waited for the news with novelty; they knew that Lian Shu was "eating foreign religion"

The "new party" of China has always been unreasonable, and the struggle between the two sides will probably start, or it may even lead to a surprising spectacle.

Legend has it that Lian Shu arrived home in the afternoon, and as soon as he entered the door, he just bent over to his grandmother's grave.The patriarchs immediately proceeded according to the predetermined plan, called him to the hall, first said a long story, and then introduced the main topic, and everyone sang and talked, so that he had no chance to argue. .But finally he finished speaking, silence filled the hall, and everyone stared at his mouth in horror.Seeing that Lian Shu didn't move, he simply replied:
"It is all acceptable."

This was very unexpected for them. The burden on everyone's hearts was relieved, but it seemed to be aggravated, and they felt that it was too "weird", which seemed to be something to worry about.Villagers who inquired about the news were also very disappointed, and they spread word of mouth, "It's strange! He said 'it's all right'! Let's see!" After dusk, Xinxinran gathered in front of the hall.

I was also the one who went to see it, and I gave a set of incense candles first; when I got to his house, I saw Lian Shu dressing the dead.It turned out that he was a short and thin man with a square face, with fluffy hair and thick black eyebrows occupying a small half of his face, only his eyes glowed in the black air.The clothes are really well dressed, well-organized, as if he is an expert in embalming, which makes the onlookers feel admiration.

According to Hanshishan's usual practice, at these times, no matter what, the parents of the mother's family are always picky; but he just silently changed his face when he encountered any pickiness, without changing his expression.An old lady with gray hair standing in front of me let out a voice of envy and exclamation.

Followed by worship; followed by crying, all the women are chanting words.Next is to put into the coffin; next is worship; and weeping until the coffin lid is nailed.After a moment of silence, everyone was disturbed suddenly, full of surprise and dissatisfaction.I couldn't help but suddenly felt: Lian Shu never shed a single tear, he just sat on the grass pedestal, his eyes sparkling in the black air.

The funeral ended in this atmosphere of surprise and dissatisfaction.Everyone was disconsolate, as if they wanted to leave, but Lian Shu was still sitting on the straw meditating.Suddenly, he shed tears, then lost his voice, and immediately turned into a long howl, like a wounded wolf howling in the wilderness in the middle of the night, the pain was mixed with anger and sorrow.This appearance was not in the usual practice, and it was not prevented before. Everyone was at a loss. After hesitating for a while, a few people stepped forward to dissuade him. More and more people crowded him into a big pile.But he just sat and wailed, motionless like an iron tower.

Everyone had to disperse bored again; he cried and cried for about half an hour, then suddenly stopped, did not greet the hangers-on, and went straight to the house.Then there were reports from snoopers: he went into his grandmother's room, lay down on the bed, and seemed to be fast asleep.

Two days later, the day before I was going to return to the city, I heard that the villagers were talking like a demon, saying that Lian Shu would burn most of all the utensils to his grandmother, and the rest would be donated to serve in life. , the female worker who died when she died, and even the house was lent to her indefinitely.Relatives and family members all talked about the burning tongue and burning lips, but finally they couldn't stop it.

I'm afraid most of it was out of curiosity. I passed by his door on the way home, so I stopped by to comfort him.He appeared in a white coat with fringe, and his expression was still the same, cold.I was very comforted, but he only answered one sentence other than promises, which was:

"Thank you for your kindness."

The third time we met was at the beginning of winter of this year, in a bookstore in Sancheng, everyone nodded at the same time, finally we got to know each other.But what brought us closer was after I lost my job at the end of the year.Since then, I have often visited Lian Shu.

One, naturally because of boredom; two, because I heard people say that he is very close to frustrated people, even though his nature is so cold.

But the world is full of ups and downs, and frustrated people don't know it. As soon as I voted for my business card, he received it.There are no furnishings in the two connected living rooms, just some bookshelves besides the tables and chairs. Although everyone says he is a terrible "new party", there are not many new books on the shelves.He already knew that I lost my job; but as soon as the routine was finished, the host and guest had to face each other in silence, which gradually became dull.I saw him smoking a cigarette very quickly, and the cigarette butt was about to burn his fingers before throwing it on the ground.

"Smoking." He said suddenly as he reached for the second cigarette.

I also took one, sucked it, and talked about teaching and books, but it still felt dull.When I was about to leave, there was noise and footsteps outside the door, and four boys and girls broke in.The older one is eight or nine years old, and the younger one is four or five years old. Their hands, face and clothes are dirty and ugly.But Lian Shu's eyes immediately shone with joy, he stood up quickly, walked to the room next to the living room, and said:
"Da Liang, Er Liang, come here! I've already bought the harmonica you asked for yesterday."

The children rushed in together, and immediately rushed out, each playing a harmonica. As soon as they left the living room door, they started playing for no reason.One was crying.

