The learning methods and training details of Harvard's top students

Chapter 25 Be a good child's first teacher and guide him to learn how to behave (1)
(Harvard representative: Ma Ying-jeou) If you want to be an official and get rich, don't come to Harvard.

- Famous quote from Harvard University
【Wonderful Guide】

Biography of Ma Ying-jeou

Ma Ying-jeou (1950～) was born in Hong Kong, and his ancestral home is Xiangtan County, Hunan.His father, Ma Heling, was a senior official of the Central Committee of the Kuomintang. He instilled in Ma Ying-jeou the traditional Chinese patriotic concepts such as "every man is responsible for the rise and fall of the world" since he was a child. Therefore, Ma Ying-jeou has deep-rooted patriotism and the concept of one China.

In 1981, after Ma Ying-jeou returned to Taiwan from Harvard University in the United States, he was appointed by the Kuomintang as the "First Deputy Director of the Presidential Palace" and Chiang Ching-kuo's English secretary.Ma Ying-jeou not only has a fresh image, a high degree of education, and good eloquence, but also is humble, gentle, and rational, and does not form a party for personal gain, which is deeply liked by Chiang Ching-kuo. In June 1984, Chiang Ching-kuo tried his best to promote Ma Ying-jeou, who was only 6 years old, as the "Deputy Secretary-General of the Central Committee of the Kuomintang". In January 34, Chiang Ching-kuo passed away. After Lee Teng-hui came to power, Ma Ying-jeou was transferred from the "Presidential Palace" and transferred from the party affairs system to the administrative department. ".

In 1993, Ma Ying-jeou was transferred to the "Minister of Justice". During his term of office, he vigorously suppressed corruption, investigated bribes, and cracked down on gangsters, which won the approval of the general public and reached another peak in his political career. In 1998, Ma Ying-jeou was elected mayor of Taipei. On December 2002, 12, Ma Ying-jeou defeated the Democratic Progressive Party candidate Li Yingyuan supported by Chen Shui-bian with more than 7 votes, and successfully re-elected as mayor of Taipei.

In 2003, at the Third Session of the [-]th National Congress of the Kuomintang, Lien Chan nominated Ma Ying-jeou as Vice Chairman, which was approved by the meeting.

In 2005, Ma Ying-jeou was elected as the chairman of the Kuomintang because of his fresh image, strong strength, integrity and governance ability.

【Character Story】

father's nurturing

Ma Heling was born in the National Political University of China. He served as a soldier in Chongqing during the Anti-Japanese War, and later retired as the "Vice Chairman of the Discipline Inspection Committee of the Central Party Committee of the Kuomintang".He devoted all his heart and soul to his only son, Ma Ying-jeou.

When Ma Ying-jeou was studying, Ma Heling often told him about his grandfather's experience of following Dr. Sun Yat-sen's Northern Expedition and his parents' writing and serving in the army to fight against Japan, instilling in him the concept of national supremacy of "everyone is responsible for the rise and fall of the world".

In terms of being a human being, Ma Heling quoted a passage from Zeng Guofan as Ma Ying-jeou's motto: "With the sincerity of the world, overcome the most false in the world; with the most clumsy of the world, overcome the most ingenious in the world."This concept of "honoring clumsiness" and "honesty" has a great influence on Ma Ying-jeou, making him develop a sincere and down-to-earth style of dealing with others.

Ma Ying-jeou recited "Three Hundred Poems of the Tang Dynasty", copied "Ancient Prose", "The Analects of Confucius" and so on, which had a subtle effect on the formation of the traditional Chinese concept of "loyalty and filial piety" and the concept of nation and country in his mind.Ma Heling asked his son not to have any bad habits of playing with things, and only encouraged him to play ball and run for fitness.

Under the cultivation of his father, in 1976, Ma Ying-jeou, who had obtained a master's degree, successfully entered Harvard University to study for a doctorate in international economic law and law of the sea.At this time, Ma Ying-jeou encouraged himself with the couplet of Donglin Academy in the Ming Dynasty, "The sound of the wind, the sound of the rain, and the sound of reading are in my ears; family affairs, state affairs, and world affairs, and I care about everything."

Ma Heling also hopes that his son can become "a generation of famous ministers with a long history".During Ma Ying-jeou's tenure as the "Minister of Justice", he actively investigated bribery and cracked down on gangsters, and some gangsters threatened to kill him.Ma Ying-jeou's mother and four sisters advised him not to do it, but Ma Heling firmly supported his son to continue doing it.