"One for each person, they are all the same. Don't fight!" He also followed behind.

"Who is this group of children?" I asked.

"The owner's. None of them have a mother, only a grandmother."

"Is the landlord alone?"

"Yes. His wife probably died for three or four years, and she didn't remarry. ——Otherwise, he would not rent out the remaining house to a single person like me." He smiled coldly as he spoke.

I really want to ask him why he is still single, but because I don't know him very well, I can't ask him in the end.

As long as you are familiar with Lian Shuyi, you can talk with him.He talked a lot, and often quite strangely.What makes people impatient is that some of his visitors, most of whom have read "Sinking", often call themselves "unfortunate youths" or "surplus people", lazily and proudly piled on the big chair like crabs, Sighing, smoking while frowning.And the house-owner's children, who were always arguing with each other, knocking over dishes, begging for snacks, and getting dizzy.But when Lian Shu saw them, he was no longer as cold as usual, and regarded them as more precious than his own life.I heard that once, Sanliang suffered from erythematous shackles, and the blackness on his face became more and more anxious. Unexpectedly, the disease was mild, so he was later passed on as a laughing stock by the children's grandmothers.

"Children are always good. They are all innocent..." He seemed to feel that I was a little impatient, so he took the opportunity to say to me one day.

"Not really." I just answered him casually.

"No. The bad temper of adults is not found in children. The later bad temper, like the bad temper you attack on weekdays, was taught to be bad by the environment. It was not bad in the first place, naive... I thought China could hope, Only at this point."

"No. If there are no bad roots and seedlings in the child, how can there be bad flowers and fruits when they grow up? For example, a seed can produce these things when it grows up because it contains the embryos of branches, leaves, flowers and fruits. Is it for no reason... ..." Since I had nothing to do, I was reading Buddhist scriptures, just like adults and gentlemen who want to eat vegetarian food and talk about Zen when they leave the wilderness.Naturally, I don't understand the principles of Buddhism, but I don't check myself, and just say it arbitrarily.

However, Lian Shu became angry, and only glanced at me, but didn't speak anymore.I can't guess whether he has nothing to say, or whether he doesn't bother to argue.But seeing him show the cold attitude that I haven't seen for a long time, I silently smoked two cigarettes in a row; when he took the third one, I had no choice but to run away.

It took three months for this hatred to dissipate.The reason is probably half because of forgetting, and half because he himself was hated by the "innocent" child, so he felt that my blasphemy towards the child was justifiable.But that's just speculation on my part.At that time, after drinking in my apartment, he seemed to show a slight sadness, half raised his head and said:

"It's really strange to think about it. When I came to you, I saw a very small child on the street. He pointed at me with a reed leaf and said: Kill him! He can't walk very well..."

"It's a bad environment."

I immediately regretted my words.But he didn't seem to mind, just drinking hard and smoking hard in the meantime.

"I forgot, I haven't asked you yet," I said in other words, "You don't usually visit people, so why are you so interested in coming here today? We have known each other for more than a year, and you came to me. It’s the first time I’ve come here.”

"I'm about to tell you: you must not come to see me in my apartment these days. There are a lot of annoying people in my apartment, one big and one small, they don't look like human beings!"

"One big and one small? Who is this?" I was a little surprised.

"It's my cousin and his youngest son. Haha, the son is just like Lao Tzu."

"I came to the city to see you, so I took it with me for fun?"

"No. He said he came to discuss with me, so he will adopt this child to me."

"Oh! Adopted to you?" I couldn't help but exclaimed, "Aren't you still married?"

"They know I'm not going to marry. But it doesn't matter. They're actually going to give me that shabby house in Cold Stone Mountain. I don't have anything else, you know; the money is gone when I get it. Only this." A shabby house. Father and son's life's work is evicting the old maid who lives there."

The coldness of his words really terrified me.But I also consoled him by saying:

"I don't think your family is like this. They are just a little old-fashioned. For example, when you cried a lot that year, they all enthusiastically surrounded you to persuade you..."

"After my father died, they robbed me of my house and asked me to draw monograms on the paper. When I was crying, they were so enthusiastic and tried to persuade me..." He stared upwards, as if to Find out the scene at that time in the air.

"In short: the whole point is that you don't have children. Why on earth have you never been married?" I suddenly found the question of turning the steering wheel, which was also a question I had wanted to ask for a long time, and felt that this was the best opportunity.

He looked at me in surprise, and after a while, his eyes moved to his own knee condyle, so he smoked without answering.