【Harvard view】

Cultivating children to learn to be human is the most successful education

In our country, parents (parents) spend most of their minds, energy and financial resources on their children's study guidance and improvement of academic performance, in order to get high marks in the exam, enter key primary schools, key middle schools, key universities and study abroad. And fame and family, and so on.Other content, such as how to behave, including honesty, hard work, how to do housework, how to take care of yourself...all make way for further education.

As a result, some children are only good at studying, but they are all "failed" in other aspects; There are shortcomings such as lack of love and a tendency to moral decline.Such things are undoubtedly the consequences of some families in our country who only pay attention to "scores" in family education.

Tao Xingzhi, a famous educator, said: "Thousands of teachings teach people to seek the truth, and thousands of lessons learn to be real people." Leaving children with some of the most basic qualities of life and letting them learn to be human is the most successful education.

American tutoring has almost nothing to do with reading, learning, grades, and entering a higher school. Instead, it pays attention to "being a person", focusing on morality, moral character, thoughts and ideals.This is also some differences with family education in our country.

At a national forum organized by the American Education Association, more than 100 outstanding teachers from various states jointly proposed 14 key points for teaching children how to be human, namely, honesty, hard work, self-confidence, independence, responsibility, bravery, and tenacity , Motivation, kindness, sharing, tolerance, politeness, gratitude and humility are the 14 most basic qualities of being a human being.These key points can be called the most shining treasures in a child's life. No matter how much the times change, the value of these core characters in human society will not change, and they will always affect everyone's entire life.And cultivating these most basic qualities of children is the key to teaching children to learn to be human.

In the process of children's growth, an important part is to teach children how to behave.So, where should this type of education start?
In a person's life, the childhood stage is a fusion period of personality development. Children in this period are particularly strong in imitation ability, identification ability, and internalization ability, and it is a critical period for personality cultivation.Parents should use scientific educational concepts to guide their children correctly and reasonably, teach them to be tolerant, treat others sincerely, and be an open-minded and cheerful person; teach them self-protection and self-defense; communication strategies; teach children to face fierce competition, use knowledge and ability to win, without violence or illegal means, etc., so that children can form a sound personality under the correct guidance.

1. Teach children to be responsible
First of all, teach children to be responsible for themselves.Since he is sensible, from arranging work and rest time, games, communication, learning, to organizing his own toys, books, and beds, he strives to let him take the initiative to complete it.

Secondly, when dealing with learning, encourage him to take the initiative to complete it on his own, so as to be uncompromising and meticulous.Only when children have a sense of responsibility can they take everything seriously, and then they can have self-esteem, self-love, and self-improvement.

When a child causes loss or injury to others unintentionally or intentionally, parents do not need to make a fuss, accuse the child too much, let alone excuse the child's mistake, but guide the child and take corresponding responsibilities with the child so that the child can form A responsible emotional attitude.Cultivate children in an all-round way to be responsible for themselves, their family, others, and society, so that they must correct their mistakes and take their mistakes as warnings, so that they can gradually become useful talents who can adapt to real life.

2. Teach children to be kind to others
Society is made up of people. If a person wants to be recognized and respected by others, he must first recognize and respect others.In daily life, we need to educate children to understand empathy, to be able to look at problems from the perspective of the other party, and to learn to be empathetic and tolerant of others.Especially when encountering such and such unsatisfactory situations, let him analyze the problem calmly.If the responsibility is on your own side, you must take the initiative to understand the shortcomings and get out of the misunderstanding of always thinking about problems with self-centeredness.In this way, he can better integrate into the collective.

3. Educate children to be brave
Life always has to face many difficulties and setbacks. Educating children to be brave is the need for their growth.The first level of being brave is to encounter difficulties and setbacks, to establish the confidence to win, and to find ways to overcome difficulties, grasp the specific steps of doing things, and finally experience the joy of success.

[Easy interaction]

1. In terms of being a person and doing things, what are your children's strengths and weaknesses?

2. As a parent, how do you guide your children to behave?

【Parent-child total product】

The following are the ways parents in various countries guide their children to behave and do things for reference:

The Germans believe that "the debate between the two generations is an important step on the road to adulthood for the next generation."Therefore, they encourage children to argue with their parents about something and express their opinions freely.Through arguing, the child feels that his parents are just and reasonable, and he will love you, rely on you, and respect you more from the bottom of his heart.What you want your child to do, he has figured it out through arguing, and he will do it wholeheartedly.You have a difficult problem, and your child's participation in the debate can also inspire you.

In order to enhance children's self-care concept, Japanese parents consciously let children learn to judge right from wrong and make choices.For example, if you go to a store to buy toys, parents will set an amount in advance and let the children decide what to buy; when the family plans to travel, they will also ask the children for their opinions.After Japanese children reach junior high school, they can go to the street to buy most of the clothes independently, and they will shop around and plan carefully.

If a child fails to do something, the British concept is not to simply prevent the child from doing it or the parents simply arrange it, but to provide another chance.For example, let the child wash the dishes and soak the clothes, guide the child to do it again, and teach him how to avoid failure.

American parents teach their children to do housework and post the content of housework to be done once a week.Designate a certain task to a certain child, and determine the deadline for completing the task; take turns to do certain tasks, so that each child has the opportunity to do the work that is not interesting or the easiest; check the child's completion status, so that Children have a sense of accomplishment in completing tasks because of their own labor.

In Canadian families, children have very little homework and no parental chatter about studies.What parents pay attention to is to let the children relax all day long, play games and toys, and learn knowledge that cannot be learned in books while playing.

In every Jewish home, when the child is a little sensible, the mother will open the "Bible", drop a little honey on it, and then ask the child to kiss the honey on the "Bible".The purpose of this ceremony is self-evident: books are sweet.In ancient times, there were often books in Jewish cemeteries, and it was said that the dead would read books in the dead of night.Of course, this approach has a certain symbolic meaning, that is: there is a time when life ends, but there is no end to the pursuit of knowledge.

【Harvard view】

Being a good teacher and helpful friend to children is a smart parent
Gorky once said: Caring for children is something that hens can do, but educating children is a great cause, and it requires talent and extensive life knowledge.

As children grow older, they have a certain ability of independent thinking, and their ways of looking at and dealing with problems sometimes differ from those of their parents.If this difference is not handled properly, it will lead to intensified conflicts and make children rebellious, which will have an adverse impact on the healthy development of children.To prevent the "generation gap" from occurring, or to keep it as small as possible, the best way is to be a good teacher and helpful friend for children.

The great revolutionary teacher Marx loved children very much and was praised by his daughters as "the most ideal friend, the kindest and most pleasant comrade".

Marx never put on airs as a father in front of his daughter.He not only told his daughters magical and wonderful stories one after another, but also recited poems and drama lines with them, so that the children were often immersed in fabulous reveries.

When his daughter Elena was very young, Marx read her Homer's epics and many famous plays by Shakespeare.Once, Marina was moved by Malliat’s sailing stories. She didn’t even know what a captain was, but she still asked her father if she could be the captain, pretending to be a boy, and sneaking away to rent a warship.The father pretended to be serious and told her: Of course it is absolutely possible, but before the plan is fully mature, you should not tell anyone about it.

Marx and his wife, Jenny, attach great importance to their children's holidays. The couple often take their children to play in botanical gardens full of natural scenery and zoos with rare birds and animals.There, the children enjoyed catching butterflies, picking wild flowers, observing every scene and everything, and gained useful knowledge from it.

The Marx couple always gave specific and easy-to-understand answers to the questions raised by their daughters.The children asked questions, sometimes at the wrong time, sometimes too stubborn, but Marx never got angry, always so gentle and patient.Although he was sometimes busy, he never let the children feel that they disturbed their father.

Marx's good education enabled the three daughters to grow up healthily and all became outstanding figures later on.

Being a good teacher and helpful friend to children can also play a positive role in promoting parents.With the development of the times, young and middle-aged parents who play multiple roles and shoulder multiple responsibilities in society need to constantly update their knowledge and ideas so that they can better communicate with their children.

[Easy interaction]

1. Is there a "generation gap" between you and your child?What are the main problems?
2. What enlightenment did Marx's story about educating children give you?
【Parent-child total product】

The outstanding scientist Marie Curie can be described as a good teacher and helpful friend for her children.

As early as when her daughter was less than 1 year old, Mrs. Curie guided her children to do intellectual gymnastics training for young children, guided them to get in touch with strangers extensively, went to the zoo to watch animals, let them learn to swim, and appreciate the beauty of nature.When the children were a little older, she taught them to do a kind of intellectual gymnastics with artistic color, sing nursery rhymes and tell fairy tales.When they are older, let the children carry out intellectual training, hand-made, literacy, playing the piano, etc., teach them to ride a bicycle, ride a horse, cultivate various life skills, enhance their self-confidence, and exercise their character.

When the child reaches the age of entering the kindergarten, she invites professors and scholars to be the teacher of the child, and arranges the content of mathematics, chemistry and other subjects in turn.Lectures are held in the laboratory or at the scene of related work.The professors spoke concretely and interestingly.However, what the children love most is Madame Curie's physics class.She often attracts children in a unique way.Mrs. Curie pays more attention to the cultivation of children's hands-on ability, trying to let children make their own watches for winter and summer vacations, etc., to arouse children's curiosity.

(End of this chapter)