However, even in this kind of boring situation, Lian Shu was not allowed to settle down.Gradually, anonymous people came to attack him in the tabloids, and there were often rumors about him in the academic world, but these were no longer just rumors like before, and probably hurt him.I know this is the result of his recent love of publishing articles, but I don't mind. The people in the 3rd city are the last to want someone to make unscrupulous comments. Whenever there is one, they must secretly attack him. This has always been the case, and even Shu himself knows it.But in the spring, I suddenly heard that he had been dismissed by the principal.This made me feel a bit abrupt; in fact, this has always been the case, but because I hope that the people I know will be spared, I just think it is abrupt, and the people of Sancheng are not particularly evil this time.

At that time, I was busy with my own livelihood, and at the same time I was discussing the matter of going to Sanyang to become a teacher this autumn, so I didn't have time to visit him.When I had some free time, it was almost three months since he was dismissed, but there was no intention of visiting Lian Shu.One day, I passed by the street and stopped by a second-hand bookstall by chance, but I couldn't help but feel horrified, because the first printed edition of Ji Guge "Shi Ji Suo Yin" displayed there was Lian Shu's book.He likes books, but he is not a bibliophile. This kind of book is regarded as a rare and precious book to him, and he is not willing to sell it as a last resort.Could it be that he has been so poor since he was unemployed for two or three months?Although he has always dispersed as soon as he has money, he has no savings.So I decided to visit Lian Shu, and bought a bottle of soju, two packs of peanuts, and two smoked fish heads on the street.

The door of his room was closed, and he called twice, but there was no answer.I suspected that he was asleep, so I screamed louder, and reached out to pat the door.

"Go out!" Daliang's grandmother, the fat woman with triangular eyes, poked out her gray hair from the opposite window, and said loudly, as if impatient.

"Where did it go?" I asked.

"Where did he go? Who knows?—Where can he go? Just wait and see. He'll be back soon."

I opened the door and walked into his living room.It's really "not seeing each other in a day, like three autumns", and the eyes are full of desolation and emptiness. Not only are there not many utensils left, but even the books are only a few foreign-style books that no one will want in Sancheng.The round table in the middle of the room is still there, and it used to be surrounded by melancholy and generous young people, underappreciated talents and dirty and noisy children, but now it is very quiet, with only a thin layer of dust on its face.I put wine bottles and paper bags on the table, dragged a chair over, and sat down by the table facing the door.

Indeed, it was only "for a while", when the door opened, a person came in quietly like a shadow, it was Lian Shu.Maybe it's because of the evening, it seems darker than before, but the expression is still the same.

"Ah! Are you here? How long have you been here?" He seemed to like it a little.

"Not long," I said. "Where have you been?"

"Not going there, but just walking around."

He also drew a chair and sat down at the table; and we began to drink schnapps and talk about his unemployment.But he didn't want to talk about it; he thought it was something he expected, something that happened to him from time to time, nothing to be surprised about, and nothing to talk about.As usual, he just insisted on drinking soju, and still made some comments about society and history.For some reason, I saw the empty bookshelf at this time, and I also remembered the first printed version of "Historical Records Suoyin", and suddenly felt a kind of indifferent loneliness and sadness.

"Your living room is so desolate...haven't there been many guests lately?"

"No more. They thought I was in a bad mood, so it was meaningless to come. A bad mood can really make people uncomfortable. No one goes to the park in winter..."

He drank a couple of sips of wine, thinking silently, and suddenly raised his face to look at me and asked, "Are you still not sure about the career you're planning?"

Although I knew that he was a little drunk, I couldn't help feeling annoyed. I was about to speak, but when he listened, I grabbed a handful of peanuts and went out.Outside the door are the voices of the Daliangs laughing.

But as soon as he went out, the children's voices fell silent, and they seemed to have all gone.He still chased after him and said something, but he didn't hear an answer.He also came back quietly like a shadow, still putting a handful of peanuts in the paper bag.

"Don't even eat my food." He whispered, mockingly.

"Lian Shu," I felt very sad, but forced a smile, and said, "I thought you were asking for trouble too much. You see the world too bad..."

He smiled coldly.

"I'm not finished yet. For us, who occasionally visit you, you also think that because we have nothing to do, we come to you and use you as a source of entertainment?"

"No. But sometimes. Or something to talk about."

"Then you are wrong. People are not like this. You actually made a cocoon with your own hands and wrapped yourself in it. You should see the world better." I said with a sigh.

"Perhaps so. But, you say: where did the silk come from?—Of course, there are such people in the world, for example, my grandmother. Although I didn't share her blood, I might inherit her fate. But it doesn't matter, I have already cried together beforehand..."

I immediately remembered the scene of his grandmother's funeral, as if I was right in front of my eyes.

"I don't always understand your crying at that time..." So Falcon asked abruptly.

"When my grandmother was buried? Yes, you don't understand." He said calmly while lighting the lamp. "Your society with me, I think, is because of crying at that time. You don't know, This grandmother is my father's stepmother; his biological mother died when he was three years old." Thinking, he drank silently and finished a smoked fish head.

(End of this chapter)